1. Aminadab D. Mahinay BSED-2SE2
Prof. Joan D. Gervacio October 1, 2012
English 12
Title: “Swimming Again”
Characters:
Ahmie- the team captain of the swimming team for girls.
- A thin girl who loved to swim like her idol Michael Phelps.
- Jolly and sometimes a serious type of a person.
Richard - a small boy who swims fast like a speed boat.
- The team captain of the swimming team for boys.
Marlie – a tall girl and the fastest swimmers the team has.
- Who won gold medal every swimming competition?
Mona – a brave teacher and the aunt of Ahmie.
- The coach of the swimming team of Butuan City.
Setting: At the school swimming pool, at Surigao City swimming pool
Conflict: When Ahmie found out that she can’t swim on the PalarongPambansa for
some reasons. And she blamed herself that she thought that she is a wicked girl who
can’t swim fast like her team mates.
Major Events: Ahmie practiced so hard just to impress her aunt that she is a good
swimmer and she can play on the PalarongPambansa.
Ending: Ahmie and the swimming team of Butuan City won only the silver medal
and going home celebrate their victory.
Theme: “Don’t depend on your own abilities”

2. Aminadab D. Mahinay BSED-2SE2
Prof. Joan D. Gervacio October 1, 2012
English 12
“Swimming Again”
One morning, there was a team who are very busy on their swimming training at
the seashore of Masao, Butuan City.
The team was led by their coach Ma’am Mona, with her two team captains
namely: Ahmie for the girls and Richard for the boy’s team. They focused their practice
on the different swimming styles that their coach wants them to swim on the coming
Regional Meet to be held at Surigao City. On the next day would be their travel going to
Surigao City to attend the Regional Meet for all the cities of CARAGA Region.
Sunday morning at 9:00 o clock, the bus and the athletes with their coaches are
ready to go to Surigao City. The athletes were very excited to meet new friends and to
meet new faces. And at exactly 1:30 in the afternoon the delegates from Butuan City
arrived at Surigao City new built stadium. The delegates were amazed about the said
stadium because the field was made up of rubber. At that time also, the opening
ceremony was formally started.
Monday morning, the different events were started. The different city of CARAGA
Region starts to meet their competitor’s team. At that time also, the swimming team of
Butuan City meet their greatest and hardest competitor who is the City of Bislig. The
game was started and Ahmie and Marlie won the gold medal for the 200 meter breast
stroke and 200 meter freestyle women individualcategory. Richard also won a gold
medal for the 400 meter butterfly for men category. Ma’am Mona was very proud of her
team who won the championship medal. The overall champion of that Regional Meet
competition was the delegates from Butuan City.
On the first week of November after the Regional meet, the swimming team of
Butuan City was very busy again on their practice for the preparation for the
PalarongPambansa. At the middle of the training, Ma’am Mona told her niece Ahmie
that she can’t play for the PalarongPambansa for some reasons that there was a player
from Bislig City who is more qualified for the rank. Ahmie was very depressed at that
time, and she keep on blaming herself that all of it was the result of her laziness during
their practice. Ahmie wants to go out from the team, but her two friends Marlie and
Richard inspired her to go on their team and be good at this time. Ahmie was glad for
what her team mates said, instead of backing out to her team she do her best on
practicing her style in swimming until the day that she improves a lot. The time came
that coach Mona will select the best players among her team who would qualified to the
PalarongPambansa. Ahmie, Marlie, Richard and the rest of the teams were selected.
Ahmie was surprised and hug her aunt for this announcement that she heard.
At the last week of November the team was already there at Palawan, the venue
for the PalarongPambansa. At this time, Ahmie got a high fever because of the over
fatigue. In result of the high fever Ahmie can’t play but she still can watch the game.
At the end, Ahmie and the swimming team of CARAGA Region won the silver
medal and going home celebrate their victory. Ahmie realized that whatever she does in
her life without the support of her family, friends,team mates and most of all the
Almighty God she can’t do everything.
Critiques:
Roman Catolico – the story is hanging.
- Lack of excitement.
Meralee Jones Vigilla–some words or statements are confusing.
- Make some twist on some events.