In the following presentation, we will look at the different ways that we can pursuit happiness in our lives.All human beings want happiness in their life, but finding and feeling happiness can becomes a source of frustration for many people.What can we do to change this feeling of frustration?In the following slides we will look at a few of the ways we can bring happiness into our lives.
I began my pursuit for happiness, almost ten years ago, after the sudden death of my youngest son. The ways I choice to use may not work for everyone, but can be used as a guideline in the pursuit for happiness. After spending many long months of recovering from shock, deep depression, and a heart attack I had suffered upon the news of his death, I made up my mind that I had to grab life, and find a degree of happiness because his death was final, and I was power-less to bring him back, I felt blessed that I suffered no anger at the God of my understanding, but had a lot of anger at the driver of the semi that killed my son. Having very little spirituality understanding, I began to search for a power greater than myself. I found this power in my own heritage, which are the spirituality beliefs of native Indians. I began to follow the practices, which was first, taking care of our soul, and recognizing that each and everything on this earth was “one” with us, and life was a circle that was non-ending from birth to death and a normal part of life. Instead of focusing inward, I began to focus outward, to all things around me, taking each thing I saw into my heart and being grateful for each thing my creator provided for me, down to the tiniest insect. Before very little time had passed, I found I was feeling, no longer depressed and stressed, but thankful and grateful for all things, and specially life.
I had no idea how much time I spent in being angry, at my family. I was mentally and sexually abused as a child, and even thought I had spent years in therapy for this, I never quite forgave anyone, especially myself, as children tend to take reasonability for things done to them. Using my spiritual awakening, I first recognized that as a child I had no control over anything, and therefore was a victim of my circumstances. I also looked at the fact that this was many years ago, and most of the people involved in the abuse was dead, so why was I hanging onto this! I also looked at the facts concerning the one I was most angry at, which was my mother. I looked beyond her role as a mother, but her as a human that makes mistakes. I looked at the fact that she was marred at 14 and had me at 15, so a child herself, and she was unaware of the abuse I and my brother suffered at the hands of my grand-parents, and an uncle. Looking at all this and my roots, brought “forgiveness” to me and my mother, and began a comfortable relationship, where I live just for today and sometimes, just for the moment as I now know that death is swift and fast, and I do not want to leave any bad ties behind with my family. I now cultivate family ties with love and acceptance, keeping in mind always that we are each “just a human” with many mistakes as all humans make and have. I also do not have to accept all things, such as abuse of any kind, and can remove myself from that, knowing that sometimes people have bad days and take it out on others, which has nothing to do with me. I now use patience and understanding, and smile a lot where my family is concerned and the results are a miracle to me.
I realized for my own life, that I did a lot of comparing, wishing “I was”, which could be applied to many areas of my life. I never looked at what I had, or the achievements I had made, or anything good about myself, I found fault with all things concerning myself, only. Being grateful for anything was very seldom on my mind, as I was too occupied with gaining more for my children lives. The importance of being grateful, for happiness, did not occur to me until after my son’s death and becoming spiritual. Becoming spiritual was when I began to look outside myself, at all things around me. This is when I met other parents that had lost more than one child, or parents that sat at hospitals with their child, knowing death would come, and living with that each moment. I also began to look hard at just what was success that success was not what we had, or the job we did. That my children did not need to wear name brand things to show my success, just a happy smile and out-look was a show of my success as a parent. I changed my thinking to “think simple”, to not think of “things” as what showed my success at life. That things have no meaning in one’s success in life, how we feel inside us, and what others see about us is a mark of success. That my looks or what I wore had no importance, and did not make me a success, how I treat others and live my life is success. Now, today, looking at all that, I can say I have a very successful life.
Another important thing I found to pursuing happiness was to rearrange my life. I took a long look at my life, and things I did “for myself”. I found that I did nothing for myself that my entire life was around my children and meeting their wants. I realized that although my children were now grown with lives of their own, I had allowed myself to be totally depended on, trying to solve their life choices, or a “save them” attitude and had left nothing for myself. I did not even allow myself friends, as I allowed most of my time to be taken up by my family, and was beginning to feel a little resentful about this. When I began the changes in my life after my son’s death, this included losing the fear of alone, and making a happier life for me. The first thing I did was turn off the T.V set as I spend hours watching it before, and make myself learn to use a computer my daughter had given me. I joined some grief and self-help groups, making friends, and listening to how they changed their lives. Letting myself know and believe that my own happiness was my right as a human. I began to search my own roots and here is where my spiritual awaking began. Here is also where I began to give far more to others and my wants and wishes fell to the past, finding less importance. Here is also where I began to think about the importance of more education, although I did have a degree in something else I had done most my life. I found that being of help to others is something I like to do and especially with my people, Native Indians. I also learned how to do bead work that added a lot of mental reward to my self-esteem. Using the steps I have listed I found that having hobbies and things to do that fulfill us was another wonderful step to Pursuing Happiness.
In conclusion, my thoughts are that if we apply the included recommendations to our lives, that the changes that we gain will be added peace and happiness to our lives. That our life will began to have meaning, and we each will began to experience higher levels of self-esteem, where we realize that it is not how we look or what we have that determines happiness, but who we are inside ourselves. Finding and fully believing in a power greater than ourselves will help us in letting go of the past, and not procrastinate concerning the future and things beyond our control. This suggestion will also help us in finding things to occupy us and fill our time with useful and fun things, such as a hobby. We will find that our focus is no longer on “us” but on all things around us, where we will find gratefulness for life itself. We will discover that the bloom of a flower or a quick glance of a child smiling will mean more to us, than a new dress or anything that is material to life wants. Taking control of our lives, and our happiness will give us peace of mind and a sense of “freedom” with choices concerning our lives.
A sense of “freedom”</li></li></ul><li>Reference<br /><ul><li>Digital Scrapbook . (n.d.). Bliss of Happiness. Retrieved from http://digitalscrapbookpreviews.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=5854&ppuser=120
(n.d.). The Art of Happiness. Retrieved from http://members.iinet.net.au/~gilliannoble/exhibits/artists2009/81cchun09/arthappiness.htm</li>