Personal Development and You


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Everyone can benefit from pursuing personal development in their life but it is not always an easy task. There is a lot of work that needs to be done to create the life we desire. Ask anyone living their dream life and they will let you know the work was worth it.

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Personal Development and You

  1. 1. Personal Development and You development- and- you/ March 23, 2013Why are so many people hesitant to start personaldevelopment coaching?It can be very tough and scary to admit where we areunhappy in life.Chances are if you admit where you are unhappysomeone you care about will be hurt by what you have tosay.This holds us back from expressing what we need toexpress.You think by burying those feelings deep down inside you are protecting others.They will never have to know how you truly feel.I am going to tell you something you already know.You are going to hurt them anyway and here is why….When you go through life feeling unhappiness and grudgingly accepting that this isjust the way life was meant to be and you accept it you are lying to yourself.Every day that passes that you lie to yourself you grow more negative towardsyourself internally.Our external world is a direct reflection of our internal world.If you are experiencing an increasingly negative external world you are most likelyunhappy internally. Take a quick moment to reflect on how your life really is rightnow.You tell yourself you should be happy because of how great your life is and yetthe negativity and anger just builds and builds.When we try to bottle up our unhappiness we usually explode in a raging ball ofemotions over the smallest of things.Then we argue or fight with the ones we love and the hurt feelings happenanyway.
  2. 2. For all the wrong reasons. Not that you want to hurt someone’s feelingsintentionally but now the message you are trying to express will be muddied bythe negativity.Sound familiar?By trying to avoid our feelings we create the exact results we didn’t want.Personal development creates the self-awareness and confidence you need tofully express yourself through conscious choice not with a feeling of being out ofcontrol.Your Body Tells the TaleThe alternative is to continue trying to go it alone and potentially cause more thanhurt feelings like actual physical damage to your body.Your body will always physically show your feelings no matter how good you thinkyou are at hiding them.As my wife so lovingly says “Tell your face that!” every time I try to hide awayfrom what is affecting me by saying I’m fine or nothing’s wrong. Just a bunch oflies to avoid looking bad which makes me look bad because I lied.Our bodies can only handle so much internal stress before our physical wellbeingsuffers also.Notice I said internal stress. This is because our outside stresses are not reallystress at all being we can’t control them.When we can’t control something we needn’t be stressed by it. But that is a postfor another day.Right now I simply want you to focus on those negative internal feelings you haveand discover where they may be coming from. What triggers those feelings?I want you to also recognize where you carry those feelings in your body. Is ityour neck, lower back or stomach?Show me a happy person and they will walk differently than an unhappy person.They will have better posture, make more eye contact and generally exudepositive energy.They will give you a quick smile even though they don’t know you. Just because.
  3. 3. A Quick Personal StoryI know how personal development can make a difference because I haveexperienced it. Right before my career with lululemon athletica ended I had theopportunity to be coached by someone who wanted the best for me.I also wanted to be coached which is key to successful personal development.She helped me discover how I was angry with myself for never having taken thechance at following what my goals were. At the time I didn’t even know exactlywhat those goals were which made me even angrier.I just knew what I was doing wasn’t satisfying me but I loved parts of it likecoaching and needed help clarifying what I was meant to do.Without digging around like that I would have continued to drift away from familyand friends believing I could figure it all out on my own. I couldn’t and withoutpersonal development the people I love would have been the ones who sufferedeven longer.Ask for help. There is nothing wrong with it.By developing a heightened state of self-awareness through personaldevelopment I learned to read my own body to the point where I could consciouslychoose my actions not just react.I still do over react in certain situations but I am working hard at figuring out whatthe triggers are so I can control those emotions.Where does my stress show up? One of my eyes will go completely bloodshotred and I look like a terminator or that I have pink eye. I also have a spot rightunder my left shoulder blade that knots instantly.How about yours?Take Action Request:The next time you feel the urge to bottle up feelings you wished you couldexpress I want you to write down in your journal exactly what you wish you couldhave said and how your body physically felt in the moment. This is the first stepin being able to acknowledge what you are feeling and starting to recognize howyour body reacts to those feelings.The more you write the more you will become confident to physically express inwords how you feel.
  4. 4. I want you to have the best life and it doesn’t matter to me if you choose to coachwith me as long as you coach with someone. We could all use a little help nowand then.Darrin WigginsP.S. This is not designed as a sales pitch but merely a way for you to consider thepossibilities personal development can create for you. I spent many yearsresisting taking on my “uglies” and I hope you don’t make that same mistake.“What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? Ifyou want to be truly happy you must be that person.” – Quentin Crisp