Talk by Bill Kemp, editor of “Help! My Church is Leaving Me,” a guidebook for negotiating our changing UMC. This workshop is not designed to rehash the LGBTQ issue but to provide clergy and interested laity with a strategy for navigating the future with balance and integrity. Whether the recently proposed “Protocol of Reconciliation & Grace through Separation” is adopted or not, we are amid a time of transition. Healthy change leaders will focus on the following tasks: 1) Acceptance of Current Reality, 2) Clarification of Congregational Identity, 3) Adapting to Loss and New Leadership, 4) Adopting a Process for making tough Decisions, and 5) Discerning Future Ministry & Mission. Remaining a healthy, non-anxious, and self-differentiated church leader will be critical.

1. Leading with
Balance in a
Changing UMC
- Bill Kemp
- A Non-Anxious Guide to the Methodist Separation

2. You’re always
waving goodbye
to someone
The time has come to stop arguing the
issue
and to start navigating the transition

3. A Perfect Storm

4. A Perfect UMC Storm

5. Bishop James Osgood
Andrew
General
Conference 1845
1) Church rules ignored by a
Bishop
2) Individual Conscience is
Polarized
3) The conflict within the
church mirrors the
conflict outside in the
nation

6. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
• The General Conference
votes a fair separation
plan
• The WPA Conference
votes a to be on your side
• Everyone in your
congregation is okay with
the above
• You do not experience a
change in leadership

8. TRAUMA
Disorientation, Loss, Decisions,
changed Identity, and New
Relationships

9. Balance is not the same thing as
compromise

10. Healthy Leaders in Transition,
Lead with Balance
1) Learn new Skills
2) Intentionally Lead the 5
Developmental Tasks
3) Practice Self-Care

11. BECOME A
NON-
ANXIOUS
PRESENCE

12. NON-ANXIOUS PRESENCE
• Learn to Listen
• Accept Ambiguity
• Talk about what will Change &
what does not Change
• Avoid Simplistic Answers
• Never be Negative or
Judgmental

13. 5 DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS
1. Accept Current Reality
2. Clarify Identity (DNA)
3. Adapt to Loss and
Leadership Change
4. Adopt a Process for making
the tough Decisions
5. Discern Future Mission &
Ministry

14. STEP ONE: Accept Current
Reality

15. TRANSITION TIME

16. ENTERING TRANSITION
TIME: MAY 2020
EXITING TRANSITION:
MAY 2024???

17. THE WILDERNESS RULE:
The process for making a Decision is more
important than any one Decision

18. And you think
your transition
is crazy

19. • Before the trauma they were in balance
• Your leadership now must guide them towards
a new state of balance
• Everything is Interrelated

20. STEP TWO: Clarify Identity

21. How do you SEE your church?How do you SEE your church?

22. • Your congregation’s
identity (DNA) will
determine who it attracts as
members and leaders
• Saying that we are
Wesleyan, Methodist, or
Biblical, is not enough
• A Congregation’s identity
(DNA) far outlasts its
current pastor

23. You can’t
change our
DNABut you may
be able to
lead them
where they
need to go

24. DNA IS IN THE CARDS
Where is the leadership’s heart/passion?
• Spades: In preserving the
buildings and traditions of
the church
• Clubs: In bringing in the next
generation
• Hearts: Mission and Outreach
• Diamonds: Making the
worship and programs of the
church be the highest quality

25. STEP THREE: Adapt to loss
and leadership change
People
will
leave

26. DENIAL, ANGER,
BARGAINING, DEPRESSION,
& ACCEPTANCE
You can’t reason out of
someone something that
reason didn’t give them in
the first place.
- Jonathan Swift

27. “Now the people
complained about
their hardships…
We remember the
fish we ate in Egypt
at no cost—also the
cucumbers, melons,
leeks, onions and
garlic. ”
- Numbers 11:1&5
In the wilderness, leaders help people adjust to their loss

28. Those
who
must
leave
Who will
Traditionalist
s lose?

29. Those
who feel
cheated
Who will
Progressive
s lose?

30. The
Effected
Individual
Who will
Progressive
s lose?
Goodbye
Those Related
Those who Think Deeply

31. STEP FOUR: Adopt a Process for making the
tough Decisions
The Formula:
• Hilary has a budget and
a deadline to renovate
the old house
• David has a budget and
a wish-list to fulfill from
the current real-estate
listings
• The home-owners must
choose: Love It or List
It

32. REMEMBER THE WILDERNESS RULE &
Build confidence in your decision-making process
before deciding to change your relationship to the UMC

33. DISCERNMENT: Perception in the
absence of judgment with a view
to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding
There are only
3 ways to make a
decision:
• Authority
• Vote
• Discernment

34. STEP FIVE: Discern Future
Mission & Ministry
A good hockey
player plays
where the puck
is.
A great hockey
player plays
where the puck
is going to be.”
- Wayne Gretzky
“Only an
idiot
would
chase
what used
to be...

35. THREE QUESTIONS:
1) Who can be a
disciple of Jesus
Christ?
2) What relationships
will we bless?
3) How will this
Church transform
society?

36. Here and now,
we are children
of God.
What we will be
has not yet been
made known.
But we know
that when Christ
appears, we shall
be made like
him...
(I JOHN 3:2 )

37. • Always practice self-
care
• Expect Leadership
Change & Dislocation
• Be Intentional &
Transparent
• Remember that you
are only responsible
for the next step
MY ADVICE:

38. BILL’S ETHICS:
1) Always be
compassionate
2) Awareness beats
Ignorance
3) Never let your ends
determine your means.
(process first)

39. BILL’S BOOKS AVAILABLE AT:
www.notperfectyet.com
Coming
Soon