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How to kill software quality in five steps


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Presentation from my Ignite Talk at DevOpsDays Warsaw 2019 and Agile, Testing & DevOps Showcase Amsterdam 2020

Published in: Software
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How to kill software quality in five steps

  1. 1. How to kill software quality in five steps @walmyrlimaesilv
  2. 2. The origin of this talk
  3. 3. About me
  4. 4. Let’s get started.
  5. 5. Step 1 - Don’t care about design patterns and clean code
  6. 6. Instead, write as much spaghetti code as possible
  7. 7. Also, refuse linting tools. They will block your creativity.
  8. 8. Step 2 - Do not test your application
  9. 9. But if you want to test, don’t do it in an automated way. This is a waste of time.
  10. 10. Test manually instead, and just what you changed/added
  11. 11. Step 3 - Avoid refactoring
  12. 12. Instead, leave the campground dirtier than you found it
  13. 13. Step 4 - Don’t use continuous integration (CI)
  14. 14. Instead, make the feedback loop as difficult as possible
  15. 15. This way, no one can blame you when you break something
  16. 16. Step 5 - Never listen to user’s feedback
  17. 17. In the end, they never know what they want anyway
  18. 18. Recapping 1. Do not care about design patterns and clean code 2. Do not test your code 3. Avoid refactoring 4. Don’t use CI 5. Never listen to the users
  19. 19. If you follow these five steps I guarantee that you will be able to sabotage and kill the quality of your software project.
  20. 20. The End.