INT. BAR - EVENING
NEAL, BRENT, and ZACH enter a bustling bar and survey their
I really don’t need this, you guys.
Nonsense. Blow off some steam. I’ll
grab some drinks.
Fresh air, or, you know, stale, beerfilled air. It’s good for what ails
Oh my God, “ails you”? “Beer”? Ales
and beer? That’s amazing.
Brent returns holding two beers.
They’ve got a pretty wide selection.
No worries, this is fine.
Zach takes one of the two beers Brent is holding. Brent
glares at him.
All right. I’ve got to go find this
jukebox. My buddy Sharky told me it’s
the best in the city.
You have a friend named Sharky?
His name’s Steve, but he goes by
Dare I ask why?
Um, because he likes sharks. A lot.
He was also bitten by a shark.
Seriously? That’s amazingZACH
And his eyes are on either side of his
head. They’re wicked far apart. Like a
Who are your friends?
Bunch of reasons why he’s Sharky,
actually. All right. Jukebox time.
Zach exits. Brent shakes his head and hands Neal his beer.
They sit at a table.
So what’s got you down?
I don’t know what to say, work’s
INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM - MORNING
Neal walks into a science classroom holding his briefcase and
a stack of papers. He sets them on the front desk.
The day always starts out just fine.
Neal breathes a sigh and sips a cup of coffee.
But then it always goes downhill when
the kids show up.
A bell rings and a horde of high school students scramble
into his classroom.
All right, today, we’re going to talk
about DNA. More like “DN-A Very
INT. SCHOOL TEACHER’S LOUNGE - AFTERNOON
Neal stands with a sack lunch and surveys other teachers
And it doesn’t get any better with
coworkers. The cool teachers don’t
even know I exist.
Three young teachers, DAVE, LANCE, and KRISTA, walk towards
Neal. Neal looks up in hopeful anticipation. The three
teachers hand him their empty cafeteria trays and keep
INT. BAR - MOMENTS LATER
Neal and Brent sit at the table. Neal finishes his beer.
That’s rough man, but I’m sure it’ll
get better. The first year teaching is
always the harshest. So they say.
You know, them. They’re out there.
Neal freezes and locks his eyes on the door. Dave, Lance, and
Oh my God. It’s them.
I was just blowing smoke, Neal. I
really don’t know who they are.
Brent turns around to look.
Wait, is there really someone here?
The cool teachers. I mean, Krista’s in
her third year.
Let’s go. Let’s run out the back.
What? No, way. Man up, bro. Dude.
Brent waves over Dave, Lance, and Krista.
What are you doing!?
Neal hides behind a beer menu. Dave, Lance, and Krista
Oh, look at this one. I love these
hops. I tell ya. I’m very hoppy about
this selectionNeal turns to the three who approached the table.
Oh, hey guys. What’s up? I’m Neal,
Neal Sharpe. I also teach at Mittner.
Oh, right on.
Oh, you know. Just living the dream.
What about y’all? What about you all?
What about? Hmm?
Just blowing off some steam. Brutal
Brent clears his throat.
I’m sorry, I forgot. This is my friend
It’s a pleasure.
“Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” by Guns N’ Roses starts blasting.
Everyone at the table turns to the jukebox where Zach is
standing. He gives them a thumbs up.
Would you guys care to join us?
The cool teachers look around for another open table, see
nothing, shrug, and sit down. Brent leans over to Neal.
Don’t worry man, I can wow them.
Brent waves Neal off and leans in to the other three sitting
at the table.
You guys change lives. I get that.
You bet. I change lives, too.
Are you in education or medicine?
Well, I’m kind of education, I guess?
I’m interning at a law firm now. So I
like to think that I’m teaching as
much as I’m learning.
Brent leans back with a smug look on his face.
How is that teaching?
What does that even mean?
Brent reaches for an empty pint glass and tries to drink out
of it. He plays it off.
So, Brent and I have known each other
since grade school.
The song “Stuck in the Middle With You” blasts from the
jukebox. Brent turns, eyes wide, to Zach who is rocking out.
Did you see that new curriculum that
Sanders submitted? It was...
It was what?
Uninspired. He wanted to do a unit on
problem based learning and didn’t even
to assess prior knowledge.
Everyone laughs heartily, Neal included. Brent laughs late
and keeps laughing after everyone stops.
Oh, my. That is ridiculous.
Do you even know what we’re talking
Sure. I went to high school.
I saw Stand and Deliver.
Dave shakes his head. Brent looks to Neal who shrugs his
shoulders and tries not to make eye contact.
I also saw Dangerous Minds.
Everyone stares blankly at him.
No? Coolio? Gangster’s Paradise?
Brent turns and looks to Zach at the jukebox. “Fantastic
Voyage” by Coolio starts blasting. Brent stands up.
I tee it up and this is what I get?
You’re just being spiteful, because
you know what? Everyone knows
Gangster’s Paradise is a far better
song. You know what? I’m gonna to take
the high road. Something you wouldn’t
know much about.
Everyone is staring blankly at him.
Who needs a drink? I need a drink.
Yes? Beers? Beers. Sounds great.
Brent leans in next to Neal.
(whispering to Neal)
I’m so sorry. I’m on this.
Brent turns to the group.
“Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode starts playing. Brent
grits his teeth and walks away.
So how’s your year going, Neal?
Oh, great. Uh, super great.
Really? My first year was terrible.
Only thing that got me through it was
I’m losing it.
It gets better. And if you ever want
to hang out and talk, or drink, or
whatever, we’re all in the
That’d be really great. Thanks.
People don’t realize how hard teaching
is. They only hear about the perks,
summers off and stuff.
Brent returns holding 5 beers.
Okay, party people. Here’s another
bonus for all of you, beers from a
Brent puts down the beers.
What do you mean, “another” bonus?
You know, lots of stuff, summers offDAVE
We earn out breaks.
“Hey Stoopid” by Alice Cooper starts blasting from the
Excuse me for one moment.
Brent exits and walks over to Zach in the b.g. where Zach is
rocking out. Krista, Dave, and Lance take their beers and
We’re gonna run. Neal, see you Monday.
Sounds great. I didn’t even think you
knew how I was, let alone if you liked
Compared to that guy?
She motions over to Brent who is flailing his arms wildly and
hitting buttons on the jukebox.
What a doucher. You’re just fine.
They exit. Brent returns.
Sorry about that. Had to take care of
business, you know?
Brent cracks his knuckles and looks around.
Where’d they go?
They had to run.
Bummer. I was just warming up.
Brent exhales and takes a long sip from his beer. “Fuck You”
by Cee-Lo Green starts to play. Brent smiles, slowly sets
down his beer, and then quickly walks over to the jukebox.
BRENT (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Damn it, Zach!
Neal shakes his head and drinks his beer.
END OF ACT