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SxSW 2011 Sexual Survival For Geeks

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Sexual Survival for Geeks by Violet Blue is a crash course in sex, one night stands, flirting with geeks and sex-meets-social-media, all in the context of tech convention hook-ups. Presented at SxSW 2011 and covered by CNN, MSNBC, NPR and many more. Find additional information at thetotalflirt.com/SXSEXY

Published in: Education
  • The guys in that video are a little spooky. I wrote a response to the slide show on my blog here

    http://trenderqueer.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-response-to-sexual-survival-for.html

    - Sean M
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  • See also: additional SlideShare document that goes with this - Flirting for Geeks http://www.slideshare.net/violetblue/flirting-for-geeks-sexual-survival-for-geeks-sxsw-2011
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  • This video is part of the CNN coverage of the talk; my answers were stitched together and did not represent what was said at the time of the interview. I will add video of the talk as it becomes available, especially in hopes of an accurate representation of the talk and its hundreds of attendees.
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SxSW 2011 Sexual Survival For Geeks

  1. 1.    
  2. 2. HAVE A PLAN <ul><ul><li>The SXSW SIS test: Sociability, Icebreakers, Shared Interests. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How will you deal with sexual opportunity? Friends, one night only, bootycall mate, dating? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be clear about what you want. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be cool with your roommates. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Decide what you'll share with potential lovers. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Make rules about what you will and won't do, and stick to them. </li></ul></ul>
  3. 3. GEEK FLIRTING <ul><ul><li>Know gender sexual stereotypes in geek scenes. Learn geek sex communication nuances. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Prep conversation topics, make a self-check physicality system. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Pick targets. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Stick to positive communication. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Don't take it too personally or expect anything. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Decide if it's tonight, tomorrow or never. Plan exit strategies. </li></ul></ul>
  4. 4. HOOKING UP <ul><ul><li>How to know they want you. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Alcohol, drugs and sex: &quot;too drunk&quot; and risk assessment. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How consent works (know how to say yes or no). </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Decide your SXSW sexual rules, and do your best to follow them. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Negotiating sex: sex acts to expect. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Safer sex tips. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Make your post-sex intention clear. </li></ul></ul>
  5. 5. THE NEXT DAY <ul><ul><li>Zero out your expectations. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Be neutral, but don't ignore - or PDA. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>If you made a mistake or were lied to, make a plan. Don't make them a Foursquare location. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Don't brag, or fuck their friends or coworkers. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>If you want to see them again, invite them to something you are already doing. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Stay on track with SXSW. </li></ul></ul>
  6. 6. SOCIAL MEDIA SXSEX <ul><ul><li>Don't @ reply about last night's hot sex. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Don't expect reciprocity, or work opportunities. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Message a follow-up; cement friendly impermanence or build communication. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>To pursue, don't let 2 days go by. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Avoid confrontational communication channels. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>(Do your best to) get their consent before tagging photos. </li></ul></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><ul><li>Find this presentation, Austin sex resources, geek flirting tips, safer sex charts, and explicit SXSW erotica at thetotalflirt.com/ SXSEXY </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Get a Geek Sexual Survival discount at Babeland.com  for 10% of all orders with the code VIOLETBLUE </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Find handpicked geek sex gear at Babeland.com/violetblue </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Find more Violet Blue and all things sex and tech at tinynibbles.com and @violetblue </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Special thanks:  Babeland.com , illustrator @MartinWhitmore , author @AlisonTyler , SFSI.org , my superb PA Juliette Stray, SXSW support staff and, always, @dotBen . </li></ul>

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