1. 09/05/2014 15:19Advice to parents
Page 1 of 3http://www.cpft.nhs.uk/GTRT/advice-to-parents.htm
Search GTRT... Search
Home About Safety Rough Stuff Remedies Get more out of life More
Text only | Accessibility | Privacy policy
You are here : > Advice to parents
Advice to parents
Need help now?
A Guide to Rough Times
Rough stuff remedies
Covering your tracks if necessary
Online and mobile safety
How and where to get online
Being a friend
Peer pressure
Is there something wrong with me?
Life is not worth living
Feeling lonely or isolated
Worried about someone else?
Looking after someone else
Being disabled or ill
Boys don't cry?
It's different for girls
Sexual identity - straight, gay, not
sure?
Sexual health, pregnancy
Being unsafe or in danger
Being abused
Domestic violence and abuse
Rape and sexual assault
Bullying
Bad habits and addictions
Alcohol and drinking
Smoking
Drugs and substance abuse
Gambling
Eating disorders
Self-harm
Being a bully
Adopting an appropriate parenting style
By Praneet Grewal, Research Assistant at University of Essex
The changes a teenager goes through
Young adults undergo a multitude of developmental adjustments encompassing:
biological,
cognitive,
emotional
and most significantly
social adaptation.
The way parents nurture, support, and attend to their children is thought to shape mental health throughout the
lifespan.
A balanced approach – warm and firm
Teenagers just need the right balance between exploration of their own independence and the correct guidance of
parents.
Teenagers are at their prime of experiencing the world around them and the last sentence they wish to hear parents say
is: “We know better than you as we are your elders”.
Various researchers and their work have favorably approved a warm, yet firm style of parenting, labelled as
authoritative.
An authoritative style is recommended
An authoritative style exhibits its positive outcomes by stimulating the practice of independence in teenagers and at
the same time allowing the parents to exercise their established supervision. In the periphery of the authoritative style,
parents may try to understand the adolescent’s perspective, encourage them to make their own decisions, let them
exercise freedom and validate things through discussion, thereby helping teens to increase their perception of self
worth. Teens display a strong urge to build confidence through autonomy denoting “self rule”. An authoritative style
allows the parent to be 'autonomy supportive' as it enhances the teen’s sense of self and their capabilities to manage
Home Find help Young people Professional help for teenagers
Listen
PrintPrint EmailEmail

2. 09/05/2014 15:19Advice to parents
Page 2 of 3http://www.cpft.nhs.uk/GTRT/advice-to-parents.htm
Gangs
Criminal behaviour
Someone close has died
Left home or run away
Where you live
Parents,family arguments and break-
ups
Discrimination
Cultural differences
In education
In or out of work
Money troubles
Your rights, making decisions
Get more to your life
GTRT Frequently asked questions
GTRT site map
Search GTRT
experiences and actions. A study observed that children who perceive their parents as 'autonomy supportive' tend to be
higher on dimensions of personal growth, meaningful relationships and community contributions (as opposed to the
extrinsic aspirations of wealth, fame and image).
The effect of a too-authoritarian style
Parents might not want their teens to unquestionably accept the rules established by them, as its more likely that this
type of parenting (authoritarian) makes the child learn that abiding by parental rules is appreciated more than
independent behavior, thus leading the teen to be either more rebellious or a more dependent on parent behaviour.
The effect of a too-permissive style
Giving into all the wishes of adolescents, not disappointing them on any level, and more importantly, not using the word
“no” is something a permissive parent would indulge in. In such cases the adolescent are less likely to learn concepts
relating boundaries and rules, which may result in them portraying egocentric conduct, not appropriate for the growth
of their peer relationships.
Get involved
One is aware of the several stress related issues parents need to tackle, but parents should definitely try not to neglect
their teens. The evidence is manifold that secure attachments and feelings of relatedness are associated with
psychological well-being.
Parents should avoid developing an uninvolved parenting style where adolescent’s needs are overlooked, and their
day-to-day interaction with the world, especially at peer and school level, are not talked about. A study in 2011
observed that adolescents with disengaged or authoritarian parents were at a higher risk of teenage pregnancy.
Here is where communication comes in handy. Parents should try and communicate to a great extent with their teens,
and not just verbal communication, but also indirect communication such as setting expectations and modeling
behavior. Parents should try and educate themselves about age appropriate developmental markers, as when not met,
they can act as red flags. Parents could address issues at an earlier stage resulting in a greater likelihood for positive
changes.
When parents disagree
In a family, both parents could have their own individual way of parenting and could hold difference of opinions. In
such cases, it is best for parenets to privately agree consistent rules for specific teenage behaviours. All parents get the
opportunity to establish an array of rules that define the dos and don'ts of a family life but it is critical to comprehend
whether the household rules reflect an understanding of the child's development and an empathic connection between
the parent and child. The right parenting style helps teens to perceive their parents’ positive intentions leading to
better understanding in the relationship.
The page was last updated on 25 October 2012 by andrea.bateman.
Advice to parentsYou are here : >
explore a guide to rough times
Home Find help Young people Professional help for teenagers

3. 09/05/2014 15:19Advice to parents
Page 3 of 3http://www.cpft.nhs.uk/GTRT/advice-to-parents.htm
need help, fast?
find out who to contact in a crisis
what's making things rough?
explore the issues affecting your emotional and
physical wellbeing
enhance your life
find out how to boost your self esteem, relax and
recharge
My liked pages
About the Trust Contact the Trust Glossary Disclaimer Feedback
Cambridgeshire and Peterborough NHS Foundation Trust,Elizabeth House, Fulbourn Hospital,Cambridge, CB21 5EF,T 01223 726789