A social worker visited a prison, as part of a support group. He was shocked to see a man he’d known as a college kid there. The kid had been bright and smart, when the social worker knew him, before he moved away to a different city.He asked the kid, “How did you end up here?”Kid: My father always told me, that I would never amount to anything and deserved to be locked in a prison. So here I am.
AddViggi’s case – Brian is emotionally deprived and feels abandoned, leading him to fall into these life traps.
Hitler wanted to be a priest, when he was a kid. His mother was a Jew, and in fact, he liked Jews. But, after he was forced to fight in the Bavarian army, he lost it…
Oprah had a troubled childhood. In fact, her mom abandoned her, and she was raped by her own cousin at the age of 9. But, her grandma told her that she was ‘gifted’ and that stayed with her through her life.
Transactional Analysis <br />Games People Play<br />
Ego States<br />Ego States in Man<br />Parental<br />Adult<br />Child<br />“Do as I say!”<br />“I’ll be frank with you..”<br />“What shall I do?”<br />
Strokes – the result of hunger<br />Structure Hunger<br />Stimulus Hunger<br />Position <br />Hunger<br />People ‘hunger’ for recognition<br />
Theories governing behaviour<br />Gene theory – I am made that way<br />Make me feel theory – You make me feel<br />You-owe me theory – If only you change<br />Subconscious theory – Suddenly you got hold of me and I could do nothing.<br />The fate theory – It was willed by Him<br />
Types of Strokes<br />Conditional<br />Positive – “You’ve made a fantastic presentation!”<br />Negative – “That was the worst report I ever read.”<br />Unconditional<br />Positive – “You’re a nice guy!”<br />Negative – “I’ve never seen anyone as arrogant as you.”<br /><ul><li>Seek out ways to give more unconditional positive responses.
Listen carefully to positive strokes from others.</li></ul>Everyone occupies a preferred basic life position (BLP).<br />
The Power of Scripts<br />“I won't amount to anything and I deserved to be locked up in a prison”<br />
Life Scripts – Traps <br />Abandonment <br />“I get desperate when someone I love moves away”<br />Mistrust<br />“I’m angry about what people have done to me”<br />Emotional deprivation<br />“I feel disconnected, even from people closest to me” <br />Dependence<br />“I find everyday life overwhelming”<br />
Life Scripts – Traps <br />Vulnerability<br />“Something bad is about to happen”<br />Defectiveness<br />“I’m inherently flawed”<br />Subjugation<br />“If I don’t give in to others, they will reject me”<br />Failure<br />“I don’t have any special talents”<br />
‘Scripting’ your own life<br />Armstrong<br />Alfred Nobel<br />Eminem<br />Harbhajan<br />Helen Keller<br />
Games People Play<br />Greeting<br />“Hello, how are you?”<br />“I’m good, what about you?”<br />Camouflage<br />Indirect hints – barely perceptible <br />“Wow, Bill lost 20 pounds. He looks great!”<br />Corner<br />Damned if you do, damned if you don’t<br />Meeting<br />“Oh, so pleased to meet you!”<br />Wooden Leg <br />Eliciting sympathy – using excuses<br />“How can I be patient with kids? I am short-tempered!!”<br />
Games People Play<br />Switch – reversal in roles/positions<br />The victim-persecutor role reversal<br />Cross – disorientation between the two when switch happens<br />Payoff – person getting justification for inaction and attention<br />
One life – that’s all we have. What do you want to do with yours?<br />