Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter<br />Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development ...
Our Agenda<br />Understanding Our Crucial Conversations<br />Considering Our Usual Response<br />Developing a Leader’s Voi...
Understanding Our Crucial Conversations<br />
What makes a conversation “CRUCIAL”?<br />Strong Emotions<br />Varied Opinions<br />High <br />Stakes<br />
Persuasive or Abrasive?<br />These conversations can feel like a verbal ‘tug-of-war’ … that no one wins. <br />
What happens during these conversations?<br />
Considering Our Usual Response<br />
How do we take in information?<br />
How does this go wrong?<br />
Climbing a Ladder Of Communication<br />
The Ladder of Inference<br />Actions<br />Believe<br />Conclusion<br />Assume<br />Add Meaning<br />Filter<br />Observe <b...
Ladder of Inference  - An Example<br />I’m going to quit sharing information with Jack and encourage others to do the same...
Developing ALeader’s Voice<br />
When we communicate, we hope our hearers will…<br />Understand<br />Agree<br />Care<br />Take Appropriate Action<br />
The Brain and Communication “Channels”<br />
The 3 Communication “Channels”:<br />FACTS<br />SYMBOLS<br />EMOTIONS<br />
FACTS<br />“We worship at the ‘altar of data’…”<br />“Facts alone seldom persuade and rarely inspire.”<br />
FACTS: Telling the Story<br />
EMOTIONS<br />“We follow leaders because of how they make use feel …<br /> …yet the very process of becoming a leader crea...
EMOTIONS: Creating a Connection<br />
SYMBOLS<br />“…symbols are the shortcuts to the great truths that guide our lives.”<br />“If a leader does not define bran...
SYMBOLS: Make Shared Meaning<br />
FACTS, EMOTIONS, AND SYMBOLS…<br />What happens when a piece is missing?<br />
FACTS, EMOTIONS, & SYMBOLS…<br />What happens when a piece is missing?<br />Lack of Understanding<br />Lack of Agreement<b...
Putting it All Together:<br />TOOLS TO HELP US<br />SPEAK UP & SPEAK OUT<br />
#1: Get A Grip<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
#2: Slow Down<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
#3: Collect Your Thoughts<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
#4: Get Organized<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
#5: Don’t Forget To End<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter<br />Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development ...
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Speak Up, Speak Out

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Speak Up, Speak Out

  1. 1. Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter<br />Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development Educator<br />
  2. 2. Our Agenda<br />Understanding Our Crucial Conversations<br />Considering Our Usual Response<br />Developing a Leader’s Voice<br />
  3. 3. Understanding Our Crucial Conversations<br />
  4. 4. What makes a conversation “CRUCIAL”?<br />Strong Emotions<br />Varied Opinions<br />High <br />Stakes<br />
  5. 5. Persuasive or Abrasive?<br />These conversations can feel like a verbal ‘tug-of-war’ … that no one wins. <br />
  6. 6. What happens during these conversations?<br />
  7. 7. Considering Our Usual Response<br />
  8. 8. How do we take in information?<br />
  9. 9. How does this go wrong?<br />
  10. 10. Climbing a Ladder Of Communication<br />
  11. 11. The Ladder of Inference<br />Actions<br />Believe<br />Conclusion<br />Assume<br />Add Meaning<br />Filter<br />Observe <br />
  12. 12. Ladder of Inference - An Example<br />I’m going to quit sharing information with Jack and encourage others to do the same. <br />Jack is unreliable and doesn’t care about this project. <br />Jack is always late. <br />I remember Jack being late to other meetings too. <br />Jack walked in to our 7 am meeting at 7:45 am. <br />
  13. 13. Developing ALeader’s Voice<br />
  14. 14. When we communicate, we hope our hearers will…<br />Understand<br />Agree<br />Care<br />Take Appropriate Action<br />
  15. 15. The Brain and Communication “Channels”<br />
  16. 16. The 3 Communication “Channels”:<br />FACTS<br />SYMBOLS<br />EMOTIONS<br />
  17. 17. FACTS<br />“We worship at the ‘altar of data’…”<br />“Facts alone seldom persuade and rarely inspire.”<br />
  18. 18. FACTS: Telling the Story<br />
  19. 19. EMOTIONS<br />“We follow leaders because of how they make use feel …<br /> …yet the very process of becoming a leader creates emotional distance.”<br />
  20. 20. EMOTIONS: Creating a Connection<br />
  21. 21. SYMBOLS<br />“…symbols are the shortcuts to the great truths that guide our lives.”<br />“If a leader does not define brand, vision, or strategy symbolically, constituents will.”<br />
  22. 22.
  23. 23. SYMBOLS: Make Shared Meaning<br />
  24. 24. FACTS, EMOTIONS, AND SYMBOLS…<br />What happens when a piece is missing?<br />
  25. 25. FACTS, EMOTIONS, & SYMBOLS…<br />What happens when a piece is missing?<br />Lack of Understanding<br />Lack of Agreement<br />Lack of Caring<br />Lack of Appropriate Action<br />
  26. 26. Putting it All Together:<br />TOOLS TO HELP US<br />SPEAK UP & SPEAK OUT<br />
  27. 27. #1: Get A Grip<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
  28. 28. #2: Slow Down<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
  29. 29. #3: Collect Your Thoughts<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
  30. 30. #4: Get Organized<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
  31. 31. #5: Don’t Forget To End<br />Tools for your Crucial Conversations<br />
  32. 32. Speak Up, Speak Out:Be Persuasive, Not Abrasive, on Topics that Matter<br />Tara Kuipers, MSNW Area Community Development Educator<br />

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