Making sense of adolescence
•Download as PPTX, PDF•
1 like•364 views
Yes, parents and teens can get along. We'll show you how. Get insight into how the adolescent brain works and the secret behind their more baffling behaviors. Learn the top 2 communication mistakes most parents make. Get 4 tactics to turn power struggles into powerful connections. You and you're teen will be living in harmony in no time.
Recommended
More Related Content
Viewers also liked
Recently uploaded
Recently uploaded (20)
Making sense of adolescence
- 1. www.theFuelCenter.com making sense of adolescence. presented by dr. cameron caswell
- 2. what you’ll learn tonight. • The secret behind your teen’s baffling behavior. • What your teen really wants (and needs) from you. • 2 biggest communication mistakes most parents make. • 4 tactics to turn power struggles into powerful connections www.theFuelCenter.com
- 3. what it means to be a teen. "We're so used to seeing adolescence as a problem. But the more we learn about what really makes this period unique, the more adolescence starts to seem like a highly functional, even adaptive period. It's exactly what you'd need to do the things you have to do then.” --B. J. Casey, adolescent neuroscientist www.theFuelCenter.com
- 4. 12HercuTeen labors 1. Prevail over puberty 2. Control their new cognitive powers 3. Forge a unique identity 4. Trail blaze the road to autonomy 5. Navigate precarious peer relationships 6. Conquer love, lust and sex 7. Carry more responsibilities 8. Master morality 9. Triumph in school, sports & other stuff 10. Strategize for the future 11. Shield their self-esteem from evil 12. Live up to their parents’ expectations www.theFuelCenter.com
- 5. the secret behind your teen’s baffling behavior is… the brain www.theFuelCenter.com
- 6. the blossoming brain. www.theFuelCenter.com
- 7. window of opportunity window of sensitivity www.theFuelCenter.com
- 9. use it or lose it. www.theFuelCenter.com
- 10. www.theFuelCenter.com why do teens do crazy s#%t?
- 11. back Prefrontal cortex Reason front Amygdala Emotion www.theFuelCenter.com
- 12. I don’t think that’s such a good idea. YES! www.theFuelCenter.com
- 13. www.theFuelCenter.com why are teens so emotional?
- 14. adult lens teen lens www.theFuelCenter.com
- 15. what is she feeling? www.theFuelCenter.com
- 16. www.theFuelCenter.com why are teens so embarrassed of us?
- 17. www.theFuelCenter.com because we’re embarrassing.
- 18. the embarrassment equation idealism + peer acceptance + spotlight effect _________________________ total embarrassment www.theFuelCenter.com
- 19. Guess what, cool people! Parents are supposed to be lame. That's so their kids have something to rebel against and be cool long enough to get married and have kids for whom they are lame. It's nature's way. – Homer Simpson www.theFuelCenter.com
- 20. Why are teens so argumentative? www.theFuelCenter.com
- 21. Because I said so. what would you do? www.theFuelCenter.com
- 22. 2biggest communication mistakes most parents make OR 2surefire ways NOT to be heard …ever www.theFuelCenter.com
- 24. The more you YELL the less teens listen (or anyone listens for that matter) www.theFuelCenter.com
- 26. The #1 reason teens don’t talk to their parents is because they “never shut up!” www.theFuelCenter.com
- 27. listen more. talk less. www.theFuelCenter.com
- 28. What do teens really want from us? 80% Listen to them 79% Be honest with them 73% Show up when you say you will 71% Remember things they say 68% Laugh at their jokes (or any joke for that matter) 39% Give them special privileges www.theFuelCenter.com
- 29. 4 tactics to turn power struggles into powerful connections www.theFuelCenter.com
- 31. how to listen like a pro. Lean in Identify emotions Seek understanding Test your understanding Empathize Neutralize your response UPlift www.theFuelCenter.com
- 32. www.theFuelCenter.com tactic 2keep calm.
- 33. 10 clever tricks to regain your cool quickly. 1. breathe, tense, release 2. roll your shoulders 3. squeeze something 4. strick up the air band 5. suck on a sweet 6. massage your scalp 7. repeat a mantra 8. lower your voice 9. scream SILENTLY 10. smile www.theFuelCenter.com
- 35. 6 steps to effective collaboration 1. define the why 2. share your whats 3. brainstorm some hows 4. agree on the how 5. plan for what if’s 6. write it all down www.theFuelCenter.com
- 36. www.theFuelCenter.com tactic 4don’t take the bait.
- 37. your teen will test you again and again. how often will you pass? www.theFuelCenter.com
- 38. key takeaways. • The #1 thing teens want (and need) their parents to do is LISTEN! • Adolescence provides a window of opportunity and sensitivity. • Many teen behaviors are due to uneven brain development. • 2 communication mistakes parents make: yelling & lecturing. • 4 tactics to improve communication: listen up keep calm collaborate don’t take the bait www.theFuelCenter.com
- 39. Fuel online family workshop. Yes! Teens and parents CAN get along. We’ll show you how. Learn more. www.theFuelCenter.com
Editor's Notes
- to survive, a young person must learn how to be a child, a student, an athlete, and a friend while also continuing the ever-lengthening process of determining who he or she is.
- University of Virginia studied arguments between 157 13-year-old kids and their parents. grades, chores, money and friends. how the parents reacted determined whether or not their kids became good arguers. some parents rolled their eyes, Others yelled back or simply stifled the discussion parents who listened to their teen's points and encouraged a calm discussion that stood out the most. at ages 15 and 16, teens who learned how to calmly discuss disagreements with their parents were more apt to confidently disagree with friends, particularly about alcohol or drugs. 40 percent more likely to say "no" than kids who didn't argue with their parents. Kids who were not taught how to argue -- less confident in their interactions with peers and were thus most likely to passively acquiesce when offered drugs or alcohol.
- In a report by the U.S. council of Economic Advisors, based on the latest research and presented at the May 2000 White House Conference on Teenagers: Raising Repsonsible and Resourceful Youth, teends rated "not having enough time together with their parents as one of their top problems. (p. 100)
- We’ve all heard the trick of counting to 10 to calm down. If that doesn’t work for you, here are a few other techniques to try. 1. Breath, tense release. Inhale through your nose for three seconds, tense every muscle in your body for 5-10 seconds, release every muscle as your exhale slowly through your mouth. 2. Relax your shoulders. Slowly roll your shoulders back three or four times, using as much range of motion as you can. Then, roll them forward. Repeat as often as you need. 3. Squeeze. Squeeze a stress ball, sponge, or other pliable object at least 50 times in a row. 4. Strike up the air band. Play air guitar/drums and sound effects. Finding distracting activities that are tactile and focused will help to calm you quickly. 5. Suck on a sweet. Hard candy (lifesaver, lollipop). Researchers from Australia and England found that in moments of stress, gum chewers felt less anxious and had 18 percent less cortisol (the stress hormone) in their saliva. "Chewing increases blood flow to the brain—which may make us feel more alert—and it may also distract us from stressors," says study coauthor Andrew Scholey, PhD, director of the Centre for Human Psychopharmacology at Swinburne University. 6. Massage your scalp. Take your fingers to your hairline and massage for several minutes.. Then run them through your scalp and all the way down your shoulders. Add positive visualization. 7.
- 1. Goal: what is the purpose of the rule you are trying to establish? Keep child safe? Teach child responsibility? Etc. 2. what’s the most important thing each of you are trying to achieve? Child: stay out with friends Parent: have child home at a reasonable hours so they aren’t up all night worrying. 3. Throw out all your ideas without judgment and write them down. 4. Review all the ideas and weed out the ones that are counter to what is important to each of you. This is when you’ll need to put negotiation and compromise. 5. What are the consequences if the rule is broken. 6. Get it in writing so everyone is on the same page.