Principle 1 no free lunch - take 100% responsibility of your life


Published on

1 Comment
  • <br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data=";hl=en_US" width="350" height="288"><param name="movie" value=";hl=en_US"></param><embed src=";hl=en_US" width="350" height="288" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>
    Are you sure you want to  Yes  No
    Your message goes here
  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Total views
On SlideShare
From Embeds
Number of Embeds
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Principle 1 no free lunch - take 100% responsibility of your life

  1. 1. Principle number 1 No free lunch - Take 100% responsibility of your life v. 47 - When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Blind Bartimaues took responsibility for his healing- when he had it was Jesus of Nazareth "There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth: it is YOU. You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that YOU are the only one responsible for your life.
  2. 2. We live in a generation that blames everyone else for its problems and circumstances. Teenagers blame their parents, Parents blame their children, and Workers blame their co- workers or their boss – and the blame game goes on. When we blame others for our circumstances – it sucks the energy required to cause the necessary change in our circumstances. Son, if you can learn this early you will always remember that when you point your finger at someone or some circumstances/ situation then you have three fingers pointing towards you and the fifth one pointing above! I learned early to take responsibility for my life: At the age 11 and 9 years respectively, my elder brother and I chose to live with our paternal grandmother – a wonderful woman of God full of joy - in Loitokitok, Kajiado District of the Rift Valley province. This was 240 kilometers from Nairobi where our parents lived and in those days the one way journey would take upwards of 12 hours due to the condition of the roads – the roads were basically cattle tracks. Our grandmother passed away when my brother was 12 years and I was 10 years old. As expected, our parents then required of us to go back to Nairobi to stay with them since there was no one to take care of us BUT we chose to stay put in Loitokitok. Our father, a man who believes in the possibility of situations that are really difficult allowed us to stay on, knowing that after a month or so we would be crying to go back to Nairobi. A young man in the neighbor hood was asked to keep an eye on us and ensure our safety. We took care of our cooking, washing, Laundry and basically all the chores in the house. We would draw water for the use in house during the weekends, from the river that was 5 km from home. The weekends were our “bath days”- and would ensure our cleanliness throughout the week! Two weeks after the demise and burial of our granny, the young managers of the home forgot the most important chore for the weekend– drawing water from the river for use in the house for the week. As expect, by Thursday of the following week the water pots were empty. This news were revealed when we got home and at about 6.30pm –having spent a good amount of time playing on our way back from school. Since it was too late to go to the river and we did not have water for the evening meal we did what any 10/12 year olds would do. We cried! After crying for a while, my elder brother asked a rhetorical question that I believe has guided my life since then in taking full responsibility of my life.
  3. 3. “Suppose we cry until tomorrow morning, what will happen?” and I answered innocently – “we will have no water and hence we will sleep hungry!” A decision was made immediately to go to the river irrespective of the dangers and draw water at that very hour. Amboseli National park is a few Kilometres from Loitokitok and hence at the time wild animals, lions, buffaloes, Elephants etc would roam in Loitokitok. We picked up the water jerry cans and rushed to the river and came back with the water at around 9.30pm. That single act has guided me throughout my life. Let me ask you, who are you expecting to change your situation? It's time to make a smart move and take control!! Successful people in all fields have acquired and mastered a vital Secret Weapon- taking control of their lives. They don't just do this during the good times; they take control all the time. If something good happens, they know it is because of their direct efforts and actions. In contrast, if things don't go as planned, they know that the finger points only at them. Mastering this weapon means that there is no pointing the finger at anyone but the person in control. And that person is you. Most people are quick to mention their contribution should something go according to plan, yet they are the first to point fingers when things go wrong. You will notice that these people are far from successful. Successful people take ownership of the decisions they make, the good and the bad. Remember that no one will ever want success more for you than you. I see people living life thinking their family, friends, or strangers will someday give them what they want in life. You have a better chance of winning the lottery. If things are not going according to plan, then something needs to change. For things to change, you must change. For your results to change, you must change what you are doing or how you are doing it. Ultimately, making a change is in your control. Will it come at a price? Absolutely. But that is not the question you should be asking. The question is, what price are you currently paying for not taking control? Compare this with the price you must pay to take control and have the life of your dreams. Either way, you will pay the price. You might as well choose to pay the right price and live the life you deserve. Take control. If you were to think of life as a video game, who holds the controller when playing a game? You. Sure, there are challenges flying your way, but only you are in control of your maneuvering. If
  4. 4. you don't like where you are in the game, then you move forward. If you stand still whilst in combat mode, you will be killed. You are in charge of defending yourself and moving ahead in the game. You must get to the end. You will get scared, hit, and defeated on occasion, but you will survive and move forward. There are two types of people in this world--those who are controlled by their environment and those who control their environment. In the second group are the successful people who know how to take control of their environment, never letting others dictate what they do or, more importantly, how they feel. Most people live life in reaction to the events and circumstances that surround them. People let their environment or circumstances dictate what they do and how they think, feel, and act. Why? Rather than reacting, look at living a life based on your desires and requirements. People who are distracted by everything happening in their surroundings do not excel because they are so caught up with insignificant events. Many people behave in a reactive way to changes that occur in their life. They spend too much time dwelling on past events. Their time and energy is spent. Incidents happen all the time. Think of them as the bugs that hit your windshield when driving down the highway. The key is to simply take control of the wheel and look beyond the bugs to the road ahead as you focus on getting to your destination. That doesn't mean that you deny the fact that things can happen, and oh yes, things will happen. Work on being in complete control as you come across challenging circumstances in life. It may be daunting at first, just like taking your first baby steps, but have you thought about walking lately? Very quickly, new skills become natural. Are you just going hope that something miraculous will happen in your life? Or will you actively do something about your life? The game of life must be played one way and one way only--on the offense. You must always be one step ahead of the game if you want to win. If you are going to play on the defense, you will end up watching things happen. Successful people always make their moves and preempt the surrounding moves of other people and of circumstances. Playing defense will never get you the results you want. Play the game on the offense and account for your surrounding moves in advance. Again, this will come with practice. The more you do this, the easier it will become. If you truly learn to take control, you will be the first to forgive in a situation. You will be the first to admit your mistakes. You will be the first to make a move on a sale or sign a business deal. You will be the first to show kindness. You will create the energy and motion for others to follow. Wouldn't the world be a better place when more people start to take control. My son you and I are where we are because of the choices and decisions we have made about our circumstances
  5. 5. Things happen that you can't control - but you can control your response. Let me repeat that. Things happen that you can't control - but you can control your response. I hear people say all the time. He makes me so mad or she makes me so mad. Nobody can make you mad. You're the only person who can make you mad. People can do things that upset you, things you don't like, and things that hurt you. But you decide how you're going to respond. A man went to an art gallery and was heard to ask the art dealer: “ I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ? “ Art dealer answered, “I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror! “ Nuggets of taking 100% responsibility for your life: My son, follow the following steps to really take control of your life. Realize that the most important opinion about you is the one that you hold. Ultimately, nobody else is responsible for your life but you. Nobody else is accountable for your actions but you. Therefore, nobody’s opinion about you is more important than yours. Recognize that the most important conversations are the ones you have with yourself. Whether or not you are aware of it, you have a running conversation with yourself from the time you get up to the time you go to sleep. Your thoughts and ideas are “you talking to you.” Have daily conversations with yourself that are supportive and reinforcing. We know the value of talking to people who praise us, reward us, recognize us, are happy to see us, and let us know they genuinely enjoy talking with us. Talk to yourself with those same qualities—silently as well as audibly. Develop a strong system of internal values. Weigh what you hold to be true, good and lasting. Write down some of your values for periodic review. Read material that reinforces what you hold to be significant in life. Know what you believe and why you believe it. At times, have discussions—even debates—with yourself. Draw conclusions about life. Think about deeper issues. Your values will greatly affect how you relate to others. The stronger your values are, the greater the impact. If you are lacking in internal values, you will tend to draw from and even use other people to try to mimic their behaviors, if only superficially. Instead, seek to become a model, one who can help and give strength to others. Don’t reinforce your failures. Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street. Failure is a temporary setback, not a residence. Failure is a learning experience, not a person. Like success, failure is a growth process, not a status.
  6. 6. Don’t wallow in your mistakes. Correct them and move forward. Failure is an event not a person. Don’t demand perfection of yourself. An A is usually awarded to the person who scores 75 percent or better in Kenya Certificate of Education, and sometimes the score doesn’t need to be that high. In a football Match it matters not whether you score 7-0 or 1-0, the fact is you have won the match and your cumulative points goes up by 3! Give your best effort every day and keep racheting it up and forward. Perfection is not only totally unrealistic to expect and virtually impossible to achieve, but it greatly deters your ability to move forward. The person who constantly looks over his or her shoulder at what might have been done better can’t possibly be focused on the future. Drive with your eyes ahead; don’t drive by concentrating on the rearview mirror. Give each job or task your best effort. Countless individuals say, when confronted with a chore, “I’m too good to be doing this.” They have contempt for their current situation and position, and get discouraged easily. Success is an accumulation of what you do in the minutes of each day. No task is too unworthy to do well. There are no small parts—only small actors. View the big picture of life. Often step back from the landscape of your life today and take a long walk, ride a bike, or just sit silently, observing the wonder and abundance of God’s creation in nature. You are a part of a much bigger whole. Listen to the subtle rhythms of your environment. Recognize that you have rhythms and cycles of change in your life. Relax and open up to the vast creative and interrelated world around you. To develop confidence, you must see yourself ultimately as a unique part of creation. You must recognize—with pleasure—that nobody in the universe in the past, now or in the future is just like you. You are special for your purpose on this wonderful world. No one in the universe has exactly your temperament, history or experiences. No one in the universe has your footprints, your fingerprints, your voice print or your genetic code. No one in the Universe has precisely your set of talents, capabilities and skills. You are one of a kind. The value is there. It just needs to be dusted off and polished.