1. The Royal Office of the Prince Den Kongelige Kontor Prinsen
Official Statement | Officiel Erklæring
Heartbreak & National Crisis:
My dearest friends of the People of Denmark, do not be fooled. The world is not the pure and
truthful place that it once seemed to be. No, lately, since the death of my father, I have come
to see society in a vastly different light. Over the course of typing this entry, my keyboard has
many times brought me near a total mental breakdown. The recent events have drastically
diminished my faith in society, and I no longer see the point in moving forward. Perhaps, I
will disappear one day. But now, before my cohesiveness totally fails me, there are certain
things that I, your dutiful prince, must address.
The time beckons me to reflect upon the meaning behind being a nobleman. It is a title that
once carried its weight in integrity, and the sense of responsibility to act for the good of the
people. Well, that is, until I woke up to reality. Enter the “weed-people”. No, I am not referring
to gardeners, or your neighborhood “stoners”; rather, I am calling to attention the disgraceful
breed of truly foul and many-faced toadies who walk among us, wrapping themselves around
societies’ riches. These are the very people who have now seized power in our country.
Congratulations Denmark, you are now being ruled by a family of parasites. Your beloved
ruler is dead. A month ago, you have lost a truly divine man who was committed to his
country, family, and friends. Now, squatting on the throne, is an insignificant blowfish that
has inflated himself to power with the collective wealth of the people. Beware, my beloved
nation: this man has thorns of the devil.
Also, to the men out there: beware of the needy, crafty creatures that are women. My recent
experiences have led me to discover their true nature as voracious and distasteful beasts
who dine on whatever is next in the line of men. Just look to your queen, the monster, who,
forgetting entirely about her life with Zeus, now incestuously invites the blowfish to keep
herself warm in bed. And you people wonder why no public business is ever being done.
So, my friends, be forewarned: the kingdom is in a mess, and we are in for much, much
trouble to come.