1. Shinjini Bakshi
Crim 423
Interview Assignment
Although my interviewee (whom I will refer to as M) is, as of recently, officially, recognized
as an eighteen-year-old “adult,” M’s life has been drastically altered by years of tragic sexual
violence, forcing her to grow up way too fast. M’s story is unlike any I have heard before. M had
been born into a family of abuse. Her mother, after years of emotional/physical spousal abuse and
several suicide attempts, found the courage to leave her husband. M’s story begins at the tender age
of seven, when her mother, finally, remarried. At the age of nine, M’s step-dad began beating her
because she allegedly she did things “wrong.” Then, the touching and forcing of her to perform
sexual acts began, shortly after. When she was in fifth grade, ten years old, her step-dad statutorily
raped her for the first time, thereafter, raping her almost every school day, sometimes, multiple times
a day. All of the attacks took place in her home. When she was younger, the abuser would tell her it
was “their secret,” and threatened to hurt her brother, if M told anyone. Although M took on the
burden of keeping the “secret” to herself, at the age of thirteen, she told her mom about the physical
abuse and got a restraining order, forcing the step-dad out of the house. Despite the formal order of
protection, M’s abuser came back when she was home alone, ripping up the document, proceeding to
rape and beat her severely. After a particular beating, M was sent to the hospital because of the
injuries. She suffered bruises on her face, eyes, abdomen, hips, cigarette burn marks on her chest,
and multiple cuts along her body. The doctors and nurses in the hospital clearly knew something was
going on and would not discharge M until she disclosed what was happening. After a total of thirteen
hospitalizations, because of the attacks, the doctors finally reported to the police. At first, the victim

2. would not say who raped her because she was convinced that the accused would hurt her younger
brother. Finally, M identified her abuser as her step-dad and the police arrested him. After finding
the strength to testify, M was happy to see the judge hold all of the 25+ charges and 45+ counts,
sending the abuser to jail with bail set at five million dollars.
Despite M’s horrific tragedy of a story, she repeatedly states that she could not have gotten
through everything without the support of her friends. Although her friends did not know the full
extent of what was going on, they were always there for M, in ways her mother could not be. The
knowledge that the abuse could not possibly go on forever and that it eventually would have to end,
kept M’s hope alive through the devastation, helping her survive the violence. M emphasized how
the fact that her friends cared was enough for her to realize she had support. Her coaches, as well,
knew something was going on and really cared in helping her through tough times.
Starting recently, in June, she got involved with professionals in the justice system. The
police and lawyers, she claimed, really helped with the legal side of everything. She expected to get
no sympathy, despite reaching out for help. The professionals were very helpful because they took
the time to get to know her story, making her feel more comfortable opening up. Originally, she
thought that they would not believe her, but ultimately, she felt, as a minor, the justice system did a
good job of “holding her hand,” through the process. She had no specific complaints, but did
mention how, obviously, she wishes the process did not take as long, because each passing day made
the paralyzing fear, of facing her abuser, even worse. In terms of how the system could better assist
victims of this violence, M’s opinion was to, somehow, speed up the process. In the beginning, M’s
view of the whole legal process was distorted by how the media and television shows depict the
legal process. She was expecting the need for speedy DNA results like on a “cop show,” when, the
reality was that it took months to get through the court proceedings. She would have liked for the

3. system to be more realistic up-front so she would have been warned of what she was getting into,
having outlines/timelines of the whole process, to reduce her anxiety.
Although only eighteen, M has a lot of insight into the idea of what causes male violence
against women. Having known that her abuser grew up in an abusive home, she affirms that violence
breeds violence. M also acknowledged how people see violence condoned in the media, music, and
television shows, and think it is okay to be violent, with no one telling them otherwise. The message
that M wants to put out to other survivors of sexual or domestic violence is that it is possible to have
your life back. Although the abuser has controlled a victim’s life for so long, M stresses that it is
possible to have the power back. M encourages survivors to use that power for good.
In response to the sexual abuse, M experienced a wide range of emotional and psychological
affects. M continues to blame herself for everything that happened and claims that, because of the
abuse, she views everything in a negative way. M suffers from an eating disorder, depression, self-
harm, and PTSD. She has attempted suicide three times and has come close to death. She lives in the
constant fear of being labeled as “crazy,” or having people think she made the stories up. Despite the
truth being out there, some part of her still views herself as the “problem” and that there is
something wrong with herself. Because a part of her life has been kept secret for so long, M is still
figuring out what it means to live a “normal” life. M is a prime example of how there are profound,
life-long impacts of violence and abuse. After such a high degree of abuse, M is unable to be hopeful
for the future. When inquired about if she thinks she will ever be able to heal, she vehemently shakes
her head no and is silent, thereafter. When asked a follow-up about what kinds of things she does to
help herself cope, she explains how she only has negative coping skills to fall back on. She uses food
restricting and self-harm behaviors as a way to deal with the everlasting pain. Although she
acknowledges that she has learned to reach out to people and blog about her unique story, she

4. explains that because she has been forced to use the negative coping skills for so long, they have
become addictive, and normal to use, despite, the abuse being gone.
Going into the interview, already knowing parts of her story, I was still nervous about how M
would react to certain questions. Overall, however, I was surprised at how calm and casual she was
in responding to the inquiries. I thought about how much composure it must have taken to face her
abuser in the courtroom and realized that the interview paled in comparison. Perhaps, speaking about
the abuse and getting her story out there, helps her cope. I was in awe of her tremendous resiliency,
despite the young age that her abuse started. Clearly, a lot of these young victims have to grow up
fast. I can, definitely, see how the gripping fear would scare someone into feeling as though others
would not believe the story, if facts were to be exposed. Listening to what things she had to go
through, on a daily basis, at an elementary-school age, compared to a “normal” child’s life, was
certainly heartbreaking. She was quite frank about how she, at the time, had lost the ability to smile.
What really put things into perspective, for me, was when she said that she spent more days in the
hospital than in school. Based off of her answers to questions and her display of emotions, I could
tell that she, in some respects, was beginning to come to terms with what had happened to her,
despite, the haunting flashbacks and memories.
Sometimes, abuse happens in one isolated incident, but, for other victims, violence and abuse
has taken place repeatedly, over several years or more. From a legal perspective, I have learned that
there, in cases like this, may not even be any way of knowing how many times the rape/abuse has
happened. Through the interview, I was able to gain insight into how a survivor, of this type of
violence, gains the strength to face a repeating abuser in the courtroom. I was always curious about
the testifying process. I learned that, in M’s case, she testified while the step-dad was in the
courtroom. She was able to slide her chair back very far so she did not have to see the abuser.

5. Although the testifying process was extremely difficult, for M, I learned that, this part is, often,
equally important in the healing process of the survivor. M explained how she did not want to let her
abuser to see her shed a tear because he was not worth tears. Sadly, I have learned that, too often,
survivors of abuse have spent long periods of their lives facing abuse. I see how the realities of the
sexual abuse have implications into all areas of a person’s life and can debilitate a person’s
functioning. Even though M’s abuser is now in jail, I realize that the sentence really does not take
away from the fact that M has to live with this horrid memory every day.
Through this interview process, I see, clearly, how abusers use power and control to sustain
physical and sexual abuse. As stated earlier, the step-dad used the threat of hurting M’s younger
brother as a way to intimidate M into performing sexual acts. The abuser took advantage of the
survivors’ age because she did not even know that what he was making her do was considered
wrong. On top of using horrendous past threats such as burning her or putting a knife inside of her,
the abuser used constant emotional abuse to make M feel defenseless and justify his actions. He used
isolation to gain more control of M’s body during times when she was home from school alone. He
also successfully caused altercations between M and her mother, setting the stage for him to
convince M that no one would believe her accusations. The abuser also, like in many of the domestic
violence cases we have studied, fell back on the “honeymoon phase,” in the beginning, by buying M
things to make up for the physical bruises. This case is another demonstration of how power
imbalance dictates abusive relationships. Controlled by the fear of being disloyal to the abuser,
similar to Hedda Nusbuam case, M had no choice but to remain in the cycle of abuse. Again, similar
to the Wendy Maldonado case, M’s passivity really highlights how these persons are full-blown
victims in the cycle of abuse.

6. Similar to many victims of this violence that we have learned about, M, too, turned the
aggression inwards. Like most victims of severe abuse, M stated that during and after the years of
abuse, she often wished she were dead. Numbed to the pain, M engages in self-harm behaviors
frequently and also is unable to take care of her personal needs without a debilitating fear of
potential abuse. M, suffering from PTSD, also shows signs of what we learned to be Rape Trauma
Syndrome, with severe flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and mood swings.
Although in Hedda’s case, healthcare professionals ignored visible signs of abuse, I was
happy to hear that doctors did step-in, for this minor’s case. But, it still does not surprise me that M,
like 73% of rape victims, did not report the abuse until years later. On top of that, M’s case falls into
the statistic that two-thirds of all rapes were committed by someone known to the victim and that
four in ten rapes/sexual assaults take place in the victim’s home. Even more unsurprisingly, this was
not the first time M’s abuser, similar to many other rapists, faced with jail time. M’s case was also
exemplary of how survivors of abuse often flee from one problem to another. M aged out of the
foster system, at age 18, and faced homelessness and poverty.
Statutory rape laws are state-mandated and, in Pennsylvania, statutory rape is defined as
engaging in sexual intercourse with a complainant who is less than thirteen years of age. This
particular case highlights how important age of consent laws are in protecting a minor until he/she
reaches a certain age, when they are legally capable of consenting to sexual intercourse. Forcing
sexual intercourse with a minor is considered a particularly heinous form of rape. This fact, coupled
with M’s case being first degree rape, meaning rape accompanied by severe physical injuries, it is
somewhat hopeful to hear the outcome of this M’s court case, even though, the legal system treats
minors differently than adults. Despite the loopholes of the justice system, I was content to hear from
M, that, as hard as it was for her to testify against her abuser, she was able to look out from the stand

7. to see her child advocate lawyer, who cared so deeply about her well-being, and feel the support in
the courtroom from other groups of abused women. My interviewee confirmed, for me, that most
everyone who is in this field of work does it because they truly care about stopping violence and
protecting victims.