How to Break Up Well
Justin Young
Chinese Community Church of Indianapolis
Pastor of English (↓) and Youth (↑) Ministries
Micah
 age 4
Elia
age 2
Why


              ?
does
breaking up
hurt
so much
How to Break Up Well
Don’t
Stay single.
Don’t
Stay single.
Don’t
        Marry your first.
Attractive
Attractive


Godly
Attractive


        Ready
Godly   for marriage
        and more
Attractive


        Ready
Godly   for marriage
        and more
Decide
Diverging
         paths




Decide
Diverging
         paths

         Habitual
         relationship



Decide
Diverging
         paths

         Habitual
         relationship

         Constant
Decide   combat
Diverging
         paths

         Habitual
         relationship

         Constant
Decide   combat

         Sexual
    ...
Diverging
         paths

         Habitual
         relationship

         Constant
Decide   combat

         Sexual
    ...
Diverging
         paths

         Habitual
         relationship

         Constant
Decide   combat

         Sexual
    ...
Do
Heartbreaker
Talk
               with God.




Heartbreaker
Talk
               with God.

               Clarify
               the bad and good.

Heartbreaker
Talk
               with God.

               Clarify
               the bad and good.

Heartbreaker   Plan
              ...
Talk
               with God.

               Clarify
               the bad and good.

Heartbreaker   Plan
              ...
Talk
               with God.

               Clarify
               the bad and good.

Heartbreaker   Plan
              ...
Heartbroken
Let go
              with persistence & patience.



Heartbroken
(x1y1)s+1+            (x2y2)s+1 
        x = # of exes
        y = total years with exes
        s = sexual relationships
...
Let go
              with persistence & patience.

              Address
              your emotions.
Heartbroken
4Qs
What are you angry about?
4Qs
What are you angry about?
      Who/what are you missing?
4Qs
What are you angry about?
      Who/what are you missing?
4Qs   What are you learning?
What are you angry about?
      Who/what are you missing?
4Qs   What are you learning?
      What do you need now?
Let go
              with persistence & patience.

              Address
              your emotions.
Heartbroken
        ...
Let go
              with persistence & patience.

              Address
              your emotions.
Heartbroken
        ...
Gospel
Honesty


Gospel
Honesty

         Empathy
Gospel
Honesty

         Empathy
Gospel
         Conviction
Honesty

         Empathy
Gospel
         Conviction

         Hope
“He will wipe every tear from their
eyes. There will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain, for
the old order of ...
Q&A
bit.ly/mccabreakup
How to Break Up Well
How to Break Up Well
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  • Sense of rejection - Loss [time, money, friends] - Force to let go - Youthful idealism; Gospel > Things are not as they ought to be (Gen 3)

























































  • “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) / “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)


  • “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) / “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)


  • “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) / “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)


  • “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) / “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)







  • How to Break Up Well

    1. 1. How to Break Up Well
    2. 2. Justin Young
    3. 3. Chinese Community Church of Indianapolis
    4. 4. Pastor of English (↓) and Youth (↑) Ministries
    5. 5. Micah age 4
    6. 6. Elia age 2
    7. 7. Why ? does breaking up hurt so much
    8. 8. How to Break Up Well
    9. 9. Don’t
    10. 10. Stay single. Don’t
    11. 11. Stay single. Don’t Marry your first.
    12. 12. Attractive
    13. 13. Attractive Godly
    14. 14. Attractive Ready Godly for marriage and more
    15. 15. Attractive Ready Godly for marriage and more
    16. 16. Decide
    17. 17. Diverging paths Decide
    18. 18. Diverging paths Habitual relationship Decide
    19. 19. Diverging paths Habitual relationship Constant Decide combat
    20. 20. Diverging paths Habitual relationship Constant Decide combat Sexual promiscuity
    21. 21. Diverging paths Habitual relationship Constant Decide combat Sexual promiscuity Unfaithful actions
    22. 22. Diverging paths Habitual relationship Constant Decide combat Sexual promiscuity Unfaithful actions Parental objections
    23. 23. Do
    24. 24. Heartbreaker
    25. 25. Talk with God. Heartbreaker
    26. 26. Talk with God. Clarify the bad and good. Heartbreaker
    27. 27. Talk with God. Clarify the bad and good. Heartbreaker Plan the time and place.
    28. 28. Talk with God. Clarify the bad and good. Heartbreaker Plan the time and place. Communicate with honesty and humility.
    29. 29. Talk with God. Clarify the bad and good. Heartbreaker Plan the time and place. Communicate with honesty and humility. Listen but be clear and firm.
    30. 30. Heartbroken
    31. 31. Let go with persistence & patience. Heartbroken
    32. 32. (x1y1)s+1+ (x2y2)s+1  x = # of exes y = total years with exes s = sexual relationships higher total = more drama
    33. 33. Let go with persistence & patience. Address your emotions. Heartbroken
    34. 34. 4Qs
    35. 35. What are you angry about? 4Qs
    36. 36. What are you angry about? Who/what are you missing? 4Qs
    37. 37. What are you angry about? Who/what are you missing? 4Qs What are you learning?
    38. 38. What are you angry about? Who/what are you missing? 4Qs What are you learning? What do you need now?
    39. 39. Let go with persistence & patience. Address your emotions. Heartbroken Participate in community.
    40. 40. Let go with persistence & patience. Address your emotions. Heartbroken Participate in community. Enjoy the new normalcy.
    41. 41. Gospel
    42. 42. Honesty Gospel
    43. 43. Honesty Empathy Gospel
    44. 44. Honesty Empathy Gospel Conviction
    45. 45. Honesty Empathy Gospel Conviction Hope
    46. 46. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” -Revelation 21:4
    47. 47. Q&A
    48. 48. bit.ly/mccabreakup

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