How to ensure your web project is a complete failure

How to Ensure Your Web Project
is a
Complete and Total Failure
brought to you by

Aaron Welch
and

Warning: the following presentation is ironic
It is intended to help you avoid repeating the mistakes that we
have seen clients make over the years. Obviously, vendors
are also on the hook for making mistakes and doing things
that put projects at risk. Hopefully this presentation will help
clients be better clients while we all strive to be better vendors
on our end.

How to ensure your web project is a complete
and total failure
Aaron Welch – welch@advomatic.com

Section 1: Deadlines

Rule #1: Set your launch date before determining
scope, budget or production schedule

(bonus! Plan and announce a high profile event that coincides
with this date - a gala for example, anything that will be sure
to embarrass you and waste a lot of money if the launch slips)

and total failure


Rule #2: Start late. For example, for a 6-8 month
project timeline, don't start looking for a vendor
until a few months out from launch

(Be sure to lead with this information, vendors *love* working
under pressure and will generally give you a price break.)

and total failure

Rule #3: Once you've set the launch date and any
other important milestones related to the project,
DO NOT COMMUNICATE THEM TO OTHERS!

(Wait until a week or so beforehand and then send an all-
caps email to everyone working on the project about the
looming deadline, sure to make heads explode. Perfect!)

and total failure

Rule #4: If all else fails, move the launch deadline
in the last few weeks of a project.

(If the vendor points out something in your agreement to the
contrary, tell them you remember discussing this early on on
a phone call and are not sure why they don't remember.)

and total failure

Section 2: The Budget

Rule #1: Do not get help doing requirements
gathering to get a budget range. Instead, guess!

(Even better, do all the technical planning yourself, decide
how much it is worth, then send out an RFP with a fixed cost.)

and total failure

Rule #2: Lowest bidder wins. Always.

(Seriously, all vendors basically outsource to India anyhow.)

and total failure

Rule #3: DO NOT SHARE YOUR BUDGET

(If vendors know how much you have to spend, then they'll be
able to make recommendations that fit that range!)

and total failure

Rule #4: Do not set aside a budget for additional
features, post-launch support, or training.

(These services should always be included, but not explicitly
outlined in any contract. Vendors assume this is part of any
scope of work, it's like tipping – rude to discuss outright.)

and total failure

Rule #5: Hosting is cheap, the cheaper the better!

($30/mo is more than enough for pretty much any site.
Bonus: just ignore hosting until a few days before launch!)

and total failure

Section 3: Project Management

Rule #1: Do not select a project lead internally

(Even better, select one who has no experience running
similar projects. Bonus: ensure they have another, totally
unrelated full-time job – this project should be a side thing)

and total failure


Rule #2: Do not get sign-off from internal
stakeholders as decisions are made

(They are super busy, just show them everything at the end
when it's all done and get feedback then.)

and total failure


Rule #3: Rely on your vendor to handle internal
communications and decision making

(That's why you are paying for all that “project management”
time, which is sort of b.s. anyway. Get your money's worth!)

and total failure


Rule #4: Do not read anything

(Contracts, technical plans, meeting minutes – all busy work
designed to pass the buck along to you, don't stand for it!)

and total failure

Section 4: Vendor Relations

Rule #1: Pay late and demand the unreasonable

(See how long it takes your vendor to bring up the invoices
that are due, and when they do ask about pushing the project
team to work weekends and evenings – just see if they will!)

and total failure


Rule #2: Talk about your ex

(Any time you can work into the conversation how much
cheaper and/or better the other vendors you talked to were
will ensure the one you have works hard to keep you happy!)

and total failure


Rule #3: Divide and conquer

(Play team members and management against each other by
sending email directly to them and not keeping everyone on
the team in the loop. Eventually, you will get free work out of it
as they eat each other alive!)

and total failure


Rule #4: Communications

(Do not read any email, there will be too many, and they are
too technical anyway. If you need an update, send an ALL
CAPS EMAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK)

and total failure

Comments or Questions?

Yay! There is:

www.advomatic.com
twitter.com/advomatic

and total failure

How to ensure your web project is a complete failure

Recommended

Recommended

More Related Content

Viewers also liked

Viewers also liked (9)

Recently uploaded

Recently uploaded (20)

How to ensure your web project is a complete failure

Editor's Notes