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Edanz kanazawa university_seminar_20111025


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Edanz kanazawa university_seminar_20111025

  1. 1. Language, style and accuracy:help and advice from a language editor エディターからの英語論文に関するアドバイス Kanazawa University Warren Raye, PhD Senior Life Sciences Editor Edanz Group Japan October 25, 2011
  2. 2. A little about me…Author Lecturer, researcher, teacher Senior Life Sciences Editor Edanz Group Japan | 2
  3. 3. A little more about me… Research: virology, arthritis, stem cells Fields: Virology, Microbiology, Molecular Biology, Immunology, Stem Cell Biology, Genomics, Proteomics Edanz Group Japan | 3
  4. 4. Presentation Clarity 明瞭性 Accuracy 正確性 Language 言語 Avoiding mistakes 間違いを防ぐ 間違いを防ぐ Respecting reviewers & editors 査読者と編集者への配慮 Edanz Group Japan | 4
  5. 5. Why publish? To exchange ideas globally …and the science is often necessarily complex Therefore, language clarity is important 明瞭に書くことが重要 Edanz Group Japan | 5
  6. 6. Why publish in English?なぜ英語で出版するのか? The international language of science Other scientists WANT to hear from you! Allows you to become an effective science communicator Number of publications is linked to funding success Your obligation/duty as a scientist! Edanz Group Japan | 6
  7. 7. Japanese scientific writing style日本語科学論文スタイルPassive voice 受動態Cause/reason comes first 原因・理由が最初 原因・理由が最初Followed by the conclusion 結論が後に続く 結論が後に続くKi-sho-ten-ketsu 起承転結採用率を高める科学英語の書き方:日本人の論文に特徴的な問題点とは. 2011. International NursingReview, Supplement 151, 34(3), 94−102 Edanz Group Japan | 7
  8. 8. English scientific writing style英語科学論文スタイルActive voice能動態The conclusion is stated first結論を最初に記述Reasoning or explanation comes after theconclusion理由や説明が結論の後に来る Beginning → middle → end Edanz Group Japan | 8
  9. 9. Tell them three times3回伝える 回伝える You are telling a story Introduction → body → conclusion MUST be easy to read AND understand Introduction “tell them what you are going to tell them,” Body “tell them,” Conclusion “tell them again what you told them”. Edanz Group Japan | 9
  10. 10. Manuscript structure論文の論文の構造 You are telling a story Beginning → Middle → End Expanded IMRaD model Title Abstract Key words Introduction Methods Results Discussion References Acknowledgments Edanz Group Japan | 10
  11. 11. The ‘write’ order執筆の順序For maximum clarity and consistency, write yourmanuscript in this order: Methods Write during the research Results Introduction Write after selecting your target Discussion journal and analyzing results Abstract Title Write last Edanz Group Japan | 11
  12. 12. Abstract Summarizes your workアブストラクトに研究内容を要約 Must be able to ‘stand alone’ Give an accurate summary of your research and conclusions reached Brief Summarize the results State the principal conclusions ALWAYS consult the Guide for Authors for specific requirements Edanz Group Japan | 12
  13. 13. Introduction Why?緒言に研究課題を記述 What question (problem) was studied? The answer to this question is contained within your Introduction Beginning → Middle → End Edanz Group Japan | 13
  14. 14. Introduction Beginning Provide background information to put your work into context DO NOT write a comprehensive literature review of the field DO cite reviews that readers can refer to if they want more information Edanz Group Japan | 14
  15. 15. Introduction Middle What is the rationale/reason for your study? Explain how you addressed the problem (1–2 sentences) DO NOT state results from your study Edanz Group Japan | 15
  16. 16. Introduction End Clearly state the aims of your study State the methods you will use to carry out your aims Edanz Group Japan | 16
  17. 17. Methods How did you carry out your work?方法 - どのように研究を行ったか - Clear subheadings Describe methods in the past tense New methods must be described in sufficient detail for a capable researcher to reproduce the experiment Established methods can be referenced Describe statistical tests used Edanz Group Japan | 17
  18. 18. Materials and methods ExampleMaterials and methodsMaterials. Culture media were obtained from Life Technologies Materials described first(Gaithersburg, MD). Okadaic acid was purchased from Alexis Company(Läufelfingen, Switzerland). Antibodies to MEK1/2 and phosphorylatedMAPK were purchased from New England Biolabs (Beverley, MA). Suppliers/locations givenInduction of cell death. Cell death was induced as described previously [15].Briefly, cell death was induced by adding okadaic acid (0-300 nM, Alexis Co.) Clear subheadingsafter washing slice cultures in serum-free medium. Refs used to save spaceLight and electron microscopy. Cultures were fixed in 2.5% glutaraldehydeand 1% formaldehyde, treated with 1% OsO4 in 0.1 M phosphate buffer, pH7.4, dehydrated in a graded series of ethanol and propylene oxide, and flat- Enough information toembedded in an epoxy resin (Durcupan ACM, Fluka, Neu-Ulm, Germany).Semithin sections were stained with toluidine blue, and ultrathin sections reproduce the experimentwere stained with 1% uranyl acetate for 20 min and 1% lead citrate for2 min.Statistics. For statistical analysis, 2-tailed Student’s t test was used to assess Statistical test parametersthe significance of mean differences. Differences were considered significantat a P value of 0.05 or less. provided Edanz Group Japan | 18
  19. 19. Results What did you find?結果 - 発見したもの - Use subheadings Use past tense to describe results BUT refer to figures and tables in the present tense Present the facts, DO NOT discuss your results DO NOT duplicate data among figures, tables and text Include results of statistical analyses in the text Edanz Group Japan | 19
  20. 20. Results ExampleResultsOkadaic acid induces death of dentate gyrus neurons selectively.Hippocampal slice cultures treated with OA (1–300 nM) showed selective Clear subheadingscell death of neurons in the dentate gyrus, but neurons in the CA1–3 regionswere largely unaffected. Cell death occurred in a time- and dose-dependentmanner. Propidium iodide staining of treated slides indicated….Electron microscopy revealed a number of ultrastructural changes inhippocampal pyramidal neurons, particularly those in the CA3 region, inslices treated with 300 nM OA for 24 h (Fig 3). These changes included slight Graphics used to savenuclear aggregations (arrow in Fig 3A), accumulation of mitochondriaaround nuclei (arrowheads in Fig 3B) and an increased amount of spaceendoplasmic reticulum (Fig 3C). As shown in Figure 4, the nuclei ofpyramidal neurons in the CA1 and CA3 regions…Involvement of MAPK signaling in the effect of OA. Compared with slicestreated with medium only and treated slices at 0 h, slices treated with 300nM OA showed increasing levels of phosphorylated MAPK at 4 h, 8 h, 16 hand 24 h, with no corresponding change in the levels of total MAPK. This Clear comparisons madeincrease was prevented in slices that were co-incubated with a proteinkinase inhibitor. In addition, the levels of phosphorylated Tau were higher inOA-treated slices than in control slices… Edanz Group Japan | 20
  21. 21. Discussion So what?発見内容が意味するもの What do these findings mean? The answer to this question is in the Discussion Beginning → Middle → End Edanz Group Japan | 21
  22. 22. Discussion Beginning Answer the research question ALWAYS provide the major/main result first Give your conclusions, based on the results Edanz Group Japan | 22
  23. 23. Discussion Middle Interpret the results Compare your results with those from other studies Same or different? Possible reasons why? Briefly describe limitations If you don’t, the reviewers will! Edanz Group Japan | 23
  24. 24. Discussion End State your conclusions again In summary … In conclusion … Mention possible applications, implications and speculation, if appropriate Suggest future work, if necessary Edanz Group Japan | 24
  25. 25. Which voice? Active vs. passive能動態か受動態かUse the active voice unless your targetjournal states otherwiseConstruct sentences where thesubject “acts” or does something We collected blood samples from 256 patients. We aspirated the supernatant from the centrifuge tubes.Sentences written in the active voice are: SIMPLE, DIRECT, CLEAR, EASY TO READ Edanz Group Japan | 25
  26. 26. Topic sentences Easier to readトピックセンテンス Indicates to the reader the main idea of a paragraph Provides the writer with a focus Should be the first sentence of a paragraph Then discuss/explain the topic Summarize with a concluding sentence Beginning → middle → end Edanz Group Japan | 26
  27. 27. Topic sentences ExampleIN HIS STUDIES OF THE CONDITIONED REFLEX,PAVLOV WORKED ALMOST ENTIRELY WITH DOGSAND WITH THE SALIVARY REFLEX. Implicit in all of hiswork is the notion that everything the dog learns frompuppyhood on is a result of the association of certainevents (which happen to occur at the same time) with thebiologically adequate stimulus to some native responsesuch as withdrawing, struggling, eating, sex behavior, or thelike. What the dog can learn…Henry Garrett, “Great Experiments in Psychology” Edanz Group Japan | 27
  28. 28. Sentence length Keep it short & simple1文は短く簡潔に We examined numerous peer-reviewed journals Easy to read articles had an average sentence length of around 17 words Sentences that are 15−20 words long are ideal Avoid long sentences, circular sentences, redundancies and repetition One sentence: one idea 1文に 1文には1つのアイデア Edanz Group Japan | 28
  29. 29. Simple is best簡潔に書くことが大事Simple language works bestMakes YOUR science morerelevantMinimizes confusion – maximizes understandingScience is often complex, using simple languagewill help more people understand your work! Edanz Group Japan | 29
  30. 30. Simple words Examples簡潔な単語 Prefer Avoid more additional enough adequate clear apparent try attempt show demonstrate try endeavor very exceedingly More examples are in the Appendix Edanz Group Japan | 30
  31. 31. Unnecessary words Write simply簡潔に書く In order to…In order to determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta ofApoE −/− mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied …To determine the fractalkine expression in the aorta of ApoE −/−mice and the effect of high-dose aspirin intervention onfractalkine expression and atherosclerotic lesion formation, westudied … Edanz Group Japan | 31
  32. 32. Language英語の質Most journals are very clear regarding theirEnglish requirements European Polymer Journal Language and Style: Manuscripts should be written in English in a clear and concise manner. Manuscripts which are not written in fluent English will be rejected automatically without refereeing. 査読なしでリジェクトする Edanz Group Japan | 32
  33. 33. Language Minimizing errors間違いを最小限にする Project planning your manuscript: 1 •Brief outline 2 •Extensive outline 3 •First draft 4 •Abstract Edanz Group Japan | 33
  34. 34. Comparisons比較 Frequently made in the Results section Compare “like” with “like” Use with, NOT toThe material from the river was compared with the mountain.The material from the river was compared with that from themountain. Edanz Group Japan | 34
  35. 35. ComparisonsExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared withnon-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with p53levels in non-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared withthose in non-smokers Edanz Group Japan | 35
  36. 36. ComparisonsRelative terms, such as more, higher and greater,require a reference for comparisonUse than or compared with Reactions with the new cycler were faster. Faster than what? Reactions with the new cycler were faster than those with the old cycler. Edanz Group Japan | 36
  37. 37. Comparisons Between & among“Between”と“ among” Use between for comparisons of two groups… the only difference between the original molecule andthe new molecule is ... Use among for comparisons of more than two groups… significant differences were observed in the H valuesamong bio-, fully- and semi-synthetic molecules Edanz Group Japan | 37
  38. 38. Respectively“Respectively”は必要時のみ使用する は必要時のみ使用する Respectively is often misused by non-native English speakers. Use respectively only if your sentence would be unclear without it. Use to refer to two corresponding lists, but not more Edanz Group Japan | 38
  39. 39. Respectively ExampleOxygen detector flow Nitrogen detector flow Hydrogen detector flow85 mL/min 7 mL/min 4 mL/minThe oxygen detector flow was set at 85 mL/min; thenitrogen detector flow was set at 7 mL/min; and, thehydrogen detector flow was set at 4 mL/min. 28 wordsOxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen detector flows were setat 85, 7 and 4 mL/min, respectively. 15 words Edanz Group Japan | 39
  40. 40. Language Colons & semi-colonsコロンとセミコロン Colons (:) are used to introduce a list or a clause that explains what precedes it Semicolons (;) are used to separate the items in a list too long for commas or where commas could be ambiguous. Use ‘and’ before the last item in the list.There are a number of journals for surgery manuscripts:Surgery, produced by Elsevier; Journal of Surgery,produced by NMS; and the British Journal of Surgery,produced by Wiley & Sons. Edanz Group Japan | 40
  41. 41. Language Asian fontsアジアフォント Beware of Asian fonts, such as MS Mincho and SimSum DO NOT use Asian fonts in your manuscripts 、 ,;()× % < > ℃ ,;()× Why not? Because they look like this on some computers: □ or ? Edanz Group Japan | 41
  42. 42. Numbers in the text General rules数字に関するルールSpell out the numbers one through nine and usenumerals for 10 and greater, except: Units of measurement 2 mL, 4 min Beginning a sentence Two patients with… Reporting a series including numerals We enrolled 5 patients with AD, 12 with PD and 20 control individuals. Reporting numbers consecutively five 2-mL tubes Reporting a range including a number greater than nine 5–12 Edanz Group Japan | 42
  43. 43. Numbers in the text General rules数字に関するルール Always use a space between numbers and units 10 mL not 10mL No space is needed before % 56% The word “of” should be used to describe amounts 6 mg of caffeine was … The word “of” is not needed for concentrations rats were administered 6 mg/mL caffeine Edanz Group Japan | 43
  44. 44. Language UK or US spellingUK英語か 英語か? 英語かUS英語か? 英語かBe consistent 一貫させる Check the journal’s Guide for Authors Generally, American journals require US spelling and British journals require British spelling, but many accept either form as long as the spelling used is consistent fibre or fiber centre or center labelling or labeling colour or color Exceptions: Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare; your references Edanz Group Japan | 44
  45. 45. Readability可読性“only 4% of readers understand a 27-word sentence first time” Reader objectives Only need to read once Do not have to read slowly Can understand author logic immediately Edanz Group Japan | 45
  46. 46. Readability Writing style Maximum 25–30 words per sentence Not more than four 30-word sentences in the whole paper Use lots of periods (.) and some commas (,) Think about “reader anticipation”. Match expectation with contents! Edanz Group Japan | 46
  47. 47. Minimizing errors間違いを防ぐThe internet can help you Google Scholar to check for word usage Purdue University Online Writing Lab (OWL) Check the target journal’s website for full instructionsMS Word Track changes and Comment functions Find (and replace) to check for consistency Word Count function Spell Check (be careful) Custom Dictionaries and Online Glossaries (provided by some academic societies for specific fields) Edanz Group Japan | 47
  48. 48. Why are journal guidelines important?ジャーナルガイドラインはなぜ重要か? A major difference between acceptance and rejection Saves your time Time to publication is quicker Edanz Group Japan | 48
  49. 49. Journal guidelinesジャーナルガイドライン Edanz Group Japan | 49
  50. 50. What to look for?注視する点は?注視する点は? Check journal website and sample papers Types of papers published Word counts Total Each section Order of sections IMRaD Variation of IMRaD Edanz Group Japan | 50
  51. 51. References文献一覧Pay attention to the referencing style in text:Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior (Suzuki et al., 2005).Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior (Tanaka and Honda).Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior [1].Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior (1).Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior. [1,2]Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior [1–3].Insect hunting is an ideal way to study predatory behavior.¹Tanaka reported that insect hunting was an ideal way to study predatorybehavior (2005). Edanz Group Japan | 51
  52. 52. References文献一覧If you need to abbreviate, use the following resources: BIOSIS (BIOSIS Serial Sources) CASSI (Chemical Abstracts Service Source Index) Index MedicusTitle: Advances in drug research Title: Medicine and science in sportsAbbreviation: Adv. Drug Res. Abbreviation: Med. Sci. Sports Some journals limit the number of references: check the Guide for Authors Check a sample paper if you are not sure of the style Referencing styles: APA, Chicago, MLA, ACS, IEEE, Vancouver Use reference managers such as EndNote or BibTeX Edanz Group Japan | 52
  53. 53. Peer Review What do reviewers look for?査読者が求めているもの Is the manuscript sufficiently novel? Is the manuscript of broad enough interest? Novelty Aims and Scope Significance Impact Factor Edanz Group Japan | 53
  54. 54. Peer Review About the manuscript …査読者が論文に求めるものAre the rationale and objectives defined?Is enough background given to understand the rationale?Could a capable researcher reproduce the experiments?Are the results clearly explained and in the best format?Are the findings described in context?Are the limitations discussed?Are the conclusions supported?Is the literature cited appropriate?Are there contradictions within the manuscript? Edanz Group Japan | 54
  55. 55. Revision How to respond回答の仕方 Politely respond to ALL the reviewers’ comments in a response letter Make it easy to see the changes Refer to line and page numbers Different color font Highlight the text Edanz Group Japan | 55
  56. 56. Revision How to respond論文の修正 Consider additional experiments if suggested You can disagree with reviewers BUT provide evidence in your rebuttal (cite references) Comply with deadlines Edanz Group Japan | 56
  57. 57. Post-referee revisions The response修正後の回答修正後の回答Dear Dr. _____________: [address the editor by name]Thank you for your consideration of our manuscriptentitled _____________ [insert article title here]. Wehave reviewed the comments of the reviewers and havethoroughly revised the manuscript. We found thecomments helpful, and believe our revised manuscriptrepresents a significant improvement over our initialsubmission.In response to the reviewers’ suggestions we have[summarize the key changes here] Edanz Group Japan | 57
  58. 58. Post-referee revisions Point-by-point修正後の回答[After the introduction to the response, address all reviewer pointsindividually.]Reviewer Comment: In your analysis of the data you have chosen touse a somewhat obscure fitting function (regression). In my opinion,a simple Gaussian function would have sufficed. Moreover, theresults would be more instructive and easier to compare to previousresults.Response: We agree with the reviewer’s assessment of the analysis.Our tailored function makes it impossible to fully interpret the datain terms of the prevailing theories. In addition, in its current form itwould be difficult to tell that this measurement constitutes asignificant improvement over previously reported values. We haveredone the analysis using a Gaussian fitting function. Edanz Group Japan | 58
  59. 59. Post-referee revisions Disagreement修正後の回答[Sometimes you will disagree with the reviewer. Keep yourresponse polite and professional.]Reviewer Comment: In your analysis of the data you have chosento use a somewhat obscure fitting function (regression). In myopinion, a simple Gaussian function would have sufficed.Moreover, the results would be more instructive and easier tocompare to previous results.Response: We agree with the reviewer that a simple Gaussian fitwould facilitate comparison with the results of other studies.However, our tailored function allows for the analysis of the datain terms of the Smith model [Smith et al, 1998]. We have addedtwo sentences to the paper (page 3 paragraph 2) to explain theuse of this function and Smith’s model. Edanz Group Japan | 59
  60. 60. Resources and links参考資料 This presentation Templates Guidelines Edanz Group Japan | 60
  61. 61. Thank you Good luck!ご清聴ありがとうございました 。 Edanz Group Japan | 61
  62. 62. Appendix Simple words 簡潔な単語 Prefer Avoid more additional enough adequate clear apparent try attempt show demonstrate try endeavor very exceedingly Edanz Group Japan | 62
  63. 63. Appendix Simple words 簡潔な単語 Prefer Avoid size magnitude aim objective take part participate done performed asked requested lives resides keep retain Edanz Group Japan | 63
  64. 64. Appendix Simple words 簡潔な単語 Prefer Avoid later subsequently enough sufficient end terminate use utilization Edanz Group Japan | 64
  65. 65. Appendix: useful set phrases Abstract アブストラクトに役立つ表現Here, we present…Here, we show…Here, we report…In this work we introduce… Edanz Group Japan | 65
  66. 66. Appendix: useful set phrases Abstract アブストラクトに役立つ表現These results show…To test whether (past tense), we performed....To examine if (past tense) we (past tense)We used XX to YY. Using this approach, weidentified ZZ Edanz Group Japan | 66
  67. 67. Appendix: useful set phrases Introduction 緒言に役立つ表現 We demonstrated previously… Previous studies have shown that… We have previously shown that… The topic of XX has recently been reviewed1. (insert reference) To determine whether … The purpose of this study was … Edanz Group Japan | 67
  68. 68. Appendix: useful set phrases Introduction 緒言に役立つ表現Therefore, we tested the hypothesis …This report describes experiments designed todetermine whether …Therefore, our first objective in these studies wasto determine whether …In this study, we sought to extend ourobservations and specifically test … Edanz Group Japan | 68
  69. 69. Appendix: useful set phrases Methods 方法に役立つ表現 To test whether XX (past tense), we performed.... To examine if XX (paste tense) we performed… Edanz Group Japan | 69
  70. 70. Appendix: useful set phrases Results 結果に役立つ表現 Among the cases we analyzed… XX was/were observed…. The results are summarized in Table 1. Figure 2a shows the effect of X on Y. Group X showed higher/lower levels of Y than the control group. Edanz Group Japan | 70
  71. 71. Appendix: useful set phrases Discussion 考察に役立つ表現In the current study, we have shown…In summary…To conclude…In conclusion…In demonstrating XX, our findings showthat/illustrate that…Taken together these results suggest… Edanz Group Japan | 71
  72. 72. Appendix: useful set phrases Discussion 考察に役立つ表現 The above data collectively show… Our data supports the idea that XX Our study supports the hypothesis that ZZ Our study is limited by… There were some limitations to the current study. Edanz Group Japan | 72
  73. 73. Cover letters Common phrases カバーレターに役立つ表現Please find enclosed our manuscript entitled (title) by(First Author) et al., which we would like to submit forpublication as a (Publication Type) in (Journal name).To our knowledge, this is the first report showing…We believe our findings would appeal to the readershipof (Journal name).Please address all correspondence to:We shall look forward to hearing from you at yourearliest convenience. Edanz Group Japan | 73
  74. 74. Response Letter Common phrases 回答レターに役立つ表現 回答レターに役立つ表現Please find enclosed our revised manuscript entitled(title) by (First Author) et al., which we would like toresubmit for publication as a (Publication Type) in(Journal name).Your comments and those of the reviewers were veryhelpful.In the following pages are our point-by-point responsesto each of the comments of the reviewers. Edanz Group Japan | 74
  75. 75. Language Hyphens Hyphen (-): for joining usually separate words Incorrect use can lead to ambiguity twenty-four hour reactions is different to twenty four-hour reactions Edanz Group Japan | 75
  76. 76. Language DashesEn dash (–): means “through” October 26–29; pp. 2–5. (don’t use ~)Em dash (—): Used to break a sentence, introducesomething, or introduce an afterthought.These two metals—that is, titanium and magnesium—are very light. Edanz Group Japan | 76
  77. 77. Peer Review Reasons for rejectionリジェクトの理由 Failure to state a hypothesis Ambiguous descriptions Difficult to read and understand Not answering the hypothesis Contradictions within the manuscript Superficial or rambling discussion Inconsistent use of terms Conclusion that is not supported by the data Edanz Group Japan | 77