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Quaker Dialogue
       and other



     Most open group discussions are characterized by an aggressive
competition for fl...
Quaker values emphasize respect for
each individual. Over the years they
have evolved a process that enables
dialogue grou...
The Process
   A question is formulated that each person is asked
    to address.
   Each person speaks in turn, usually...
The power of this process is remarkable. It needs to
be experienced to be fully appreciated. If, for example,
   there are...
There is freedom to really listen because
   one is not simply waiting for a pause to
 jump in. People are not cut off, pu...
It also promotes respect and understanding
   of a diversity of viewpoints. The process
   can work well even with widely ...
COMMUNITY AND
COMMUNICATION

 Community cannot exist without communication, and
      the way people communicate determine...
THE TAO OF DIALOGUE

 "Dialogue is not just talking with one another.
  More than speaking, it is a special way of
  list...
"DIALOGUE" COMES FROM THE
GREEK "DIALOGOS"

 Logos means "the word," or in our case we would
  think of "the meaning of t...
Dialogue & Flow

  The image this derivation suggests is of a stream of
     meaning flowing among us and through us and
...
Possible Rules for Dialogue
 Suspend Roles and                 Befriend Polarization
    Status                         ...
Politeness and Pretending


Chaos


Discarding and Redefining


Resolution


Closure
     Thomas@Neuville.net
DEVELOP THE ART OF…
 Speaking authentically
 Speaking fully one's mind and heart
 Listen deeply and suspend judgment
 ...
Clearness Committee
 Within the Religious Society of Friends the clearness
  committee represents a process for discernme...
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Quaker Dialogue

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Most open group discussions are characterized by an aggressive competition for floor time by a few dominant individuals and withdrawal by those who are more soft spoken or less successful at "jumping in."  This leads to a general atmosphere where no one really listens to the other points of view and those who do speak often feel (rightly) that they are not really being heard.  The problem is exacerbated when the viewpoint expressed are widely divergent or controversial.

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Quaker Dialogue

  1. 1. Quaker Dialogue and other Most open group discussions are characterized by an aggressive competition for floor time by a few dominant individuals and withdrawal by those who are more soft spoken or less successful at "jumping in." This leads to a general atmosphere where no one really listens to the other points of view and those who do speak often feel (rightly) that they are not really being heard. The problem is exacerbated when the viewpoint expressed are widely divergent or controversial. Thomas@Neuville.net
  2. 2. Quaker values emphasize respect for each individual. Over the years they have evolved a process that enables dialogue groups to function without the negative side-effects. The process is deceptively simple: Thomas@Neuville.net
  3. 3. The Process  A question is formulated that each person is asked to address.  Each person speaks in turn, usually going around a circle.  Anyone may pass and take their turn later if they don't feel ready when their turn comes around.  Each speaker takes as long as needed to fully express himself or herself, consistent with the number of people in the group and the time available.  No one is allowed to comment on or rebut anyone else's statement. Thomas@Neuville.net
  4. 4. The power of this process is remarkable. It needs to be experienced to be fully appreciated. If, for example, there are 10 people in the group, each person can speak until they are satisfied that they have expressed themselves fully and been truly heard. Furthermore, each person spends 90% of the time listening. Thomas@Neuville.net
  5. 5. There is freedom to really listen because one is not simply waiting for a pause to jump in. People are not cut off, put down, or squeezed out. The goal is not to "win" the argument or convert the other person to a particular point of view, but in fact this open process promotes growth and change by promoting full expression and real listening. Thomas@Neuville.net
  6. 6. It also promotes respect and understanding of a diversity of viewpoints. The process can work well even with widely divergent or potentially hostile points of view being expressed. Thomas@Neuville.net
  7. 7. COMMUNITY AND COMMUNICATION Community cannot exist without communication, and the way people communicate determines the quality of individual and group relationships. Healthy communication reconciles differences, deepens intimacy, fosters a sense of wholeness, and opens individuals to a broader view of themselves and of others. It is the primary avenue by which a group moves from functional to conscious community. Thomas@Neuville.net
  8. 8. THE TAO OF DIALOGUE  "Dialogue is not just talking with one another. More than speaking, it is a special way of listening to one another - listening without resistance…it is listening from a stand of being willing to be influenced."  Sarita Chawla as quoted in Dialogue. Thomas@Neuville.net
  9. 9. "DIALOGUE" COMES FROM THE GREEK "DIALOGOS"  Logos means "the word," or in our case we would think of "the meaning of the word,"  and dia means "through" (not two -- dialogue can be among any number of people; even one person can have a sense of dialogue within him- or herself if the spirit of the dialogue is present). Thomas@Neuville.net
  10. 10. Dialogue & Flow  The image this derivation suggests is of a stream of meaning flowing among us and through us and between us -- a flow of meaning in the whole group, out of which will emerge some new understanding, something creative. When everybody is sensitive to all the nuances going around, and not merely to what is happening in one's own mind, there forms a meaning which is shared And in that way we can talk together coherently and think together. It is this shared meaning that is the "glue" or "cement" that holds people and societies together. Thomas@Neuville.net
  11. 11. Possible Rules for Dialogue  Suspend Roles and  Befriend Polarization Status  Speak when Moved  No Leader  Suspend (reveal)  No Task Assumptions  No Decisions  Devalue Consistency  Listen and Speak  Maintain a Spirit of without Judgement Inquiry  Slow down the Inquiry Thomas@Neuville.net
  12. 12. Politeness and Pretending Chaos Discarding and Redefining Resolution Closure Thomas@Neuville.net
  13. 13. DEVELOP THE ART OF…  Speaking authentically  Speaking fully one's mind and heart  Listen deeply and suspend judgment  Seek to understand diverse viewpoints  Engage in the spirit of inquiry  Incorporate verbal and non-verbal communication  Building capacity for mindful attention Thomas@Neuville.net
  14. 14. Clearness Committee  Within the Religious Society of Friends the clearness committee represents a process for discernment. Clearness Committees are often used when a member of the meeting seeks to reach clarity on how to respond to a concern or dilemma. Because Friends believe that every person has within him or her that of supreme excellence, sometimes called the inner light, the process is one of aiding the person seeking clearness in finding the answer within rather than seeking outside advice or guidance. A clearness committee can be requested by anyone for any reason and will usually be appointed by one of the standing committees of the meeting. Thomas@Neuville.net

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