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Wolf blitzer buys a new suit - or how to save the economy


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How to save the economy--by metaphor.

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Wolf blitzer buys a new suit - or how to save the economy

  1. 1. Wolf Blitzer Buys a New Suit: How to fix the economyWolf Blitzer Buys a New SuitFor those who still have no grasp on how to fix the economy, another metaphor.Wolf Blitzer wants to buy a new suit. This, he figures, will attract more viewers[customers]. He borrows the money from John King—a CNN colleague.Mr. Blitzer’s ratings [revenue] go up. He repays Mr. King.Mr. King, seeing Mr. Blitzer’s success, uses the profits from his lending venture to buy anew suit. His ratings [customers] go up.Upstairs, Mr. Turner is looking over the balance sheets. He sees this uptick in[revenue]. He asks his accountant what happened. His accountant tells him. Mr.Turner gets an idea. He issues a memo to his on air people.CNN will make low interest loans to those who want to go out and buy a new outfit towear on the air.Ratings go up. Revenue goes up. Mr. Turner issues another memo.Up until now, in the cafeteria, employees could buy a meal [breakfast, lunch, or dinner]for $10. Due to the increased revenue, we are going to charge you [tax you] only $5.As a result, the employees have more money to spend. John King buys a new tie.Gloria Borger buys a new scarf. Candy Crowley buys a necklace. Don Lemon buys anew shirt.This upgrade in the “metaphorical image” generates more viewers [customers].Revenues go up. Salaries are increased. All is well in CNNtopia.However, what if all were not so enlightened.What if Wolf Blitzer had borrowed the money for his new suit from Bret Baier?Well, Mr. Blitzer would still have a new suit. However, the profits would have gone toMr. Baier who would have used his profits to buy a new suit. Mr. King, not having theprofits from his loan to Mr. Blitzer, would have had to go to Shepard Smith for a loan tobuy his new suit.
  2. 2. Now, Bret Baier and Shepard Smith could use their profits to invest in a businesspartnership to lend money to fellow Fox News Anchors. They would have a spiffed upimage and more viewers [customers] generating more revenue.Back to CNN.With Mr. Blitzer and Mr. King having to pay interest on the loans to people at Fox, theyhave to cut back on expenditures. Now, instead of buying lunch or dinner in thecafeteria, they brown-bag it. Revenues in the cafeteria fall. CNN issues a memo. Dueto lost revenues, the cafeteria will have to raise prices [taxes] on lunches and dinners.This affects the other employees. No shirts, no scarves, no ties, no necklaces,declining image, lost customers, decreased revenues—CNNistant.What is the crucial difference between CNNtopia and CNNistan? That is the differencebetween solving the US economic crisis and not solving the US economic crisis.Now, on to Economic Experts.In another monograph, I referred to selling blue paint. I chose blue because blue is myfavourite colour. As Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”However, there is an opportunity to create a metaphor.You watch CNN. You watch as experts explain the economy.One economist works for a company that makes red paint. He says, “If you want to sellmore widgets, paint the walls of your company red.”Another economist works for a company that makes blue paint. He says, “If you want tosell more widgets, paint the walls of your company blue.”Well, the bias is obvious. Less so, the supporting facts.Red: “We have a study that says employees in companies with red walls are morepumped up and make more widgets—increased productivity.Blue: We have a study that says employees in companies with blue walls are moreserene and make fewer mistakes—higher quality.What both sides don’t say:Employees in companies with red walls make more widgets but make more mistakesresulting in many widgets rejected for poor quality.Employees in companies with blue walls make higher quality widgets with fewermistakes, but make fewer widgets which results in lower productivity.
  3. 3. You can say both the Red Economist and The Blue Economist told the truth, half thetruth, or half a lie [by omission].Both sides misled the customers of the benefits of the paint they sell.How do you fix an economy?Here are a few easy to understand monographs on the topic. Will this help you fix theeconomy? Well, is fixing the economy your job? What it will do is protect you from thepoliticians trying to sell you paint you don’t need to fix a problem that can’t be fixed witha can of paint.Will $1 Billion Dollars create 7,000 jobs? Yes and No. Stimulus, by Metaphor Multiplier Effect,SlimPS. I am not Paul Harvey. However, I am open to becoming a commentator,columnist, or paid blogger.If you’ve found anything I said to be helpful, please don’t hesitate to send me one ofthose tricked-out laptops and to tuck a few dollars into the envelope along with thethank you note.Sincerest regards,
  4. 4. Copyright © 2011 Slim Fairview