Crucial Conversations In Social Media
The truth you should know about the art of conversation today Kelsey Ruger Got Social Media 2008 Friday, January 22, 2010

I know you're out there.
I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you Neo - The Matrix Friday, January 22, 2010

How Does The Matrix fit
with Social Media? Friday, January 22, 2010

The Matrix offers an excellent
allegory for our highly COMMERCIALIZED, MEDIA DRIVEN society. Industrialization Standardization Depersonalization Today’s business world isn’t that different than the world of STRUCTURE and CONTROL created by the machines in the Matrix. Friday, January 22, 2010

Social Media offers a great
OPPORTUNITY for businesses to reconnect with people. if they realize that business today is not necessarily REPRESENTATIVE of REAL WORLD desires. Friday, January 22, 2010

Markets are conversations. The Cluetrain
Manifesto Friday, January 22, 2010

e oes th What d
on on versati word c rea lly mea n? Markets are conversations. The Cluetrain Manifesto e ’tw a ren ving W hy a t h ns? Wha o d a tio t ar go rsa e th nve bas e co con ics of vers atio How n? can w impro e ve ev eryda conve y rsatio n? Friday, January 22, 2010

Your company can have Engaging
Conversations with employees and clients Friday, January 22, 2010

you must understand the FOUR
ways communicating with MARKETS has CHANGED Friday, January 22, 2010

MARKET IDEA No 1 Technology
has given us power. The time of the the passive masses has passed. Friday, January 22, 2010

MARKET IDEA No 2 We
live in an attention economy. Lots of people are talking but not everyone is actively listening. Friday, January 22, 2010

MARKET IDEA No 3 New
ways of communicating inside and outside organizations don’t exactly mesh with the ‘corporate norm’ Friday, January 22, 2010

MARKET IDEA No 4 We
don’t want to be ‘talked at’ but rather ‘talked to’ Friday, January 22, 2010

Why Conversation and Social Media?
Friday, January 22, 2010

Conversation is a FUNDAMENTAL part
of being HUMAN. For centuries COMMERCE was largely based on conversation and the INTERACTION BETWEEN PEOPLE. Friday, January 22, 2010

‘‘ ‘‘ The human condition
changes, yet never changes. The fears, hopes and desires of a Babylonian 5,000 years ago probably closely matches our own fears, hopes and desires. Friday, January 22, 2010

Because companies have not evolved...
commerce has been effectively divorced from people the on whom it depends Friday, January 22, 2010

Social media tools don’t make
the CONVERSATION they support it. By understanding how social media support the HUMAN DESIRE for CONVERSATION businesses can open up vibrant INTERACTIONS with INDIVIDUALS and COMMUNITIES. Friday, January 22, 2010

The Matrix was about the
struggle between man and machine but it parallels some of the struggles that are emerging between many businesses and consumers. Friday, January 22, 2010

What is a Conversation? Friday,
January 22, 2010

What is a Crucial Conversation?
Friday, January 22, 2010

When a crucial conversation occurs
you have THREE choices ... Friday, January 22, 2010

avoid the conversation, and suffer
the consequences. Friday, January 22, 2010

handle the conversation poorly and
suffer the consequences Friday, January 22, 2010

discover how to communicate best
when it matters most. Friday, January 22, 2010

Why are Crucial Conversations so
important? Friday, January 22, 2010

We benefit from more ACCURATE
and RELEVANT information Make BETTER CHOICES, and are more WILLING TO ACT on whatever decision they all make. Friday, January 22, 2010

The nature of conversation and
verbal exchange is surprisingly ENDURING even across culture and time... Friday, January 22, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

So are there real RIGHTS
and WRONGS in conversation? Cicero thought so... Friday, January 22, 2010

Cicero wrote the essay “On
Duties” in 44BC. In it he set forth the following rules, which all could still apply today and even to the latest form of blogging “conversations”... 1. Speak clearly 2. Speak easily, but not too much, give others their turn 3. Do not interrupt 4. Be courteous 5. Deal seriously with serious matters, gracefully with lighter ones 6. Never criticize people behind their backs 7. Stick to subjects of general interests 8. Do not talk about yourself 9. Never lose your temper Friday, January 22, 2010

Why Do We Suck At
Crucial Conversations? Friday, January 22, 2010

Do you work in a
Command and Control Environment? Conversations are where INTELLECTUAL CAPITAL gets generated, but conversations flourish only in an atmosphere of FREE and OPEN exchange. Friday, January 22, 2010

Does n dialo ope ur
g tak re D oes yo prece denc e the dialo g ge e zat ion wa e ove Ar of organi ? deba te? r l s ine cross s? internal wars a en t a rtm d ep If you can't GET YOURSELF RIGHT you'll have a Do dem peopl and e hard time getting conversations right. inst resp ead of e ect resp arn ect ing ? e l eb op and Do p n pe nt eople Ca pare hout pract s wit ice ac an ? tive tr ful cified listen truth cru ing sk ills? g b ein Friday, January 22, 2010

We live is a CULTURE
OF CONFLICT where winning is everything. Friday, January 22, 2010

Friday, January 22, 2010

Most people when in an
argument don't have a goal of LISTENING, instead we use every possible tactic to win. The ARGUMENT CULTURE urges us to approach the world and the people in it with an adversarial frame of mind. Friday, January 22, 2010

Most people when in an
argument don't have a goal of LISTENING, instead we use every possible tactic to win. The ARGUMENT CULTURE urges us to approach the world and the people in it with an adversarial frame of mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPuGuaZTx8 Friday, January 22, 2010

The Forgotten Art of Dialog
The key to successful conversation is being open and honest in expressing opinions, feelings, and theories, and having a willingness to share views even when the ideas in question are controversial or unpopular. Friday, January 22, 2010

Critique and Criticism are not
the same thing. critique in this sense is not a general term for analysis or critical review but rather a synonym for criticism. Friday, January 22, 2010

3 Practices to Start Your
Conversations Friday, January 22, 2010

PRACTICE 1: Get to know
who you are talking to. Friday, January 22, 2010

PRACTICE 2: Listening is more
important than talking Friday, January 22, 2010

PRACTICE 3: If you’re going
to be talking - have something important to say. Friday, January 22, 2010

There are SIX stories you
need to master ... Friday, January 22, 2010

I just met you Who
Are You anyway? The first question people ask themselves the minute they realize you want to influence them is "who is this person". A story helps them see what you want them to see about you. If you demonstrate who you are, rather than tell me who you are, it is much more believable. A story lets you demonstrate who you are. “Why Am I” story - The Story Factor Friday, January 22, 2010

What does this person Want
From Me? Before you let someone know what's in it for them, they want to know what's in it for you. It's a big mistake to try to hide selfish goals. This type of story usually reveals enough for people to make a distinction between healthy ambition and dishonest exploitation. If your goals are selfish, people don't mind as long as you are up-front about it, there is something in it for them, and you frame your goals in a way that makes sense to them. “Why Are I Here” story - The Story Factor Friday, January 22, 2010

OK, so What’s in it
for Me? If your listeners are comfortable with who your are and why you are here, then they are ready to listen to what you think is in it for them. You have to take the time to find a story of your vision that that connects with people clearly. “Vision” story - The Story Factor Friday, January 22, 2010

OK, so What Do You
Stand For? Without a doubt the best way tell people your values in by demonstration. The second best way is by telling a story. Story lets you instill values in a want that keeps people thinking for themselves. “Values in Action” story - The Story Factor Friday, January 22, 2010

How Did You Know What
I Was Thinking? When you tell a story that makes people wonder if you are reading their minds, they love it. It isn’t hard to do. If you have done your homework on the group you wish to influence it’s easy to identify their objections. “I Know What You Are Thinking” story - The Story Friday, January 22, 2010

What Are My Next Steps?
1. Listen, Look and Learn. 2. Start Having Real Conversations. Friday, January 22, 2010

Kelsey Ruger http://www.themoleskin.com Friday, January
22, 2010