This document discusses marriage as if it were a book, with each year of marriage representing a new chapter. It encourages the reader and their spouse to independently come up with chapter titles for each year of their marriage to gain insight into each other's perspectives and experiences. The document suggests this exercise can help couples better understand each other and work to make their current chapter, and future years, the best they can be.

1. What if marriage is like abook?Whenyouget marriedyoubegininthe middle of anewly
printedbook.Canyousmell the pages?Doyou feel the crispness asyouopenthe cover?If youare an e-
reader,go tothe bookstore andexperiencethis. Inmyopinion,itisrightupthere witha new pair of
socksand freshlywashedsheets.Itmayeventopfreshhotvanillacreamerwithalittle bitof coffee.Lay
the bookin frontof you on yourweddingdayandyou begintowrite yourstorywithyour partner,your
teammate,yourlover. A fewpagesintothe storythingsare flowingprettywell,butyoustartto feel the
genre changingtoa possible thrillerinsteadof aromance novel.You quicklyturntothe back of the book
to see howitends,pagesare blank.Youfliptothe beginningandlow andbeholdyoureadaboutyour
partner’schildhoodthatwasn’talwayspleasant.Ahha,thatexplainswhyhe reactedtoyouwhenyou
innocentlysaid….“___” Fill inthe blank,itisyourstory.
At the endof mymarriage I want mybookto looklike a weathered,beatup,classic,well-read
book.I wantit to have wordsand entire sectionshighlighted.Iwantwrinkledpagesfromtears,coffee
stainsand dogearedpages.Howdo you wantyour bookto lookat the endof yourmarriage?Brand
new,neveropened,coveredindustordoyou wanta classicthathas beenducttapedtogethersothe
bindingdoesnotfall apart?The amazingthingaboutthis bookisthat the endorsementsforthisbook
will continue longafteryoupassaway.If youhave children,theywillcontinuetoendorse ordisregard
your “book”.Today,youget to impactthe endorsementsyoureceive.Prettypowerful.Youalsogetto
choose whetherornotyou evergoto Chapter1, grab a blanket,curl upand settle in.Itwill be different
than yourownchapter 1. Your partnerhad a unique experiencejustlike youdid.Wanttoreadabout? I
dare you. Beginbyaskingquestionssuchas,“Tell me aboutyourfavorite birthday.Tell me asad
memory. Do yourememberbeingdisappointedbyyourfamily?Whatwere yourfriendslike?”We know
the storiesof our children’slivesandourown,buthow well dowe know the one we have chose nto
spendthe restof our life with?
Nowthinkaboutthe years youhave beenmarried.Whatwouldthe firstchapterof your
weddedlifebe titled?Mine,“Babyinten”.Yep,married,house andthen10 monthslaterwe were
parents. Whenour lastchildleftforcollege andwe became emptynesters,itwasan eye opening
momenttorealize throughoutourentire marriedlife,there wasonlyone monthof the 20 years
togetherwe were not“with”child.Iwouldthenhave titledthe 20th
chapter,“NewlywedsAtLast”.
What do youwant thischapterof yourmarriage to be titled?Because yougettocoauthor the
bookof yourmarriage,include yourspouse inthissimpleexercise. Make alistof chaptertitlesforeach
yearyou have married,dothisseparately.Thismaytake some time.If itisdifficulttodoforeach yearof
your marriage,feel freetogroupa fewtogether.Forexample”1-2,3-5, 6-10, 11-15, etc.Compare your
titlesanddiscusswhyyoutitleditwhatyoudid.End the exercise byaskingwhatyouwantthisyear’s
chapterto be titled,itisnotoveryet,unlessitisyouranniversary.WhichIsay,“CongratulationsandI
challenge youtotitle yournextyear,“The bestyearyet!””
For fun,please listyourmostinterestingtitle thatyoucome upwith.