Edanz osaka furitsu_session_1

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Edanz osaka furitsu_session_1

  1. 1. Effectively Communicating Your Research Findings Amanda Hindle Senior Editor Edanz Group 16 January 2013 大阪府立大学女性研究者支援センター
  2. 2. A little about me…
  3. 3. Session 1 … What do editors look for? Reader expectations Structuring your ideas Writing simply Common language problems Editing your own manuscript
  4. 4. Coverage andPreparing for Journal editors andStaffing Plan Submission reviewers ask…Is the manuscript novel?Is the manuscript of interest to our readers? Novelty Target audience Significance Impact factor
  5. 5. Coverage and Preparing for Staffing Plan Submission What do journal editors want? High quality research Increase impact Original andnovel research Clear and concise English Interesting to journal’s readership
  6. 6. Why is clear language important?明快な言葉で、出版プロセスを促進 Avoid rejection Minimize rounds of revision Communicate to the world Get cited Help establish a reputation Advance your career
  7. 7. Coverage and Preparing for Staffing Plan Submission Language requirements国際舞台で意見交換するには明確な文書表現 Journals are clear regarding their English requirements が重要 Brain Structure & Function Language: Manuscripts will be checked by our copyeditors for spelling and formal style. Clear and concise language will help editors and reviewers concentrate on the scientific content of your paper and thus smooth the peer review process.
  8. 8. Coverage andPreparing for Japanese scientificStaffing Plan Submission writing style Passive voice Cause/reason comes first Followed by the conclusion 採用率を高める科学英語の書き方:日本人 の 論 文 に 特 徴 的 な 問 題 点 と は . 2011. International Nursing Review, Supplement 151, 34(3), 94–102
  9. 9. Coverage andPreparing for English scientific writingStaffing Plan Submission style Active voice Conclusion stated first Then reasoning or explanation
  10. 10. Section 1Reader Expectations
  11. 11. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges Reader expectations読者は情報が何処に書かれているかを予測しているInformation is easier tounderstand when placedwhere most readers expectto find itGood writers are aware ofthese expectations
  12. 12. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges 1. Verb placementReaders expect verbs to closely follow subjects Subject Sentence Verb Verb
  13. 13. Reader Publisher Expectations Challenges Verb placement Readers become confused when subject and verb are separated by too much contentThe smallest of the URFs (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt)reading frame overlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminalportion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6gene, has been identified as the animal equivalent of therecently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.
  14. 14. Reader Publisher Expectations Challenges Avoid reader confusionThe smallest of the URFs is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of phasethe [NH2]-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene, has beenidentified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.The smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) has been identified as theanimal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPasesubunit 8 gene; URFA6L is a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frameoverlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminal portion of theadenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene.We identified the smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) as the animalequivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8gene. URFA6L is a … .
  15. 15. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges Which voice?Active or passive voice? Blood samples were collected from 256 patients. We collected blood from 256 patients.
  16. 16. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges 2. Active voice Subject Verb Active Sentences written in the active voice are: simple direct clear easy to read
  17. 17. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges 3. Stress position Readers focus on information at the end of a sentence. Subject Verb take-home information
  18. 18. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges Stress positionPatient recovery improved with a two-month drug treatment.A two-month drug treatment improved patient recovery.Patient recovery improved when drug treatment was given fortwo months.Readers, without thinking, concentrate on the endof a sentence.
  19. 19. Reader Publisher Expectations Challenges 4. Topic positionReaders expect a sentence/phrase to be a storyabout whoever shows up first Subject Topic position Verb Stress position
  20. 20. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges Topic position sentence idea idea idea idea Topic link Linkage and context The patient went to the hospital to see a gastroenterologist. The doctor performed several diagnostic tests. The results indicated the patient suffered from a mild infection. The patient was then prescribed a two-week course of antibiotics.
  21. 21. Reader PublisherExpectations Challenges 5. Topic sentencesIndicates the main idea of a paragraphProvides the writer with a focusFirst sentence of a paragraphThen discuss/explain the topicSummarize with a concludingsentence Beginning → Middle → End
  22. 22. Reader Publisher Expectations Challenges ExampleIn his studies of the conditioned reflex, Pavlov workedalmost entirely with dogs and with the salivary reflex.Implicit in all of his work is the notion that everythingthe dog learns from puppyhood on is a result of theassociation of certain events (which happen to occur atthe same time) with the biologically adequate stimulusto some native response such as withdrawing,struggling, eating, sex behavior, or the like. What the dogcan learn… Henry Garrett, “Great Experiments in Psychology”
  23. 23. Section 2Readability
  24. 24. Writing clearly Publisher Adaptations Readability “only 4% of readers understand a 27-word sentence the first time” Pinner and Pinner, Communication Skills (4th ed.) 1998 Consider the reader Only need to read once Do not have to read slowly Can understand author logic immediately
  25. 25. Writing clearly Publisher Adaptations Structure of ideas Clear organization Helps you AND the reader Start with a broad background Logical flow of ideas Specific 論理的に 論理的に アイデアをまとめる
  26. 26. Writing clearly Publisher Adaptations Structure of ideasCancers are clonal cell lineages that arise due to somatic changes that promote cell proliferation and survival. Although natural selection operating on cancers favors the outgrowth of malignant clones with replicative immortality, the continued survival of a cancer is generally restricted by the life span of its host. Tasmanian devil facial tumor disease (DFTD) is an unusual cancer that has survived beyond the death of the individual that spawned it by acquiring adaptations for transmission between hosts. This cancer has spread through the Tasmanian devil population and is threatening the species with extinction (Hawkins et al., 2006,McCallum et al., 2009). The genomes of the Tasmanian devil and its transmissible cancer, DFTD, are thus of interest both from the perspective of conservation of a threatened species as well as for the insights they may provide into the origins, somatic evolution and population genetics of an extraordinarily divergent neoplastic clonal lineage. Cell 2012; 148: 780–91
  27. 27. Writing clearly Publisher Adaptations Structure of ideas General background information on cancer Related background to a specific host and a particular cancer of concern for this animalNarrowed the focus to genomes and how they may influence the evolution of this disease Cell 2012; 148: 780–91
  28. 28. Writing clearly Publisher Adaptations Creating readability ひとつの段落には, ひとつのアイデア ひとつの段落には ひとつのアイデア One idea per paragraph Discuss ideas in the order presented consistently“Therefore, our aims were to study (1) the kind of treatment the patientshad received 3 months after hospitalization for self-poisoning andwhether this varied according to the intention evaluated, (2) satisfactionwith care during the initial hospital stay and the follow-up period, (3) ifthe patients had engaged in repeated acts of self-harm, (4) how thepatients perceived their need for professional help, and (5) their level ofdepression, hopelessness, and generalized self-efficacy.”
  29. 29. Writing clearly Publisher Adaptations Creating readability Use support data or references for context Ensure transitions are smooth Logical progression アイデアを補完する アイデアを補完する Reference back to last topic What do these findings mean? Finish the story Tell readers why this research is important Beginning → Middle → End
  30. 30. Section 3Simple Language
  31. 31. Simple language Make it easy for your reader Simple language is best Makes your work more relevant Maximizes understanding Science is complex シンプルな表現は理解しやすい
  32. 32. Simple language Sentence length We examined numerous peer-reviewed journals Easy to read articles had an average sentence length of 17 words 長文は理解し難い
  33. 33. Simple language Goals to aim for … 文につき1つの 文につき つのアイデア 1文につき つのアイデア Maximum 25–30 words per sentence Not more than four 30-word sentences in the whole manuscript Think about ‘reader expectation’ and match the expectation with the contents
  34. 34. Simple language Simple wordsAvoid Preferredadditional moreadequate enoughapparent clearattempt trydemonstrate showendeavor tryexceedingly very
  35. 35. Simple language More simple wordsAvoid PreferredMagnitude SizeObjective AimPerformed DoneRequested AskedRetain KeepSubsequently LaterSufficient EnoughTerminate EndUtilization Use
  36. 36. Simple language Unnecessary wordsIn order to determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta ofApoE−/− mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied …To determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta of ApoE−/−mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied …
  37. 37. Simple language Examples of unnecessary wordsAvoid PreferredFor the reason that BecauseIn the first place FirstIn the not too distant future SoonFour in number FourGreen color GreenSubsequent to AfterPrior to BeforeExcept in a very few instances Usually
  38. 38. Section 4Common Mistakes
  39. 39. Common mistakes Past vs present tense Use past tense to describe your resultsOur results showed that gene expression was inhibitedby TGFβ. Use present tense to discuss what is already known TGFβ is an important regulatory protein that controls many key cellular functions.
  40. 40. Common mistakes Comparisons Needed in Results and Discussion sections Compare ‘like’ with ‘like’ Use ‘with’, not ‘to’ The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared to the liver.The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared with thatThe tumor excised from the pancreas was compared with the liver.from the liver.
  41. 41. Common mistakes Avoiding ambiguity: comparisons Relative terms, such as more, higher and greater, require a reference for comparison Use than or compared with The frequency of adverse events was greater in the control group. Greater than what?The frequency of adverse events was greater in the control group than in the treatment group.
  42. 42. Common mistakes Avoiding ambiguity: word choice Use specific language Avoid generalizing or using vague terminology We analyzed the results using the usual rigorous criteria. What criteria? We analyzed the results using Student’s t-test.
  43. 43. Common mistakes ‘Between’ or ‘among’? Use between for comparisons of two groups difference between the original molecule… the onlyand the new molecule is ... Use among for comparisons of more than two groups … significant differences were observed in the H values among bio-, fully- and semi-synthetic molecules
  44. 44. Common mistakes Respectively ‘Respectively’ is often misused Used to refer to two corresponding lists The two values were 143.2 and 21.6, respectively. The two values were 143.2 and 21.6. The two tubes were labeled B and S, respectively. The tubes containing blood and saline were labeled B and S, respectively.
  45. 45. Common mistakes Numbers in the text Use a space between numbers and units 10 mL not 10mL No space is needed before % 56% The word “of” should be used to describe amounts 6 mg of caffeine was … The word “of” is not needed for concentrations rats were administered 6 mg/mL caffeine
  46. 46. Coverage and Resources Staffing Plan There is help for you• Books• Style manuals• Writing course• But … not always practical
  47. 47. Coverage and ResourcesStaffing Plan Helpful websites • Paradigm Online Writing Assistant powa.org/ • Springer Exemplar springerexemplar.com/ • Google Scholar scholar.google.com/ • Purdue Online Writing Lab owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/
  48. 48. Coverage and Resources Springer AuthorStaffing Plan Academy
  49. 49. Coverage and Publish Faster Staffing Plan Editing your own workBefore you submit your manuscript, always goback and see what can be improved Material organized according to journal instructions? Ideas discussed in a logical order? Short sentences using the active voice? Unnecessary jargon removed? Consistent terminology? UK or US English?
  50. 50. Thank you!Any questions? @JournalAdvisor Follow us on Twitterfacebook.com/JournalAdvisor Like us on Facebook
  51. 51. Appendix Useful set phrasesAbstract Here, we present… Here, we show… Here, we report… In this work, we introduce…
  52. 52. Appendix Useful set phrasesAbstract These results show… To test whether (past tense), we performed… To examine if (past tense) we (past tense)… We used XX to YY. Using this approach, we identified ZZ.
  53. 53. Appendix Useful set phrasesIntroduction We demonstrated previously… Previous studies have shown that… We have previously shown that… To determine whether… The purpose of this study was…
  54. 54. Appendix Useful set phrasesIntroduction Therefore, we tested the hypothesis… This report describes experiments designed to determine whether… Therefore, our first objective in these studies was to determine whether… In this study, we sought to extend our observations and specifically test…
  55. 55. Appendix Useful set phrasesMethods To test whether XX (past tense), we performed… To examine if XX (past tense) we performed…
  56. 56. Appendix Useful set phrasesResults Among the cases we analyzed… XX was/were observed… The results are summarized in Table 1. Figure 2a shows the effect of X on Y. Group X showed higher/lower levels of Y than the control group.
  57. 57. Appendix Useful set phrasesDiscussion In the current study we have shown… In summary… To conclude… In conclusion… In demonstrating XX, our findings show/suggest that… Taken together, these results suggest…
  58. 58. Appendix Useful set phrasesDiscussion The above data collectively show… Our data supports the idea that XX Our study supports the hypothesis that ZZ Our study is limited by… There were some limitations to the current study.
  59. 59. Appendix Numbers in the textSpell out the numbers one through nine and use numerals for 10 andgreater, except: Units of measurement 2 mL, 4 min Beginning a sentence Two patients were randomized… Reporting a series including numerals We enrolled 5 patients with AD, 12 with PD, and 20 control subjects. Reporting numbers consecutively …five 2-mL tubes Reporting a range including a number greater than nine 5-12 mL
  60. 60. Appendix Language: US vs UK spellingBe consistent! Check the journal’s Instructions for Authors Generally, American journals require US spelling and British journals require British spelling, but many accept either form as long as the spelling used is consistent Fibre Or Fiber Centre Or Center Labelling Or Labeling Colour Or ColorExceptions: Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare; yourreferences

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