The document is a diary entry written by Shobha recounting her experiences after coming out as a lesbian to her conservative village in India and marrying her partner Rupali. When their families reject them, the village forces them to leave threatening violence. They flee to Nagpur but are afraid to stay due to threats. An NGO helps relocate them and they find work and housing in their new city, hoping one day their families will accept them.

1. 18 THE BIG STORY * SUNDAY TIMES OF INDIA, MUMBAI
JUNE 28, 2009
STRAIGHT TALK
Young people in India are increasingly at ease with homosexuality, finds a TOI-Synovate
T
he coming out party may be becoming bigger in urban India but
for many, the closet door is still firmly shut. Earlier this month,
two young girls in love decided to push it open a crack. The girls,
who belonged to conservative middle class families in the sleepy
survey, even as Delhi plays host to its second Queer Pride march today mining hamlet of Sillewara, 25 km from Nagpur did something all gay
,
couples dream of but few have the courage to execute. They got married
Neelam Raaj | TNN Jerusalem Mumbai to reach out to the straights, says
and told their families. Recriminations and even death threats followed.
the gay community could also do
Hounded out of their homes, Shobha, 19 and Rupali 18 (not their real
S
traight meet gay — it’s a bit of soul-searching. “We
names) are still together Neelam Raaj caught up with them in the city to
.
pride season. But once the should not think of ourselves as
which they fled. Excerpts from the diary Shobha might have written when
feathery floats have rolled unique or different. There is no
she and her lover were run out of their village:
off into the distance and shame or pride in homosexuali-
the rainbow flags are put away, ty,” he says. June 9 | Tomorrow Rupali and I will tell our parents we are married.
will the two worlds ever be able None of this is to diminish We have thought about it a lot and finally worked up the courage. Both
to find common ground? Warsaw the enduring force of deep-seat- of us can’t live without each other and we want to be honest with the
Much of the debate about ho- ed cultural and religious preju- people we love.
mosexuality in India has focused dice against homosexuality Even
.
on Section 377, which criminal- though Indian men are always June 10 | Morning: All hell has broken loose. My parents shouted at
izes same-sex activity But life goes
. publicly holding hands or wrap- me, even my mother, who I thought would at least try to understand. I
beyond legal issues. Be it Meerut ping their arms around each oth- couldn’t even say goodbye to my younger brother and sister.
or Mumbai, people are sorting out er, they don’t like to be called gay. June 10 | Afternoon: We are at Rupali’s house. She lives in the same
more fundamental questions — Mexico Even the government had to coin mohalla in Sillewara — that’s how we got to know each other. Her par-
like how to integrate the gay and the term MSM (Men who have ents were shocked when we told them. I guess they were angry with
straight worlds. Everyday life is Sex with Men) in order to pro- themselves too for not raising a `normal’ daughter. We have begged them
about confronting stereotypes mote condom use as the term to let us stay the night because we have nowhere else to go.
about one another and testing was disliked.
comfort zones. “We still feel threatened by June 11 | The villagers arrived and told Rupali’s parents there was no
The parades on Sunday are expressions of love,” says Mum- way we would be allowed to stay here. Long-forgotten relatives also
definitely a step toward assimi- bai-based Onir who is making a turned up, started telling us we were be-
lation. “It is about showing peo- UNITED COLOURS: All across the world gay people are coming out of the closet and bringing some of their short film on the harassment smirching the fami-
ple that we aren’t different. We friends and family over to the pro-gay camp, making it easier for others to live openly gays face at the hands of police ly name and insist-
because of Section 377. ing we leave. The last
port,” he says. Even fundraising of all respondents said they ing whether gays are promis- Later this year, the Delhi high straw was when the
Be it Meerut or was both a gay and straight af- found it offensive, 33% said they cuous. Almost two-thirds said court will deliver its verdict on police came. Rupali’s
Mumbai, people are fair this year. did not and 23% said they would they were not. Another asked Section 377. Whatever the judg- parents simply told us
increasingly sorting So is there a growing accept- disapprove only if the display people whether all homosexu- ment, the community has come to clear out and never
ance of homosexuality in the last was overtly sexual. In a country als got infected by AIDS. About out — and in force. As a slogan return. It hurts even to
out more fundamental two decades? An eight-city sur- that even frowns upon displays 30% said yes they do, 42% said coined for Sunday's pride puts it: think about it. We had
questions — like how vey conducted by leading mar- of affection among heterosexu- gayness and AIDS were not con- ‘I Am Queer, Do You Hear’. no idea what to do but
to integrate the gay ket research agency Synovate ex- al couples, the responses suggest nected and the remaining 28% help arrives in strange
and straight worlds clusively for TOI clearly indi- a much greater of acceptance of pointed out that unprotected sex ways. A reporter who
cated that the winds of change gayness than is generally be- could lead to AIDS irrespective had come to the village
are blowing across the country . lieved to be the case. of whether one is homosex- to write about us was
pay our taxes and our bills like And it is the ‘Dostana’ genera- Activists say it is math — each ual or heterosexual. moved by our plight and
everyone else and we should have tion that is leading the way with
, person who comes out of the clos- For creative profes- put us in touch with
the same right to fall in love,” the survey showing that the et brings at least some of his sional Harish Iyer, the gay- Sarathi Trust, which LOVING BOND: An earlier photo of Shobha and
says Monish Malhotra, a mem- younger age group (18-30 years) friends and family over to the pro- straight divide has disap- works with gay people in Rupali at their village
ber of the Delhi Queer Pride was more at ease with homo- gay camp, and this in turn makes peared in the workplace. Nagpur.
Committee which is organizing sexuality than older people in it easier for others to live openly. His boss, Prateek Kumar,
the city’s second march. the 31 to 45 age group. Two other questions were agrees. “Everyone in the of- June 12 | The NGO activists have given us food and a place to sleep. They
The marches will not be an The response to a question aimed at finding out whether fice knows he is gay but why are also willing to give us some kind of work and shelter in Nagpur but
exclusive gay, lesbian and trans- about whether people disap- popular mythologies about ho- should his sexual preferences we are scared. Our village is not far enough from the city and someone
gender event. “Parents, friends, proved of public displays of af- mosexuality are losing ground. matter.” Iyer, who has could spot us. When we left home, the villagers were threatening to set
colleagues and siblings of queer fection among gays was perhaps The responses indicate that they launched an online group us on fire or kill us. It’s too much of a risk to stay in Nagpur.
people will all show up for sup- the most surprising. Only 43% are. The first was a question ask- called ‘Friends of Gay’ June 13 | Sangini Trust, an organization that runs a support programme
has offered to relocate us. We have accepted it. There is nothing to pack.
We only have to wait for the train tickets.
June 17 | Board the train from Nagpur.
June 18 | Arrived in our new city. We are a little scared but also excit-
ed about starting a new life.
June 21 | We have got new clothes and haircuts. We look like city girls
now.
June 22 | Met other women like us. It’s so good to know that we
aren’t crazy Tomorrow, a job interview has been set up for us.
.
June 24 | We both have jobs and even a one-room place of
our own. We wish our parents could see how happy we are.
One day we know they will accept us.
,
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R## 30.012009 30.0/.2009 1001- Completion Pedod 05 Q lv e) Months
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2525 - 2009
- 06 MANAGING DIRECTOR davp 10301/11/0123/0910 For & on Behalf of the President of India davp 10102/11/036510910 davp 10201/11/0245/0910 For General Manager