SHOWCASE Magazine featuring the PROGRESSIVE Black Woman excelling in their perspective fields, it is such an awesome opporunity in being able to showcase some of the top Business Women and so much more.. SHOWCASE Magazine...... opportunity to learn, be empowered, be inspired at your own pace.
4. 4 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
6 Stylist & Fashion Designer................ Tawni Haynes
10 Sweet Nature ................................. Eddie Simpson
14 Theophani Style.............................. Tifini Lewis
24 ABH Projects ................................. Akissi Brooks-Hill
27 Healthy Eating................................ Author Sharon Fox
12 WELLNESS: Healthier Happy New Year ...... Delayna Keller-Watkins
22 Poetry Corner: The Crush ..................... Melisha Anderson-Ruiz
29 Relationship Status ............................. Denyce Gartrell
Cover Feature
Sisters' Sanctuary LLC. Lacey C. Clark....18
5. 5 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
MAGAZINE FOCUS:
Celebrating Progressive Black Women
Featured Women Business Owners
SHOWCASE Magazine will focus solely on these six powerful women with their own individual mis-
sion (fashion, beauty, community, wellness, healthy eating) and much more. I hope you are inspired in
doing the work gifted especially for YOU… Denise Bethune/Publisher
Featured Authors (Inspire & Empower)
SCMzine76@outlook.com
18 6 10
14 24 27
6. 6 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
My goal is to restore class and ele-
gance to the fashion industry! Sleek,
straight lines, bold prints, and elegant,
form-fitted designs are just a few
ways to characterize the unique tech-
nique of stylist and fashion designer,
Tawni Haynes. Tawni is well known
around DFW as an up and coming
fashion forward retailer and custom
apparel artist with a vivid sense of
classy sophistication far beyond her 30 years of age. What originally
began as a love for the trendiest ladies shoes, handbags, and accesso-
ries has blossomed almost overnight into a full-scale fashion design
business.
Tawni is joint owner and operator of ICONYQ Apparel Boutique,
located in Cedar Hill, Texas. What appears from the outside as a local,
run of the mill establishment on the historic city square, sets itself apart
as soon as you peer through the front doors as the ever-changing, win-
dow displays featuring her custom creations. Tawni takes pride in
transforming hundreds of clients from ordinary to runway ready for
events ranging from a Sunday church service to national television
appearances. She is especially recognized for her gift of making any
woman look and feel absolutely stunning, regardless of body shape or
size.
“My clients are real women with curves and it’s important that every
garment I design and sell make them feel like the most beautiful
woman in the room- whether they are a size 8 or 18.” “The differ-
ence you will find in one of my hand-crafted garments is meticulous
effort and an end product that suits each client’s body type.”
The Fall/Winter line, which debuts this June, is said to display the very
essence of Tawni’s signature style, featuring inimitable concepts and
fabrication. As Tawni continues to advance her career in the Fashion
Design industry, she continues to set the latest in industry trends and
construction methods to guarantee that her product and service offer-
ings are leading edge and remarkably chic.
.
It’s not about supplication, it’s about power. It’s not about asking, it’s
about demanding. It’s not about convincing those who are currently in
power, it’s about changing the very face of power itself. -
Kimberle Williams Crenshaw
Fashion Designer & Owner of Iconyq Apparel Boutique Cedar Hill, Texas
9. 9 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
From the first, I made my learning, what little it was, useful every way I could. - Mary McLeod Bethune
10. 10 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
* Did you know your shampoo and conditioner can literally
make or break your hair, especially if they contain Sodium
Lauryl Sulphate (SLS) or Sodium Laureth Sulphate
(SLES), which can strip the hair, causing it to be dry and
brittle and eventually break-off.
* These harsh ingredients are detergents used in floor
cleaning products, are found in engines and are used in
laboratories as skin irritants in order to test soothing prod-
ucts. Several studies have underlined the harmful effects
of their use: urinary infections, kidney and bladder infec-
tions, fertility problems, irritation to the eyes, skin and
scalp, allergic reactions, lesions of the scalp and hair loss.
Certain studies have asserted that SLS and SLES are car-
cinogenic.
There are many shampoos on the market that have re-
moved sulfates, but don't provide sufficient moisture to al-
low the hair to feel clean yet hydrated. Sweet Nature by
Eddie's "Inspiration" moisturizing shampoo AND "Love" silk
amino protein and peppermint infused conditioner contains
a mixture of oils and raw honey that leaves the hair feeling
soft and moisturized, giving your hair a hydration boost.
When your hair starts off moisturized, you don't need to
use as much product on your hair!
* Sweet Nature is made with moisturizing butters, natural
carrier oils, and herbs that have been proven to treat psori-
asis, alopecia, acute dermatitis, and dandruff, as well as
block DHT and nourish the scalp, promoting stronger, long-
er, healthier hair.
GIVING you the hair
you have always
dreamed of! **For
relaxed and natural
Hair** Sweet Nature
by Eddie Healthy hair
care products are
made with the finest
African Butters, Natu-
ral Oils, and Herbs
that will give your hair
the nourish ment,
moisture, and protein
it needs to flourish beyond your wildest dreams. Your nat-
ural hair will be more manageable and soft and your re-
laxed hair will be stronger and shiny.
Sweet Nature by Eddie Healthy hair care products are made with
the finest African Butters, Natural Oils, and Herbs that will give
your hair the nourishment, moisture, and protein it needs to
flourish beyond your wildest dreams.
Sweet Nature is made with moisturizing butters, natural carrier
oils, and herbs that have been proven to treat psoriasis, alopecia,
acute dermatitis, and dandruff, as well as block DHT and nourish
the scalp, promoting stronger, longer, healthier hair. Giving you
the hair you have always dreamed of!
**For relaxed and natural Hair**
Natural hair care products formulated to aid in growth for Afri-
can American Hair!
Best Shampoo & Conditioner Treatment For Healthier Hair
12. 12 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Each year people around the world resolve
to take better care of their health. They often
make blanket statements like “this year I
resolve to eat better.” Unfortunately, such
broad resolutions are difficult to keep.
They’re not specific enough to follow
through on. Instead of making resolutions
without a SOLID plan, focus on specific
lifestyle changes that will support the goal.
Here are just 7 changes you could implement
this week:
#1 Stop drinking soda and sugary
drinks
So many people around the world drink their
calories. This sugar is hard on your health. It
adds unnecessary weight and it affects blood
sugar levels. Resolve to eliminate soda and
sugary drinks from your diet. You may elim-
inate several hundred calories a day from
this simple adjustment.
#2 Eat fruits and vegetables with
every meal and snack
If you add a fruit or a vegetable to every
meal and snack, you’re much closer to meet-
ing your daily requirement. It’s not as diffi-
cult as you might think. You can have fruits
or veggies for your snacks. Add an apple or
berries to your breakfast. A smoothie can
have as many as three servings of fruit or
vegetables. Add greens to lunch and dinner
and you’re well on your way to getting the
nutrients your body needs each day.
#3 Try a new fruit or vegetable each month
Scientists have found that people who eat a
variety of fruits and vegetables are healthier.
Many people become stuck in a rut with
their fruits and vegetables. When you add a
new one to your diet each month, you’re
broadening your nutritional horizons.
#4 Switch to whole grain bread
Swap your white bread for whole grain
bread. This is an easy change to make and
it’ll add more healthy whole grains to your
diet. You can amplify this whole grain
change and switch to steel cut oats and
brown rice instead of instant oatmeal and
white rice. Small changes make a big differ-
ence.
#5 Eat fewer sweets
If you’re like many people you probably
have several sugary snacks each day. Re-
solve to cut back. That may begin by track-
ing how many snacks you normally eat each
day. Cut back to one snack each day or one
sugary snack each week.
#6 Drink a glass of green tea each day
Green tea has been shown to provide fantas-
tic health benefits. Add a glass of green tea
to your day. Drink it in the morning or have
a glass in the afternoon. If you’re sensitive to
caffeine then don’t drink it in the evening.
Green tea does have a small amount of caf-
feine.
#7 Stop eating in the evenings
People often make poor eating decisions in
the evening. Drink a glass of water. Find
something interesting to do to distract your-
self. If you must eat due to hunger, then eat
something high in fiber like a banana or
whole grain cereal.
As you’re looking forward to your New
Year and contemplating living a healthier
lifestyle, be specific. Help yourself achieve
success by setting specific goals designed
with a plan to help you lose weight and get
healthier.
Healthier Happy New Year
Delayna Keller-Watkins
Registered Nurse/Wellness Educator
Delayna Keller-Watkins is a
global and award winning Reg-
istered Nurse and Certified
Wellness Coach in the areas of
self-care and personal wellness.
For over 2 decades Delayna has
been serving wellness seeking
women and young girls
through her seminars, products
and programs. She is an author,
motivational speaker, and
founder of Delayna Keller Wat-
kins, Inc. and Healthy Soul,
LLC a lifestyle company de-
signed to help women achieve
optimal health and wellness
through the integration of mind,
body and spirit. Since pursuing
her passion, she has been fea-
tured in the Women’s Journal
Magazine and appeared as a
Women’s Self-Care expert on
several Internet Radio Shows
and Local Public Television.
Delayna has provided seminars
or presentations for companies
such as Kinetic Concepts, Inc.
(KCI), Dimensions Healthcare,
Sisters4Sisters, Inc., Prince
Georges County Public Schools,
Kennedy Foundation, Inc., Sis-
ters Network, Akoma Project,
Blue Cross and Blue Shield,
Georgetown University, and
others.
13. 13 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
15 yrs ago, my world was shattered in a
way that I couldn’t ever image. When
something happens to you that causes
you to breakdown and cry until you can’t
even take another breath….it’s very trau-
matizing. It’s seemed like I totally lost
myself in an out of body, out on mind
kind of experience. I panicked, but quick-
ly took action with everything that I had.
Franticly, I approached every avenue
and available resource that I had, to no
avail. Each reply, be it via face to face,
telephone or mailed correspondences
were all to me simply ….. REJECTIONS.
That was back in 1996. I quickly redi-
rected my energies and focused as I’ve
always done, on my children any my
mini empire. Having to live under the
radar was not new to me, just very differ-
ent this time. So again, I put back on my
happy face and continued to live my life
and enjoy. I was loving, educating, work-
ing, building and fighting every step of
the way. Cruise control was set on auto-
matic and high impact and I felt like a
force to be reckoned with. Developing
systems for me and mine and sticking
with it was a piece of cake until October
2010………I can assure you this, the
third time around is not always a charm!
My story will take not most of you, but
ALL of you by surprise……for it surely
did me AGAIN
I always wanted to be somebody. If I made it, it’s half
because I was game enough to take a lot of punishment
along the way and half because there were a lot of
people who cared enough to help me.” - Althea Gibson
I AM THE ANCESTOR: BEFORE I DIE..I MUST SHARE MY STORY
Searching for her Legacy..S. Monique Smith
2X WNBA Champion
“You Will Win If You Don’t Quit”
Is a step-by-step guide that
teaches readers how to map
out a plan for achieving their
dreams and empowers them to
overcome any obstacle in the
process. This single mother of
four shares her powerful story
of inspiration and encourage-
ment. It is a must read for
anyone who has big dreams
and even bigger outcomes to
overcome..
14. 14 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Honestly, I really avoid corny and cli-
ché. I don’t like jumping on the fancy
slogan bandwagon that fly around these
times of the seasons. I just want to con-
centrate on truth, and integrity because,
it’s just supposed to be. I am not filling
my social media pages with repeats of
the same thing being said in different
ways. It’s a new year for goodness
sake, so I really want to be new. Nope,
no resolutions, no promises to myself
and others that I will fulfill something
astronomically hard to obtain. I worked
very hard last year on loosing myself
from associations that didn’t add to my
life positively. I actually struggled like a
dog if I may be honest. Working on the
TheophaniStyle brand, maintaining my
home and my family, showing up when
I felt I didn’t have anything to offer to
opportunities that presented themselves.
I dodged bullets of hatred and antago-
nism. Many times I wanted to cower,
and hide. I mean, all I wanted to do was
make a little difference in the world, one
color and one curl at a time. Not sure
why it had to be so hard.
Beauty Expert Fashion Expert Art & Culture Blogger
Goodness It’s a New Year
Tifini Lewis
16. 16 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Q: IN LIFE THERE ARE QUOTES AND OR
WRITTEN WISDOM FROM ONE SOURCE OR
AN OTHER., TIFINI HOW ARE YOU IN-
SPIRED?
A: "Being confident of
this very thing, that he
which hath begun a
good work in you will
perform it until the day
of Jesus
Christ:" (Philippians
1:6) Often throughout
my life, when pressed
with hardships, failures and disappointments,
this was the one quote that ALWAYS let me
know that none of those things counted me
out of anything, because a good work not
only has begun in me, but the good work will
come to fruition and be completed. What a
promise, and I daily choose to believe it in
every circumstance:)
"Do it afraid", which is my own quote. My
oldest son used to be afraid to go in the base-
ment of my house. He needed to get some-
thing out of the basement that was important
to him, but he was paralyzed with fear. I told
him that being afraid wasn't the problem, it's
a natural emotion. but letting the fear stop
him from getting what belongs to him. I too,
have experienced fear in the face of the un-
known, and having to obtain something that
was rightfully mine. I chose to pursue my
dreams and passions without having any clue
as to what it entailed. I chose discomfort of
challenging myself towards something new,
rather than staying complacent with the fa-
miliar. You are featuring me know because I
"did it afraid". Look at all the things that
came along with the little gently nudge from
the inside and outside telling me to do it re-
gardless to what I felt:) Tifini Lewis
Q: MESSAGE TO ALL YOUNG LADIES! YOU MAT-
TER! YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE IM-
PORTANT! YOU ARE SOMEBODY! YOU ARE
THE FUTURE!
A: Don't allow
yourself to be lim-
ited by anyone's
labels! Do not
compare your-
selves to the wom-
en on TV, maga-
zines or models on
the runway and
tear yourselves
down. Do not idol-
ize women on
reality TV shows and start believing you lack
beauty because you don't have the television
fame. None of them have perfect lives. Take
Evelyn Lozada from Basketball Wives for
example, very pretty woman. Nice clothes,
shoes and all of the above. Yet, she too expe-
rienced a downfall with love.
Do not think just because you are not attrac-
tive to the “lil Wayne's” of your age group
that you are missing out. Even Lil Wayne got
one of the prettiest girls on TV “Lauryn Lon-
don” pregnant the same time he had R&B
singer “Nivea” pregnant. Lets not forget
about the situation with Chris Brown and
Rhiana, she too another very beautiful and
talented young woman experienced a bad
situation with love. The moral of this mes-
sage is NOT to down talk any of them but to
UPLIFT each of you young ladies, while
helping you realize NO one is exempt from
growing pains! It is all part of experience,
which allows us to make things right when
they are wrong and easy when they are hard!
BE the BEST BEAUTIFUL YOU and love
yourself for who you are! How you look,
what your talents are and what you are capa-
ble of! BE YOU! Get to know who you are!
Get to understand who you are! Accept who
you are and LOVE who you are! Do this and
you will never allow yourself to be limited by
anyones labels because you will know that
you are so much more Akissi Brooks-Hill
Q: What ONE thing would I say should
push a woman out there to launch/start
her own business?
A: PASSION!
When you truly
have a passion for
what you do, that
alone should give
you the faith to
jump out there.
When people "love"
what they do, they
still get nervous about taking it to the next
level. But when there is a true passion for
it...nothing can stop them!! I say find your
true passion and take it from there. Author
Sharon Fox
WOMEN 2 WOMEN: Her Message
18. 18 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
"If you be-
lieve with in
your heart
you'll know,
that no one
can change
the path that
you must
go... Believe
in yourself
right from
the start,
you'll have
courage and
you'll have a
heart...."
“Believe in
yourself but
go where you
are celebrat-
ed not just
tolerated.
Find people
who will sup-
port you and
want to see
you succeed
and do well.
Focus on
your celebra-
tors and not
your haters.”
22. 22 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
oetry Corner Melisha Anderson-Ruiz The Crush
About an age of outlandish flights of fancy Rag dolls and
building blocks Sweet tea and blackberry jam Unkempt hair
and denim overalls Indian summer nostalgia quickly pul-
sates through my mind I remember your smell as clear as
crackling embers and burning oak wood
Here I, a childish schoolgirl in love with a man’s man, some
wife’s man, Hiding deep in reed grasses watching you cool
your body in the still pond I imagined things never before
seen by my virgin eyes, yet I craved you While holding
tightly to my redheaded pale-faced doll
It seemed your glittering eyes urged me to leave these child-
ish things behind It seemed as if your lips moved to utter my
name As I drew closer to you I clearly heard your breath in
sync with pond tapping mosquitoes Drawn to submerge my
adolescent body into the water Sending small waves
………………………….
crashing around your naval, I waded…...Waiting for you
to say how you’ve longed for me so or how you’ve
dreamed of the Moment when you could touch me and I
could touch you
But that hour seemed never to come That hour seemed so
very long while you stared into my wanting heart careful
not to Reveal your disappointment with my plain face,
unkempt hair, flat chest and narrow Behind Embarrassed, I
wished I could call for my innocence to rescue me But she
lay silent and dead next to my redheaded pale-faced doll in
the reedgrasses
The sun no longer in my eyes and yours having lost that
wonderful glitter Somehow I knew tomorrow’s tea tasted
bitter, momma’s blackberry jam spoiled Building blocks
would tumble and my fancy would no longer be thoughts
of you nor Would I need the hand of that damn rag doll
P
Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the
human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for
greatness lives within each of us. Wilma Rudolph
NEW ARTIST: Brittanie Thomas
Brittanie’s debut single, “I Need You” was released in
October 2012. Expect a new single release on January
31, 2013 entitled "Better." Her debut album entitled
“Two Chords and a Pen” is set to be released in the win-
ter of 2013. You will be sure to hear music infused with
the sounds of neo-soul, gospel, rhythm and blues, and
many other popular genres. While it may not always be
an easy task to frame the artist to one particular genre, what does remain
consistent through each melody is the honesty, passion, and love for
world music, and people alike.
23. 23 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
This book is designed to
encourage and motivate any-
one who has gone through
stressful times in life and
found that inner strength to
endure. This book will give
you a glimpse of my person-
al struggles, the enormous
amount of stress I was under,
and the techniques I used to
effectively manage my
stress. This book will assist
you in effectively identifying
signs of stress as well as the
effects stress can have on
your body. This book will
teach you how to effectively
manage your stress by giving
you warning signs, practical
suggestions, self-assessment/
quizzes, and relaxation tech-
niques to perform in an effort
to reduce, relieve, and/or
eliminate harmful stress that
can lead to serious health
problems. After reading this
book you will be able to
identify 10 ways to add 10
years to your life through
effective stress management.
You will be able to journal
how you are able to imple-
ment each step into your
personal life and/or docu-
ment ways you can improve
in each area.
The Crash
Chere Cofield
CREDIT SENSE
Q: Does my budget make sense?
A: If your budget does not make sense, your credit issue is be-
ing impacted by your financial loss. You must deal with this first
before effective credit counseling can begin.
Tara Colquitt, The Credit Woman. I will assist you
in learning to manage your credit, money and debt to
create opportunities in real estate, job creation/
retention and overall financial health. I have actively
assisted clients in credit counseling, money manage-
ment, debt elimination and negotiations. In other cases,
I have assisted small business owners who have
“mixed credit scores” that interfere with their ability to
secure business contracts. I have a proven
track record of helping others improve
their credit scores and I educate and men-
tor clients with diverse circumstances
about using credit properly to gain access
to wealth.
24. 24 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Akissi Brooks-Hill is an ambi-
tious 24 year old young woman who
loves to motivate and encourage youth
to strive for excellence. She has a pas-
sion for giving back to the community
through public service and loves en-
couraging and assisting the young ladies
of today become successful women of
tomorrow! By interacting with young
ladies, her goal is to Inspire them to
become leaders who will inspire others.
Akissi and her two younger brothers
were raised by her mother, a single par-
ent who instilled in them the importance
of education at an early age; leading
Akissi, a first generation college gradu-
ate, to become the first on both sides of
her family to attend graduate school.
Fall of 2007; Akissi graduated
Cum Laude from Philander Smith Col-
lege, with a Bachelors degree in Busi-
ness Administration, concentrating in
Accounting. Before graduating, she was
initiated into the Gamma Gamma Chap-
ter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.
Summer 2009; Akissi received her Mas-
ters degree from the University of Phoe-
nix and is employed with the Arkansas
State Government. As for her communi-
ty involvement and passion for commu-
nity service, Akissi started a Non-
Profit organization-ABH Projects,
where she promotes her "BE Smart! BE
Safe! BE Responsible!" platform offer-
ing scholarships for high school seniors,
Annual Teen Conferences for young
ladies. May 1, 2010 was proclaimed as
"BE Smart! BE Safe! BE Responsible!"
awareness day by Governor Beebe and
started the "First Annual Arkansas Sin-
gle Parent Proclamation Luncheon"
which Governor Beebe proclaimed as
March 20, 2010. Akissi is also a partici-
pant in the Arkansas AIDS Foundation,
Women on the Move for Prevention
program as a Certified Basic HIV Edu-
cator and has served as a panelist for a
few events such as the African Wom-
en’s Health Project International "Youth
Walk for Africa Press Conference" and
the Simones Home Inc: "Girls Circle in
the Rock! Empowerment Conference
2010"
Akissi lives in Little Rock, Ar-
kansas with her husband Tony and their
three year old son T.J! She is very fami-
ly oriented and loves spending time
with all of her family.
Akissi's words of wisdom are
"Sometimes you have to go through
things in life to make things RIGHT
when they are WRONG and EASY
when they are HARD." She lives by
this faithfully because no matter what
she has been through, there has always
been a “Blessing in every Lesson!”
Akissi was named Mrs. Arkansas
U.S 2010 and is using her crown to em-
brace and encourage all young ladies
within her reach to BE Smart! BE Safe!
BE Responsible
Sometimes you have to go through things in
life to make things RIGHT when they are
WRONG and EASY when they are HARD! I
live by this quote faithfully because no mat-
ter what I have been through there has al-
ways been a blessing in every lesson!!
Akissi Brooks-Hill Mrs. Arkansas U.S. 2010
Using her crown to embrace and encourage young ladies ABH Projects
Dream House Boutique specialize in
celebrity fashions for less offering a
variety of apparel, jewelry, footwear
and accessories. DHB's goal is to be
the fashion destination to women of
all demographics who wish to be in
tuned with the hottest trends at an
affordable cost. I take pride in high
quality products and superior cus-
tomer satisfaction.
26. 26 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Q: You are inspired by someone special I
can tell, who may this be?
A: I think the thing that inspires me most is my chil-
dren. They genuinely believe that they can accomplish
anything. When I listen to them confidently speaking
about all the things they are going to do when they grow
up, it reminds me that I can do anything I want as well.
Their dreams are so huge and their belief is so strong that
I am totally convinced, without a shadow of a doubt, that
they will far exceed their wildest dreams, and that in-
spires me to always follow mine! My advice: Get to
know yourself; have clarity of who you truly are. Be very
clear of your core values and beliefs. Know what’s im-
portant to you, what you can tolerate,
what drives you, what moves you,
your passions. People that know them-
selves tend to have confidence in their
decisions; they trust their instincts.
Confident people understand their
strengths and know how to handle
their weaknesses in a positive way.
Only after you know your true self can
you accept who you are and then begin to love and take
pride in who you are. When you have confidence, your
faith is strengthened, your attitude is positive, and doubt
is generally banished from your psyche.
Eddie Simpson
WOMEN 2 WOMEN: Her Message
“Deal with yourself as an individual worthy of
respect, and make everyone else deal with
you the same way. ” – Nikki Giovanni
27. 27 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Mind, Body & Soul Author Sharon Fox under
stands the importance of feeding the spirit from the
inside. Her love for flavor is more than a culinary
experience, it’s apart of new lifestyle experience.
How does a cookbook fit into my purpose? Well,
everyone has to eat. Everyone has to eventually
COOK! God has blessed me with this passion for food
and cooking. Food is something that can destroy all
barriers...race, creed, sex, age, etc. It is the one thing
we all have in common, so my gift for cooking is an
International gift! It's a way to break the ice and get
into the hearts of people. It's my way of inviting you
all to the table for dinner and conversation!
In my lifetime, I've endured many painful events.
I can relate to the pain of domestic violence, drug and
alcohol abuse by family members, child molestation
and rape, emotional abuse, death of the only people I
ever trusted, divorce, being stripped of my dreams and
goals, living as a single parent, living on disability,
having nothing and no one to turn to… But through it
all, I had... (and still have) my faith in God. I had to
inspire MYSELF and never gave up on the dreams I
have.
I have worked diligently everyday to write these
cookbooks which also contains many testimonies and
inspirational words to help others find their inner
strength. We all have something inside to help us get
over the pain and obstacles in our lives. Sometimes
we just need a little push or inspiration to get us to
recognize it...and use it. That's my reason for living.
My purpose in this life is to encourage and inspire
God's precious people to keep their faith. If I never
had to cry, I'd never appreciate the joy of laughter. If I
was never hurt, I could never open myself to comfort
others.
I know there are so many people who have gone
through worse events in their lives than I have. I just
feel that MY purpose is to use my story to touch as
many people as I can, and to let them know that their
faith can bring them out of any situation.
Comfort Food for the Mind, Body & Soul
Author Sharon Fox
Food Editor for P.E.A.S Magazine,
Tru Magazine and Latino Connection
Magazine, also named The Official
Culinary Artist of the Social Networks
29. 29 SCMzine SHOWCASE Magazine Premiere Edition
Recently, I did a radio show entitled, “Are You Ready to be a Wife”?
Since then, many of you sent emails to me, asking how to know if
you are ready to be a wife, or are ready for love. Here’s my list of
Top 12 questions you should ask yourself to determine if you're
ready for a relationship. And, may I add, these points apply to men
also. So, grab a pen and paper, find a quiet spot, and answer them
as honestly as you can. Remember, you’re the only person reading
your responses, and your first answer is usually the most accurate.
Therefore, don’t try to convince yourself otherwise. Being honest
with yourself is the only way to know if you’re ready; or, to improve
some things, if you’re not.
1. Are you still emotionally attached, or in love with your ex?
2. Are you still carrying feelings of bitterness or anger against
an ex?
3. Are you looking for the next person to help you forget
about the last person?
4. Do you dislike who YOU are as a person?
5. Do you feel empty, lonely, desperate and totally miserable
because you don’t have someone else in your life?
6. Do you feel that you don’t deserve to have a good mate in
your life?
7. Do you feel that no one would want to be in a relationship
with you?
8. Do you shy away from relationships or meeting people
because you don’t feel that you would be of value to anyone
right now?
9. Do you find it almost impossible to feel any emotion, or
feel that relationships only lead to hurt and pain?
10. Do you see all members of the opposite sex in a negative
light?
11. Do you have ANY addictions that need to be dealt with?
12. Does it seem as if there is a neon light on your forehead
that keeps attracting the wrong types of dates?
If you answered “YES” to even one of these questions, you’re not
ready to become a mate, or to be in an intimate relationship with
anyone. Either you haven’t recovered sufficiently from a previous
relationship, or your self-esteem is so low that you can’t possibly love
another person because you have yet to learn how to love yourself.
Many people go from relationship to relationship, looking for another
person to cover up, or fill the emptiness and/or pain that is inside
their heart. And, because they are not emotionally healthy or availa-
ble, this is exactly the WRONG time to go into a relationship. Howev-
er, just because you're not ready, doesn't mean that you can't be-
come ready with the proper tools.
There are times in our lives when we are ready to be with someone
else, and times when we need to be with someone else, and times
when we need to be alone. You may need to take a “Relationship
Fast” and take the time to heal, to evaluate, to find your mistakes, to
improve yourself, and to devise a new plan and outlook on relation-
ships. This is critical, so that you won’t feel so dependent on some-
one else to BRING you happiness, but can already BE happy when
the right person arrives. REPAIR & PREPARE...and you’ll be less likely
to repeat the same choices or mistakes. Keep in mind that, "fasting"
requires discipline, but in the end, the results are greater than the
sacrifice. You'll realize that what you thought was important, really
wasn't essential to your survival. You just gave it more value than it
deserved, that's all. Conversely, for those of you that answered “NO”
to every question, it sounds as if there’s a strong possibility that
you’re ready for love! However, be cautious and make sure that the
person you meet also exemplifies similar qualities as those stated
above.
In other words, can they also answer, “NO” to the same questions?
You don’t have to interrogate someone like an FBI agent, as soon as
you meet them, but do pay attention to red flags, and don't be afraid
to ask some questions about their past experiences, and their future
goals. (Perhaps, I'll write about appropriate questions in another
blog). And certainly, if you find that they may be someone of interest
for the long haul, then you’ll want to observe, ask deeper questions,
and listen closely to their responses. AND, DON’T IGNORE THE AN-
SWERS, ORBRUSH THEM OVER JUST BECAUSE YOU DESIRE TO BE
LOVED! Again, that would be trying to fill an empty space & you
answered, “NO” to that one, right?
Denyce Gartrell is a both a national and interna-
tionally known Relationship Strategist, Leadership
Consultant, Speaker and Radio Personality. For
more information on her services or to become
"Relationship Ready" contact her at:
www.facebook.com/GLCCS"
Questions to Determine If You're Ready for a Relationship
Denyce Gartrell, Life Empowerment & Relationship Strategist
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