Optimum

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Optimum

  1. 1. PET Screaming inside Bleeding inside Blood curdling yells From the bowels of hell. Throw me some rope Cut me some slack Pull me out Or put a lid on it. Waiting for the snap Of my spine When you say my name. Haunted by the figure Of an ex-lover. Lock the door Keep the noise down Keep my ear to the ground. What are you doing now? I have three guesses But I know, I know Feel sick deep down In the pit of my stomach Nausea At the thought of you And him. Pull me out Or put a lid on it. Knock me out With your beaming smile Kick me harder With your poisonous tongue Burn me Burn me Fucking get out the matches Strike One by one We'll all fall down Drag me around I'm on the lead You tie me up When you go to the shops Leave me in the car When you go to fuck him Take me for a walk When you’re bored with everything else.
  2. 2. FRONTIER Spiny thoughts, spiny minds Loves frontier is locked, as is time Keep it up, slow me down Keep up with me, hands held high. Answer every one We've framed the pretty and the young What I give you, what I can give Won't help you die, won't help you live. Myth and legend Seeps through the cold classroom I remember what isn't real It sends me to my knees. When you take off, in full flight I'm rooted to the ground Can't leave, won't follow You should stay behind.
  3. 3. FROZEN Alone in the bright white aisles I stand Put another seedless grape in my mouth The music makes me want to dance But it's too cold In the ice compartment. Yoghurt and Cake And then Yoghurt And Drinking and drinking Life accelerates, over takes me But here in the white aisles My friendly bright aisles I can live a quiet life Escape Set my own pace Talk to potatoes, baguettes and turkeys My mate Marmite Biscuits and Smarties.
  4. 4. BEDTIME It came to me in a sudden flash Go to bed, get some rest The TV is flickering I can barely hear it People in the kitchen Distant swearing. Here in my cage I ponder and plot Here I'm safe To dream of something I'm not. You're on my mind You always are So do something Or do nothing But please leave my head As my eyes fight the fight Of staying open and awake I will drift to my other world Fiction, fantasy, the fake.
  5. 5. NIGHTMARES In the dark When the shadows flicker and fade A cold shiver A bead of perspiration Eyes closed Fists clenched. A glimmer A sudden flash of light That grows As pupils shrink. There it is now An open door A ball of white But movement never comes The mind no longer permits it Paralysis Heat And icy cold fears Close the door.
  6. 6. INEVITABLE Easy to hide behind a smile The sky bends my back A crooked shape remains. Just to have you whisper in my ear Would it make it all complete? I don't think you appreciate The lengths I would go to But I know it's hard to get along When we've nothing left to say. I know I can't make up my mind Conversations brewed from frustration Situations born from a vacuum We're all ready to explode, Let me know when you want to go.
  7. 7. LONELY GARDEN DOES ALL THE TALKING Uneven grass Little black oval eyes Sun in and out Never quite bright I shiver with fear Not daylight or dark Not delight at the blue sky I'm waiting for nothing Because I have too much to do. I want to be Gloriously in love But however hard I try I find no such feeling Not an inch or a glimpse About anyone. A feeling A hunch That a spider was on my neck The pill box Chuckles, rattles On my left Never the right In the distance A pelican Crossing Another person Must be living.
  8. 8. MONTHS Escape, escape This lack of pace This waiting game I've signed up to play. Take me To a place That I know We've been before Why can't you wake And let me Sit down You do the work I've got a stripy jumper Want you to wear it If I gave you a flower Would you care for it? Changing gear When the clutch isn't down Unsettled, unrested Back down to earth.
  9. 9. HEADACHE I really hope You know what you are doing I really hope You know where you have been. And I am Sick And I am Twisted And I never want to tell you Where the world was before I never want to show you Where we're going to go To now. A certain premonition A certain Sense of doom. Ink spills From my ears Your voice scratching inside my head "Won't you let me out?" Because I know You want to leave I'll never Let you leave.
  10. 10. THE OTHER ROOM Maybe one day I kid myself This phase will pass I laugh Half knowing, half hoping And all in all Simply avoiding. Rushing through days Get them out of the way Over and out Dreaming and drifting Soaking up people Wandering and waiting Too discontent. So talk and talk Usual and banal Almost listening, but not quite The restless aggravation Wanting to be in another room But too scared I know I'd hate the other room. Up and down these stairs Every second Of every day Footsteps like a heartbeat Will soon catch up And like a madman Scream "gotcha!" "I gotcha!" And you turn, slow at first And face the creature in the silly mask.
  11. 11. DOWNFALL Correct Project me Scratch my eyes out Sink your teeth in I want to die In your arms I want to feel That scream. Push me Catch me Pull me to the floor Telepathic, make believe I want you To pull the plug. I'll do nothing for you You won't smile at me again I'll bleed behind these eyes I'll give to the count of ten. Turn me Spin me Hang me out to dry I'll fit into your tin box You pass me liquids Through the lock. Please don't hurt me Any more Should I have to ask For it to stop? I'm still hurting In agony You can pass the plaster You can wind the bandage Tighter.
  12. 12. THE PRETENDING GAME I had a dream I couldn't recollect I had a vision of you in another room. Do you remember? That game we used to play? When we assumed it was all pure hate? Fighting, screaming, tearing each other apart. I've often asked, in my mind Is that what you really meant? The pretending game. Tell me that's what it is. I wish you could be honest Perhaps you are. Is it because you're beautiful? Is it because I'll leave tomorrow morning with a smile on my face? Quietly, inside I'm feeling Things I only feel in films When there is silence When two pairs of eyes are locked For a second, a moment It just might be- The lights go down. You call me a name and curse out loud And I laugh in your face Pretending again That it doesn't matter When All I want is the world to vanish Leaving-
  13. 13. BLIND EYE Save me Some time And you'll be saving some Heartache. Happiness Is illusory? Well I guess I must concede. Can't seem to see or feel No more. So I guess you're right this time. I'll borrow today Can give too much tomorrow You'll take it all away As I turn a blind eye. The blind eye Hurts me More than you Doesn't tell me what to do But it drags me down With what it cannot see The fool. Beware my wordy friends Those utterances Can't make amends When they slip off the tongue I won't call your bluff But I'm sure to watch you fall And when you try to take my hand I don't think I can look at you. Beware my anxious friends Your fear is no defence It leaves gaps around the edges You may drown with remorse. So when I strive not to give a damn Again blaming the blind eye Be sure to point me in the right direction When you can spare a little time.
  14. 14. LULLABY Frank sings Easing the pain Momentarily We feel That nothing will get in our way. Now I see All the signs point to me With the rising of the sun It dawns That with every our Wasted thinking Twists the knife in deeper. With the setting of the sun I picture you in perfect slumber Not a care in the world Not a care for me No knowledge of anguish As your breathing deepens In perfect harmony You drift to the sound of Frank.
  15. 15. FORWARD Self preservation You found fault with the norm The Piper at the Gates of Dawn Comfort in the blues Comfort in the absurd Existentialist, no less! Without hope Indifferent How much of this is a construct? How much of this is sinking in? I turn in on my last At ease with this appease You've thrust upon me No one No one No one Who did this to me? Who then holds the key? Who'll let me go? Only connect Let's pretend That New Forest fears Bittersweet tears The orange walk home Happened by chance. Jules Verne took me on a trip Eating Skittles Delving deep Discussions of Godot Threaten to overwhelm Teetering on the edge Of pretension We force for the second day.

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