African Traditional Marriage And Courtship as it relates to my Yoruba culture.
Introduction• Family is the most sacred and significant institution to the Yorubas.• It is: – Child centered – Ruled by the elderly – Controlled by adults – Assures safety – Teaches the first lessons of Discipline, Personal Gratitude and Affection.
Question• How do we get there or how do we establish that foundation? ---MARRIAGE--- A marriage based on truth, honor, integrity and Godly principles establishes the foundation for family.
The Yoruba Traditional Process• Young males between the ages of 23 and 28 years and females between the ages of 18 and 25: a. Are both expected to be gradually identifying potential spouses. b. The male is expected to have acquired skills that will allow/enable him to provide for his future family. c. Young female would have learned some of the preliminary skills she will need to be a wife and mother from watching her mother and older females in her family. d. The young male’s determination to visit the house of his potential spouse is a final proof of readiness to engage in a serious relationship. ***Must inform his father before taking this step. There are parental duties that must be carried out.
Six Steps To The Actual Marriage1. Time for seeking the potential spouse – (Igda ifojusode)2. The approval of the oracle-divinity – (Ifa fore)3. The release of the voice of the young woman – (Isihun)4. The request for the young woman’s hand in marriage – (Itoro)5. The creation of the affinal bond – (Idana)6. The transfer of the wife to the husband’s lineage – (Igbeyawo)
CREATION OF THE AFFINAL BOND Idana – Payment of the bride-wealth.• The items in the package all have symbolic value they reiterate for enhancing the goals and objectives of the Yoruba family.• Key Items:1. Honey2. Salt3. Palm Oil4. Kola Nut5. Bitter Kola6. Pen7. Bible/Koran8. Candle9. Money
Prayer Significance of Each Item• Honey: This is honey, the quality of honey is sweetness. May your married life be sweet, happy and blessed with many children and money to take care of them.• Salt: This is salt, it preserves and enhances taste, may you be preserved in your lives so that you live long and see your children’s children.• Palm Oil: This is palm oil, it reduces the hash taste of pepper in the stew. May the harsh impact of difficult times be ameliorated.• Kola Nut: This is kola nut, It produces prolifically. May your wife be as fertile as the kola nut tree and be blessed with many children who survive and do great things in life.
Prayer Significance of Each Item (continued)• Bitter Kola: This is bitter kola, it means that you will leave long and see your children achieve great things in life.• This is a Pen: We use it to write. Education is the means to greatness. May your children learn to read and write and become famous through achievement in education.• The Bible/Koran: It is the holy book of power. May your faith provide direction to you in life.• Candle: It lights the way. May the word of of God provide the light that will guide you through life.• Money: Money is needed for fulfillment and enjoyment of life. May you be blessed with plenty of it in your life time.
Roles (Not all inclusive but sets the stage)• Roles of the husband: – Provider – Protector – Leader – Priest of the family• Roles of the wife: – Supporter of the husband (Loyal Partner) – Mother of the home – Norture the children – She holds the family together
Roles Continued (Not all inclusive but sets the stage)• Roles of the in-laws: – Advocate and supporter of the family – Councellor in good and bad times – Must be non-intrusive – Must be transparent and nonpartial in family matters
Summary* FAMILY is the root of MARRIAGE and MARRIAGE is the foundation of FAMILY