This document outlines eight 20th century theories about Jesus Christ, each proposing a different identity and role. These include Jesus as a Passover plotter who planned to survive crucifixion, a radical Zealot revolutionary, a proponent of hallucinogenic mushroom rituals, a depraved cult leader and magician, the founder of the Merovingian dynasty in France, an 80-year old survivor of the cross, a wandering sage, and a proponent of an alternative womanist church rejected by Constantine. An additional note proposes Jesus was actually a woman.