Edanz 20120313 pres1_print


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Edanz 20120313 pres1_print

  1. 1. Preparing for Publication Language Osaka Prefecture University Amanda Hindle Senior Language Editor Edanz Group Japan 13 March 2012
  2. 2. A little about me… Edanz Group Japan | 2
  3. 3. Reporting your researchYou are telling a story Beginning → Middle → End (Introduction) (Body) (Conclusion)Must be easy to read AND easy to understand Edanz Group Japan | 3
  4. 4. Japanese scientific writing style Passive voice Cause/reason comes first Followed by the conclusion Ki-sho-ten-ketsu 採用率を高める科学英語の書き方:日本人の論文に特 徴的な問題点とは. 2011. International Nursing Review, Supplement 151, 34(3), 94−102 Edanz Group Japan | 4
  5. 5. English scientific writing styleActive voiceThe conclusion is stated firstReasoning or explanation comes after theconclusion Beginning → Middle → End Edanz Group Japan | 5
  6. 6. Readability “Sloppy language means sloppy science” Medical Writing: A Prescription for Clarity 3rd ed. Reader objectives Only need to read once Do not have to read slowly Can understand author logic immediately Edanz Group Japan | 6
  7. 7. Structure of ideas Clear organization Helps you AND the reader Start with a broad background Logical flow of ideas Specific Edanz Group Japan | 7
  8. 8. Structure of ideas Cancers are clonal cell lineages that arise due to somatic changes that promote cell proliferation and survival. Although natural selection operating on cancers favors the outgrowth of malignant clones with replicative immortality, the continued survival of a cancer is generally restricted by the life span of its host. Tasmanian devil facial tumor disease (DFTD) is an unusual cancer that has survived beyond the death of the individual that spawned it by acquiring adaptations for transmission between hosts. This cancer has spread through the Tasmanian devil population and is threatening the species with extinction (Hawkins et al., 2006,McCallum et al., 2009). The genomes of the Tasmanian devil and its transmissible cancer, DFTD, are thus of interest both from the perspective of conservation of a threatened species as well as for the insights they may provide into the origins, somatic evolution and population genetics of an extraordinarily divergent neoplastic clonal lineage. Cell 2012; 148: 780-91 Edanz Group Japan | 8
  9. 9. Creating readability One idea per paragraph Discuss ideas in the order presented consistently “Mothers also expressed a sense of disgruntlement, which was directed to three targets: the blameworthiness of doctors, their sense of their own inadequacy and their children’s immaturity.” Int Nurs Rev 2011; 58: 443-49 Edanz Group Japan | 9
  10. 10. Creating readability Use support data or references for context Ensure transitions are smooth Logical progression Reference back to last topic What do these findings mean? Finish the story Tell readers why this research is important Beginning → Middle → End Edanz Group Japan | 10
  11. 11. Display items vs. text Present a large amount of data quickly and efficiently Present most significant result as a figure or table Simple descriptive statistics in text Necessary? Supplements text Assists with communication Think about what reviewers may ask for Edanz Group Japan | 11
  12. 12. LanguageMost journals are very clear regarding theirEnglish requirements Brain Structure & Function Language: Manuscripts will be checked by our copyeditors for spelling and formal style. Clear and concise language will help editors and reviewers concentrate on the scientific content of your paper and thus smooth the peer review process. Edanz Group Japan | 12
  13. 13. Reader ExpectationsInformation is easier tointerpret and more uniformwhen placed where mostreaders expect to find itGood writers are aware ofthese expectationsReadability Edanz Group Japan | 13
  14. 14. Verb placementSentences are easier to read when the subjectand verb are close together Subject Sentence Verb Verb Subject and verb far apart = poor readability Edanz Group Japan | 14
  15. 15. Avoid reader confusion Readers can be confused if subject and verb are separated by too much contentThe smallest of the URFs (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out ofphase the [NH2]-terminal portion of theadenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene,has been identified as the animal equivalent of therecently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene. Edanz Group Japan | 15
  16. 16. Avoid reader confusionThe smallest of the URFs (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frameoverlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminal portion of theadenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene, has been identified as theanimal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene.The smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) has been identifiedas the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeastH-ATPase subunit 8 gene; URFA6L is a 207-nucleotide (nt)reading frame overlapping out of phase the [NH2]-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase)subunit 6 gene.We identified the smallest of the URFs (URFA6L) as theanimal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H-ATPase subunit 8 gene. URFA6L is a … . Edanz Group Japan | 16
  17. 17. Which voice? Active vs. passive Use the active voice unless your target journal states otherwiseBlood samples were collected from 256 patients.We collected blood from 256 patients. Edanz Group Japan | 17
  18. 18. Active voice Subject Verb Active Sentences written in the active voice are: SIMPLE DIRECT CLEAR SHORTER EASY TO READ Edanz Group Japan | 18
  19. 19. Stress position Readers focus on information at the end of a sentence. Subject Verb take-home information “Save the best until last” Edanz Group Japan | 19
  20. 20. Stress positionThe dog sat when her owner offered a treat.The dog sat when a treat was offered by her owner.When the owner offered her a treat, the dog sat. Readers, without thinking, concentrate on the end of a sentence. Edanz Group Japan | 20
  21. 21. Topic position Readers expect a sentence/phrase to be a story about whatever arrives first Subject Topic position Verb Stress position Edanz Group Japan | 21
  22. 22. Topic position sentence idea idea idea idea Topic link Linkage and context The family went into the courtyard to see the new puppy. The dog sat when her owner offered a treat. Everyone was so excited they broke into applause. However, as the courtyard was situated right next to my bedroom, the sound woke me from my sleep. Edanz Group Japan | 22
  23. 23. For example…Superconductivity’s third side unmaskedThe debate over the mechanism that causes superconductivity ina class of materials called the pnictides has been settled by aresearch team from Japan and China. Superconductivity atelevated temperatures was discovered in the pnictides onlyrecently; that places these compounds within the class of so-called high-temperature superconductors. Despite the term, thetemperatures at which these superconductors function are stillwell below room temperature. Realizing superconductivity atroom temperature remains a key challenge in physics; thatdiscovery would revolutionize electronics as electrical deviceswould operate without losing energy. Edanz Group Japan | 23
  24. 24. Topic sentences Easier to read Indicates to the reader the main idea of a paragraph Provides the writer with a focus Should be the first sentence of a paragraph Then discuss/explain the topic Summarize with a concluding sentence Beginning → Middle → End Edanz Group Japan | 24
  25. 25. Topic sentences ExampleIn his studies of the conditioned reflex, Pavlovworked almost entirely with dogs and with thesalivary reflex. Implicit in all of his work is the notion thateverything the dog learns from puppyhood on is a result ofthe association of certain events (which happen to occur atthe same time) with the biologically adequate stimulus tosome native response such as withdrawing, struggling,eating, sex behavior, or the like. What the dog can learn…Henry Garrett, “Great Experiments in Psychology” Edanz Group Japan | 25
  26. 26. Sentence length Keep it short & simple We examined numerous peer-reviewed journals: Easy to read articles had an average sentence length of 17 words Sentences that are 15−20 words AVOID long sentences and repetition One sentence: one idea Edanz Group Japan | 26
  27. 27. Goals to aim for … Maximum 25–30 words per sentence Not more than four 30-word sentences in the whole manuscript Use punctuation wisely periods (.) and commas (,) Think about ‘reader expectation’ and match the expectation with the contents Edanz Group Japan | 27
  28. 28. Reader expectation Example Match the expectation with the contents 1All samples were collected at the same time (10 AM)every day to prevent any effects of circadian variationand then stored after treatment at 5°C until assayed. 2?All prevent any effects of circadian variation, (10 collected allTo samples were collected at the same time we AM) everyday to prevent any effects (10circadian variation.samples at the same time of AM) every day.They were then stored after treatmentassayed.Samples were then stored at 5°C until at 5°C until assayed. Edanz Group Japan | 28
  29. 29. Simple is bestSimple language IS bestMakes YOUR science more relevantMinimizes confusion – maximizes understandingScience is often complex Use simple language to help more people understand your work Edanz Group Japan | 29
  30. 30. Simple words Examples PREFERRED AVOID more additional enough adequate clear apparent try attempt show demonstrate try endeavor very exceedingly Edanz Group Japan | 30
  31. 31. Unnecessary words Further examples PREFERRED AVOID Because For the reason that First In the first place Soon In the not too distant future Four Four in number Green Green color After Subsequent to Before Prior to Usually Except in a very few instances Edanz Group Japan | 31
  32. 32. Common mistakes Past vs. present tense Use past tense to describe your resultsOur results showed that gene expression was inhibited byTGFβ. Use present tense to discuss what is already known TGFβ is an important regulatory protein that controls many key cellular functions. Edanz Group Japan | 32
  33. 33. Common mistakes Comparisons Frequently made in the Results section Compare “like” with “like” Avoid ambiguity Use with, NOT toThe tumor excised from the pancreas was compared with theliver.The tumor excised from the pancreas was compared withthat from the liver. Edanz Group Japan | 33
  34. 34. Avoiding ambiguity ComparisonsRelative terms, such as more, higher and greater,require a reference for comparisonUse than or compared with Reactions with the new thermal cycler were faster. Faster than what? Reactions with the new thermal cycler were faster than those with the old cycler. Edanz Group Japan | 34
  35. 35. Avoiding ambiguity Word choiceUse specific languageAvoid generalizing or using vague terminology We analyzed the results using the usual rigorous criteria. What criteria? We analyzed the results using the Student’s t-test. Edanz Group Japan | 35
  36. 36. Online resources Paradigm Online Writing Assistanthttp://www.powa.org/ Springer Exemplarhttp://www.springerexemplar.com/ Google Scholarhttp://scholar.google.com/ Purdue Online Writing Labhttp://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/ Edanz Group Japan | 36
  37. 37. Help your readers understand“If you can’t explain something simply,you don’t understand it well.” – Albert Einstein Write to express NOT impress Structure your manuscript for easy readabilityConsider your audience – their native languagemay not be English Edanz Group Japan | 37
  38. 38. Resources and links http://edanzediting.co.jp/osaka120313 This presentation Templates Guidelines Edanz Group Japan | 38
  39. 39. Any questions? Edanz Group Japan | 39
  40. 40. Appendix Simple words Prefer Avoid size magnitude aim objective take part participate done performed asked requested lives resides keep retain Edanz Group Japan | 40
  41. 41. Appendix Simple words Prefer Avoid later subsequently enough sufficient end terminate use utilization Edanz Group Japan | 41
  42. 42. Language Hyphens Hyphen (-): for joining usually separate words Incorrect use can lead to ambiguity twenty-four hour reactions is different to twenty four-hour reactions Edanz Group Japan | 42
  43. 43. Language DashesEn dash (–): means “through” October 26–29; pp. 2–5. (don’t use ~)Em dash (—): Used to break a sentence, introducesomething, or introduce an afterthought.These two metals—that is, titanium and magnesium—are very light. Edanz Group Japan | 43
  44. 44. Language Asian fonts Beware of Asian fonts, such as MS Mincho and SimSum DO NOT use Asian fonts in your manuscripts 、 ,;()× % < > ℃ ,;()× Why not? Because they look like this on some computers: □ or ? Edanz Group Japan | 44
  45. 45. Numbers in the text General rulesSpell out the numbers one through nine and usenumerals for 10 and greater, except: Units of measurement 2 mL, 4 min Beginning a sentence Two patients with… Reporting a series including numerals We enrolled 5 patients with AD, 12 with PD and 20 control individuals. Reporting numbers consecutively five 2-mL tubes Reporting a range including a number greater than nine 5–12 Edanz Group Japan | 45
  46. 46. Numbers in the text General rules Always use a space between numbers and units 10 mL not 10mL No space is needed before % 56% The word “of” should be used to describe amounts 6 mg of caffeine was … The word “of” is not needed for concentrations rats were administered 6 mg/mL caffeine Edanz Group Japan | 46
  47. 47. ComparisonsExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared withnon-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared with p53levels in non-smokersExpression levels of p53 in smokers were compared withthose in non-smokers Edanz Group Japan | 47
  48. 48. Comparisons Between & among Use between for comparisons of two groups… the only difference between the original molecule andthe new molecule is ... Use among for comparisons of more than two groups… significant differences were observed in the H valuesamong bio-, fully- and semi-synthetic molecules Edanz Group Japan | 48
  49. 49. Respectively Respectively is often misused by non-native English speakers. Use respectively only if your sentence would be unclear without it. Use to refer to two corresponding lists, but not more Edanz Group Japan | 49
  50. 50. Respectively ExampleOxygen detector flow Nitrogen detector flow Hydrogen detector flow85 mL/min 7 mL/min 4 mL/minThe oxygen detector flow was set at 85 mL/min; thenitrogen detector flow was set at 7 mL/min; and, thehydrogen detector flow was set at 4 mL/min. 28 wordsOxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen detector flows were setat 85, 7 and 4 mL/min, respectively. 15 words Edanz Group Japan | 50
  51. 51. Language Colons & semi-colons Colons (:) are used to introduce a list or a clause that explains what precedes it Semicolons (;) are used to separate the items in a list too long for commas or where commas could be ambiguous. Use ‘and’ before the last item in the list.There are a number of journals for surgery manuscripts:General Surgery, published by Springer; the WorldJournal of Emergency Surgery, published by BioMedCentral; and the British Journal of Surgery, produced byWiley & Sons. Edanz Group Japan | 51
  52. 52. Language UK or US spellingBe consistent Check the journal’s Guide for Authors Generally, American journals require US spelling andBritish journals require British spelling, but many accepteither form as long as the spelling used is consistent fibre or fiber centre or center labelling or labeling colour or color Exceptions: Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare; your references Edanz Group Japan | 52