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Ad Libitum 05

  1. 1. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005EditorialIt is with great pleasure that we bring to you the third volume of Ad Libitum. The journal hascome quite a distance from its embryonic days as a Microsoft Word document as you will find amore sophisticated version from that of Spring 2003. Peruse these pages and you will discoverbrilliant artists of yore such as Dmitriy Kedrin and Danny Fein, cutting pages with brush and pen.And you will find newer contributors, exquisite in their craft, such as painter RoseMarie Russoand poet Andrena Mason, fleshing stories with their easy strokes. All of these artists create fromexperience, subliminal and real, from their multiple lives as scientists, doctors, students, daughters, sons, spouses, spirits. And so we bid you to devour, Ad Libitum, as much as you desire,when you desire. For this is a gift of expression created from and for our community.Tara Vijayan
  2. 2. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 We would like to thank those members who have continued to support this journal through all of its incarnations: Dr. Albert Kuperman Dr. Santosh Patnaik Mr. Peter Dama Our friends at the Gottesman Library The Graphic Arts Center Carlos and the staff at the Copy Room Dr. Christopher Cimino and the staff in the Department of Computer Based Education Founding Member Tara Vijayan Editor Soumit Roy Project Coordinator Tara Vijayan Promotion Manager Dr. Souvik Sarkar Designed by Soumit Roy" PAGE 1
  3. 3. AD LIBITUM ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 Contents Front cover- color studies using Albert Einstein, by Grace Yu and designed by Dr. Souvik Sarkar Back cover- a pottery during creation, photograph by Sunny Gupta and conceptualized by Soumit Roy 4 A Memory. a story by Talking cat 4 A woman drawing. a painting by Anna Kezerashvili 5 Indestructible. a poem by Dan Cousin 6 Butterfly. a combination of poetry, calligraphy, digital and oil painting by Javani 7 The proposition. a poem by Andrena Mason 7 Bryce Amphitheater. a photograph by Aparna Mukhopadhyay 8 From Ice to art: a journey into the world of Jack frost designs. by Dr. Charles E. Rogler 12 Four short pieces for piano. music by Ron Rice 13 Seven. a painting by Dmitriy Kedrin 14 Pieces of fabric. a poem by Andrena Mason 14 Mother and daughter. a photograph by Dipayan Rudra 15 A world of Inquisition. a poem by Sahana D’Silva 15 Woman with Veil at Morningside Heights. a sketch by Grace Yu 16 Space. a poem by Dan Cousin 16 Untitled. a sketch by Anya Sedletcaia 16 Dusk. a photograph by Souvik Sarkar 17 Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. a photograph by Dr. Jayanta RoyChowdhury 18 Untitled. a batik by Mariya Tarassishina 19 A foreign commute. a memoir by Ninon Higham 19 Bath in central park. a photograph by Grace Marie Jones 20 Olfaction reaction. a poem by Jennifer Wolkin 20 Perfect Vision. a visual piece by Dr. Lucy Firth 21 The Answer. a poem by Dan Cousin 21 Ode to Witt. a poem by Will Obrien 21 In the moment. a photograph and an excerpt from his mind by Robert Karr PAGE 2
  4. 4. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 22 Still life. a painting by RoseMarie Russo 23 I want to expand myself. a poem by Sunny Gupta 24 Haleakala Crater. a photograph by Tarun Dam 24 Free Parking. a short piece by Daniel Fein 25 Winter Memories. a photograph by Shaeri Mukherjee 26 Stairs to heaven. a photograph by Sangeeta Nath 27 Revelation. a photograph by Aparna Mukhopadhyay 29 Graduation. a photograph by C.Geoffrey Lau Ad libitum Where thoughts meet expression.. c Soumit Roy PAGE 3
  5. 5. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 loudly for him knowing that he would ignore me otherwise to inquire him if he would joinA Memory me for a bicycle ride towards the lake, anTalking Cat incredible dark-water oasis between midday1st year PhD student and five o’clock, when the heat is particularlyAs all of the relatives and family members merciless during a blazing Russian summer.dispersed their own ways into the ever As he predictably declined my offer, not lis-familiar and beautiful, unkept depths of the tening to threats that my grandmother con-dacha garden, with its heaps of bright and siders it extremely dangerous and irrespon-scented flowers, some of which reached sible to ride by yourself in our area, Iincredible heights and were joyously spar- sneaked towards the garage in disappoint-kling in the overpowering midday sun, and ment, but still careful to remain unnoticed byas others lazily dozed off in the shades of any adults, in order to take outthe old wooden country house whose nos-talgically creaking floor boards and exquisiteporch and roof designs harked of days whenmy great grandfather had constructed it, myrestless nature, annoyed at my cousins thatrefused to play with me as they grazed onour best blackcurrant bushes, held onto thetipping fence, trying to peek into the neigh-bors’ place, hoping to detect some move-ment there. There were no human noises,and everything was strikingly filled with thesound of summer insects, supplemented bythe oh so typical background buzzing of theelectricity transmission towers on the otherside of the little river, and I decided to takeadvantage of the neighbors’ raspberry plantbranch whose red and ripe fruits were luringmy hand to reach out and take some. Spot-ting the movements of the kindhearted andever so loved grandma Valentina hushing atthe chickens that were walking too freelyaround their yard, annoying the old andlimping Muhtar, a stray dog that lived withthem for at least a decade, I observedMaximilian, sitting as usual in the open bal-cony up on the second floor,engrossed in hisdaily activity of drawing for hours, not payingattention to anyone, largely immune to ourpleas to engage with us in a board or card A woman drawinggame. Anna Kezerashvili Finally the oldest of the neighbor’s 4th year MD candidatekids appeared,and I ceased the few seconds Dry pastelbefore he would disappear again to call PAGE 4
  6. 6. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 few slowly moving cars, emitting a smell ofmy bicycle. After notifying my cousins about cheap fuel that vaporized lazily through theupcoming bicycle ride and obtaining their thick and still air. As I neared my favoritepledge for secrecy unless absolutely forced spot by the lake or pond, as some wouldby the adults, I pedaled off towards the more argue- I finally realized that someone waslit-up area of our street, which would go over calling my name, and I pressed on my ten-the river and into the fields after the dacha derly and apologetically squeaking breaks,houses spanned no further, and inhaled the tearing some grass out of the ground as aaroma of the brown earth, tightly packed result, and looked at the green materialover the decades, bare and dry. smudged slightly over the place where the A member of the bovine species grass was cut into two before I turnedblinked at me, chewing the emerald herds, around. Not very surprisingly indeed, it wasand I rode over the rope that was attaching it Andrey, with his nearly annoyed and halfto the pole in the middle of the field, as I was amused, grinning expression, that caught upstaring into the distance, thinking about eve- with me on his old bike, and I gave him “that”rything and yet nothing at once, such as the look, signifying that I knew exactly why hetrip back to Moscow the week after, and the was there; that poor Valentina Ivanovna hadfact that Volodia always wins card games; to raise her voice at him and send him toand as these thoughts, or perhaps a lack look after me when she found out that I setthem, proceeded, came the realization that I out alone. As he set down with our bicycleswas already making the turn into the path on the grass under several slim, gracefulthat wound its way past the young pine birch trees that exuded that very simplewoods, signifying that in about ten minutes, I Russian folkloric beauty and romance, sowould feel the chilling magic of water after mythical and inspiring, so deep-rooted in thebeing in a state of extreme thirst, heat and culture and yet young and fresh in their en-exhaustion from the ride and the sensation tirety, I dove into the cold heaven, hitting aof skin suffocated by a layer of sandy road fish or some other underwater creature withdust… Thoughts started clearing as I saw my foot, and felt a sadness that these care-the oasis flickering not so far away, with free summer days would, in a few years, orseemingly happy (or relieved from their daily perhaps even less, be left behind like themiseries) families and individuals laying and shore, the distance to which was slowlysitting on the lake’s banks, with the children’s growing, with Andrey squinting his eyes insplashing and chasing echoing distinctly – the sun, observing the girls of his age groupnot too noisily, since this was not the peak and lighting a cigarette.time for swimming since it was so hot and aIndestructible Trying too hard to be lazyDan Cousin Cause I dont know when4th year MD candidate I will love again Cause I dont know whenLying in my bed I will love againReflecting and directingAll of the traffic in my head Im thinking Im being testedWhere is my life going? Im trying my bestThink that Ill stay right here instead, But cant help feeling PAGE 5
  7. 7. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005That Ill still come out bestedIm living lifeBut it still feels likeMy heart has been arrestedBut maybe its all in my mindCause I dont know whenI will love againOh I dont know whenBut I wish that it were thenI dont want to face realityIm staying out of touch with the worldSo then it cant touch meIm playing both the devils advocateand its adversaryAs I search my soul for meCause I dont know whenI will love againOh, I dont know howBut I wish that then were nowMaybe Im just crazy and everythings justfineand from what appears to be, theres moreThat meets the eyeIf I just let time pass, will life pass me byIf Im just in denial, then this too I deny ButterflyJust realized my own worst enemy is I Javani The inscription reads:I know theres no way to back up time and Im a butterfly.Somehow undo what has been done to me Madly burning in love.The yesterday I leave behind A hobo in any garden.Is not a defense for my insanity Intoxicated by the scent ofand tomorrow I will survive My love, the flower.If I learn to stop failing before trying Digital painting printed on canvas, andThe man I was is no longer I enhanced by the artist adding oil stokes on theCause I just became indestructible to me top of it. PAGE 6
  8. 8. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 He deepened his proposition, and open his The Proposition palm. Andrena Mason There was a thick wad of green. “I have money and when I die,Each day she went to Burger King you can have it all.Or McDonald’s This is just some.”I don’t remember. He didn’t have to say what he was feelingHe talked to her It was written on the shell his glossy, wet eyes.And she to him Desperately Lonely.He listened to her Now, years, a husband and four children laterAnd she to him She says “I wish I knew then, what I knowOver fries, and Ketchup and Burgers. now.” “What would be different?” I ask.One day he said “Marry me.” She smilesHis hands were lined with years of memories Sarcastically. Knowingly. Regretedly.And his eyes were sincere and true. And I know that she would have wrapped herAt the time heart,She was 29 and he was 70? NoAnd she said, “I can’t. You are very sweet, Her life, around that beautiful,but I can’t.” vulnerable 70-year-old man. From Burger KingAnd he said, “But I’ll take care of you.” Or McDonalds.Bryce Amphitheater Aparna Mukhopadhyay. 3rd year Ph.D. student(from Bryce point, Bryce Canyon National (Minolta Dimage S414, four consecutive shotsPark, Utah) stitched together in the Adobe Photoshop ver7.0) PAGE 7
  9. 9. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 Dr. Rogler got to test out the quality of his initial nature photographs while a member ofFROM ICE TO ART: A journey the Color Camera Club of Westchester. Atinto the world of Jack Frost their monthly meetings a judge would offerDesigns no holds barred critique of the images. The competition was tough and intense andphotography by Charles E. Rogler, Ph.D awards were made for only the best qualifyingProfessor. photographs. It was there, in the 80s, thatDept. of MedicineDept. of Microbiology and ImmunologySeeds grow into a serious passion. We all know that professors andtheir students are often avid hobbyists,in addition to being dedicated scien-tists. It seems like the creative im-pulses dont just end for most acade-micians when they walk out of thelaboratory. Two common leisure pas-times of academic types are musicand photography. Like many otherprofessors, Dr. Rogler has been anavid amateur photographer for most ofhis adult life.Dr. Rogler first developed a seriousphotography bug as a result of hisbackpacking experiences in the SierraNevada mountains of California in the1970s. Dr. Rogler must have caughtthe same bug that Ansel Adams had.According to Dr. Rogler, The sceneryand wildflowers were so spectacularthat I was driven to take pictures ofthem to prolong their memory. So,back in the 1970s he obtained a clas-sic Cannon AE-1 camera, (the origi-nal), with a great macro lens and a70-210 zoom lens and began shoot-ing. One of Dr. Rogler’s goals was toshoot all the wildflowers in the SierraNevada range. While he fell some-what short of that goal (due mainly tomoving back East), the seeds of inter-est in close up photography, picturecomposition and lighting and contrastwere planted and continued to grow. R5-20 PAGE 8
  10. 10. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Dr.Rogler learned a great deal about compo- is just at the right position, the mostly planarsition, color and specialized techniques and formations shine out in 3D!developed a critical eye for photographic art.At this point, good ole fashioned luck playsOver time, Dr. Rogler won ___ first awards, a part in the final crystal formation. Just asand _____ honorable mentions at the club. the photographer Wilson A. Bently observed in the 1880s that, no two snowflakes are theJack Frost Designs are discovered same, Dr. Rogler also says that no two Jack New discoveries are usually due to a combi- Frost Designs are the same. Every cold daynation of creative imagination, experimenta- is a new discovery, created by the specifiction and good ole fashioned luck. As most temperature and humidity conditions.amateur photographers, Dr. Roglers eye wastrained to see what he calls photo ops.Photo ops occur when you least expectthem and that was certainly the casewith Jack Frost Designs. It all startedwhen Dr. Rogler, in efforts to reduce thecosts of heating his greenhouse, startedreducing the temperature of the green-house in winter. He had to find areduced temperature at which his gera-niums and Christmas cactus wouldsurvive the winter. When he did this, Dr.Rogler began to notice ice crystalformation known as Jack Frost on thewindows of the greenhouse. Having aphotographer’s eye,and a keen appre-ciation for what special lighting can dofor normally routine ice formations, thequest to capture the beauty of the icecrystals began. It turned out that some of the bestlighting conditions occurred in the earlymorning right after sunrise. Of course,the angle of the sun was important andwas continually changing, requiring aphotographer who was fast with theshutter. Dr. Rogler also experimentedwith temperatures and humidity condi-tions in the greenhouse and managed toestablish conditions in which the icecrystals would grow into formations ofunprecedented size and complexity.When the sun, or the artificial lights hehas recently used, hit the ice crystals atjust the right angle and the camera lens R12-15 PAGE 9
  11. 11. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Jack Frost Designs receives National Dr. Rogler. For most of the images, heRecognition. has used a 35-135 mm Schneider Kreuznach Encouraged by Karen Gardner of the telephoto zoom lens with 35 mm SLRpublic relations department at Albert Einstein Samsung camera. A variety of films haveCollege of Medicine, Dr. Rogler entered a set been used including Kodak TMax 100 B/Wof five of his Jack Frost Designs photos in a which is the current favorite. However, inter-2004 National Photo Awards competition that estingly, Kodak 200 Gold color print film alsois judged by a panel of Master level judges. yields some great images, according to Dr.To his great surprise and delight, the set of Rogler. A large format Mamyia Z65 cameraphotos won First Place in the Artistic/Creative with an 80mm lens has also been used withcategory. As a result Dr. Rogler won the several different IIllford and Kodak color andPhotogapher of the Year award for the Artistic/ B/W 120 films to capture some of the largerCreative category. The Jack Frost Designs imageshave been universally well receivedreceived in all the venues in which ithas been shown. Dr. Roglers earliestprints of Jack Frost Designs have beenon display in the lobby area of theForscheimer building at Albert EinsteinCollege of Medicine since October2004. Workers in the medical schoolhave been fascinated by the images,especially when they read that theimages are of ice on glass withspecial backlighting and angularphotography, as Dr. Rogler puts it,when he explains the techniques. RonTerner of the Focal Point Gallery onCity Island in the Bronx, has appreci-ated the art form and featured it in hisgallery in March 2005 and MetaphorGallery brought Jack Frost Designs tothe National Art Expo at the JavittsCenter in New York City. Finally, theNew York Times featured Dr. Rogler,his Art, the greenhouse and thebeautiful environment of his house inthe January 30, 2005, Sunday Times.The article can be viewed at forJan 30, 2005.Jack Frost Images have severalrepeated themes. If you look at them long enough you R4-14begin to see repeated themes, according to PAGE 10
  12. 12. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005designs. particularly striking because it contains both Different themes tend to be repeated the geometric and the floral patterns.under different environmental conditions. Thisarticle has three images that represent some Specialized Custom Printing and theof the common themes that are found in the Digital on glass. The images have an etherealquality to them and Dr. Rogler has hesitated to All the images included in this articlegive them titles because, as he says, Eve- were first custom printed by Chuck Keogh ofrybody sees something different in them and I Bedford Photographic in consultation with Dr.dont want to stifle the imagination of the Rogler. According to Dr. Rogler, there is aviewer. Furthermore, in that the images are special chemistry between myself and Chuckabstract they can be viewed from different Keogh when we are printing. Chuck hasdirections and you see different things. Dr. years of experience and expertise and isRogler says Just like the Kandinsky print I known as one of the leading printers of silverhave on my wall, some of the Jack Frost gelatin black and white prints in the New YorkDesigns can be rotated every few months for area. He can see a negative and guess whata new discovery. exposure the print needs almost spot on every The first image shown, R5-20, represents time. According to Dr. Rogler, the two of themone of the main types of crystal formations discuss what areas of the print need to bethat occur on the glass. Clearly these forma- brought out and which held back bytions have an organic character to them. dodging and burning.This image generally reminds people of feath- In the digital age, the wet bench print-ers or ferns or possibly the branches of an ev- ing approach may be seen quaint and antique.ergreen tree when viewed horizontally. One of However, there are subtle features of tonethe interesting features of Jack Frost Designs and contrast that enhance the three dimen-is that they make inorganic water and glass sional quality of the Jack Frost Designs thatlook like organic appearing botanical scene. are brought out using the tried and true wet Image R12-15 has a completely different bench photographic processes that are oftenfeel and look. This image has a distinctly lost in the digital conversion.Geometric quality to it. Many New Yorkers Dr. Rogler says Certainly, there will behave looked at this image and immediately a place for digital images in Jack Frost De-said Oh there is the top of the Chrysler signs art. Dr. Rogler will soon have a webBuilding. Others have said from a hori- site---, and high densityzontal view it looks like a cascading waterfall scans of the custom prints were used to cre-and all of these interpretations are welcomed ate the mages for this article. However, ac-by Dr. Rogler. cording to Dr. Rogler, Yes, we are moving into Image R4-14 combines both the floral the digital age, however, the production ofand the geometric qualities into one image. customized silver gelatin prints as fine art, willThis image was one of those that won First remain an important feature of Jack Frost De-Place in the National Photo Award contest. signs for a long time to come.”Dr. Rogler has called this one Libertybecause he sees the headpiece of the Statueof Liberty in this image. This image is PAGE 11
  13. 13. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 Four Short Pieces for Piano Ron Rice 3rd year MSTP PAGE 12
  14. 14. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005SevenDmitriy Kedrin3rd year MSTP9.5”x11” Mixed media on paper PAGE 13
  15. 15. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Pieces of FabricAndrena MasonIt is interesting to watch you close yourfistsand your handsinto tiny ballsBalls that take no prisoners of warIt is captivating to see you hold onto somethingAnd to be so strong in itThat thereis no room in the crevice of your pinkFor oneAlienChocolateMorselRivetingTo see how that tiny handClutched, Closed,Opens wounds in me.These pieces of fabricThat have not been baredAre pieces that you hold away from theSharingAre you afraid? Afraid that I’ll steal yourfabric?Are you afraid that I’ll take my scissorsand slice it to….Mr. Unrecognizable? Mother and Daughter Dipayan Rudra 6th year PhD studentMaybe they are safe Pentax zxm, f/8, 1/60, 100mm telephoto the crevice of your pink FistI just hate how it makes me wring my fabric What shall we do with this?to bleeding You sitting there.I just hate how my senses contract Me sitting here.when we cannot share the story Fabric straining our bones.the pieces of friendship I won’t take it clenched.the Quilt Open it up With its beautiful colors PAGE 14
  16. 16. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005A World of InquisitionSahana D’Silva2nd year MSTPA thousand words cannot expressThe tangled web that chokes my soul.The mass of threads my breath suppress,I gasp, I struggle to regain control.Darkness’s veil swiftly enshrouds me,She blinds my eyes, seeps through my skin.How can I truly be freeUntil I quieten this silent din?The empty void, it frightens me,I strain to push the veil aside.The web enmeshes my arms, my thoughts,Now helpless am I as a newborn child.Hush, I beg silence of the chaos in my mind,Serpent fights serpent, they rebut in kind:How will you dress, what be your gait? Woman with Veil at MorningsideWhy don’t you marry, for whom do you wait?What tongue do you speak, what words do Heights Grace Yuyou read? Craypas on BristolHow dare you feel, there is no need. How do you grip, how call you your street?What tune do you hum? What age do you What wind blows your thoughts, what rainlive? soothes their thirst?How far do you reach, where take, where Which fences erected, how bless they, howgive? curse?What sign do you wear - cross, moon or dot? Their weather-beaten boards how often doHow do you dance - dandia or foxtrot? you change;How far do you love before the knot’s tied? How oft do you check their tolerance range?Play you with fire or trust wisdom gold?How much can you cry ‘fore the wells up and Slowly I realise as time flits by:dry? The fiercer I resist, the more obstinately I shieHow deep must you pierce ‘fore you shatter Away from the blackness, ignore its existence;the mould? If the pretense of broad daylight be my defense,How fast do you run, which way do you go? The more will I wander, precious time will IHow much will you shed by the time you slow? squander;How great be the price for the choices you The fog inches closer through the darkmake? I ignore.How much be the gain, how much at stake? But dare I welcome the quiet, cradled in HerWhat drink do you sip, what fare do you eat? bosom, PAGE 15
  17. 17. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Permit the ripples of questions to wash overmy spirit,Gently my soul commands thoughts toblossom,That weed through the mass of confusion andgrit.Like a bolt of lightening, the truth hits me:I can never be rid of this muted cacophony.But like the rhythm-bound currents that twistthrough the ocean,Forcing it to writhe and breathe and live,So must I welcome this persistent motionThat brings my soul freedom through thepores of its sieve. UntitledSpace Anya SedletcaiaDan Cousin 2nd year PhD student4th year MD candidateSearching through space Unaware of what is right side up,Finding no one Am I upside down?Drifting past stars Scared my life is outside in,Finding no sun Am I inside out?When I felt your gravity surround me Compared with nothing elseand pull me over to you I cant tell what is itselfThen you were the universe to me Impaired am I see your lightI orbited around you Blind to the darkness I left behind? Our perceptions Of perfection Are internal contradictions I know what I thought when I thought I knew What turned out to be untrue Now I realize that Absolute is relative So none compares to you Dusk Souvik Sarkar PAGE 16
  18. 18. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Men are from Mars, women are As with most species of animals on earth, the male (top picture) and female (bottom picture) Oriental White eyefrom Venus (the name comes from the white ring around the eyes), are strikingly different. These birds are inhabitants ofJayanta RoyChowdhury Western Himalayas in India.Professor.Dept. of Medicine Location: Corbett National Park, Kumaon, India. (Photos at 500mm focal length using a Sigma 170-Dept. of Molecular Genetics 500mm APO zoom lens, ISO 400) PAGE 17
  19. 19. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 Untitled Mariya Tarassishina Batik on satin using fabric dyes and hot wax. PAGE 18
  20. 20. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Letters home from a Dutch object containing written language, absorbed by everyday concerns while your organs ofstudent in New York City: balance make you believe you are in a differ-A foreign commute ent dimension of space and time. ‘Commuting’Ninon Higham is what the natives call it. It is important never to interrupt this pursuit. Whenever you have toFirst impressions are lasting impressions. I wait one minute to transfer to a different train,wonder though, how long it will take for my you loyally continue this ritual on solid ground.neurons to remodel, and turn an observational For the regular tourist, a worth seeing sight asdelight into an everyday experience, no longer it is.triggering the fascination it does now, one The one-armed subway technique, formonth after my arrival as a dutch medical re- obscure historical reasons, allows one tosearch student at the Albert Einstein College enjoy other pleasures besides those of read-of Medicine. The description that follows is ing, thinking or sleeping, if one so desires. Formeant to convey to you the amazement that a example, in exchange for spare dollars con-foreigner feels stepping into the New York City tributed by your fellow passengers, the floor ofsubway for the very first time. a subway train turns out to be the perfectNew Yorkers are peculiar people. In order to fit place to commission a show of break-dancingin, you should at least master a few tech- skills. A word of advice should you feelniques. The first skill is an absolute must: inclined to begin showing off your own moves:hanging on to a bar with one arm, essential for be sure not to offer the ‘hanging-on-to-one-preventing unwanted compression by torsos, arm’ audience the sole of your shoe:elbows, knees or other remaining body parts unfavourable for profits. Any regular weekdaywhen the train starts, stops, or jostles… while provides you a wide spectrum of artists, onereading a newspaper, magazine or any other performance more novel than the previous. Of course… what would you expect of people living in a polyglot, multicultural city pulsating with energy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? “24/7”… is what those same natives would say. Until recently, the word ‘commute’ was not part of the English vocabulary I possessed… Now, ‘commuting’ in the New York City sense of the word, has rooted itself so deeply in my consciousness, I can no longer imagine it was never there. Bath In Central Park Grace Marie Jones 2nd year PhD student PAGE 19
  21. 21. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005Olfaction ReactionJennifer Wolkin Independent, on the cusp of authentic adult3rd year Ferkauf grad in clinical psycology hood, Subtly seeking to be more sensual, more atThe Jergens lotion, ease with the ideaThe mint eucalyptus seeps into of attracting a king bee to my perfumed petals.The scaly cells of my utilitarian hands,All the while suggesting mother’s caress, “Purple Paradise” fragrance permeates myThat rubs away anticipation, psyche,And massages fearlessness, Almost as powerful as the illumination of theAnd strength into my soul. flameShedding the scents of my youth, From which it emanates.I douse myself with a more fitting fragrance, This aromatherapyThe Burberry’s I sophisticatedly wear reminds In its quintessential state flagrantly makes meme of that time I traveled to London and came thinkhome, I am on that wooden porch again, Mellow as the yellow sun, breathing in the rich, intoxicating lilacs. The acuteness of “hazelnut blend” aroma, Intense in its capability to attack, Jolting a rush of caffeine intravenously into my bloodstream. At the same time It carries me to the moments Of anticipation spent endlessly sipping This brewed substance in the hopes of staying awake to pass my GRE’s. Each aroma locks like a key with its own neuron, Eliciting a unique and irreplaceable reminiscence. Perfect Vision Cell cycles and differentiation in the developing Drosophila eye.Eye is labelled with antibodies Dr. Lucy Firth against CyclinB, phospho Histone 3 (mitotic cells) Post-doctoral fellow and the neural antigen ElaV to recognise photo- Molecular Genetics receptors. PAGE 20
  22. 22. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005The AnswerDan Cousin4th year MD candidateI was not the me I wanted to beI felt like a fish lost in the seaI was not living the life I wanted to leadI believed in a world that did not believein meI searched for the stars in the night skyWhen I found all along they were in youreyesThen I stopped asking questions that weren’t In the momentright Robert KarrWhen you answered my life To me the form of art comes in many ways...for meThe answer was you, the answer was you holding true form can only be that by the cam- eras eye. For me it began with my father a lover ofyou answered all my questions from the life taken photographyI knew with him my guide.. I took my journey of its finestWhen you made my world come true and just that I say..I took his wisdom and ran all around this city to see all....I say ....I have found my love for allThe answer was you time. - Robert KarrOde to WittWill ObrienO, enterobius vermicularis Though, now it ends for you and meHail ancylostoma with thine hungry grinDreaded palor of the great ascaris Our less-than-seemly symbiotic trystAnd trichomonas dressed in fish-ious sin Please, understand that I take Pz Not for you, but your dreaded cystMy pica-penchance hath pricked my tasteTo walk barefoot mongst the egg-laden dew, I ask that you postpone the dayAnd my fashionable lympho-elephantized To revisit this splendid pasture fairWaist is effected not by inhaling kitten poo When body whithered and follicle gray My lungs to pierce, your happy liarTo learn thy secrets, I dress in RBCsAnd pretend to septate in my bed Be patient, sick and lame Ill becomeOr imagine ticks where were only fleas Then, once in earth and without needAnd ponder on ring-hancements in this head And to your teeth my flesh be numb Thou worms, upon this husk, may feed PAGE 21
  23. 23. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 Still life RoseMarie Russo Administrative Secretary, Cancer Center Acrylic paint. PAGE 22
  24. 24. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005I want to expand myselfSunny Gupta So selfish am I5th year PhD student Always thinking about myself Student of Gandhi descendent of BuddhaI want to expand myself I want to work for my countrymenI want to smile I want to expand myselfI want to grow beyond horizonsI want to expand myself Thin so thick is membrane between Good and BadShe smiles a beautiful smile I live on one side and want to crossover toI want to be her smile otherShe is a small one across the street I want to expand myselfSo natural is her life My ego so strongI want to be her life It breaks at the slightest of blowI want to expand myself My life centers around fulfilling its wishesI walk along a thin lane I am tiredWith walls so high I need energy of love to feed my soulI feel so suffocated I want to dance to the tune of lifeI want to rise I want to expand myselfI want to expand myself Haleakala Crater Hawaiian island Canon EOS Elan 7E Tarun Dam PAGE 23
  25. 25. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 grabbed the extra set of keys from Cathy’s hand, kissed her goodbye and stepped out-Free Parking side. His jaw dropped when he saw the emptyDaniel Fein3rd year MD candidate driveway. “You’ve got to be kid….” His voiceBob Hampton could tell from the moment he trailed off as he remembered where his carwoke up that this was going to be the worst was. He reached into his pocket and removedday of his life. He felt it in the air from the the silver two-inch rectangular box. Heminute the shrill blare of his alarm clock woke pressed the single button in the center of thehim at six fifteen, before he stubbed his toe on box, stared at his driveway and waited for thethe corner of his night table, sliced a two inch magic to happen.gash on his left cheek while shaving and Several seconds later, the first shim-spilled a cup of coffee down the front of his mers were visible. It seemed as if he waspale blue shirt, scalding himself and ruining staring down a long road on a hot summer dayhis favorite tie. – the air appeared fluid and swelled before his The date, December sixteenth, 2062, eyes. The ripples spread outwards and beganwas prominently displayed on his portable to darken. The trees and fence on the side ofvideophone, the dashboard of his 2056 Ford his house were obstructed from his view as heVoltage, on the paper calendar on his clut- was able to make out the first features of thetered desk at the Ford factory, and most im- car. The headlights and windshield first, sideportantly, in small block letters on the wrist- mirrors and doors soon after. Forty secondswatch that his wife Cathy had given him. The later, his car appeared, intact, in his was powered by Bob’s own body heat, “Amazing,” said Cathy, watching fromguaranteed to last until he died and his circu- the open doorway. Bob turned around andlation stopped. Guaranteed to remind him of nodded in agreement. He had been one ofthe worst, and last, day of his life. twenty employees at Ford picked to test out “Time to wake up Andrea,” said Bob as the latest innovation – CTM, or Car Transporthe kissed his daughter gently on the cheek. Mechanism as the technology was more for-She quickly looked up at him and smiled. mally known. It had been hooked up to his“We’re going to see Santa?” Christmas was Voltage only two days back.rapidly approaching and she was eagerly an- What the CTM did was quite simple – itticipating her trip to the mall. “Of course, transported the attached vehicle to a prede-sweetheart,” he promised, “as soon as I’m termined alternate dimension, where it couldhome from work.” He turned around and be easily accessed by a simple click of thewalked towards the door, which suddenly button. After inter-dimensional travel had beenswung open. It caught him in the face and discovered twenty years back, many compa-knocked him backwards, sending a fresh nies had patented ideas; however, Ford wasspout of blood from his nose. Cathy the first to actually have a working product.apologized profusely and helped him tend to CTM had been demonstrated for the presshis wound. four weeks earlier and had quickly been His bad luck had not ended there. He heralded as the solution to the world’scouldn’t find his car keys, and the contents of shortage of free space.his briefcase spilled to the floor when he All of the test group’s cars were fittedgrabbed it off the table. His watch told him with CTM – a small box in the underside of thethat he was going to be late for work. He car, and several other electronic gadgets thatshoved his papers inside the briefcase, would constantly report vital statistics about PAGE 24
  26. 26. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005the car and its surroundings. Each participant happen to it. He also had no urge towas given an instruction course on usage and travel to another dimension. Rumors of peoplerules of CTM – first and foremost which was coming back autistic or demented or notthat they were never, under any circum- coming back at all had already bankruptedstances, to be, or to have anyone else in their several companies. After two days of meetingscar when using CTM. Although a seemingly with the director of the program and signinguninhabited dimension had been chosen for various waivers, Bob was finally free to usethe project, it had been explained to Bob that the CTM.‘uninhabited’ meant that scientists had been Bob threw his briefcase on the passen-unable to detect any living being, not that the ger seat, waved goodbye to Cathy and pulleddimension was empty. After all, thought Bob, out of the driveway. When he arrived at work,who knows what lurks in the nooks and cran- he simply pulled up in front of the factory andnies of parallel universes? When CTM would pressed the button on the CTM controller. Hebe put into mass use, inter-dimensional park- watched the translucent ball swallow the caring lots would be heavily guarded; however, before it vanished.this was not the case for the test group. Bob Once at work his day continued to gowas fine with this – after all, Ford had prom- downhill. Bob was informed that his entireised to replace his car if anything should division was going to have to take a pay cut due to the amount of money squandered in development of a vehicle powered by cold fusion. Unions had gone the way of the Dodo thirteen years back and the alternative to the pay cut was to find a new job. Bob shook his head gritted his teeth. At least I wasn’t fired, he thought as he tried to conceptualize what was seemingly becoming a dire financial situation, and with Christmas right around the corner nonetheless. He tried to push the thoughts from his mind and got to work, eager to spend time with his daughter that afternoon. Eight hours later, Bob found himself sitting in his car in Winter memories front of his house. He had spent a good deal Shaeri Mukherjee of the day debating whether or not he should 4th year PhD student tell Cathy about his pay cut and consequently Central Park, New York Nikon Coolpix4300, f/2.8, shutter speed 1/150.2 had not gotten any work done. It was going to Sepia correction be a late night. PAGE 25
  27. 27. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 He stepped out of the car as the side door tohis house opened and Andrea, wrapped in abright pink winter jacket, ran towards the car.Bob caught her in his arms and spun heraround. She placed her arms around hisneck and kissed him on the cheek.“What happened daddy?” she asked as shetraced the scar on his face with her fingers.Bob took her hand and kissed it.“Nothing honey. Are you ready to seeSanta?”“Yay!” shouted Andrea as she began tosquirm in Bob’s arms. He put her on theground and helped her into the car. Boblooked across the front lawn at Cathy, whowas standing by the open door. He blew her akiss and then got into the driver’s seat. “Areyou sure you want to see Santa?” he askedsarcastically.“Of course, daddy!” shouted Andrea as theypulled away from their house. The line for Santa had been ridicu-lously long so Bob decided to take care ofsome shopping first. He silently cursed hisdecision since the line was easily twice aslong when they returned. Two hours later,Andrea finally made her way past the elvesand crawled up onto Santa’s lap. After herthree minutes were over, Bob slung the pack- Stairs to heavenages over his left shoulder, took Andrea by the Sangeeta Nath 3rd year PhD studenthand and led her outside to the far end of theparking lot. He removed the two orange traffic silence that something was wrong. She couldcones holding his parking spot and pressed hear him muttering under his breath, andthe button on the CTM controller. Several decided not to bother him. Daddy doesn’t likepeople stopped to watch as the first ripples being bothered when he’s sad, she thought asappeared in the evening sky. Andrea stared she removed her ponytail and put the thickwide-eyed and strangers applauded the visible pink rubber band on the seat next to her. Shebulges in the air as the car arrived. Bob smiled looked out the window as the car movedas he helped Andrea into the car, placed the slowly down the street. Her eyes brightenedcones in the trunk and the packages on the as they reached a stoplight several blocksseat next to him. from their house. A chocolate labrador was The ride home was a long one. Worries about walking down the street. It looked up at thetheir financial situation flooded Bob’s mind and car and caught sight of Andrea waving. Itstraffic was horrendous. Andrea sat silently in tongue lolled and it barked as the car began tothe back seat. She could tell from her father’s pull away. Andrea pressed her nose against PAGE 26
  28. 28. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005the glass and smiled as the dog followed the broke causing questions and problems tocar. spew forth. He fought to hold back tears asBob continued his slow drive home as he let he pulled into his driveway. Where did thethe problems eat away at him. How was he doggy go? Thought Andrea as the car pulledgoing to tell Cathy? Would they be able to to a stop. She opened the car door andkeep all the Christmas presents? Where could stepped outside. She saw the dog down thethey take out a loan? Andrea tried turning block and clapped. Andrea giggled with delightaround to look out the rear window of the car, as the dog ran up to her and wasted no time inbut was held in place by the seat belt. She licking her face. She giggled louder andplaced both hands on the window and chased the dog as it began making circles onfrowned – her new friend was nowhere in their front lawn.sight. Meanwhile, Bob sat with his forehead Why did this have to happen now? resting on the steering wheel. “Get a hold of Thought Bob as he turned onto his block. I yourself Bob,” he said as he took several deepcan’t tell her now. I’ll wait till after Christmas. breaths. He wiped his eyes on the back of hisHe nodded his head, feeling better that he had sleeve and said, “Come on, Andrea, lets goat least come to a conclusion about some- inside for dinner,” without turning around. Hething. And then another thought hit him. Will I leaned to his side and bundled the presentsget a Christmas bonus this year? He sud- together as Andrea ran in front of the car,denly felt nauseous. The dam in his mind chasing the dog into their backyard. Bob slammed the car door shut, looked at his house and sighed, wondering if they’d have to move. Bob took the CTM controller out of his pocket and pressed the button without turning around. Although the CTM still intrigued him, he had no urge to watch it now. It would just be another reminder about his job and upcoming pay cut. He slipped the controller back into his pocket and fumbled for his keys. “C’mon Andrea, lets tell mommy about Santa!” he said in as cheery a voice as he could muster. Bob waited for Andrea’s chipper reply, but there was none. “Andrea?” heRevelation said again, his voice trailing off3rd year PhD student as he turned around. The car had almostAparna Mukhopadhyay completely disappeared leaving a viscous filmDevils Orchard in Craters of the Moon National in its place. He looked around and didn’t seeMonument, Idaho. Andrea anywhere. “Oh shit,” he muttered as the packages slipped from his hand onto the PAGE 27
  29. 29. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005small patio. He bounded down the steps, branch of the pine tree. “What is Daddy dostood in the driveway and called Andrea’s ing?” she asked the dog, who whimpered inname. There was no response. The only response. Andrea took another hesitant stepsound was that of a barking dog. He ran to forward. She didn’t know what was going on,the end of the driveway and looked down the but she could tell that something was wrong.street. There was no sign of her. “Andrea!” She waved and tried to get her father’s atten-he shouted once again as he stepped back tion but he wasn’t looking at her, he was fo-onto his driveway. The air in the middle of the cused on something in his lap. Andrea walkeddriveway had returned to its normal appear- out from behind the pine tree onto the drive-ance. way and began yelling an waving her armsYou are never, under any circumstances, to above her, or to have anyone else in the car when Just let her be all right, though Bob asusing CTM. he closed his eyes and pressed the button.“No!!!” shouted Bob as he reached into his The CTM emitted a barely audible sound as itpocket for the CTM controller. He took it with powered up. The car shook gently as thetrembling hands and pressed the silver button, translucent ball slowly enveloped it. Bobpraying that he would find Andrea asleep in opened his eyes and released his breath, asthe car. he was able to see the ground underneath hisAs the driveway air began to bulge and feet. He looked out the windshield through thedarken, Andrea stood behind the pine trees in translucent ball and liquid air and gasped.the backyard and watched in amazement. Standing in front of the car, waving her armsShe had seen it only twice before and was was a figure in a pink jacket. Bob couldn’tsimply awe-struck by the phenomenon. The make out the details, but he suddenly knewlabrador standing by her side barked again that he had made a horrible mistake. Heand licked the side of her face, trying to turn grabbed the door handle on the invisible doorher attention away from the scene on the and pushed. The door opened an inch beforedriveway, but it was no use as Andrea stood meeting an immense amount of resistance. Itspeechless, watching the car materialize from was if the translucent ball was squeezing thethin air. car from the outside. Bob grasped it with bothBob didn’t wait for the wavy lines around the hands, leaned his shoulder into the door andcar to disappear before he placed his hands pushed with all of his might. It was to no avail.on the rear window. It was warm, and he felt The door handle disappeared in his hand andhis stomach churn when he glanced inside. the door didn’t budge.Andrea was missing, but the rubber band from “Andrea,” he yelled, wondering if sheher hair was lying on the seat. No! thought could hear him. Bob pressed his handsBob as he felt his heart skip a beat. How against the now invisible windshield and be-could I let this happen? How could I not pay gan to cry. He could hear Andrea yellingattention? He knew the answer to his ques- “daddy” as the world disappeared in front oftions, but also knew that it was not an excuse. his face. There was a moment of darknessNow what do I do? I can’t possibly explain before his new surroundings became visible.this… His thoughts trailed off as he realized He watched through tears as the translucentwhat he must do. Bob yanked the controller ball melted towards the ground and the wavyfrom his pocket and stared at it. lines disappeared. He grabbed the controllerHe ran around the car, jumped inside the driv- in his hands and closed his eyes. Pleaseer’s seat and slammed the door shut. Andrea work. Please work. Please work. He pressedtook a step forward and pushed away a the ice-cold button and opened his eyes. PAGE 28
  30. 30. AD LIBITUM! ISSUE 3, SPRING 2005 Nothing happened. There was no Bob was back in the car with the doortranslucent ball, no wavy lines and no liquid locked before he heard the sound again. “Ohair. Just the pitch-black night of a universe God,” he mumbled as he looked around fran-close to home, yet far away. “No!” shouted tically. Although he wasn’t able to see theBob as he pressed the button on the CTM source of the noise, he had no doubt that itcontroller several more times. Each time he wasn’t friendly. Bob looked at his watch andwas simply greeted with a hollow, empty click. began to cry once more as the sound becameAfter a minute he dropped the controller and increasingly loud. “Coming,” said Cathy as sheleaned back in the seat, his body shaking in worked her way through her house to the siderhythm with his sobs. He looked through the door. “Welcome ba...” she stopped talking ascar window and the desolate wasteland that she saw Andrea on the porch, her eyes redwas now his home.There was no vegetation from crying, standing next to a several shop-and no other signs of life. He slowly opened ping bags. “What happened?” asked Cathy asthe car door and stepped outside, the soles of she kneeled down. “Where’s daddy?” Shehis shoes kicking up dust. He closed the car glanced outside at the empty driveway. Thatdoor and the sound echoed throughout the could only… She stopped thinking as sheempty world. He collapsed to the ground and looked at her daughter and realized what itleaned against the car. Suddenly, a high meant. Cathy collapsed to the floor and beganpitched squeal caught his attention. He looked to sob. Andrea fell into her arms, placed herquickly to his left only to see a cloud of smoke. head on her mother’s neck and began to cry once again. Graduation C.Geoffrey Lau Martha’s Vineyard, Cape Cod f/7.1, shutter speed 1/459s, ISO 100 PAGE 29