Quotes & Jokes


Published on

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Total views
On SlideShare
From Embeds
Number of Embeds
Embeds 0
No embeds

No notes for slide

Quotes & Jokes

  1. 1. O.K., Then I Just Thought It Would Be A Nice Way To Read Quotes, jokes, etc.,Rather Than The Usual Way. Hope You All Will Enjoy Going Through Them!
  2. 2. Our inner conflicts often tear us apart... and that's why God made us friends, to mend that which was torn, and to make it whole again. No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.
  3. 3. If you want to see the rainbow, you will have to be able to put up with the rain. Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
  4. 4. Thieves Respect Property. They Merely Wish The Property To Become Their Property That They May More Perfectly Respect It. I don't need your attitude. I already have one.
  5. 5. Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering. How Dogs and Women are alike..... Neither believe that silence is golden. Neither can balance a checkbook. Both put too much value on kissing.
  6. 6. "Is your advertising getting results?" asked one business owner. "It sure is," moaned the second owner. "Last week we advertised for a night watchman ... and the next night we were robbed." Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores? Its called, "101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
  7. 7. The body is a house of many windows: there we all sit, showing ourselves and crying on the passers-by to come and love us. I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. I am. I am. I am.
  8. 8. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
  9. 9. If you jogged backward ... Would you gain weight? Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? That's how dogs spend their lives.
  10. 10. "A man falls in LOVE through his eyes, a woman through her ears." " Love me when I least deserve it - because that is when I need it."
  11. 11. My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.
  12. 12. The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another.. When a Bostonian “pahks”" his ”cah”," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a T exan to ”warsh”" his car and invest in “”erl” wells." English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway. .