An off-the-wall interpretation of Star Trek Insurrection... a movie that I enjoyed on many different levels. Switch to full screen in order to read text more easily.

3. Oops, Mixed Up Delights The Accidental Breakfast Cereal The only cereal endorsed by Patrick Stewart that’s crunchy, chewy, flaky, sweet, fruity, chocolaty, nutty, crispy, and wholesome with raisins, crunch berries and a touch of honey and brown sugar. Jam Packed With Loads of Vitamins And Flavor That You Need.

4. Riker : Don’t forget Captain, these are the Hiraydinn peoples of Mugwump 5. You are to greet them by first slightly bowing your head while stretching your arms forward palms up as a gesture of solidarity. The Hiraydinn chancellor will then approach you and rub its feelers on your head in reception of your greeting. The chancellor’s assistant will then hand you a cloth to wipe off the feeler mucus. Picard : Dear God I hate this part of the job.

5. Picard : You must be the victims of that Enterprise C school shuttle disaster. It looks like you children were much more badly burned than had been reported.

6. Despite being a box office disappointment, Star Trek Insurrection found its audience on home video. Unfortunately, this visual gag did not.

7. Troi : What do you think of the festivities so far? Riker : A bit of a downer if you ask me… and you have. Just say the word and I can improve the proceedings with a few bottles of Romulan Ale… Well? Troi : Well What? Riker : Shall I fetch the bottles? Troi : I should think not. Riker : You spoilsport. Why not? Troi : This dinner has a measure of diplomatic importance, and besides, Romulan Ale is highly illegal. Riker : Where’s your sense of fun. You know Troi, sometimes I think the cancer took more than just your left kidney.

8. Now that’s more like it. The new skin finally seems to be establishing itself. It’s starting to feel more like the skin I was born in and less like I’m wearing a jellyfish that’s attacking my face 24 hours a day.

9. Worf : Captain, I must admit that I went over your head and disobeyed direct orders. Picard : And may I ask what orders you are referring to? Worf : Remember the furry little companions we found on the eighth moon of Beldar. Picard : Yes, I remember giving strict orders that they should not be brought on board. Worf : I kind of smuggled some onto the ship and now they sort of….. Picard : Yes Worf, continue. Worf : They’ve multiplied sir. Picard : Would you suggest abandoning ship? Worf : I think that would be best.

10. Inner monologue : So hot in here. Why is it so hot on the bridge? Need to get the AC fixed. I am positively moist in this heavy pullover. That high pitched pinging noise again… I thought I told them to lower the tone. Another whiff of mentholated cough drops… Where is that coming from?! Too much nonsense around here! Now I’m itchy, aahhhhhhh! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Geordi : Are you feeling all right, Captain? Picard : Mind your console, blacktop!

11. Riker : Look what I made on my Amiga 4000… I made a picture out of punctuations. That there is a monkey and it’s trying to eat those brackets. It wants to eat them because they’re bananas.

12. Geordi : Captain, he’s targeting our main turbo thrusters. I suggest we try that maneuver you originated on Altair 5. Picard : You’ll have to refresh my memory, Geordi. Geordi : The exchange, sir. Picard : Understood, Lieutenant. Crewman Robuck, your life has been traded for the temporary safety of this vessel. Pack up your belongings and head to the transporter room. As a token of our gratitude for your faithful service, you may take some complimentary toiletries from the gift shop.

13. Patrick : Great, another planet that closely resembles southern California. I hear we’re actually filming on property that was once a part of Skywalker Ranch. Marina : Even these aliens look like humans… talk about unimaginative. Gates : This is the set? I can see a 7-11 and a subdivision in the background. Patrick : They’ll take care of it all in post-production I suppose. Gates : Our fans like to talk about the odd-numbered Trek films being the worst… well I’m starting to believe it myself. Patrick : Here comes Frakes. Looks like he got lunch at the Hungry Burger.

14. They tried to make more Star Trek films without William Shatner, but one way or another he always found ways to sneak into each movie. “Picard…you…..are….not welcome…on….our planet.”

29. We here at the Pond’s Institute promise you the consumer that animals are never used to test our beauty products. You can be confident to know that before any of our products reach the shelves of your local stores, they are first extensively tested on Frank. For over twenty years, he has had the privilege of being the first to try each and every one of our products. He’s shared in our successes and our many many bitter failures. Of course he’s paid a handsome sum of money for his services… handsome being a compliment he doesn’t often hear these days. So before you apply that coat of cleanser to your face, salute Frank for his valiant efforts to keep you looking good at his own expense.

38. Anij : Over the years, we’ve taken in refugees from all over the galaxy. The Senyei of Dunruvis, The Fleem, Plorch Nebula Banderkites, Khanamanian renegades from Seti Alpha 5. Picard : Seti Alpha 5? I’ve heard that name before. Oh No!... Oooh No!... It can’t be! Khan : Hands up, Captain. You are quite outmatched by my superior forces and my unsurpassable intellect. I wish to commandeer your ship and crew, and to have my revenge on Ah-mee-ral James T. Kirk.

43. Gallatin Inner Monologue : Pathetic human being. He is conflicted by his desire to please our master Ru’afo and learn the secrets of our facial perfection. Silly human. He pretends to be our comrade, and yet his only want is to get his greed-covered hands on our secret skin-stretching device. Pitiful human. He has the conniving So’na spirit but is let down by the facial imperfections that make him human. He’s probably trying to think of ways to duplicate our stretching technology at this very moment. Deplorable human creature.