You Just Don't Undertsand

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You Just Don't Undertsand

  1. 1. Name: Dashzeveg Barbayar(Bara)<br />Student Number: 0911127<br />YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTANDDEBORAH TANNEN, Ph.D.<br />
  2. 2. Overview<br />What the author wants to say to us is that men and women react different ways in same situation.<br />The book is printed more than 1.5 million copies, and one of the bestsellers.<br />The author is an American academic and professor of linguistics, and has a lot of experience in communication between women and men.<br />
  3. 3. Content<br />Asymmetries: Women and Men Talking at Cross-purposes<br />They’re My Troubles – Not Yours<br />Don’t Ask<br />Trust Me<br />Gossip<br />In Gossip Begins Friendship<br />News as Gossip<br />
  4. 4. They’re My troubles – Not yours<br />Case #1. A is a man.<br />Most of men think, she is belittling him. Because, he is talking about his trouble, not her.<br />Case #2. A is a woman.<br />Most of women are glad with understanding her.<br />A: I’m really tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.<br />Woman: I didn’t sleep well either. I never do.<br />Actually, the woman just wanted to say “I understand you”<br />
  5. 5. Don’t ASK<br />Case #1. A is a man.<br />Most of men continue driving. He doesn’t know the way, but because he insists on trying to find it himself rather than stopping and asking someone.<br />Case #2. A is a woman.<br />Most of women just stop and ask someone. <br />A is driving, and he/she just knew he/she is lost.<br />
  6. 6. Trust Me<br />Most of men<br />think she doesn’t trust in his driving skill.<br />Most of women<br />cannot get him to see her point of view – that she doesn’t distrust his driving in particular but is frightened of driving in general.<br />A man is angered when a woman gasps in fear while he is driving.<br />Man: I’ve never had an accident. Why can’t you trust my driving?<br />
  7. 7. In Gossip Begins Friendship<br />For most of women, telling what’s happening in her life and the lives of those she talks about is a grown-up version of telling secrets, the essence of girls’ and women’s friendship.<br />
  8. 8. News As Gossip<br />Most of men are afraid of being left out by not knowing what is going on in the world instead of being left out by not knowing what is going on with this person or that.<br />And exchanging details about public news rather than private news has the advantage that it doesn’t make men personally vulnerable: The information they are bartering has nothing to do with them.<br />
  9. 9. Thank you for your attention<br />

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