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Getting from
“Chat”
To ChaCha
Baby!
Finding Mrs Right…
…and getting to
Mrs Right Now!
In this session….
Strangers are strange…why do they do what
they do?
Dating for mating….how can we arouse interest
Getting “Lucky”….using the Casanova Strategy
Coded Behaviour: TheAmygdalaInAction
Fight or Flight
Quick think
Triggers
Conditioned
Responses
& Coded
Behaviour
Combatting Coded Behaviour
De Bono’s explanation of
Collaborative ThinkingArgumentative Theory
September 2013| Page 5
The 4 Processing Styles (Honey & Mumford 1985)
Let me think more
about it, I need to
understand all angles
before I try it.
If this was
combined with
that, it could really
fly!
Prove it works,
then I’ll do it
right away
Sounds good,
I’ll do it!
Activist
Theorist
Reflector
Pragmatist
Time
Speed
Information
Evidence
Know…Like….Trust: takes time…and “touch”
ATTENTION
INTEREST
(Intrigue...)
DESIRE...
ACTION
Publicity,
Advertising,
or Presence
Google
you
View
LinkedIN &
website
Views
Video
Listen to
Podcast or
webinar
Download
Whitepaper
Newsletter
or ezine
subscription
Follows on
Social Media
Follow
Blog
1 on 1
interaction
SALES
PROCESS
Engagement Process
Aug 19, 2014 | Page 8
The 4 Decision Making Stages:
Aug 19, 2014 | Page 9
Social Engagement + Relevant Content =
Opportunities
The Basics of ANY successful relationship
Taking it offline: Establishing Common
Understanding
• Common Problems lead to common
understanding.
• Common Problems are most powerful in
the 3rd
Person Perspective (‘them”, “they”)
• 3rd
Person provides “distance”, and
negates argumentative or challenging
conversation
• Your opposite chooses to engage when
ready, without revealing weaknesses
• You establish empathy and understanding
• Yet….it is still personally relevant
COMMON PROBLEMSTORIES FORMULA
Core Professional Social Skills
Online OR offline….
YouNEED:
Collaborative Thinking + 4 Processing Styles +
Engagement Process + Relationship Basics +
Common Problem Stories + Social Skills
Now we Baby!Cha

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Getting From Chat, to Cha Cha

Editor's Notes

  1. Understand why people behave the way they do helps us convert Mrs Right into Mrs Right Now Need to understand why Mrs Right runs away to begin with
  2. AMYGDALA: the bit of the brain at the top of your back at the bottom of your head The part of the brain that processes quick thinking in times of potential danger Triggers fight or flight responses and other conditioned, or coded behaviours The POINT? We all have one, and all clients have coded behaviour that we have to avoid triggering
  3. When fight or flight is insufficient, we learned to manipulate others. Argumentative behaviour designed to achieve the outcome we want. In response, others developed coded behaviour – recognizing signals we developed rapid response mechanisms to negate the manipulation. A first step in avoiding coded behaviour is to use collaborative thinking….get everyone looking at the same side of the problems, and then everyone moving on to look at the other sides together
  4. Part of the objective is to create Top Of Mind Awareness – have them thinking of you first. They don’t do that from one contact. Demonstrate persistence, patience, knowledge, value, helpfulness…..draw them to you at the time of their choosing, and at the time of their greatest need.
  5. TRUST: a firm belief that a person or thing can be relied upon CONFIDENCE: firm trust…a state of mutual respect….freedom from apprehension….assured expectations UNDERSTANDING: confidence from defined expectations and knowing each others objectives & positions COMMON OBJECTIVES: do not have to be identical, but there has to be common overlap – a win-win. Day 1 as a Part 3 Submariner…..Trust….Confidence…..Understanding…..Common Objectives
  6. EXAMPLE: Recent regulation changes have come thick and fast for financial advisers. There is so much money involved in super and savings these days in Australia that politicians and the vested interests see it as an easy win with the electorate to be forever tampering with the system and being seen to take actions to protect customers – almost regardless of whether the actions they take prevent real problems or not. The impact on financial advisers is disproportionately large, in that many many advisers are finding that they are having to push up prices and fees for the very people they are trying to help and protect, and that is making advice for many Australians simply unaffordable. The advisers are having to put fees up because costs of meeting the regulatory changes are rising so fast, so the effect is that all the good intentions create pricing pressure that actually prevents customers getting great advice.