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Digesting Tough Messages<br />Presented by<br /> Marion Stone<br />
Examples of Tough Messages<br />Performance feedback<br />Change<br />Bad news<br />Confronting inappropriate <br />behavi...
Why are they so tough?<br />Fear of the impact on the individual<br />Anxiety that the situation may get worse<br />Discom...
Top 5 ‘Bites’ for Making Messages Digestible<br />Bending Brain Waves<br />Beware the Ass in Assume<br />Change Consciousn...
1. Bending Brain Waves<br />Neuroscience (science of the brain) has some interesting answers to why we behave the way we d...
Emotion and Thinking<br />No Threat<br />Cortex processes a considered decision<br />THREAT!<br />Amygdala triggers a ‘fig...
The Check<br />Recognise that emotional responses are normal<br />Don’t try and solve problems when emotions are running h...
2. Beware the Ass<br />When you Ass-u-me you make an Ass out of U and Me!<br />
The Downward Spiral<br />
The Check<br />The issue is not having the feelings, but what you do with them!<br />Before you engage;<br />Check your as...
3. Change Consciousness<br />Moving on<br />Denial<br />Fear<br />Acceptance<br />Shock<br />Morale & Competence<br />Ange...
The Check<br />Where are you on the change curve?<br />Where will everyone else be?<br />How can you bridge the gap?<br />
4. Protect the Self Image<br />Not yours, theirs!<br />Provocative words that attack the self image will create an emotion...
The Check<br />Prepare what you would like to say<br />Watch your language<br />Stick to the facts<br />Hold up the mirror...
5. Easing the Emotions<br />Once the emotions are there you need to deal with them!<br />To grow something new you need to...
The Tools<br />Add Empathy (fertiliser & water)<br />Dig to Listen<br />
Empathy<br />Identification with and <br />understanding <br />of another's situation, <br />feelings, and motives.<br />N...
Listening<br />Active listening is a<br />BALANCE<br />
Food for Thought<br />“We have two ears, one mouth that we may listen the more and talk the less”<br />Zeno<br />“The more...
The Check<br />How comfortable are you with emotions - do you ignore them and try to move into problem solving mode?<br />...
Top 5 ‘Bites’ for Making Messages Digestible<br />Bending Brain Waves<br />Beware the Ass in Assume<br />Change Consciousn...
What next?<br />Leave me your business card and I will send you the slides<br />Visit my website for more information www....
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Digesting Tough Messages

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Digesting Tough Messages

  1. 1. Digesting Tough Messages<br />Presented by<br /> Marion Stone<br />
  2. 2. Examples of Tough Messages<br />Performance feedback<br />Change<br />Bad news<br />Confronting inappropriate <br />behaviour<br />But as a business owner or manager this is part of what you need to do!<br />
  3. 3. Why are they so tough?<br />Fear of the impact on the individual<br />Anxiety that the situation may get worse<br />Discomfort with resulting emotion<br />
  4. 4. Top 5 ‘Bites’ for Making Messages Digestible<br />Bending Brain Waves<br />Beware the Ass in Assume<br />Change Consciousness<br />Protect the self image<br />Easing Emotions<br />Empathy<br />Listening<br />
  5. 5. 1. Bending Brain Waves<br />Neuroscience (science of the brain) has some interesting answers to why we behave the way we do!<br />
  6. 6. Emotion and Thinking<br />No Threat<br />Cortex processes a considered decision<br />THREAT!<br />Amygdala triggers a ‘fight or flight’ reaction<br />Fast!<br />Hormones released to slow thinking & elevate heart rate<br />
  7. 7. The Check<br />Recognise that emotional responses are normal<br />Don’t try and solve problems when emotions are running high!<br />
  8. 8. 2. Beware the Ass<br />When you Ass-u-me you make an Ass out of U and Me!<br />
  9. 9. The Downward Spiral<br />
  10. 10. The Check<br />The issue is not having the feelings, but what you do with them!<br />Before you engage;<br />Check your assumptions<br />“If you knew that that your fears are unfounded, how would you approach the conversation?”<br />Watch your tone and body language<br />
  11. 11. 3. Change Consciousness<br />Moving on<br />Denial<br />Fear<br />Acceptance<br />Shock<br />Morale & Competence<br />Anger/<br />Frustration<br />Understanding<br />Depression<br />INFORMATION/ EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE/<br />COMMUNICATION SUPPORT DIRECTION<br />
  12. 12. The Check<br />Where are you on the change curve?<br />Where will everyone else be?<br />How can you bridge the gap?<br />
  13. 13. 4. Protect the Self Image<br />Not yours, theirs!<br />Provocative words that attack the self image will create an emotional response – stick to the facts.<br />You are…<br />Your negativity…<br />Your attitude is …<br />Your problem …<br />
  14. 14. The Check<br />Prepare what you would like to say<br />Watch your language<br />Stick to the facts<br />Hold up the mirror and show examples<br />
  15. 15. 5. Easing the Emotions<br />Once the emotions are there you need to deal with them!<br />To grow something new you need to dig, fertilise and water…<br />Learning!<br />
  16. 16. The Tools<br />Add Empathy (fertiliser & water)<br />Dig to Listen<br />
  17. 17. Empathy<br />Identification with and <br />understanding <br />of another's situation, <br />feelings, and motives.<br />NOT Agreement with….<br />
  18. 18. Listening<br />Active listening is a<br />BALANCE<br />
  19. 19. Food for Thought<br />“We have two ears, one mouth that we may listen the more and talk the less”<br />Zeno<br />“The more you say, the less people remember!”<br />Francois Fenelon<br />
  20. 20. The Check<br />How comfortable are you with emotions - do you ignore them and try to move into problem solving mode?<br />Do you articulate your empathy?<br />How much do you really actively listen (enquiry not advocacy)?<br />
  21. 21. Top 5 ‘Bites’ for Making Messages Digestible<br />Bending Brain Waves<br />Beware the Ass in Assume<br />Change Consciousness<br />Protect the Self Image<br />Easing Emotions<br />Empathy<br />Listening<br />
  22. 22. What next?<br />Leave me your business card and I will send you the slides<br />Visit my website for more information www.cornerstoneconnections.co.za<br />Sign up for an informative, free monthly newsletter on my homepage or by leaving me your card.<br />Connect with me via my LinkedIn profile<br />

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