TEACHING YOU TO STAND UP AND STICK OUT IN A CROWDED MARKET...Because nobody notices normal

STAND UP AND STICK OUT
…for Public Speakers
A Workbook to Guide You
Along the Path of Public Speaking –
from the Art to the Business

by
Kelly Swanson

Copyright © 2010 Author Name
All rights reserved.
ISBN:
ISBN-13:

DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to all of those brave souls who feel the call to speak in public – or the scared souls who
are forced - or the inspired souls who have a burning message – or the lucky souls who have a powerful story
to share - or the clueless souls who just want a chance to be heard. This book is for anyone who wants to speak
to a group of people – whether it’s ten or ten thousand. Speaking in public is challenging, but it is also
rewarding. There is great power to be held in the platform. Please use the privilege with wisdom and care.

CONTENTS

1 WHO IS KELLY SWANSON?

1

2 WHAT THIS WORKBOOK IS AND WHO IT IS FOR

4

3 THE LIFE OF A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER

6

4 WHY STAND UP AND STICK OUT

11

5 SEE, BELIEVE, DO

16

6 SO WHAT DO YOU SPEAK ABOUT? FINDING YOUR MESSAGE

22

7 HOW IS YOUR MESSAGE DELIVERED

27

8 CRAFTING YOUR MESSAGE

30

9 STORIES

34

10 - HUMOR CPR:

60

11 SIX SECRETS TO BEING UNFORGETTABLE

96

12 SELLING YOUR MESSAGE

116

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is dedicated to all of those speakers out there – known and unknown – who have whispered
encouragement, shared their hearts and souls, and made the world a better place – even if just for an hour. The
path of a speaker is not easy. But neither is life.

i

In school, if you stuck out, you were dead.
In business, if you don’t stick out, you’re dead. kswanson
Growing up I was the outcast - the kid they threw things at
on the bus. I spent most of my life trying not to be noticed trying to blend in. I carried the belief into adulthood that to be
successful meant to look like everyone else. But I wasn't like
everyone else. And it got really exhausting trying to be. And
really boring. So one day I cast aside the expected life, dusted off
the gifts I had been hiding, stepped out of my comfort zone and
on to a stage as a motivational speaker and comedian. And I
didn't look back. And guess what. It turns out that being
different isn't such a bad thing. In fact, it's a great thing. In fact,
it's everything. I have learned that it's not blending in that makes
you a success, but standing out among the crowd. So now I'm
sharing my journey with you - to take you from blending in to
flying high above your comfort zone. I want to share the
mindsets and behaviors that I had to break, and the new attitudes
I had to adopt. I want to share the many ways I've learned to
stand out in a crowded market. Want in? I sure hope so. Now get
ready - to STAND UP AND STICK OUT! Kelly Swanson

1 WHO IS KELLY SWANSON?

TEACHING YOU TO STAND UP AND STICK OUT IN A CROWDED
MARKET…Because nobody notices normal

KELLY SWANSON

is a Nationally Known
Award-Winning Storyteller, Comedian, Motivational
Speaker, Emcee, and Author of "Who Hijacked My Fairy
Tale? How to hang on to humor when life doesn't go the
way you planned" and "It's All Fun and Games 'Til The
Hair Gets Messed Up" – along with several other books,
CD’s, DVD’s, and hundreds of online articles.
She has been described by Our State Magazine as one of
North Carolina's funniest women. She uses hilarious
comedy, powerful stories, and a wacky cast of southern
characters to make people laugh, remind them of their
value, and show them how to stand up and stick out in
their lives, businesses, and communities. Her shows have
delighted audiences from coast to coast, from board
rooms to cruise ships.
KELLY'S JOURNEY has taken her...
...from the shy kid who turned red if you looked at her, to
the opening act for Loretta Lynn and the laughing roar of
a sold-out audience
...from the kid who wrote stories under the covers by flashlight, to the author of three books,
numerous recordings, and extensive online publications
1

Kelly Swanson

...from writing and telling stories to sleeping relatives at family reunions, to a career as a professional
storyteller landing on the stage at the National Storytelling Festival
...from the kid voted most likely to set her eyebrows on fire, to the recipient of awards from the
National Parenting Publications and the Film Advisory Board of Hollywood for quality family
entertainment
...from the one who was told that it was a nice dream but don't think you can actually make a living
doing that, to being the featured performer for Holland America Cruise Lines
...from being the last one chosen in dodge ball, to being a highly sought after creative coach helping
people take their creativity to a higher level
...from the kid who was humiliated and laughed out of cheerleading tryouts, to a successful career as a
motivational speaker and comedian - in her eyes: the ultimate cheerleading job
...from feeling like an outcast and trying to blend in, to embracing what makes her different and
teaching others to embrace what makes them different
...from learning to use laughter to deal with the obstacles life threw at her, to using her laughter to heal
hearts all over the world.
...and now she is here – in your office – in your living room – sharing with you what she has learned
along the journey. Why? Because she believes we are stronger together.

Okay, enough talking about myself in the third person. I’m here now. And let’s get started.

So how did I become a professional speaker?
Quite by accident really, and a long twisted combination of mistakes coupled with a couple of right moves that
I didn’t realize were right at the time. I won’t go in to the whole story, but I started as a writer wanting to write
children’s books – turned into a writer who wanted to write adults books – which turned into being a
professional storyteller – which turned into a career as a motivational speaker and author. It has taken me years
to figure out what I’m doing – and I’m still not sure I have. But this much I know to be true: I love writing
stories and getting people to pay me to come tell them. And, so far, I’ve figured out a way to make that work.
So whether you are here because you want to become a motivational speaker like me, or just because you have a
speech to give for high school graduation – I’m sure there is something in here you can use. Hopefully, I can
help you avoid some of the mistakes I made. Then again, it’s the mistakes that really teach us.

2

STAND UP AND STICK OUT…FOR SPEAKERS

I’m ready to get to work – so I’m hoping you don’t need to know more about me – and that we are friends
now. But if you need a little more time to get to know me, then I recommend that you go here:

www.kellyswanson.net (my website)
www.christian-comedy.com (my website for my church stuff)
www.swansonspeaks.com (my blog)
www.youtube.com/swansonspeaks (my youtube channel)
www.linkedin.com – I have a group here called: Online Comedy Club (join us!)
www.facebook.com – Funny Motivational Speaker (fan page)
www.facebook.com – Kelly Cochran Swanson (my friend page)
www.ezinearticles.com – look up my name and you’ll find tons of articles
www.bizymoms.com – I am a regular contributor here
www.corporate-comedy-chicks.com – New Project I’m Doing (find us on Facebook too)
And if you don’t know me a little better by now, I’m afraid there’s nothing left. At least nothing I’m willing to
post online. ☺ So let’s get to work.

Sometimes I wake up grouchy…
…and sometimes I just let him sleep

3

2 WHAT THIS WORKBOOK IS AND WHO IT IS FOR
Okay, for starters, it’s a WORKbook. That means you don’t get sit back and let me do all the talking. That
means that you will have to actually pick up your pen and work. I’m going to ask you a lot of questions –
questions that you won’t be able to answer in a day, or even a year. But you need to ask them. They are not
rules; they are guides. There are no hard and fast rules to the art and business of speaking – as much as people
will try to tell you there are. You will find your own unique way, your own unique style. I’m just here to help
you find out what that is. How you can stand up and stick out.
You don’t have to read this whole workbook start to finish – you can just find the parts that involve you
and jump in. You might not care about the business of professional speaking, and that’s fine. But I have found
that many of the facets of my business – many of the “tricks” we know as motivational speakers – can help
people in other professions. Because when you think about it, we are all speakers in the sense that we are trying
to influence someone else – whether it’s a client, our boss, our husband, our children. In some way, all of us
can benefit by having skills to help us communicate effectively – whether on a platform or not.

I am a professional speaker. I stand in front of groups of people –
often strangers – and try to entertain them, engage them, make them
laugh, encourage them, motivate them to take action, teach them
truths I have learned, and get them to remember me and what I have
told them long after I am gone. And if you really think about it – isn’t
that what all of us are trying to do? We just don’t all stand on a
platform.

4


Who is this workbook for?
I’m going to say this workbook is for the beginning speaker – or anybody who is responsible for giving a
speech – or anybody who is out there saying, “You know, I’ve always wanted to be a motivational speaker.”
This workbook is for every person who has emailed me or called me or Facebook’d me, wanting to know how
to do what I do. This is a culmination of the advice I have shared with others over the years.
You might not know any of this. But there are some things in here that even the seasoned speaker may not
know. And there are some things you know, but aren’t doing – and consider this your reminder. There are
people far more qualified than me to speak on the subject of marketing, branding, social media, and the
business of speaking. But you found me. Bless your heart. I will try not to waste your time.

Just remember, it only takes a small change to make a big
difference. I will be happy if this book gives you even one
small change.

5

Kelly Swanson

3 THE LIFE OF A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER

This workbook is filled with blog posts and articles I’ve written on the subject of speaking. So let’s start
with a blog post I wrote about the life of a motivational speaker. Just a little humor to get us off to a fun start.

Staying on the Funny Side...of Motivational Speakers
By Kelly Swanson
So I was getting my business cards printed and I had a little extra
room left on my business card beside “comedian” so I added
“motivational speaker.” I'm a motivational speaker now! Not the
kind of motivational speaker like my Aunt Ethel who is motivating
all right - so irritating, that after five minutes, you're motivated to
take a stick to the eye just to get out of the conversation. I'm a
professional motivational speaker. I'm not exactly sure what I
motivate people to do, but, hey, it doesn't matter - most of them
don't have a clue either!
Seriously, it's really easy - you can be one too! I'm trying to talk my
cousin Charlie into being one 'cause he can't hear out of his left ear
and has been caught on fire twice, and everybody knows the worse
off you are, the more successful a motivational speaker you'll be.
He says if he can lose another toe at his landscaping job it would
look better on is resumé. My cousin, Pearl, was just crowned
Queen of Dinkins Bottom (it's a place, not a person's body part)
and winning a pageant will shoot you straight to the top of the
motivational speaker chain.
Have you noticed that nobody ever wants to be a motivational speaker as a kid? You don't dress up as one
for Halloween - there's no degree in motivating others where you go to class and cheer each other up. It's
the career you take on when you fail at everything else, which just makes me perfect for the job. It's all
those failures that make for good touching stories. Or, if you're like me, you just have some room left on that
business card.

6


So, of course, I had to start hanging around motivational speakers - to learn how to talk shop - speak their
lingo - use words like “realize your potential”- “remove emotional barriers” - learn things like how to break a
board with your hand and tell stories about lighthouses and starfish. But let me tell you, hanging around
them isn't easy. They're so dog gone positive all the time. Try to complain and they start cheering at you and
giving you an acronym that will improve your life and can be repeated in the shower. I can only hang out
with them for so long before I've had enough and need a little balance, so I hang out with the support groups
the rest of the time. There's something about hearing Jane Doe tell me she's addicted to sex with short bald
men from Topeka and has a basement full of liquid eyeliner - and I just feel better.
Motivational speakers are like therapists - they just do it on stage in front of hundreds of other people. I
could never be a therapist - sitting there, listening to some poor woman sobbing about her husband leaving
her for the girl who makes shakes at the Dairy Queen, her dog getting run over by the street cleaner, and
how her mother never loved her during puberty, and I can't be supportive. I'm like, “Oh, man, it sucks to be
you. Here's some pills. Take 'em all!”
That's the hard thing. You've got to go into groups filled with people whose lives have been a whole lot
harder than yours and tell them everything's great! Seriously, I got a call from this lady said she was with the
Society for Homeless and Wounded Veterans Who'd Lost Families and were Battling Diseases. Said she
wanted me to come in and make 'em feel good. And I've got to come in and give them a heart-wrenching
story about the time we had to fire our gardener and didn't have a clear view of the pool for a week until we
got a new gardener.
And if you're having a bad day - forget it - the show must go on. Trust me, they do not like it when you break
down on stage and tell them your boyfriend just left you to become a cross-dressing clown in the circus and
who's gonna pay for the new above-ground pool with the underwater Strobe lights?
And the competition is fierce! I lost my last job to a deaf lady with no limbs who paints pictures of dogs with
her tongue. It's just not fair.
Yeah, it's too hard. I don't think I want to be a motivational speaker anymore. It's too depressing. I'm taking it
off my card. I think I'll be a life coach instead. I heard anybody can do it.

So, what is it like being a professional speaker?
It’s easier for me to tell you what it’s NOT like. It’s time to take some of those misconceptions people have
about the speaking business and set them straight.
Professional Speakers do not get rich quick. Many don’t even get rich slow. The general public
thinks speakers make a lot of money – and some do - but just a some. Most speakers out there are
making a decent living, if that, and are working their fannies off to do it. This is not a profession
where you can come in and start rolling in the cash. You do not start making money right away.
And you don’t start by charging what the celebrities charge.

Professional Speakers don’t just work one hour a week. You see me one hour on stage. You
don’t see the years I have spent perfecting my craft, developing product, writing and practicing,
making mistakes, taking jobs I shouldn’t have, doing free jobs, handing out my business card at
networking events, wondering how to pay my bills. You didn’t see the hundreds of jobs I had to do
before I learned to make this look easy. You didn’t see the sweat and tears and years I put into this 7

Kelly Swanson

paying my dues. I have earned the right to charge what I do. That one hour opportunity came at
high price.
Professional Speakers aren’t all best selling authors. Of course a book gives you credibility and
something else to help you generate income. But you can still be a speaker if you don’t have one.
And here’s a hint: If I can get a book in print – anybody can.
Professional Speakers aren’t all mountain climbers, disease survivors, and Olympians. For
years I wouldn’t write because I felt I didn’t have a story that people wanted to hear. Don’t be
envious of the speakers who have amazing life stories. Your story is just as important and there are
people who want and need to hear it. I see a speaker talk about training monkeys in the jungle, and
while fascinating, I can’t relate. I don’t work in a jungle. I can relate to the woman in scuffed pumps
with baby food in her hair, who wants to tell me how to balance motherhood and business. Some
of us like to watch Amazing Race, and others were hooked on Seinfeld, about normal people doing
normal things. My point, in case you didn’t get it, is that people connect to different speakers and
their stories – there is a place for yours – no matter how dull you may think it is. (PS But you still
have to make it sound interesting.)
Professional Speakers don’t just wing it. At least not the good ones. Some of you are sitting out
there in that audience thinking “I can do that.” Well, you probably can’t - not without putting work
into it. I have met many many speakers and storytellers and comedians in my life, and I can count
on ONE hand the number who can actually get up there and wing it and sound great. Maybe you
have the gift. But even if you have the gift – crafting and practicing will make you even better. And
in this economy, with the number of competitors out there in the speaking business, you’d better be
constantly thinking of ways to get better. Especially if you want to be a keynote speaker.
Professional Speakers don’t live a glamorous life. Okay, so maybe a few do – and maybe we all
have different definitions of glamour. But many people think professional speakers fly first class,
wear designer suits, drive fast race cars, marry beautiful spouses, and hang out with really cool
people. Most of us don’t. Most of us are schlubbing (yes, I made that word up) around airports in
comfortable shoes, dragging a battered suitcase, trying to save money on expenses, and running a
one-person business out of our home hoping that when the phone rings the client won’t hear the
washing machine in the background. A lot of what you think about the professional speaking
business is smoke and mirrors. So don’t be fooled going in. You want a fancy life? Work for it.
Professional Speakers don’t all have agents. I came into the business thinking it was like
entertainment – that as soon as the right person “noticed” me the bookings would come rolling in.
There are no right people. And don’t hold your breath waiting for someone to notice you. It doesn’t
work that way. Very few speakers (though there some – and a lot celebrities of course) have an
agent who is bringing them business. Even if they are listed with a bureau (we’ll talk about bureaus
later) that doesn’t mean they are getting business. Trust me on that one. There is not someone
waiting just out of your reach who will think you are great and make you a star. There will be many
who are placed in your path to help propel you to the next step – but you don’t go looking for
them. They are gifts given to you when the time is right. Nothing in this business replaces hard
work. You have to get the business yourself. Don’t try to hire people to get it for you (until your
business makes enough to warrant it). And don’t be fooled by people who say they will get you lots
of bookings if you just write them a check.

8


So how long does it take to get
this career off the ground?
You’re not going to like this answer, but it
depends. It depends on how hard you work,
how good your marketing materials are, how
much you charge, what kind of market you
are in, what topic you speak about, what
background you come from, and whether you
land in the right places at the right times. You
may get a job tomorrow, it may take a year.
Every speaker’s path is completely different.
The best advice I can give you is not to quit
your day job. Then again, that’s what I did,
and there’s no greater incentive than
wondering how you are going to pay your
bills.

CHOOSE THE LIFE YOU WANT…
Before you even get into this business, you need to know what your priorities are and what kind of life you
want, and what sacrifices you are willing to make. Are you willing to travel, or do you want to spend every night
at home. Do you need your weekends free? Do you want to make fifty thousand or two-hundred-fifty
thousand? Will this be your sole income? Who is going to watch the kids while you’re gone? Take a minute to
envision the life you want. This will help you decide how to get there.

The Life I Want…
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9

Kelly Swanson

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Look at the big picture of your life. It isn’t just about the speaking
dream, it’s about the family dream, the retirement dream, the pet
dream….Don’t reach your dream only to find there were other
things you wanted too – and now it’s too late to get them.

10

4 WHY STAND UP AND STICK OUT

OUT.
STAND UP AND STICK OUT
Because nobody notices normal.

If you’ve been to my website, you’ve probably already seen my tagline: STAND UP AND STICK OUT in
a crowded market. Because nobody notices normal. If you remember nothing else from this book, remember
that. In case you haven’t done the research, there are hundreds of thousands of speakers out there. Don’t
believe me? Start looking at all the speakers listed on bureau sites – and these are just a select group! The
competition is fierce fierce fierce. There are thousands of other speakers who speak on the same thing that you
do, and many of them are cheaper, younger, have more credibility and better signature stories, are more
talented, have been on Oprah, and can juggle on skates while swallowing fire. Speakers have become a
commodity, and the clients know that if you are not available there are twenty more like you that they can call.
And thanks to the internet, clients have way more choices than they did ten years ago. People are inundated
with technology, busier than ever, and have the attention span of gnats. So you’ve got about ten seconds to get
their attention – whether they are on your website or in your audience. And, sad to say, there are a LOT of
mediocre speakers out there and even more crappy ones. Many clients have been burned, and even if you do
stand up and stick out, they’re not sure that you will deliver. It is crucial as a speaker that you consistently look
for ways to stand out from the others. It will be the difference in whether you fly or fall.
So that’s the bad news. The good news is that it is not that hard to stand out in this business because few
people are doing it. Speakers are still out there (often me included) copying each other’s headshots, web layout,
11

Kelly Swanson

book covers, signature stories, and even outfits. I guess it’s human nature – to look around and see what is
working for others and copy it. But it doesn’t work on American Idol and it doesn’t work in the speaking
business. The world doesn’t need another Whitney Houston or Celine Dion – the world is waiting for new and
different – someone with a unique voice and style that they haven’t heard before. Same with speaking. We don’t
need another Jeff Foxworthy or Gittomer or Fripp. We already have one of those. We want YOU. Your own
style. Your own voice. Your own unique perspective. Your own combination of experiences. Don’t be
discouraged, if musicians can do it (in a market way more crowded than ours!) then so can speakers. And have
fun! This is about uncovering the gifts you have already been given!

Always look for ways to stand out in the crowd – in
every place that you have contact with a customer. Find
what sets you apart. Then own it. Don’t be different
just for the sake of being different. Let it be authentic
and have value. Just because you wear a propeller on
your head doesn’t mean jack, unless it serves a purpose.
What makes you different?
And if you say you’re good, I’m going to shoot you. Being better is not what sets you apart. Take a look at
the things you do, or could do, or would want to do, that would set you apart. To make it a little easier, I’m
going to give you categories. What makes you different in each of these categories?
The Way You Dress
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Your Website, Book, Promo Materials
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Your Speech/Programs
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Your Emails
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Your Marketing
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Your Elevator Pitch
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Your Sales Calls
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The Entire Audience Experience
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Kelly Swanson

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Okay, so maybe you have some work to do to STAND UP AND STICK OUT. That’s okay, so do I. We
always do. Because as much as things change, so does our need to change with them.

But I’m not a keynote speaker,
I’m a trainer. Does all of this
really apply to me?

STANDING UP AND STICKING OUT does not just apply to keynote speakers.
It may be more crucial for a keynote speaker who is being considered in a
lineup of ten other speakers to stand out among the rest. As a trainer, you
may be the only one pitching to that client and therefore don’t need to stick
out. You are in front of a group all day for three days – you can’t possibly
make every moment Oscar worthy. But I will still say that your side of the
speaking business is crowded too. And standing up and sticking out among
other trainers, and delivering an experience that is unforgettable, will serve
you well.

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15

5 SEE, BELIEVE, DO

See, Believe, Do.
See where you want to go.
Believe that you can get there.
And DO it.

Yep, that’s my process in a nutshell: See, Believe, Do. See where you want to go. Believe that you can get
there. And DO it. I know, you wanted something fancier. And, trust me, I tried to give it more bling – but it is
what it is. Three elements that help keep me focused – not stepping stones – but things that must always be
working in tandem. You can’t do until you’ve seen where you want to go – even though I spent years doing
that. You can’t get there if you don’t believe you can - took me six years of doing it before I really believed I
could! And all the seeing and believing means nothing if you don’t take action – I’ve spent many years planning
my business without ever picking up the phone to call a client. We will spend just a few moments on these. If
you want to spend more time on this kind of thing, check out my workbook When Fairy Tale Meets Reality:
Finding The Balance Between The Ideal Life and the REAL Life. It goes into a lot more detail on the subject.

16


SEE
What does this dream look like?
Where do you want to go?
What would your ideal speaking business look like?
Paint the picture…
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BELIEVE
Do you have the courage it takes to make this happen?
Are you carrying around negative attitudes about your ability?
Are you making excuses for why you aren’t where you want to be?
Are you jealous of the success of others?
Do you make statements like, “I would be successful if only…”?
Take a moment to write down what you believe about yourself…….if it’s good, keep it. If it’s bad, replace it
with the truth or change it.
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Kelly Swanson

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DO
Do you have a plan to take you from where you are to what you envision?
Have you taken the big ideas circling above your head, and put them into bite-sized pieces?
Have you picked up the phone this week? This month? This year?
What should you be doing that you are not?
Are you doing too much?
Are you focusing on the right things?
Have you ASKED for it?
Are you still saying you need to do the same things you said you needed to do this time last year?
If you could do one thing to grow your business, just one, what would you choose? Now start!
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Hopefully you will spend a lot more time on these if you need it. Magical things happen when you write down
your plans. They help keep you focused – help you know what opportunities to take and what to pass – they
help you organize your thoughts and sell yourself better. And there are plenty of NSA (National Speakers
Association) speakers out there who can train you in all of these categories. Go get help if you need it.
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Dream Doodle Page….

19


In order to fly, you have to defy gravity. Kswanson

What would you do…
…if money were no object
…if nobody stopped you
…if time didn’t matter
…if you were good enough
…if you knew nobody would laugh
…if it were okay to ask for it
…if just given one chance

What would you do…

21

Kelly Swanson

6 SO WHAT DO YOU SPEAK ABOUT? FINDING YOUR MESSAGE
I was a professional speaker for years before I figured out what my message was. And that made my road a
really hard one, and prolonged my success. But you can’t rush your message either – and mine just had to
evolve. I was still being taught about my message. I wasn’t ready to deliver it yet. And I wasn’t in this to make
as much money as I could in the shortest amount of time. I was in this because I wanted to write stories and get
paid to tell them. How did I become a speaker with no message? Because I was a performer. I was a
professional storyteller, which some equate to professional speaking or being an author – not true. There is an
art form out there known as storytelling, where the artist breathes life into the story on stage. No book, no
notes, no simply memorizing a story and repeating it. Storytelling is an art. That is my gift – always has been –
always will be. I marketed myself as an entertainer. But every story I told had a message. So really I was a
speaker with thousands of messages – which is really really hard to sell. Storytelling was my vessel to deliver the
message – and clients buy the vessel – but they also buy the message. So finding your message is really really
important. And for some of us it takes years to come up with our message. If not longer.
Some of you are getting into the business because of the message – that burning desire in your heart to tell
your story, share your truths with a certain group of people who have been where you have been. Some of you
are getting into the business because you like to speak and you are choosing a message that will allow you an
easy path to get there – for example, maybe you have been working in the field of education and you will use
that background of knowledge and life experiences to go back to that group and deliver a message. Everybody’s
call is different. And I can’t tell you what your message is. I could tell you if I think clients will buy it – but I
don’t think that’s always an indication of whether your message is valid. I say if you want to go talk to children
in the projects about who their real heroes should be – then go do it – the world desperately needs your voice –
don’t do it for the money.

Your message may not be what most clients will buy. And that’s a risk you
take. You can pick a new message and go out there and make money. Or
you can stick with the message in your heart and change your motives for
delivering it. And sometimes you’ll find that the money comes anyway. You
just don’t really care.
22


So what is your message?
Do you know? Do you have several? Write them down… And by message, I simply mean what it is that you
want to help people do. Please note that we aren’t looking for catchy phrases with acronyms and spin talk. Just
give me the basics without spin.
If it helps, answer this question:
I help _________________people (or people in____________)
to ____________________
so that they can ____________.
Example:
I help business women
to manage their day
so that they can be more productive.
Another Example:
I help people in the food service industry
to learn how to connect with people better
so that they can get more business.
Okay, your turn…
______________________________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
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Kelly Swanson
RESEARCH – POSTED ONLINE FROM WWW.MEETINGSCONVENTIONS.COM

Planners Say Motivation Is No. 1 Topic
for Keynotes
How Planners Find Speakers -- and the Prices
They Pay
Motivational messages are among the
most appropriate keynote categories, according to a recent
survey by M&C Research. Of the 116 meeting planners who
responded, 69 percent say an uplifting speech is highly
appropriate for their groups. Also popular are industry-related
topics, cited by 62 percent, future trends (47 percent) and humor
(41 percent).

By Loren G. EdelsteinJuly 1, 2010

While 15 percent of respondents do not pay their keynote
speakers, 28 percent budget less than $5,000, and at the high
end of the spectrum, 3 percent can pay more than $50,000 for a
top name.
Word of mouth is the prevailing method of finding speakers, cited
by 64 percent of respondents. Other common sources are
events planners have attended and speakers bureaus.
Since planners value one another's advice so highly, we asked
respondents to name their favorite speakers. For results, go
to mcmag.com/webexclusives.aspx.

24

Kelly Swanson

Sometimes your message is fine, you’re just not speaking the clients’
language. It may be that they simply do not understand what you
are selling or how it will benefit them. To see what topics clients are
asking speakers to speak about – hop on bureau sites and look at
the categories. That will give you an indication of the language these
clients are using.

Try to find one
umbrella that holds all
your messages.
Instead of being the
speaker who talks
about how to close a
sale, and also gives
keynotes on having a
happy marriage – be
the speaker who talks
about cultivating
relationships in life
and in business. That
way you don’t have to
create separate
websites for your
message because you
have found a way to
encompass them
under one umbrella.
26

7 HOW IS YOUR MESSAGE
DELIVERED
…A One-Hour Keynote
…A Three-Hour Seminar
…A Three-Day Retreat

The speech is not the only way to deliver your
message. Far from it. Your message can be delivered to the
world in many ways.
And just as there are many vessels to deliver your
message, there are many places to take it:

…A Printed Book
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

…A Digital Book
…A Workbook
…A CD
…A DVD
…Articles Online
…Website
…Social Media
…A Painting, Song, Video
…Radio, TV
…Webinars, Podcasts

•
•
•
•

...Newsletter, Ezine, Magazine
…Postcards, Give Aways
27

End User – Companies
Corporate Conferences
Association Conferences
Community Events
Non-Profit Groups
Staff Retreats and Education Days
Chamber Events
Specific/Related Industries
Churches and Religious Institutions
Arts Councils
Educational Institutions
Healthcare Facilities
Community Centers
Your Sunday School Class
Networking Groups
Online Events You Host
Industry Publications and Newsletters
– print and online
Parties and Special Occasion Events
Bureau Showcases
Toastmasters
National Speakers Association

Kelly Swanson

So you see, the speech is just one avenue of income – and I recommend having several. Take a moment to
think about the many ways that your message can be delivered, and where you can deliver it.
Delivering My Message:
How

Where

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_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________

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_______________________________

28


Crap. That looks like a lot of
work. I don’t want to do all that.
I just want to speak.

I didn’t say you had to do it all on Monday. You
can’t do all of this right away – or even the first
year. That’s why you have a plan (we’ll talk about
that more in a couple of chapters) and you pick
the most important things to get accomplished this
year. And as far as hard work goes, well, if you
want to be a professional speaker, then you have
to put in the hours. No way around it.

29

Kelly Swanson

8 CRAFTING YOUR MESSAGE
I could speak for days on this subject, but I won’t. If you’re a speaker, you will never stop
working on your craft – hopefully. I am always looking for ways to do new things, up my game,
enhance the experience. Some of you have never written a speech and some of you have written
hundreds. I don’t know your message or your audience, so it’s hard for me to talk to all of you at
once, but I will try. Let’s start with a crash course in writing a speech. (If you need more, head to your
local Toastmasters.)

The first goal is to entertain and engage your audience.
If you don’t do that, they won’t listen to a thing you
have to say. And you have about thirty seconds to get
their attention or it’s gone.
You want to start with a bang, end with a bang, and
have the middle be almost as strong.
Don’t overload them with content. If they wanted
content they would have bought the book. They are
paying you to come in and deliver an experience.

30


Basic Elements of a Speech :
OPEN
This is the problem
This is why I’m here

What You Want To Accomplish:
o

Get their attention quick with an interesting opening.

o

Keep your content light, short sentences, not too much
without a break for comedy, story, etc.

ANSWER
Here’s the answer

o

THREE POINTS
Your Content
Here are three ways
to fix it

Have to entertain the whole way through. And, yes, it is
possible to entertain and teach at the same time.
Teachers have been doing it for years.

o

Make them laugh if you can – or at least smile.

o

Change your energy, tone, etc., every ten minutes or so
to keep it from going along at the same pitch and
intensity

o

Make them feel good, encourage them, appreciate

CLOSE
Now go do it

them, make it about them, not you, as much as you can
See….told you it was basic.
The basics aren’t what
matters as much as how
you wrap it. The stories, the
comedy, etc., - the
experience.

o

Move around. But don’t move around too much.

o

Give them something they can understand and use on
Monday

o

Use anything that will enhance the experience –
powerpoint, music, pictures, candy

o

Close with a bang – they’ll remember this most

31

Kelly Swanson

Keynotes versus BreakOut Session versus Training
There is a difference in a keynote and a breakout session – though many people use those terms
interchangeably. Here is how I define it:
Keynote (sometimes called “General Session” speakers)
A presentation usually 30-90 minutes, often given at the beginning or end of a conference to kick off or close
an event – the “key note” of the conference. Sometimes an event will only have one speaker who is referred to
as the keynote speaker. Keynote audiences are generally bigger, involve the entire group, and the client and
audience has a different expectation. They expect to see something on a grander scale – more entertainment –
less mechanical – less of a lecture and more motivational in nature. Often keynote slots are filled by celebrities
or big names. Keynotes usually skirt over the content, representing a broader theme painted with broader
strokes. Keynote slots can be the only paid slots in a conference. Keynote slots are harder to get and more
carefully chosen by the client. (There are exceptions to all of this.)
Breakout Session (sometimes called Concurrent Session Speaker)
A breakout session is often conducted as part of a conference – in between keynotes or general sessions. It is
expected that this will be more of a lecture – more interaction and participation – less scripted. I’ve seen
breakout sessions last anywhere from 30 minutes to four hours. Depends on the client and how they set up
their conference. In many cases the breakout session speakers are not paid, and are using this opportunity to
pitch their services (many vendors will teach breakout sessions) or get exposure at the conference that may
hopefully spin off into more business or a keynote opportunity.
It all comes down to what your client expects. No matter what they call it – what do they want? That’s what is
important. Don’t get caught up in terminology. Just have a good clear grasp of what the client wants. How you
brand and market yourself plays a big factor in whether the client considers you for keynotes or breakout
sessions. Often your breakout session can lead to a keynote opportunity and vice versa. I brand myself as a
keynote speaker – so when they come to my site, I want it to scream “big audience” “high entertainment” “lots
of laughs”. If I wanted to brand myself as a breakout session presenter, I would probably focus more on the
content that I am selling. This is all hard to explain to a new speaker – but you’ll figure it out as you go.

I was a professional speaker for three years before I realized I was a
keynoter, not a trainer. kswanson

32


A Note About Scripting:
Ah, to think of all the spirited conversations I have had with storytellers
and speakers on this subject. I am a firm believer in writing your
speech out, instead of writing an outline and improvising the rest. I
don’t care who you are or how good you say you are – you are not as
good when you improvise as you are when you have thought through
what you are going to say. This will offend some of you, and I’m
sorry. And I will say that there are an elite few who can “wing it”
and sound good. I will let you assume you are in that category.
Wait…it gets worse…
I’m also a firm believer in MEMORIZING that speech. And then delivering IT like you didn’t memorize every
word. Some of you are sputtering in disbelief. Disagree with me if you will, but I firmly believe that even if you
are a great speaker, paying attention to every word will make you an even greater speaker. The speaker who has
crafted every single word and pause of that piece will be better than the one who didn’t.
AS LONG AS THE SPEECH IS NOT DELIVERED LIKE A BOOK REPORT.
That’s why so many speakers fight scripting and memorizing (aside from laziness) – they’ve seen speakers who
have micro-managed every moment of that speech to where it looks ridiculous. And I hate that too. I hate it
when I can see a speaker’s technique showing. You can not memorize that speech and practice reciting. You
have to memorize it and then practice telling it in a comfortable, engaging way.

I will practice three-paragraph story hundreds of times – putting inflection on
different words – trying it in a different order – alternating between this word
and that. To me, the speech is like a piece of music. I take care with every note.
kswanson
This is far more important if you are a keynote speaker than if you are a trainer. I don’t script out
every word when I’m coming to deliver a three-hour program. But we’re talking about delivering a
speech. A speech is different from a three-hour program. A speech requires that kind of attention to
detail.

33

Kelly Swanson

9 STORIES
I wrote a workbook about writing stories, so I am inserting it into this
portion of this workbook. I apologize if some of the same questions will be asked
again – but maybe you need to hear them again.

Are you standing at that place in the journey where you
feel this burning passion to share your story with the
rest of the world, and you have absolutely no idea what
to do next?
Have you made it to the other side of a tremendous obstacle and want to tell the world
about it?
Have you learned an important life lesson and now you want to help others to avoid the
mistakes you made?
Have you struggled through a sickness and feel called to encourage others who are going
through the same thing?
Have you been given a talent for speaking, but have no idea what to speak about?
Have you fallen into a position where you are required to speak to an audience, and you
feel completely unprepared?
Do you have a cause that you want to share with the world, but you don't know how to get
people passionate about your cause?
Do you want to capture the stories of your relatives for generations to come?

34


At this point you have a dream – or maybe the beginnings of a dream. What an
exciting place to be, where the world of possibilities is wide open! You have a
story, and you have worked up enough courage to tell it to the world. And you have
no idea what to do next. Don't worry. It will come. But before we start to explore
where your story will take you, let's talk about three things: Working, Planning,
and Thinking outside the box.
Dreams Take Work
As much as Hollywood would have you believe it, dreams don't just happen overnight to
people standing in the right place at the right time. It's not about getting noticed, it's about
getting yourself out there – over and over and over again. Dreams take work. Nothing
good comes easy. Are you willing to put the work into it to make your dream come true?
Don't expect shortcuts or easy ways to get there. The good payoffs still come to those
who earn it. Here's an article I wrote on this subject.
What The Karate Kid Taught Me About Perfecting Your Craft
I love showing my young son all the movies that inspired me as a kid - Pretty in Pink,
Breakfast Club, St. Elmo's Fire. I'm sad to say he's not as excited about them as I once
was. He did not appreciate sitting through Gone With The Wind and then having to watch
me act out the scene where Scarlett digs up a carrot and cries to the heavens, "As Gawd
is my witness, I will never go hungry again!" He did not like singing "She's a Maniac" for
me while I put on my leg warmers and danced on a kitchen chair waiting for him to pour a
bucket of water over me. And he most certainly did not like it when I slicked back his hair
and dressed him up for Halloween in a letter sweater and rolled up jeans and taught him
all the words to "You're the One that I Want" so he could sing it to me while I walked
down the street beside him wearing a skin tight unitard with high-heels and a cigarette
dangling out of my mouth. Do you know how hard it is to find a plus-sized unitard?
But I hit a home run last night when I forced him to watch Karate Kid. From the moment
that movie started none of us took our eyes off the screen, except for when we had to hit
"pause" and see if we could stand on the coffee table with our arms out and one leg up
like a bird- which is how I got this bruise on my wrist from where I underestimated the
distance from the top of my hand to the ceiling fan. And the other time we had to pause it
and explain to my son that he would not get jumped by a group of mean boys if rode his
bike to school - unless he wore the sweater Nana knitted him for Christmas. And when
we had to pause it to explain to him what that boy was "rolling" in the bathroom stall - that
those are drugs (you whisper the word "drugs" for effect) and if he ever saw anybody with
one of those he should run as fast as he could because just looking at it will make you go
blind. And, no, that's not why Grandpaw can't see so good. But I digress - on to my point.
Remember the scene where Mr. Miagi makes Danielson wash every car on the lot? And
then sand the deck that ran the length of his backyard? And then paint the fence? And
then paint the house? Who doesn't remember the infamous words whispered by Mr.
35

Kelly Swanson

Miagi, "wax on - wax off"? That kid worked for days, from sun up to sun down, without
ever even throwing that first punch he was so anxiously awaiting - only to find that his
hard work had actually been teaching him the most crucial elements of Karate - and
without that tedious work he would never have won the tournament. (Sorry to spoil the
ending if you haven't seen it, but you know the kid always wins in those kinds of movies.)
We watched in amazement that a kid would have to wash a whole parking lot full of cars,
or paint that fence that was like three miles long - front AND back! It occurred to me that I
had never in my entire life had to do a project that tedious, nor had my son. Not only that,
but I'm not sure I would ever even consider doing that myself, or asking my son to do that
either. In fact, there weren't too many things in my life that I was willing to work that hard
to accomplish - and up until this point, my son has been rewarded for tasks that could be
accomplished in thirty minutes. And it occurred to me that the world we live in is so
focused on getting things fast, that most of us aren't willing to achieve our goals if it
requires more effort than we are comfortable with. Sports being the exception - because it
still remains true that those who succeed will be those who work the hardest. But what
about the other areas of our life? Are we willing to put in the time necessary to achieve
our dreams and perfect our craft?
I'm a speaker and I see this play out in my business. Everybody wants the dream, but
they want a quick and easy path to get there. They want to make one phone call (usually
not even that) to get a good client to pay them good money to come speak. They don't
want to hear that they have to give a hundred speeches before they can start charging.
They don't want to hear that they have to do it for free before they can start making
thousands. They don't want to hear that they have to write, and write, and write, and then
write some more. They don't want to hear that this could take years, lessons, coaches,
studying. They don't want to hear that they have to practice, and then practice again, and
then practice again - and then make it better, and better, and better. And just when it's
good enough, it's no longer good enough. They don't want to be the one still standing in
the basketball court after everybody else has gone home, still practicing their jump shot.
They want it now. And yet they don't understand, or even notice, why others are blowing
them away on the platform. The better speakers aren't just genetically better (okay,
maybe a little) but are better because they PRACTICE their craft - and not just a little bit,
but a lot - over and over, day after day, wax on, wax off.
The Karate Kid reminded me that if I want to reach my goals and dreams, I'd better be
prepared to wash some cars. Just like Mr. Miagi said, "You either stand to the left, or you
stand to the right, but there is no standing in the middle in Karate." You either go for it, or
you don't. Going at it just a little is waste of time and energy, and will put you in middle the last place you want to be as a keynote speaker.
I'm taking this advice to heart because I have been guilty of expecting award-winning
results without putting in the time necessary to get them. I'm expecting to win the
tournament without painting the fence. Next time I find myself doing that, I will remember
Danielson standing up there alone on that post on the beach, practicing his pose for
hours. And I will remember that nothing good comes easy.
36


So get up a little earlier. Stay up a little later. Push yourself a little further. Remember that
you will always get out of it what you put into it. I have made a new goal for myself: From
now on I will always try to be better than the last speech I gave. And I won't be afraid to
work to get there.
What will you do to reach your dream?
Homework.
Yes, I said homework. And if you're already groaning, then you'd better read the Karate
Kid article over again. Before you move ahead in this workbook, I want you to look at
these questions and answer them. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere.
Get on the internet and start looking up some famous people that you admire – or any
famous people for that matter – or people who accomplished great things or whose
dreams came true. Read about their life, the path it took to get there, the mistakes they
made, the wrong choices, the ups and downs. Find three that really speak to you – keep
their stories in a folder near you so that when you are feeling sorry for yourself you can
read their stories one more time.
Watch any of the following movies, or find some of your own to keep in your collection to
watch anytime you feel like it's just too hard.
Rocky
Rudy
Karate Kid
Pursuit of Happyness
Any movie about an athlete, sports team, or someone with a disability
Any movie about a famous singer or musician who came from nothing and
became legendary
Somebody once told Zig Ziglar that motivation is nice but it never lasts. He said, “That's
why you have to do it every day.” Find ways to motivate yourself every day. That's hard, I
know. And you'll have to find what works for you. Here's what works for me:
Save the compliments. When you get emails or cards that tell you how much you
changed someone's life – save them – tack them on the wall – look at them when you
need to remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing.
Really stay in touch with why you're doing this. If you're doing this for the money, then
you will always be measuring yourself by the money. I guess money is a good motivation
– but I've never seen it work out well in the end. Focus on the dream – money often
37

Kelly Swanson

follows. Why do you want to tell your story? What do you hope to accomplish?
Remember that when the phone's not ringing.
Exercise to Music. Sounds basic, I know. But I am never more inspired and rejuvenated
than in my gym every morning. Get some good music – and I mean the kind of music that
makes you want to dance in a crowd, or roll your windows down and sing at the top of
your lungs. And start moving. Get on a treadmill, bike, whatever – put on the headphones
and just start rocking. I find this to be a time where the music inspires me and where I get
a lot of thinking done. I also try to listen to a gospel song or two to keep my head focused
on the most important thing in my life.
You need a strong support network. Do you have one? People who will encourage you,
remind you of the dream, hold you accountable when you need it? You need to start
building a team – mentors, friends, spiritual partners – who can share this journey with
you. Find some groups that do what you want to do, or have dreams like yours, on the
internet and join them – start chatting. There's something about speaking that dream that
will make it real.
Are you willing to work hard at this dream? Because that's what it will take. It will mean
late hours, rejection, mistakes, lessons learned. It will mean practice, practice, and more
practice. Constantly challenging yourself. Are you up for the challenge? You will have to
get everything else in your life taken care of too. You can't shirk all your other
responsibilities. Remember your priorities and stick to them. You can make it work. Just
figure out how you plan to do it. Sometimes it's as simple as setting aside one hour each
day that is completely devoted to your dream. Those hours add up!

Dreams Take Studying and Then Studying Some More
Start reading everything you can get your hands on (I recommend reading Alan Weiss's
book about Making a Million as a Speaker). Start watching everybody who speaks, sings,
entertains, preaches, engages an audience – see what you like about what they do, and
what you don't like. Study their technique, study their movements, study their facial
expressions, study their words, study the way you feel afterwards, study how one style
differs from another. I ALWAYS learn from a speaker, no matter what they are speaking
about, because I am always watching everything they do – from the minute they walk on
stage until they minute they leave. I watch how a song writer keeps his words tight and
meaningful. I watch how a preacher delivers a message from the heart versus one that
doesn't. I watch comedians to study their timing, the way they construct jokes, the way
they connect it all together. Be a student of your craft. You are not watching to steal
someone's brand and identity – you are studying to figure out what makes a good
speaker versus what makes a bad speaker. Same goes if you just want to write your
story. Read everything. The more you read, the better a writer you will be.
38


Dreams Take Planning
Yes, you have to have a plan. Sure it will change and you don't have to make your plan in
permanent ink. But you need a plan. You need to know what this dream looks like –
where you see it in the future – the steps you might want to take to get there. This book
will be devoted to helping you come up with that plan and show you how you can tell your
story. But spend a little time now thinking about what the dream looks like. Where do you
see yourself telling this story? Who do you envision telling it to? What does your life look
like – travel, audiences, music, theater, websites, commercials, a book? Think big or
think small. And most of all, think outside the box.

Dreams Take Thinking Outside the Box
I always thought that because I wanted to write that meant I would be a children's book
writer like Dr. Seuss. Don't ask me why, that's just what I thought it was supposed to look
like. Wasn't that what writers did? They wrote books.
So I started trying to figure out how to get a book on a bookstore shelf. That was my
dream, to be a writer. But I really had no idea what that looked like. I just thought it would
look like it was supposed to look, the way it looked for others – write a book, get it
published, it ends up on a shelf, you say you're a writer. This is a fine dream, but my
dream turned out to be so much different than I originally envisioned it.
I got rejected so many times by publishers that I decided to give up. I was just a writer
now with no dream. I just wrote because I loved it. Forget book on a shelf. It had now
become a hobby. A weird series of events led me to a writing class after college where
we read our stories to the rest of the class. The class was filled with teachers who were
taking it for continuing education credit. I was taking it for fun. I read my story and they
liked the story, but they really liked the way I told it, and would I come to their class and
tell my stories to their kids. They'd pay me for it. So I did. And that school told another
school, who told another school, and suddenly I was getting paid to come tell my stories
to kids. And this was WAY more fun that just letting somebody read my story. Who knew?
At one of these schools I met a professional storyteller (didn't even know there was such
a thing) who introduced me to the world of storytelling and the NC Storytelling Guild which
still thrives today. I met all sorts of wonderful people who told stories for a living or a
hobby. The dream started to change its shape. Suddenly I could care less if my stories
ended up in a book on a shelf. Go figure.
Over time I began to realize that I was performing the story, not just telling it, and I began
to see myself as a performer. And I saw my stories getting a better reaction from the
39

Kelly Swanson

adults than the children, and my audience began to change. I didn't want to tell stories to
kids; I wanted to tell them to adults. The dream changed shape again.
Performing for adults opened up a host of new challenges because traditional storytelling
jobs are found in schools and libraries and I didn't want to perform in schools and
libraries. So I began to carve my own path. I began to market myself to places that hired
entertainers. Yes, that required a lot of courage, and a lot of mistakes. And the dream
changed again.
Fast forward through many more changes and lessons learned, and I became a
motivational performer and comedian, traveling all over the world to tell my stories to
business audiences. I wrote three books, two manuals, did a DVD, and several CD's
which won awards. My gigs got bigger and better, as did my audiences. Instead of
performing for ten, I now perform for thousands. I'm having the time of my life.
I still don't have a book on a shelf at the bookstore.
Don't think your dream has to look a certain way. Just because you like horses doesn't
mean you're supposed to be a jockey. You might train horses, paint pictures of horses,
sing about horses, breed them, heal them, race them, or bet on them. You never know.
Find out what you love to do and then be open to the many ways to do it.
There is more than one way to tell your story. There are thousands. You might sing it,
turn it into a play, make it into a movie, write it in a book, write it in several children's
books. You might make it funny and be a comedian (and NO not just in comedy clubs).
You might tell your story through photographs or a documentary. You might tell your story
in a website, or in commercials. Or you might just decide that your story is perfect for your
Sunday school class or your AA meeting.
You were given your story for a particular reason and a particular path. Your story is
different, and your path will be different. Pay close attention to where you story sends
you. Be open to change. Be open to your dream not looking exactly as you thought it
would. It's usually even better!
So why do you think you have a story to tell?
Why Your Story?
Of course, stories are entertaining, but I think they serve a deeper purpose. Movies,
novels, songs, plays – they don't just entertain us, they do more than that. Your story will
do more than just entertain someone – it will serve a purpose. You need to know, or at
least think about, what that purpose is. And who needs to hear it – your audience. No, I'm
not saying that you have to become a stage performer – but every story has an audience,
40


whether it's on a computer, on the page of a book, in front of millions, or three little kids in
feet pajamas.
Of course, there's no way I know everybody in my audience, or even anybody. But when I
write a story, I have a general idea of its purpose and who may need to hear it. I might
have an idea of the hurt someone is holding in their heart, and my story will speak to that
hurt. Or maybe not a hurt, but a human emotion I want to connect with – a shared
experience – a need for encouragement, etc. It helps you write your story if you can
picture who you are talking to, and why this story is important to them. Because a story is
never just about you – it's about them too. Deep, I know. And don't worry if it doesn't
make sense. A lot of what I say doesn't make sense. Just flatter me and then keep
reading.
Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. I know a woman who made a lot
of bad choices – bad choices that landed her in a lot of unfortunate places. She hit rock
bottom and was able to find her way out and even go on to become wildly successful.
She definitely has a story to share. Sure, we all love to hear about other peoples'
mistakes, if just to remind us that we aren't the only ones out there who mess up. But her
story means more than that. Her story isn't just a chance to say, “Look what I did. Wasn't I
an idiot!” Her story is a chance to say, “I was once sitting in that place where you are
right now. I know what it feels like. You're not alone. You made some bad choices and
you're human. Let it go. Forgive yourself. Nobody's perfect. Here is what I did to get out of
the pit where you are right now.” She has an idea of who she is talking to (even though
they've never met) and what she wants to teach them based on what she has learned
through experience.
But my story is just fiction you might say. Doesn't matter. Stories are still meant for an
audience, and there is still a message you are sending out to your reader. There is still an
audience for your story. It's okay if you don't understand who they are yet. There is plenty
of time – and often they will let you know who they are before you know who they are.
There are many times that I think my story is meant for one group, and it really hits
another – or I think my story is supposed to teach them one thing, and they get something
entirely different out of it.
I guess the main thing to remember at this point is that your story is not just a series of
entertaining events. There's more to it than that. It has a purpose.
For some of you, this is just a job, and calling it a dream is a BIG stretch…..But at least
try to pretend that you are interested in the story you are telling.

41

Kelly Swanson

Homework:

So What IS Your Story?
Try to write your story in just three or four paragraphs. Nothing fancy. Don't worry
about using big words or even good words. Just get the story down on paper so
you clearly understand it. Your story probably starts with who you used to be,
followed by the event that changed your direction, followed by who you are now.
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The Secret to Motivational Speaking
I hate it when people claim they have the secret to all of your problems – like the secret to
weight loss, or the secret to hair renewal, or the secret to making a million dollars without
lifting a finger, spending a dime, or leaving your house. These secrets are secrets all
right, in that nobody's ever heard of them before. What they don't tell you is that the
reason nobody's ever heard of them is because they don't work. And here I come along
claiming to have the secret to being an effective motivational speaker. But I don't know
what else to call it, because while it isn't anything new, most speakers out there haven't
grasped the key to writing and delivering a motivational speech that actually does what it
promises – motivates people.
It's tough to motivate people, always has been. Even Jesus wasn't able to convince
everybody, and he could walk on water. So who are we, as motivational speakers, to
seriously think that our words will affect the course of someone else's future? Then again,
I have met many successful people in the course of my life, whose futures took a drastic
turn as the result of one person's words. So here we stand – motivational speakers with a
story to tell and a passion for telling it. Unfortunately, many of us get stuck at having a
story to tell, and don't take it any further than that. If all you care about is telling your story
for the sake of telling your story, then you have some ego issues to work out. If your story
is so fascinating that everybody needs to hear this because they're just not going to
believe it, then take it to Lifetime or Oprah.
I believe that stories are meant to be shared with others for more than simply giving us
the opportunity to show what happened to us and how we dealt with it. While the story
may be all about us – the story isn't really all about us. It's about them – the one hearing
the story – the one affected by your story – the one you so desperately want to help with
your story. Someone told me recently, “I have a story, but who cares?”
“Make them care,” I answered.
So give them a reason to care. Show them how your story helps them achieve
something. As a motivational speaker you may be paid to come tell your story. But you
are also paid to come affect your audience – to give them something to take back. You
can probably still be a good speaker if you just come and tell your story well. But you can
be a PHENOMENAL motivational speaker if you can come tell your story well, and make
it about them at the same time.
I started out as an entertainer and spent years putting on a show and entertaining people.
Then I became a speaker and I started studying other speakers – looking for techniques
that I could incorporate – techniques that got them standing ovations. I quickly learned
that giving a good performance was not enough. This was a different world. This wasn't
the audience looking in on my performance like they would in a theater; this was the
43

Kelly Swanson

audience participating in my performance. And therein lies a world of difference. I began
looking for the answer to that difference.
It finally hit me when I attended the National Speakers Association's Annual Convention –
the perfect place to study the best speakers in my industry. I quickly saw that there are a
LOT of talented motivational speakers out there. But there are some who rise above –
some who bring the audience to its feet, or even to the point of standing on chairs and
yelling. I began to see the difference when I watched from the eyes of the audience.
I remember walking out of Simon Bailey's speech. I had never heard of him, but after he
spoke I knew I would never forget his name. His words had impacted me more than
anyone else that day. Was he more talented than the others? No. Did he have a more
exciting story? No. In fact, I don't even remember what his story was. Did he do neat stuff
with the music and lights? No. In fact, I think he just sat in a wingback chair. So why was
he different? Because when I walked out of there, I felt like I could conquer the world. I
felt like he had seen straight through to my soul. I felt like he was up on that stage
speaking to me and me alone, telling me what I was destined to hear at that moment.
That was it. It wasn't about him at all. It was about me. My impression of his speech was
a direct result of how I felt leaving that room – not what I had learned – but how I felt. Not
how I felt about him, but HOW I FELT ABOUT MYSELF. To this day, I still believe that is
the true secret to being a powerful motivational speaker - your ability to go beyond what
you make them think, to how you make them feel.
There is no question that my speeches changed from that moment on. Once I realized
that it wasn't just about my performance, but how I made them feel about themselves in
our time together, I saw a drastic difference in my audiences' reactions. The number of
standing ovations increased tremendously. (Standing ovations should not be the manner
in which you evaluate yourself but they sure do help.)
Too many speakers are still stuck in that place where they are telling you all about
themselves – their story – their achievements. They don't take it to that crucial place
where they bring the audience into it – where they show the audience what that story
means to them. Where they make you care.
So how do you do it? I'm sorry, but there aren't ten quick and easy tips. This isn't even
about tips. This is about your motivation when writing and speaking. This is about what is
going through your mind when you sit down to craft that speech. I know, I know, you need
a list – we live in a world addicted to lists – articles are supposed to be about three things
you can start doing on Monday. But being a successful motivational speaker isn't as
much about technique, as it is about having a heart and a motivation to help others. If you
keep focused on that motivation, it will affect what you say in your speech. I'm not trying
to change the way you talk – I'm trying to change the way you think.
44


How about starting by asking yourself this question: How do I want my audience to feel?
And then make a list of all the things you want them to feel. Do you want them to feel
encouraged? Excited? Eager to take action? Proud of what they've done so far? Do you
want them to feel like their mistakes don't define them? Do you want them to laugh? Cry?
Feel empowered? Make a list of all the emotions you want them to have. Then write your
speech, trying to craft your words to evoke these emotions. Not sure it worked? Share
your speech with a friend and then ask them how it made them feel. This is going to take
work. A lot of work. But being excellent at what you do always takes work.
So remember that motivation is not about education. Motivation is about emotion. It's not
what you make them think; it's how you make them feel.

Homework:

You've already told your story. But who cares? How can this story help them?
Write down what your story taught you – how it can help other people. A list is fine.
List as many lessons as you want.
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45

Kelly Swanson

Why People Make Fun Of Motivational Speakers
I was sitting with a group of people having lunch at a convention when we all got to
talking about losing weight – one of those topics everybody has an opinion about. I was
explaining that I was having a hard time losing weight, while I spread butter on my second
roll and asked the guy beside me if he was going to finish his cheesecake. We all agreed
that exercise was the only true answer to weight loss, and did anybody have a solution for
an exercise that was quick, easy, and didn't involve moving around too much? One guy
tried to sell me herbal supplements that cost more than my car and had a warning label
that said “May cause explosive diarrhea, bouts of gambling, and the intense urge to throw
yourself off a bridge.” Another lady swore that I could bind myself skinny if I didn't mind
bruised ribs and shortness of breath. The best answer I got was from the guy who ate
undercooked chicken, got salmonella and lost twenty pounds. Sign me up.
“I have a gym membership,” I announced proudly, failing to mention that the closest I had
come to that gym was when I turned around in their parking lot to follow the smell of
donuts. “I just can't seem to motivate myself to work out,” I whined to the guy beside me,
somehow feeling better that at least I had admitted I had a problem. “What do you do for
a living?” he asked me. I sat up a little straighter. “I'm a motivational speaker,” I answered
proudly, at which point we both burst into laughter. I think I actually saw tea shoot out of
his nose. And the irony hit me – I am a motivational speaker – someone who gets paid to
go motivate people to take action and conquer their obstacles – and I can't even motivate
myself to go to the gym down the street. Pathetic.
It was one of those moments when I took a cold hard look at myself in the mirror to see if
I matched the person I claimed to be on stage. I realized that I motivate people to let go of
the small stuff, to release their bitterness – and I'm the first one who complains when the
old lady with the walker brings fifteen items into the ten-items-or-less lane, even going so
far as to accuse her of faking her limp just to get attention. I'm the one who tells you not to
worry about what you can't control, and then stays awake all night convinced that if a
meteor hits our planet it will hit my house first. I'm the one who tells you to be happy with
yourself, warts and all, and then has a nervous breakdown because I've just realized that
my left arm is longer than my right and I'm a certifiable freak.
At one point my motives were good, and I like to think they still are – but if my actions
don't match my motives, that makes me a fake. And I don't want to be a fake. I may not
have a wide circle of influence, but I want those that I do influence to be influenced by
someone genuine, not someone who is happy to give you advice, but not willing to take it
herself.
And it's not just me. I know sales speakers who can't get anyone to buy their services.
Customer service speakers who never bother to return your call. People who want you to
stay on the funny side of life, while they sit in a dark room thinking nobody loves them.
Speakers who want to empower you to be confident, then feel guilty taking money for
46


what they do. People who want to teach you how to be successful at marketing your
brand, yet nobody knows their brand. Speakers who tell you that you can overcome
anything – and they're living out of their car eating dog food on crackers. There are many
of us out there who are preaching something we don't practice. That's why people make
fun of motivational speakers. They think we're full of you-know-what.
It's always easier to look at somebody else and tell them what they need to do. And just
because we're motivational speakers doesn't mean we are perfect. Humans don't have
the ability to be perfect – it's not in our DNA. And just because I stand on a stage and give
out advice for a living, doesn't mean I will always make the right choices. But I can try. I
can try to measure my actions against my words. To take my own advice and see if it
even works. To walk my own talk. And who knows, it will probably make me a better
speaker, since now I can actually speak from experience. I've got to go now – there's a
treadmill at the gym with my name on it.

I think that the lessons you have learned in your story, will be the teaching points
you make in your speech. These are the audience take-aways. These are the things
that you have learned that help you through it – and will hopefully help someone
else walking down that same path. Just because we didn't live your story, doesn't
mean we can't learn from your story.

Sometimes The Speech Isn't About The Speaker
In addition to being a motivational speaker in the business community, I'm also a
motivational speaker in the church community. I learn many lessons about the art of
motivational speaking from my church audiences –lessons that can apply to anyone in
the business of motivational speaking.
I was speaking to a group of three hundred women at a church. I always feel more
pressure when speaking in a church because, well duh, it's His house and I can't help but
feel like He's got a front row seat. So I spend a LOT of time thinking (i.e. stressing) about
the message I deliver in a church setting. I was telling a new story (my Starfish story for
those who've heard it – I know, I love it too) that focuses on themes like forgiveness,
redemption, and small acts of kindness bringing big kingdom returns. The message
doesn't really matter for the sake of this learning lesson. What matters is that I worked
really hard crafting just the right message for this group, hoping that they would be
blessed and hear what they really needed to hear. In fact, that is often foremost on my
heart when planning a speech – that the audience hears what they need to hear.
So I'd made it through the story in one piece (it's tough because it's a twenty-minute
poem) and I'm at the powerful ending of the story where the woman finds love and
47

Kelly Swanson

forgiveness and remembers the words of the song her mamma used to sing to her as a
child from the old hymn “It Is Well With My Soul.” For some reason, this time I decided to
sing it, which is so unlike me because I can't sing. But I felt like singing, so I did.
(Sometimes it's those things we do spontaneously that make our speeches
unforgettable.) “When peace like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea
billows roll,” I sang. It was a very powerful moment already, but even more so when at
that very moment three hundred women joined in and finished the song with me. I still get
goose bumps remembering that sweet moment and no amount of planning could ever recreate the magic of it. The audience had given me an unexpected gift in a moment that
wasn't planned to begin with.
The show ended and I'm standing in the back hugging necks and letting them tell me their
favorite parts. I noticed one woman standing back waiting patiently for the others to leave
– a familiar sight which usually indicates that someone needs a personal moment with
me. And I believe that as a motivational speaker, you owe it to your audience to be there
after the show to give them those personal moments they need.
The room clears and I am standing there facing this woman who has patiently waited for
over thirty minutes to tell me something. Her eyes are red and swollen and she is having
a hard time staying composed. For a moment we just stand there in silence, staring at
each other - two strangers oddly comforted without the presence or need for words. It
was the type of moment that women understand. She takes a deep breath and says, “My
husband just passed away. And I am having a hard time dealing with it.” My eyes fill with
tears and I nod as we simply hug. Sometimes there are no words, even for a speaker.
“I just miss him so much,” she whispered. “And I've been asking God for a sign – just a
small sign. And tonight, you gave it to me.” I start to nod, for I am used to hearing people
tell me that my words were what they needed to hear. I'm wondering which part, which
story, which words. And, I must admit, a little pleased (maybe better to say thankful) that
my choices had proved to be the right ones. “It was the song,” she said. I was surprised
to hear this. The song was really an afterthought, just an added piece of flavor in my
opinion that had certainly taken no skill on my part. And certainly not something of my
own planning. “Those were the last words that my husband sang to me before he died.
That was my sign,” she smiled with tears in her eyes. She told me how that hymn had
been her husband's favorite and that he sang it to her right before he passed away. The
same words that were sung to her that night by three hundred women, prompted by
nothing but their hearts.
That was one of many moments that humbled me as a speaker. It reminded me why I do
what I do. It showed me that what we send out often comes back tenfold. And that even
though we're the ones up front, it's really not about us at all. I hope that my story today
will show you something about yourself as a motivational speaker. Maybe you got the
sign you've been looking for. And my choice of words had nothing to do with it.
48


IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, MAKE SURE THAT YOU
CAN MOTIVATE YOURSELF. TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE. MAKE SURE YOUR
ACTIONS IN REAL LIFE MATCH WHAT YOU PREACH FROM THE PLATFORM.
Plan Your Speech Before You Write Your Speech
(Also called: Plan Your Story Before You Write Your Story)
I can still hear Mrs. Peterson say, “Now class, get out a piece of paper and write me five
hundred words on what you did over your summer vacation. Ready, set, go.” And I would
stare at that blank piece of paper with no idea of what to write, and I would start to sweat.
And I would pick up my pencil and start to write, hoping that the pencil would just come
up with the words for me – using every word I could think of to take up more space on
that paper. I had one goal: To finish. That's when my handwriting got really large and I
started describing the dog as “very, very, very” big. It's no wonder so many people hate to
write. They were never taught how. They were never shown that something as simple as
planning your story out first, would make the task so much easier, and even (gasp) fun.
And let me say right now, that writing a story is not much different than writing a speech. I
consider a speech to be one long beautiful story – where you just take the story one step
further (or come out of the story if you will) by explaining to the audience how this can
help them – giving them a message and some points on how they can take your message
and apply it to their lives. I see a speech as a series of stories woven together to form one
longer story – where each piece has a purpose for the audience.
Never Write A Story Until You Know Where It's Going to Go
Sounds like an easy rule, but I was an adult (having written for years) and was still writing
stories by having a tiny idea and then pulling out a piece of paper and hoping the pen
would do the rest. I would start stories with no idea of where they were going to end up –
which explains why so many never really ended up anywhere except the trash, and why it
always took me ten pages to say what I could and should have said in one. Once I started
planning my story, the process became a lot easier, and my stories became more
powerful.
Planning your story/speech has the following benefits:
You are more focused on the message and purpose.
You know what's necessary to the story, and what's not.
It's easier to start because you know where it's going.
You can write the best parts of your story first and then link them together
Your story isn't clouded with unnecessary information.
49

TEACHING YOU TO STAND UP AND STICK OUT IN A CROWDED MARKET...Because nobody notices normal

TEACHING YOU TO STAND UP AND STICK OUT IN A CROWDED MARKET...Because nobody notices normal

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