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Loneliness is a Killer
When you look at the death rate statistics of western
society it has a bit of a jump just after NewYear, this
isn’t just due to the cold weather as it happens in
Australia as well
You also find the same spike in the three years
following retirement and a short time after the death
of an elderly spouse
Why? One thing all these events have in common
is connection
People near the end of their life look forward to
Christmas and NewYear with their families after which
they have nothing to look forward to for a while
Retired people go from their life being filled with
people at work to almost no one in their life
As for the death of a spouse, my Grandfather was ill for
a lot of years, but he hung on in there, then my
Grandma got breast cancer and died not long after
With nothing left to live for my Grandfather also
died less than a year later
The CoronaVirus is forcing millions of people into
isolation across the world to protect themselves from
this deadly virus
For those in isolation it’s going to be a rough ride
Seven years ago, my Step Father died leaving my
mother a widow
Since then she’s built a life for herself
She’s retired now but works part time at a theatre,
sings with a local choir, looks after my nephew once
per week, visits close friends, plays table tennis, goes
to church and much more
She’s filled her life with people and now for the
foreseeable future, it’s all gone.
She spends her days alone at home with the occasional
walk which is why it is vitally important for myself, my
brother, other family members and friends to keep in
touch
Even if we’re isolating ourselves it can be easy to
forget to keep in touch so here’s a way to ensure all of
your loved ones have the connection they need to get
through this;
Set Up
Schedule
Show Up
Firstly, set up the means by which you’re going to
communicate, then schedule the time and frequency
and finally show up
Set Up
How are you going to communicate, phone,
video call, email, instant messenger?
The more engaging the better, seeing each other in
person is out of the question when in self-quarantine
so video calling would be the next best thing followed
by a phone call then the myriad of other written
communications
If you want to do a video call spend some time to get it
set up, if one of you is not very tech savvy spend a bit
of time researching the simplest solution
Don’t forget things like bandwidth, do you need to
upgrade your internet connection speed and is it still
possible in your area
Once it’s set up decide who will make the call, make
sure both people know how to receive them, it’s a lot
easier to pick up a call than to make it
Test, test, test
Test your ability to get in touch with each other at least
5 times if it’s a new method of communication such as
video calling when you’d typically just use the phone
You don’t have to stick to one method of
communication either, setup a familyWhatsApp
group, send text messages, emails or chat through
social media.
Whatever you need to do to keep the
conversations going, do it
Schedule
It’s important that you schedule the
conversations
Preferably at the same time and same days every
week, for example Monday 5pm,Tuesday 8pm,
Thursday 5pm, Friday 9pm and Sunday 1pm
Write down the schedule and put it in a safe place
This may not be possible, if not you still need to
schedule it, after every call schedule the next day /
time you’re going to call and write it down or add it to
your day calendar
At the absolute minimum I would recommend you
commit to the next day in which you’re going to call
whether that be tomorrow or any other time in the
future
Set up reminders on your phone or calendar so that
you remember this is a commitment you’ve made
Show Up
If you fail to show up, you could do some serious
damage to their mental health
If there’s any doubt that you’ll be able to make the
next conversation make sure you manage their
expectations and agree on a course of action if you
can’t make it
You might want to commit sending a text message
before the arranged time to let them know you got
tied up with something else
Agree that if you can’t make it, you’ll rearrange the
day/time of the next call in the text message you send
to cancel your conversation
These steps are vital to keeping the spirits up of
the person who is isolated
It gives them something to look forward to, it gives
them hope, and hope is what will keep them going
even in the darkest of times
Don’t make any commitments that you have no
intention to keep and when you make a commitment,
really commit to it, don’t mess the other person about,
this can do more harm than just not communicating at
all
Over the coming weeks and months of isolation let’s
keep everybody talking, if you can spare the time
reach out to your local council to see if there are any
initiatives in your area where you can reach out to
strangers who are alone and isolated
Together we can bring hope to the entire world,
together we can get through this corona virus crises
There is more that you can do to help overcome your
own feelings of loneliness or the feelings of others
To find out more sign up for my
FREE Overcoming Loneliness
guidebook and workbook

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Loneliness is a killer

  • 2. When you look at the death rate statistics of western society it has a bit of a jump just after NewYear, this isn’t just due to the cold weather as it happens in Australia as well
  • 3. You also find the same spike in the three years following retirement and a short time after the death of an elderly spouse
  • 4. Why? One thing all these events have in common is connection
  • 5. People near the end of their life look forward to Christmas and NewYear with their families after which they have nothing to look forward to for a while
  • 6. Retired people go from their life being filled with people at work to almost no one in their life
  • 7. As for the death of a spouse, my Grandfather was ill for a lot of years, but he hung on in there, then my Grandma got breast cancer and died not long after
  • 8. With nothing left to live for my Grandfather also died less than a year later
  • 9. The CoronaVirus is forcing millions of people into isolation across the world to protect themselves from this deadly virus
  • 10. For those in isolation it’s going to be a rough ride
  • 11. Seven years ago, my Step Father died leaving my mother a widow
  • 12. Since then she’s built a life for herself
  • 13. She’s retired now but works part time at a theatre, sings with a local choir, looks after my nephew once per week, visits close friends, plays table tennis, goes to church and much more
  • 14. She’s filled her life with people and now for the foreseeable future, it’s all gone.
  • 15. She spends her days alone at home with the occasional walk which is why it is vitally important for myself, my brother, other family members and friends to keep in touch
  • 16. Even if we’re isolating ourselves it can be easy to forget to keep in touch so here’s a way to ensure all of your loved ones have the connection they need to get through this;
  • 18. Firstly, set up the means by which you’re going to communicate, then schedule the time and frequency and finally show up
  • 20. How are you going to communicate, phone, video call, email, instant messenger?
  • 21. The more engaging the better, seeing each other in person is out of the question when in self-quarantine so video calling would be the next best thing followed by a phone call then the myriad of other written communications
  • 22. If you want to do a video call spend some time to get it set up, if one of you is not very tech savvy spend a bit of time researching the simplest solution
  • 23. Don’t forget things like bandwidth, do you need to upgrade your internet connection speed and is it still possible in your area
  • 24. Once it’s set up decide who will make the call, make sure both people know how to receive them, it’s a lot easier to pick up a call than to make it
  • 26. Test your ability to get in touch with each other at least 5 times if it’s a new method of communication such as video calling when you’d typically just use the phone
  • 27. You don’t have to stick to one method of communication either, setup a familyWhatsApp group, send text messages, emails or chat through social media.
  • 28. Whatever you need to do to keep the conversations going, do it
  • 30. It’s important that you schedule the conversations
  • 31. Preferably at the same time and same days every week, for example Monday 5pm,Tuesday 8pm, Thursday 5pm, Friday 9pm and Sunday 1pm
  • 32. Write down the schedule and put it in a safe place
  • 33. This may not be possible, if not you still need to schedule it, after every call schedule the next day / time you’re going to call and write it down or add it to your day calendar
  • 34. At the absolute minimum I would recommend you commit to the next day in which you’re going to call whether that be tomorrow or any other time in the future
  • 35. Set up reminders on your phone or calendar so that you remember this is a commitment you’ve made
  • 37. If you fail to show up, you could do some serious damage to their mental health
  • 38. If there’s any doubt that you’ll be able to make the next conversation make sure you manage their expectations and agree on a course of action if you can’t make it
  • 39. You might want to commit sending a text message before the arranged time to let them know you got tied up with something else
  • 40. Agree that if you can’t make it, you’ll rearrange the day/time of the next call in the text message you send to cancel your conversation
  • 41. These steps are vital to keeping the spirits up of the person who is isolated
  • 42. It gives them something to look forward to, it gives them hope, and hope is what will keep them going even in the darkest of times
  • 43. Don’t make any commitments that you have no intention to keep and when you make a commitment, really commit to it, don’t mess the other person about, this can do more harm than just not communicating at all
  • 44. Over the coming weeks and months of isolation let’s keep everybody talking, if you can spare the time reach out to your local council to see if there are any initiatives in your area where you can reach out to strangers who are alone and isolated
  • 45. Together we can bring hope to the entire world, together we can get through this corona virus crises
  • 46. There is more that you can do to help overcome your own feelings of loneliness or the feelings of others
  • 47. To find out more sign up for my FREE Overcoming Loneliness guidebook and workbook