…but who do not see.
Jose Saramago, author, Blindness
What I hope we are able to do today together
More sight, less blindness about our own
resistance and that in others
Deepen and broaden our understanding and
acceptance of it
Practice recognizing and responding to it
What would you like to accomplish today?
Recap from last week
What do you
from last week?
Why are we blind to signs of resistance?
Seduced by it
Blind to our
What are people really concerned
Tip: when you encounter resistance, look for
concerns of vulnerability or control
What are some fears clients may have when
seeking the help of a consultant?
I might lose
I am vulnerable
If we were Buddhists..
MostMost of the steps to enlightenment involve the self—
knowing one’s own mind.
Tonight we start with the self in regards to
How do you show resistance?
What are the underlying concerns it is
Case study of you
With a partner:
Describe a time when you have been the helper or client.
What did your resistance look like?
What underlying concerns (vulnerability, control) did the
manifestation of resistance hide?
What would have helped you to feel like you could share
your underlying concerns?
Dealing with Resistance a la Block
Go with it—resistance to resistance is futile!
Encourage full expression so it passes
Help the client state the feelings underneath the
behaviors directly—by expressing it, it can pass
Take three steps
Three Steps (it sounds so easy!)
Faces of Resistance
Give me more detail, flood with detail, confusion,
silence, intellectualizing, attack, compliance, flight
Nonverbal: Looking at the time, moving away
from you, bent over, shaking head
Listen to your own cues
What other forms have you encountered?
Practice as a group: naming the resistance
The “it’s not my
Looking back and moving forward
What forms of resistance might you have already
encountered in your consulting project?
What do you anticipate you will encounter?
How will you and your partner respond to the
And don’t forget about these as resistance
Exploring issues of control and vulnerability in the
Using active inquiry (pure inquiry) and listening a la Schein
to remain present and avoid being seduced by allure of
Schein’s principles: ask yourself, am I being helpful? Am I
accessing my ignorance? Am I avoiding judgment? Am I
going with the flow and allowing the client to reveal pain
Special challenges of the internal
What are some of them?
Triangles and Squares Rectangles
The Man The Other Man