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Extraordinary
                          Experiences
                         Is it Real, or is it Hallucination?
         ...
Extraordinary
                          Experiences




Monday, March 16, 2009
Extraordinary
                          Experiences
                   • Overview




Monday, March 16, 2009
Extraordinary
                            Experiences
                   • Overview
                   • What are Extraord...
Extraordinary
                            Experiences
                   • Overview
                   • What are Extraord...
Extraordinary
                            Experiences
                   • Overview
                   • What are Extraord...
Overview




Monday, March 16, 2009
Overview

                   • Introductions




Monday, March 16, 2009
Overview

                   • Introductions
                   • Bereavement vs. Grief vs. Mourning



Monday, March 16, ...
Overview

                   • Introductions
                   • Bereavement vs. Grief vs. Mourning
                   • ...
Loss




Monday, March 16, 2009
Loss

                   • Bereavement




Monday, March 16, 2009
Loss

                   • Bereavement
                   • Grief



Monday, March 16, 2009
Loss

                   • Bereavement
                   • Grief
                   • Mourning


Monday, March 16, 2009
Why Consider EEs




Monday, March 16, 2009
Why Consider EEs

                   • Promote Mourning Process




Monday, March 16, 2009
Why Consider EEs

                   • Promote Mourning Process
                   • Common




Monday, March 16, 2009
Why Consider EEs

                   • Promote Mourning Process
                   • Common
                   • Real to O...
Why Consider EEs

                   • Promote Mourning Process
                   • Common
                   • Real to O...
Why Consider EEs

                   • Promote Mourning Process
                   • Common
                   • Real to O...
Description of EEs




Monday, March 16, 2009
Description of EEs

                   • Categorizations




Monday, March 16, 2009
Description of EEs

                   • Categorizations
                   • Responses



Monday, March 16, 2009
Description of EEs

                   • Categorizations
                   • Responses
                   • Authenticity
...
Description of EEs

                   • Categorizations
                   • Responses
                   • Authenticity
...
Definition of EEs




Monday, March 16, 2009
Definition of EEs

                   • Spontaneous




Monday, March 16, 2009
Definition of EEs

                   • Spontaneous
                   • Previous uncommon occurrence



Monday, March 16, ...
Definition of EEs

                   • Spontaneous
                   • Previous uncommon occurrence
                   • ...
Categories of EES




Monday, March 16, 2009
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence




Monday, March 16, 2009
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence

                   •     Auditory




Monday, March 16, 2009
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence

                   •     Auditory

                   •     V...
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence

                   •     Auditory

                   •     V...
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence

                   •     Auditory

                   •     V...
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence

                   •     Auditory

                   •     V...
Categories of EES
                   •     Feeling Presence

                   •     Auditory

                   •     V...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Categories of EES
                   •                        •
                         Feeling Presence       4th party
...
Common Responses




Monday, March 16, 2009
Common Responses
                   • Permission




Monday, March 16, 2009
Common Responses
                   • Permission
                   • Relief




Monday, March 16, 2009
Common Responses
                   • Permission
                   • Relief
                   • Strengthened Faith




M...
Common Responses
                   • Permission
                   • Relief
                   • Strengthened Faith
     ...
Common Responses
                   • Permission
                   • Relief
                   • Strengthened Faith
     ...
Common Responses
                   • Permission           • Freedom
                   • Relief
                   • Stre...
Common Responses
                   • Permission           • Freedom
                   • Relief               • I’m Not A...
Common Responses
                   • Permission           • Freedom
                   • Relief               • I’m Not A...
Common Responses
                   • Permission           • Freedom
                   • Relief               • I’m Not A...
Common Responses
                   • Permission           • Freedom
                   • Relief               • I’m Not A...
Test of Authenticity




Monday, March 16, 2009
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?




Monday, March 16, 2009
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?

                   •     Pattern?




Monday, March...
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?

                   •     Pattern?

                ...
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?

                   •     Pattern?

                ...
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?

                   •     Pattern?

                ...
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?

                   •     Pattern?

                ...
Test of Authenticity
                   •     Suggestive of deceased?

                   •     Pattern?

                ...
Universal Message




Monday, March 16, 2009
Universal Message

                 I’m okay and you can be okay, too.




Monday, March 16, 2009
Using EEs in Therapy




Monday, March 16, 2009
Using EEs in Therapy
                         Not for every therapist




Monday, March 16, 2009
Using EEs in Therapy
                         Not for every therapist
                         -   Open-minded




Monday,...
Using EEs in Therapy
                         Not for every therapist
                         -   Open-minded
           ...
Using EEs in Therapy
                         Not for every therapist
                         -   Open-minded
           ...
Using EEs in Therapy
                         Not for every therapist
                         -   Open-minded
           ...
Therapist’s Function




Monday, March 16, 2009
Therapist’s Function
                   • Timing of an inquiry




Monday, March 16, 2009
Therapist’s Function
                   • Timing of an inquiry
                   • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigm...
Therapist’s Function
                   • Timing of an inquiry
                   • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigm...
Therapist’s Function
                   • Timing of an inquiry
                   • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigm...
Therapist’s Function
                   • Timing of an inquiry
                   • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigm...
Therapist’s Function
                   • Timing of an inquiry
                   • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigm...
Key Questions




Monday, March 16, 2009
Key Questions
                   •     What’s different?




Monday, March 16, 2009
Key Questions
                   •     What’s different?

                   •     Who is it from?




Monday, March 16, 2...
Key Questions
                   •     What’s different?

                   •     Who is it from?

                   •  ...
Key Questions
                   •     What’s different?

                   •     Who is it from?

                   •  ...
Key Questions
                   •     What’s different?

                   •     Who is it from?

                   •  ...
Key Questions
                   •     What’s different?

                   •     Who is it from?

                   •  ...
Key Questions
                   •                            •
                         What’s different?          Expres...
Key Questions
                   •                            •
                         What’s different?          Expres...
Key Questions
                   •                            •
                         What’s different?          Expres...
Key Questions
                   •                            •
                         What’s different?          Expres...
Key Questions
                   •                            •
                         What’s different?          Expres...
Key Questions
                   •                            •
                         What’s different?          Expres...
Affirming/Responding




Monday, March 16, 2009
Affirming/Responding
               • Write




Monday, March 16, 2009
Affirming/Responding
               • Write
               • Sing




Monday, March 16, 2009
Affirming/Responding
               • Write
               • Sing
               • Chant



Monday, March 16, 2009
Affirming/Responding
               • Write
               • Sing
               • Chant
               • Post


Monday, Ma...
Affirming/Responding
               • Write
               • Sing
               • Chant
               • Post
            ...
Affirming/Responding
               • Write             • Ritualize
               • Sing
               • Chant
          ...
Affirming/Responding
               • Write             • Ritualize
               • Sing              • Symbolize
        ...
Affirming/Responding
               • Write             • Ritualize
               • Sing              • Symbolize
        ...
Affirming/Responding
               • Write             • Ritualize
               • Sing              • Symbolize
        ...
Affirming/Responding
               • Write             • Ritualize
               • Sing              • Symbolize
        ...
Dangers




Monday, March 16, 2009
Dangers
                   • Loss of self-reliance




Monday, March 16, 2009
Dangers
                   • Loss of self-reliance
                   • Failure to seek deeper communion




Monday, March...
Dangers
                   • Loss of self-reliance
                   • Failure to seek deeper communion
                 ...
Dangers
                   • Loss of self-reliance
                   • Failure to seek deeper communion
                 ...
Dangers
                   • Loss of self-reliance
                   • Failure to seek deeper communion
                 ...
Dangers
                   • Loss of self-reliance
                   • Failure to seek deeper communion
                 ...
My Heart Will Go On




Monday, March 16, 2009
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Extraordinary Experiences Part 1

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Louis LaGrand calls those strange things that happen after the death of a love one "Extraordinary Experiences."

Published in: Health & Medicine, Technology
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Extraordinary Experiences Part 1

  1. 1. Extraordinary Experiences Is it Real, or is it Hallucination? Using Mystery to Aid Mourners J. Worth Kilcrease, LPC, FT Monday, March 16, 2009
  2. 2. Extraordinary Experiences Monday, March 16, 2009
  3. 3. Extraordinary Experiences • Overview Monday, March 16, 2009
  4. 4. Extraordinary Experiences • Overview • What are Extraordinary Experiences (EEs) Monday, March 16, 2009
  5. 5. Extraordinary Experiences • Overview • What are Extraordinary Experiences (EEs) • Using EEs in Therapy Monday, March 16, 2009
  6. 6. Extraordinary Experiences • Overview • What are Extraordinary Experiences (EEs) • Using EEs in Therapy • Warnings Monday, March 16, 2009
  7. 7. Overview Monday, March 16, 2009
  8. 8. Overview • Introductions Monday, March 16, 2009
  9. 9. Overview • Introductions • Bereavement vs. Grief vs. Mourning Monday, March 16, 2009
  10. 10. Overview • Introductions • Bereavement vs. Grief vs. Mourning • Why consider EEs? Monday, March 16, 2009
  11. 11. Loss Monday, March 16, 2009
  12. 12. Loss • Bereavement Monday, March 16, 2009
  13. 13. Loss • Bereavement • Grief Monday, March 16, 2009
  14. 14. Loss • Bereavement • Grief • Mourning Monday, March 16, 2009
  15. 15. Why Consider EEs Monday, March 16, 2009
  16. 16. Why Consider EEs • Promote Mourning Process Monday, March 16, 2009
  17. 17. Why Consider EEs • Promote Mourning Process • Common Monday, March 16, 2009
  18. 18. Why Consider EEs • Promote Mourning Process • Common • Real to Observer Monday, March 16, 2009
  19. 19. Why Consider EEs • Promote Mourning Process • Common • Real to Observer • Need to Share Monday, March 16, 2009
  20. 20. Why Consider EEs • Promote Mourning Process • Common • Real to Observer • Need to Share • Personal Growth and Affects Identity Monday, March 16, 2009
  21. 21. Description of EEs Monday, March 16, 2009
  22. 22. Description of EEs • Categorizations Monday, March 16, 2009
  23. 23. Description of EEs • Categorizations • Responses Monday, March 16, 2009
  24. 24. Description of EEs • Categorizations • Responses • Authenticity Monday, March 16, 2009
  25. 25. Description of EEs • Categorizations • Responses • Authenticity • Universal Message Monday, March 16, 2009
  26. 26. Definition of EEs Monday, March 16, 2009
  27. 27. Definition of EEs • Spontaneous Monday, March 16, 2009
  28. 28. Definition of EEs • Spontaneous • Previous uncommon occurrence Monday, March 16, 2009
  29. 29. Definition of EEs • Spontaneous • Previous uncommon occurrence • Originates from outside Monday, March 16, 2009
  30. 30. Categories of EES Monday, March 16, 2009
  31. 31. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence Monday, March 16, 2009
  32. 32. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence • Auditory Monday, March 16, 2009
  33. 33. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence • Auditory • Visual Monday, March 16, 2009
  34. 34. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence • Auditory • Visual • Olfactory Monday, March 16, 2009
  35. 35. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence • Auditory • Visual • Olfactory • Dreams Monday, March 16, 2009
  36. 36. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence • Auditory • Visual • Olfactory • Dreams • Symbolic Monday, March 16, 2009
  37. 37. Categories of EES • Feeling Presence • Auditory • Visual • Olfactory • Dreams • Symbolic • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  38. 38. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • Auditory • Visual • Olfactory • Dreams • Symbolic • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  39. 39. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • • Auditory Out-of-body • Visual • Olfactory • Dreams • Symbolic • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  40. 40. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • • Auditory Out-of-body • • Visual Animals & Birds • Olfactory • Dreams • Symbolic • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  41. 41. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • • Auditory Out-of-body • • Visual Animals & Birds • • Olfactory Psi Kappa • Dreams • Symbolic • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  42. 42. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • • Auditory Out-of-body • • Visual Animals & Birds • • Olfactory Psi Kappa • • Dreams Synchronicity • Symbolic • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  43. 43. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • • Auditory Out-of-body • • Visual Animals & Birds • • Olfactory Psi Kappa • • Dreams Synchronicity • • Symbolic Crisis apparition/Premonition • 3rd Party Monday, March 16, 2009
  44. 44. Categories of EES • • Feeling Presence 4th party • • Auditory Out-of-body • • Visual Animals & Birds • • Olfactory Psi Kappa • • Dreams Synchronicity • • Symbolic Crisis apparition/Premonition • • 3rd Party Telepathic Thoughts Monday, March 16, 2009
  45. 45. Common Responses Monday, March 16, 2009
  46. 46. Common Responses • Permission Monday, March 16, 2009
  47. 47. Common Responses • Permission • Relief Monday, March 16, 2009
  48. 48. Common Responses • Permission • Relief • Strengthened Faith Monday, March 16, 2009
  49. 49. Common Responses • Permission • Relief • Strengthened Faith • I’m Still Loved Monday, March 16, 2009
  50. 50. Common Responses • Permission • Relief • Strengthened Faith • I’m Still Loved • The Body Dies, Love Doesn’t Monday, March 16, 2009
  51. 51. Common Responses • Permission • Freedom • Relief • Strengthened Faith • I’m Still Loved • The Body Dies, Love Doesn’t Monday, March 16, 2009
  52. 52. Common Responses • Permission • Freedom • Relief • I’m Not Alone • Strengthened Faith • I’m Still Loved • The Body Dies, Love Doesn’t Monday, March 16, 2009
  53. 53. Common Responses • Permission • Freedom • Relief • I’m Not Alone • Strengthened Faith • Advice • I’m Still Loved • The Body Dies, Love Doesn’t Monday, March 16, 2009
  54. 54. Common Responses • Permission • Freedom • Relief • I’m Not Alone • Strengthened Faith • Advice • I’m Still Loved • Hope of Reunion* • The Body Dies, Love Doesn’t Monday, March 16, 2009
  55. 55. Common Responses • Permission • Freedom • Relief • I’m Not Alone • Strengthened Faith • Advice • I’m Still Loved • Hope of Reunion* • The Body Dies, • Reduce Fear of Love Doesn’t Dying* Monday, March 16, 2009
  56. 56. Test of Authenticity Monday, March 16, 2009
  57. 57. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? Monday, March 16, 2009
  58. 58. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? • Pattern? Monday, March 16, 2009
  59. 59. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? • Pattern? • Solace? Monday, March 16, 2009
  60. 60. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? • Pattern? • Solace? • Intuitive feeling? Monday, March 16, 2009
  61. 61. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? • Pattern? • Solace? • Intuitive feeling? • Encouraging? Monday, March 16, 2009
  62. 62. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? • Pattern? • Solace? • Intuitive feeling? • Encouraging? • Spiritual Awareness? Monday, March 16, 2009
  63. 63. Test of Authenticity • Suggestive of deceased? • Pattern? • Solace? • Intuitive feeling? • Encouraging? • Spiritual Awareness? • DID IT BRING PEACE? Monday, March 16, 2009
  64. 64. Universal Message Monday, March 16, 2009
  65. 65. Universal Message I’m okay and you can be okay, too. Monday, March 16, 2009
  66. 66. Using EEs in Therapy Monday, March 16, 2009
  67. 67. Using EEs in Therapy Not for every therapist Monday, March 16, 2009
  68. 68. Using EEs in Therapy Not for every therapist - Open-minded Monday, March 16, 2009
  69. 69. Using EEs in Therapy Not for every therapist - Open-minded - On-going familiarity Monday, March 16, 2009
  70. 70. Using EEs in Therapy Not for every therapist - Open-minded - On-going familiarity - Understand various beliefs Monday, March 16, 2009
  71. 71. Using EEs in Therapy Not for every therapist - Open-minded - On-going familiarity - Understand various beliefs - Comfortable with criticism from scientific-oriented colleagues Monday, March 16, 2009
  72. 72. Therapist’s Function Monday, March 16, 2009
  73. 73. Therapist’s Function • Timing of an inquiry Monday, March 16, 2009
  74. 74. Therapist’s Function • Timing of an inquiry • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigma Monday, March 16, 2009
  75. 75. Therapist’s Function • Timing of an inquiry • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigma • Relate to beliefs of mourner Monday, March 16, 2009
  76. 76. Therapist’s Function • Timing of an inquiry • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigma • Relate to beliefs of mourner • Review message received Monday, March 16, 2009
  77. 77. Therapist’s Function • Timing of an inquiry • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigma • Relate to beliefs of mourner • Review message received • Pose questions Monday, March 16, 2009
  78. 78. Therapist’s Function • Timing of an inquiry • Normalizing and neutralizing any stigma • Relate to beliefs of mourner • Review message received • Pose questions • Explore choices for usage Monday, March 16, 2009
  79. 79. Key Questions Monday, March 16, 2009
  80. 80. Key Questions • What’s different? Monday, March 16, 2009
  81. 81. Key Questions • What’s different? • Who is it from? Monday, March 16, 2009
  82. 82. Key Questions • What’s different? • Who is it from? • What is the message? Monday, March 16, 2009
  83. 83. Key Questions • What’s different? • Who is it from? • What is the message? • How can you use it? Monday, March 16, 2009
  84. 84. Key Questions • What’s different? • Who is it from? • What is the message? • How can you use it? • Want to respond? Monday, March 16, 2009
  85. 85. Key Questions • What’s different? • Who is it from? • What is the message? • How can you use it? • Want to respond? • What do you need? Monday, March 16, 2009
  86. 86. Key Questions • • What’s different? Expression of love/ caring? • Who is it from? • What is the message? • How can you use it? • Want to respond? • What do you need? Monday, March 16, 2009
  87. 87. Key Questions • • What’s different? Expression of love/ caring? • Who is it from? • Your expression of love? • What is the message? • How can you use it? • Want to respond? • What do you need? Monday, March 16, 2009
  88. 88. Key Questions • • What’s different? Expression of love/ caring? • Who is it from? • Your expression of love? • What is the message? • How to honor? • How can you use it? • Want to respond? • What do you need? Monday, March 16, 2009
  89. 89. Key Questions • • What’s different? Expression of love/ caring? • Who is it from? • Your expression of love? • What is the message? • How to honor? • How can you use it? • New goal/dream? • Want to respond? • What do you need? Monday, March 16, 2009
  90. 90. Key Questions • • What’s different? Expression of love/ caring? • Who is it from? • Your expression of love? • What is the message? • How to honor? • How can you use it? • New goal/dream? • Want to respond? • What can you do now? • What do you need? Monday, March 16, 2009
  91. 91. Key Questions • • What’s different? Expression of love/ caring? • Who is it from? • Your expression of love? • What is the message? • How to honor? • How can you use it? • New goal/dream? • Want to respond? • What can you do now? • What do you need? • What have you learned? Monday, March 16, 2009
  92. 92. Affirming/Responding Monday, March 16, 2009
  93. 93. Affirming/Responding • Write Monday, March 16, 2009
  94. 94. Affirming/Responding • Write • Sing Monday, March 16, 2009
  95. 95. Affirming/Responding • Write • Sing • Chant Monday, March 16, 2009
  96. 96. Affirming/Responding • Write • Sing • Chant • Post Monday, March 16, 2009
  97. 97. Affirming/Responding • Write • Sing • Chant • Post • Speak Monday, March 16, 2009
  98. 98. Affirming/Responding • Write • Ritualize • Sing • Chant • Post • Speak Monday, March 16, 2009
  99. 99. Affirming/Responding • Write • Ritualize • Sing • Symbolize • Chant • Post • Speak Monday, March 16, 2009
  100. 100. Affirming/Responding • Write • Ritualize • Sing • Symbolize • Chant • Contemplation • Post • Speak Monday, March 16, 2009
  101. 101. Affirming/Responding • Write • Ritualize • Sing • Symbolize • Chant • Contemplation • Post • Mindful Action • Speak Monday, March 16, 2009
  102. 102. Affirming/Responding • Write • Ritualize • Sing • Symbolize • Chant • Contemplation • Post • Mindful Action • Speak • LOVE Monday, March 16, 2009
  103. 103. Dangers Monday, March 16, 2009
  104. 104. Dangers • Loss of self-reliance Monday, March 16, 2009
  105. 105. Dangers • Loss of self-reliance • Failure to seek deeper communion Monday, March 16, 2009
  106. 106. Dangers • Loss of self-reliance • Failure to seek deeper communion • Relying on questionable guidance Monday, March 16, 2009
  107. 107. Dangers • Loss of self-reliance • Failure to seek deeper communion • Relying on questionable guidance • False sense of security Monday, March 16, 2009
  108. 108. Dangers • Loss of self-reliance • Failure to seek deeper communion • Relying on questionable guidance • False sense of security • Failing to perform grief work Monday, March 16, 2009
  109. 109. Dangers • Loss of self-reliance • Failure to seek deeper communion • Relying on questionable guidance • False sense of security • Failing to perform grief work • Universal need for continuing bond Monday, March 16, 2009
  110. 110. My Heart Will Go On Monday, March 16, 2009

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