WHAT IS MARRIAGE?? Marriage is defined as a lifelong union between man and woman for the propagation of the race; for their mutual help and solace; and for the purpose of enabling them to work out together their happiness both here and hereafter. In a marriage, you are the key to the happiness or unhappiness of your partner. Marriage is defined as the act of joining two people in wedlock. The married couple must be the husband and wife or man and woman. God instituted marriage done outside God’s standard is an abomination before Him, e.g. marriages of the homosexuals.
“ You’re the key to the happiness of your wife/husband”. There’s so much unhappiness. Homes that God intended to be a little bit of pure heaven are a large bit of pure misery. Marriages are breaking up; couples are separating, declaring to the world their inability to obtain the happiness they seek. Saddest are the little children left stunned and whimpering by the forces of unhappy circumstances.
And happiness is so desirable. God has put so much in this big, wide world to make folks glad. Life was never intended to swim in tears. God’s plan calls for pure and unadulterated joy. Somewhere we’ve missed the boat. We’ve failed to make the proper connection. We’re on the wrong trail. Our emphasis has been misplaced. We’ve failed to see the prime source of happiness.
In the face of so much unhappiness, how do weknow that true happiness is possible? How can we besure? Let’s be reminded of what we already know to betrue. The home is God’s institution and marriage isGod’s idea. Husbands and wives are God’s inventionsand the whole purpose of home life is one of God’splanning.
SOME CAUSES OF UNHAPPINESS OTHER MONEY WOMEN RAISING IN- DRINKING CHILDREN LAWS/RELATIVES
STAYING OUT TRIVIAL TOO LATE THINGSLEISURE TIME SELFISHNESS PROBLEMS RELIGION
1. Money – where did all the paycheck/wages go? Was it wisely spent? The scarcity of money brings up the related questions as to whether or not the life should work too. How then to buy the things wanted?
2. Raising children – the problem of what the kids do or do not do. Whether to take them with you when you go places. Social matters affecting children’s training such as, who administers discipline, who decides questions?
3. Drinking – especially when the husband goes out to drink and then comes home to raise trouble. Too much money spent on liquor. Inability to purchase the other things on account of liquor spending.4. Other women/other men – jealousy of each other; stepping out on each other. Too much gadding about; not enough attention paid to home obligations. Homes suffer on this account.
5. In-laws and relatives – arguments about each other’s families; mother- in-law problem; relationship to one another’s families; time spent with the in-laws.6. Staying out too late – husbands going out and not taking the wives. Husbands taking too many nights away from home and family. Husband or wife comes home too late and too often.
7. Trivial things –matters of no great importance. Things one wants to do and the other objects. Some rather childish insistence on unnecessary matters. Each fails to give in to the other.8. Leisure time problems – certain tasks needed to be done about the house which husband steadfastly overlooks. Amount of time the husband ought to give to the wife socially. Failing to take wife out to dinner.
9. Selfishness –not enough “give and take” on the part of both members. Wives claim to have the right to do “some thinking” for herself. Endeavor on the part of the wife to be “boss” with husbands objecting.10. Religion –different beliefs; different doctrines; different churches. The problem of rearing children in the face of different Church affiliations. The endeavor on the part of one to bring the other to the same belief.
There you have it. These are the causes and supposedly, if you solve these problems, happiness will result. Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as that.
Here’s another angle! A further poll sampled husbands’ opinions as to the chief faults of their wives. Again, faults are listed in order to importance:
1. Nagging –nagging with never a letup. Not mere suggestions but constant pounding. Nor did one husband interviewed attribute any part of his success to wife’s nagging.2. Extravagance – “they want to spell all you’ve got trying to keep up with the Joneses”. They don’t realize what a fellow has to do to gat ahead; they hinder him, spend every cent he has.3. Poor homemaker – “my wife doesn’t keep our house clean”. Wives don’t get their husbands breakfast anymore. They skip through housework and waste time gossiping.
4. Too much night-clubbing and drinking – “they visit taverns and neglect their children.”5. Gossiping – “They run their tongues overtime.” talking on the telephone too much. “My wife has a highly developed knack for twisting and misinterpreting things people say.” They deal too much in fiction.6. Selfishness – “It’s gimme, gimme, gimme all the time.” My wife takes too much time getting dressed; she’s always late for appointments. She never thinks about my comfort, only hers.
7. Too many outside interest – sewing clubs, literary clubs, card clubs, tea clubs ---- women have gone club-crazy. Wives are so busy running around doing good, they have no time for their husbands.8. Too bossy – “She runs the home, she runs me. She’s always telling the neighbors what to do, and now she’s even trying to tell how to run the country.” They try to run men’s affairs as well as their own fail at both.
9. Careless and untidy personality – “Women get married, get fat and sloppy.” “My wife doesn’t try to make herself attractive any more.”10. Interested in too many other men.
Let’s approach the problem from another angle. Here is a sampling of Wives’ opinion as regards to the chief faults of husbands, presumably, their husbands: (faults are in order)
1. Drinking far outran all other male faults which wives mentioned.2. Thoughtlessness, lack of consideration. “As they get older, they become less gallant to their wives.” Often, its thoughtlessness about little things.3. Selfishness. “When they are healthy they want to be Kings, when they are sick, they want to be babies.” Some husbands “always do what they want to do, and never think of the rest of us.”
4. Too domineering. “They always want to be boss and never think that anyone else knows anything except themselves. This “he- man, big-boss stuff” gets pretty boring.5. Waywardness of husbands. Most husbands insists not to listen to their wives’ suggestions.6. Stinginess. Many wives say that “husbands have no idea what it costs to run a household these days.” Men continue to spend money on themselves but argue over every dime the wife requests.
7. Lack of interest in the home. Wives agree that the home should be mutual job. They want husbands to share the responsibility. Too many husbands leave all the tasks of child rising to the wife.8. Men stop courting their wives too soon. “As soon as they get the ring on your finger, they take you for granted.” They become “so wrapped up in business they hardly notice their wives.” A woman doesn’t mind household tasks if her man will “surprise” her once in a while, flatter her, flirt with her.
9. Men complain too much. Nothing is right. Very rarely do they compliment their wives even when wives go all out to please them.10. Too much gambling, too much smoking. Dirty, smelly pipes around the house, cigarette ashes on the rugs. “My husband loses all his money playing poker.
Open for Suggestions, clarifications, violent reactions and your brilliant ideas WILL BE ACCEPTED.
CONJUGAL LOVE BETWEEN HUSBAND & WIFE. PERSONS UNITED BY THE TIES OF FUNDAMENTAL MARRIAGE,UNIT OF SOCIETY. BLOOD OR ADOPTION. FAMILY
OBJECTIVES OF THE FAMILY1. The promotion of the physical and spiritual welfare of its members.2. It is from the family that the State derives its strength and directions.3. It supplies the State with its human resources.4. It is directed by nature towards the procreation and education of children.5. It provides for the propagation and permanence of the human species.
The Ideal FamilyParents and children are bound to each other,not only by the laws of genetics, but by thelaw of love. It is wrong to believe that thesuccess of the family in procuring thosematerial needs and luxuries of life constituteshappiness. Without genuine love permeatingthe family, the relationship is sterile.
Genuine love in the home betweenparents, and between parents and childrenprovides the solid foundation of a good home.There is no greater dynamics than love thatcould inspire and stimulate parents to bedevote, patient, kind and forgiving to eachother.
TYPES OF FAMILY EXTENDED FAMILY BLENDED FAMILY SINGLE- PARENT FAMILY NATURAL FAMILY
The Natural family. The traditional family---a mother, father and their biological children—is often considered to be the natural family, or nuclear family. But changes in culture, values, economy, and other factors have rendered this family type no longer typical. The Blended family. This is an increasing common family type today. This family type consists of two adults and their children. But because of divorce, separation, death or adoption, the children may be the product of other biological parents or of just one of the adults who is raising them.
The Single-parent family. This type of family has one parent and at least one child. Divorce, separation, desertion, and death makes single-parent families the fastest growing type of family unit in the United States today. The Extended family. Typically refers to the relatives –aunts, uncles, cousin(s) or grandparents –who are part of the family unit. Some extended families also include individuals who are not related by marriage or kinship but are treated like family or share common identity with the family. These surrogate family members may even be called Mom, Dad, Aunt, or Uncle, honoring them as part of the family circle.
In addition to Satir’s categories, there is at least one that can encompass any of her definitions. The family in which you were raised –no matter what type it is –is your family of origin. It is in your family of origin that you learned the rules and skills of interpersonal communication and developed your basic assumptions about relationship.
WHOSO FINDETH A WIFE FINDETH A GOOD THING. PROVERBS 18:22 BIBLE
MARRIAGEWHAT IS MARRIAGE?WHY DO PEOPLE MARRY?WHAT ARE THE REQUISITESOF MARRIAGE?WHO MAY SOLEMNIZEDMARRIAGE?WHAT ARE THE RIGHTS ANDOBLIGATIONS OF HUSBANDAND WIFE?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE?: AN IMPORTANT INSTITUTIONALELEMENT OF THE FAMILY…:WHY IMPORTANT?ANS: ’COZ IT ENSURE ITSCONTINUITY.:MAKES SEX LEGITIMATE
e. o. # 209 define marriage as…Article 1. Marriage is a special contract ofpermanent union between a man and awoman entered into in accordance with lawfor the establishment of conjugal and familylife. It is the foundation of the family and aninviolable social institution whose nature,consequences, and incidents are governed bylaw and not subject to stipulation, exceptthat marriage settlements may fix theproperty relations during the marriage withinthe limits provided by this Code. (52a) (Title
Why do people marry?ASIDE FROM SEX, PEOPLE MARRY FOR ACOMBINATION OF REASONS SUCH AS:LOVE, ECONOMIC SECURITY,EMOTIONAL SECURITY, PARENT’SWISHES, ESCAPE FROM LONELINESS ORAN UNHAPPY HOME SITUATION,MONEY, COMPANIONSHIP, COMMONINTEREST, ETC.
REQUISITES OF MARRIAGE(1) capacity of the contractingparties who must be a maleand a female; (2) Consent freely given in the presence of the solemnizing officer.
The formal requisites of marriage are:(1)Authority of the solemnizing officer;(2)(2) A valid marriage license except in the cases provided for in Chapter 2 of this Title;(3)(3) …their personal declaration that they take each other as husband and wife in the presence of not less than two witnesses of legal age.(4)Art. 5. Any male or female of the age of eighteen years or upwards…(ART. 2-6)
Marriage may be solemnized by:• (1) Any incumbent member of the judiciary within the courts jurisdiction;• (2) Any priest, rabbi, imam, or minister …registered with the civil registrar general, …at least one of the contracting parties belongs to the solemnizing officers church.• (3) Any ship captain or airplane chief ..Art 31; (4) Any military commander of a unit.ART 32;• (5) Any consul-general, consul or vice-
RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS• The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support. (109a)• The husband and wife shall fix the family domicile…• The spouses are jointly responsible for the support of the family…(ART.68-70)
CONT….• The management of the household shall be the right and the duty of both spouses…• When one of the spouses neglects his or her duties to the conjugal union or commits acts which tend to bring danger, dishonor or injury to the other or to the family, the aggrieved party may apply to the court for relief. (116a)• Either spouse may exercise any legitimate profession, occupation, business or activity without the consent of the other. The latter may object only on valid, serious, and moral grounds. (ART.71-73)
MAXIM “KEEP YOUR EYES WIDEOPEN BEFORE MARRIAGE,HALF SHUT AFTERWARDS.” BENJAMIN FRANKLIN