FAWL Negotiating with Alice in Wonderland


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Alice's adventures in Wonderland upend Victorian gender roles for women and give us an example to lead by. As one critic said, "Alice’s reality is one where women author their own tales, work out their own problems, expect the extraordinary, and speak their minds."

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FAWL Negotiating with Alice in Wonderland

  1. 1. Alice’sAdventures in Negotiation Land The DisneyWorld VersionFlorida Association of Women Lawyers Orlando, Florida September 20, 2012
  2. 2. Alice’s reality is one where women author their own tales,work out their own problems, expect the extraordinary,and speak their minds.
  3. 3. Negotiation
  4. 4. recognize theopportunity to negotiate
  5. 5. Get yourpartner tocome toyour side ofthe line
  6. 6. • Yielding/Ingra tiation• Shaming• Persuasive argument• Promises of future action• Threats of future action• Physical force
  7. 7. Negotiation is Just aConversation Leading to Agreement
  8. 8. Build trust• Food, touch• Similarity• Small talk• Likeability
  9. 9. • Kind• Nurturing• Emotional• Weak• Indecisive• Patient• Tolerant• Afraid of conflict
  10. 10. Stereotype threat – anxiety when you believe you mightconfirm a negative stereotype about your social group.
  11. 11. Gender Blow Back
  12. 12. • Ask for something you want & haven’t been able to get• Tell partner who she is; why she keeps saying “no”• Start conversation with offer
  13. 13. Male Bargaining AdvantagesFeel bargaining advantageFeel entitled to more rewardsLess likely to back downUse more distributive tacticsFeel entitled to informationSeen as stronger speakers than womenSeek more powerIntimidate
  14. 14. Female Bargaining Advantages• Take broad or collective perspective• Task interconnected and interdependent• See the big picture• Formulate systematic plan• Share experiences• Look for mutual gain
  15. 15. Within six months of taking top-flight negotiation courses, less than 40% of the womenwere using the skills they learned, compared to 98% of their male counterparts. When asked why, they said they believed that many of the learned negotiation strategies,tactics and skills were inconsistent with who they believed they were as women, and specifically in conflict with their identity and how they saw themselves.
  16. 16. We work 22%longer and10% faster for the same reward
  17. 17. What theheck are wethinking?????
  18. 18. They’ll notice what I’m doing and reward me
  19. 19. If they don’t reward me, I don’t deserve it
  20. 20. I’ll offend someone and be punished
  21. 21. I’d rather be happy than rich
  22. 22. It’s selfish to ask for myself
  23. 23. • Every negotiation is a mixed motive exchange• What are the rules?• What interests is each player serving?• When there are no rules, you can make them up yourself
  24. 24. • Two suspects• Insufficient evidence to convict• Offer – 1 confesses & implicates partner – Prisoners’ Dilemma 1 freed; partner gets 10-year sentence – Both confess and implicate the other, each receive 5-year sentence. – both remain silent, 6-months in jail.• Optimal choice for both cooperate for six-month jail sentence.• The optimal choice for individual suspect is to rat out his partner and secure his own freedom.• What is the rational decision?
  25. 25. • If both play red card (uncooperative) each member of pair earns 3 points.• If both play black card (cooperative), each member of pair earns 4 points.• If one plays red card & partner plays black, red card earns 5 & black earns 0 points.• The choice is cooperate or betray. Begin play by holding your card of choice up to your chest.• On 1, 2, 3, play the card of your choice & record your score.
  26. 26. Tit for Tat
  27. 27. Interest Based Negotiation: Expand pie of benefits to satisfy as many needs, desires, preferences and priorities as possible (“interests”).
  28. 28. The costof a thingis theamount oflife youhave totrade forit now orin thefuture.
  29. 29. CreateValue
  30. 30. Identify Interests
  31. 31. Anchor
  32. 32. Frame
  33. 33. LogRoll
  34. 34. Exercise Trade somethingthat is low cost to you but high value to her – five minutes each.
  35. 35. Bracketing & Hypothetical Offers
  36. 36. Offer Contingencies
  37. 37. CompetitiveBargaining
  38. 38. Negotiating with Difficult People
  39. 39. Perceptions of PowerWhy JerksGet Ahead
  40. 40. Are they difficult orsimply uninformed – Educate them about their true interests, consequences of their actions, our BATNA – Help them understand what is in their best interest – Determine whether they’ve misunderstood or ignored a crucial piece of information
  41. 41. Are they irrational or operating under hidden constraints – Institutional – Precedential – Promises to others • Hidden stakeholders – Deadlines
  42. 42. Are they liars, cheats and thieves or do they have hidden interests?• Personal (unrelated to you or deal);• Relational (related to you but not to deal, i.e., “face”);• Political, social, cultural
  43. 43. Close