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Week 6 Review of Course
Content and Transitions
The Writing Process
• Generate ideas!
• Make a list! Write down all of the possible
topics that could work for your writing
assignment.
• Organize Your Ideas:
– Before you write, take the time to organize your
ideas. You can use an outline or a simple list. Begin
with a clear topic and then add each step in logical
order. Add in supporting details at each step, as
needed. Finally, end with a concluding sentence.
Outlining
Creating an outline is an excellent way to organize your ideas.
I. Topic:
II. (step one of the process)
A.
B.
C.
III. (step two of the process)
A.
B.
C.
IV. (step three of the process)
A.
B.
C.
V. Conclusion
Completed Outline: Essay
Completed Outline for a Process Essay
American Idol Audition Outline for a Process Paragraph
I. Topic: American Idol Auditions at Hollywood Studios
II. Step 1 – Initial audition
A. Sing to Disney cast member
B. if you are good you continue on
III. Step 2 – Second audition
A. Select a song form the given list
B. Sing to a producer
C. if selected assigned to a preliminary show
IV. Step 3 - Sing at a preliminary show
A. audience votes for their favorite performer at the end of the show
B. winners of preliminary shows perform at the final show of the day
V. Step 4 Perform at the final show
A. Compete against the winners of other preliminary shows.
B. The winner gets a dream ticket
VI. Conclusion - An opportunity to audition for the real show
Drafting an Essay
Topic: American Idol Auditions
American Idol Auditions
When you are auditioning for American Idol there are 4 steps that you have to go through in
order to become a contestant. For some their dreams will come true while for others their
dreams shatter way before they get the dream ticket to make it on to the final rounds of
auditioning.
Before you even go through the auditioning process you have to be 14 years old before you
can go any further. Afterwards, you can sign up online or once you get to the audition that
morning. You will sing your song in front of a Disney cast director if they like what they hear you
move on to the next round.
In round 2, you with a producer you will be asked to select a song from a list that will include
varies types of music. Once the song is chosen you will sing along with a pre-recorded track. If
you impress the producer you move on to the next step.
Then comes the preliminary show, this takes place in a theater which seats 1,000 people and a
stage that looks like the American Idol stage. The preliminary shows are shot each day in front of
a live audience. You sing your song in front of the audience and they vote on their favorite singers
and that allows them to move on to the final show.
The last day of the show features all the winners of the preliminary show. They perform and
the audience once again votes for their favorite singer only this time one winner is chosen for
that day and whoever wins gets a dream ticket which allow them to pass the line at one of the
regional auditions for the television show.
The process of becoming a contestant for American Idol seems simple enough but you have to
keep in mind that just because you made it through one round you have 3 others to go. It never
hurts to pursue your dream.
Transitions
• Transitions are used to move the ideas in your writing from one
step to the next in a smooth and seamless way. You can select a
specific type of transition word or phrase to fit the relationship or
connection between the ideas in your sentences or between your
paragraphs. For example, below are some of the categories that
transitions fit into:
• Transitions to signal sequence
• Transitions to signal time
• Transitions to signal comparison
• Transitions to signal contrast
• Transitions to signal examples
• Transitions to signal concession
• Transitions to signal summary, repetition, or conclusion
Transitions
taken from The St. Martin’s Handbook (2003, pp. 126-127) as cited in Weaver’s Grammar to Enrich and Enhance Writing
• Transitions to signal sequence: again, also, and,
and then, besides, finally, first… second… third,
furthermore, last, moreover, next, still, to
• Transitions to signal time: after a few days, after a
while, afterword, as long as, as soon as, at last, at
that time, before, earlier, immediately, in the
meantime, in the past, lately, later, meanwhile,
now, presently, simultaneously, since, so far,
soon, then, thereafter, until, when
Transitions
• Transitions to signal comparison: again, also, in
the same way, likewise, once more, similarly
• Transitions to signal contrast: although, but,
despite, even though, however, in contrast, in
spite of, instead, nevertheless, nonetheless, on
the contrary, on the one hand… on the other
hand, regardless, still, though, yet
• Transitions to signal examples: after all, even, for
example, for instance, indeed, in fact, of course,
specifically, such as, the following example, to
illustrate
Transitions
• Transitions to signal cause-and-effect:
accordingly, as a result, because,
consequently, for this purpose, hence, so,
then, therefore, thus, to this end
• Transitions to signal place: above, and Jason
two, below, beyond, closer to, elsewhere, far,
far there on, here, near, nearby, opposite to,
there, to the left, to the right
Transitions
• Transitions to signal concession: although it is
true that, granted that, I admit that, it may
appear that, naturally, of course
• Transitions to signal summary, repetition, or
conclusion: as a result, as has been noted, as I
have said, as mentioned earlier, as we have
seen, in any event, in conclusion, in other
words, in short, on the whole, therefore, to
summarize
Revision
When you have written a rough draft, it is
important to always go back and re-read what
you have written. Many people find that reading
their work out loud helps them hear the areas in
their writing that need additional attention. Use
the revision checklist to revise, re-write and edit
your writing for mechanical problems, grammar
issues, content and organization issues
Introduction
Content Revisions
American Idol Auditions
1st Draft
When you are auditioning for American Idol there
are 4 steps that you have to go through in order to
become a contestant. For some their dreams will
come true while for others their dreams shatter
way before they get the dream ticket to make it on
to the final rounds of auditioning.
Introduction
Revised
For aspiring singers, The American Idol Experience at Hollywood
Studies is a wonderful opportunity to get a feel for performing before
a live audience and earning a ticket to the regional audition for the
actual American Idol program. When you are auditioning for
American Idol there are 4 steps that you have to go through in order
to become a contestant. For some their dreams will come true while
for others their dreams will be shattered way before they get the
dream ticket to make it on to the final rounds of auditioning. When
you are auditioning for American Idol there are four4 steps that you
have to go through in order to become a contestantearn a “dream
ticket”.
Revision Comments:
– Add an interesting topic sentence that grabs your reader’s attention
and introduces them to the subject of your essay.
– Move the THESIS to the end of the paragraph.
– Edit the remaining sentences for word choice, spelling, mechanics, etc.
Body Paragraph One
1st Draft
Before you even go through the auditioning
process you have to be 14 years old before you
can go any further. Afterwards, you can sign up
online or once you get to the audition that
morning. You will sing your song in front of a
Disney cast director if they like what they hear
you move on to the next round.
Body Paragraph One
Revised
Singers must make it through an initial audition, which also includes meeting
certain criteria, before they can move on to the next round. Early in the process,
candidates younger than 14 are eliminated. If you meet the age criteria, you can sign
up online or when you arrive at Hollywood Studies. After you sign up, you will select
a song and begin practicing for your audition. Before you even go through the
auditioning process you have to be 14 years old before you can go any further.
Afterwards, you can sign up online or once you get to the audition that morning.
After a while you will sing your song in front of a Disney cast director if they like
what they hear you move on to the next round.
Revision comments:
• Revise the topic sentence to make it clear and focused.
• Add a transition to signal time
• Another transition to help your paragraph move along smoothly from point to
point .
• Adding a transition at the end of your paragraph signals a final progression.
• Revise any other words or sentences to improve the overall content.
Body Paragraph Two
Rough Draft
In round 2, you with a producer you will be
asked to select a song from a list that will
include varies types of music. Once the song is
chosen you will sing along with a pre-recorded
track. If you impress the producer you move on
to the next step.
Body Paragraph Two
Revised
In round two , you will once again pick out a song to perform,
only this time you will work with a producer. You will be asked to
select a song from a list that includes various types of music. Then a
producer will work with you to select the best song choice for your
type of voice. Once the song is chosen you will sing along with a pre-
recorded track , and hopefully you will impress the producer so that
you can move on to the next step.
Revision Comments:
• Spell out numbers under 10.
• Revise sentences that are awkward or could be worded better.
• Correct any spelling or usage issues.
• Add specific details to enhance the overall meaning of the
paragraph.
• Sometimes you will find opportunities to use a coordinating
conjunction to combine two sentences.
Body Paragraph Three
Rough Draft
Then comes the preliminary show, this takes
place in a theater which seats 1,000 people and
a stage that looks like the American Idol stage.
The preliminary shows are shot each day in front
of a live audience. You sing your song in front of
the audience and they vote on their favorite
singers and that allows them to move on to the
final show.
Body Paragraph Three
Revised
Finally, the preliminary show takes place Then comes the preliminary
show, this takes place in a theater which seats 1,000 people and has a stage
that looks like the American Idol stage. The preliminary shows are done each
day in front of a live audience. The audience is made up of other guests at
Hollywood Studies. This nerve wracking experience causes a lot of
contestants to panic and back out, but if you are brave enough you will sing
your song in front of the audience and they will vote on their favorite singers .
Once the votes are tallied, the contestants find out who will move on to the
final show.
Revision Comments:
• Add a transition word between paragraphs. You can also re-arrange the
words in a sentence to improve the overall flow.
• Make sure that you are not missing any modifiers.
• Adding additional supporting detail sentences is an important part of the
revision process
• Adding a transition signals the reader that we are reaching another
sequence in the events.
Body Paragraph Four
Rough Draft
The last day of the show features all the
winners of the preliminary show. They perform
and the audience once again votes for their
favorite singer only this time one winner is
chosen for that day and whoever wins gets a
dream ticket which allow them to pass the line
at one of the regional auditions for the
television show.
Body Paragraph Four
Revised
If you are chosen by the voters, you will get to perform at the finale, which is the
last show of the day. The last day of the show features all of the winners of This show
features each of the winners from the preliminary shows. They perform and the
audience once again votes for their favorite singer . Waiting for the results is scary,
but also very exciting. Contestants start to dream about fame and fortune.
Unfortunately, only one winner will be selected. The contestant chosen from the finale
receives a “dream ticket,” winner is chosen for that day and whoever wins gets a
dream ticket which allows them to skip pass the line at one of the regional auditions
for the television show. This will bring them one step closer to achieving their dream
of becoming the “next American Idol!”
Revision Comments:
• Re-word the topic sentence so that it connects this paragraph to the previous
paragraph. This helps the essay flow from one paragraph to the next.
• When revising look for areas in your paragraph where you can add additional
supporting details.
• Sometimes changing one word can make your meaning more clear.
• If you use 3 or more words from another source, always put it in quotations. Also,
using familiar phrasing can enhance your writing.
Conclusion
Rough Draft
The process of becoming a contestant for
American Idol seems simple enough but you
have to keep in mind that just because you
made it through one round you have 3 others to
go. It never hurts to pursue your dream.
Conclusion
Revised
On the whole, the process of becoming a contestant for American
Idol seems simple enough , but you have to keep in mind that just
because you made it through one round you have still have
three others to go. It never hurts to pursue your dreams because
even though it may be embarrassing and scary in the process, they just
might come true!
Revision Comments:
• Add a transition that signals a conclusion.
• Don’t forget to add a comma before FANBOYS (coordinating
conjunction) that combines two independent clauses.
• Spell out numbers under 10.
• Add additional details to enhance your content and make your
statements stronger.
Title Pge
Transitions and Revisions
Transitions and Revisions

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Transitions and Revisions

  • 1. Week 6 Review of Course Content and Transitions
  • 2. The Writing Process • Generate ideas! • Make a list! Write down all of the possible topics that could work for your writing assignment. • Organize Your Ideas: – Before you write, take the time to organize your ideas. You can use an outline or a simple list. Begin with a clear topic and then add each step in logical order. Add in supporting details at each step, as needed. Finally, end with a concluding sentence.
  • 3. Outlining Creating an outline is an excellent way to organize your ideas. I. Topic: II. (step one of the process) A. B. C. III. (step two of the process) A. B. C. IV. (step three of the process) A. B. C. V. Conclusion
  • 4. Completed Outline: Essay Completed Outline for a Process Essay American Idol Audition Outline for a Process Paragraph I. Topic: American Idol Auditions at Hollywood Studios II. Step 1 – Initial audition A. Sing to Disney cast member B. if you are good you continue on III. Step 2 – Second audition A. Select a song form the given list B. Sing to a producer C. if selected assigned to a preliminary show IV. Step 3 - Sing at a preliminary show A. audience votes for their favorite performer at the end of the show B. winners of preliminary shows perform at the final show of the day V. Step 4 Perform at the final show A. Compete against the winners of other preliminary shows. B. The winner gets a dream ticket VI. Conclusion - An opportunity to audition for the real show
  • 5. Drafting an Essay Topic: American Idol Auditions American Idol Auditions When you are auditioning for American Idol there are 4 steps that you have to go through in order to become a contestant. For some their dreams will come true while for others their dreams shatter way before they get the dream ticket to make it on to the final rounds of auditioning. Before you even go through the auditioning process you have to be 14 years old before you can go any further. Afterwards, you can sign up online or once you get to the audition that morning. You will sing your song in front of a Disney cast director if they like what they hear you move on to the next round. In round 2, you with a producer you will be asked to select a song from a list that will include varies types of music. Once the song is chosen you will sing along with a pre-recorded track. If you impress the producer you move on to the next step. Then comes the preliminary show, this takes place in a theater which seats 1,000 people and a stage that looks like the American Idol stage. The preliminary shows are shot each day in front of a live audience. You sing your song in front of the audience and they vote on their favorite singers and that allows them to move on to the final show. The last day of the show features all the winners of the preliminary show. They perform and the audience once again votes for their favorite singer only this time one winner is chosen for that day and whoever wins gets a dream ticket which allow them to pass the line at one of the regional auditions for the television show. The process of becoming a contestant for American Idol seems simple enough but you have to keep in mind that just because you made it through one round you have 3 others to go. It never hurts to pursue your dream.
  • 6. Transitions • Transitions are used to move the ideas in your writing from one step to the next in a smooth and seamless way. You can select a specific type of transition word or phrase to fit the relationship or connection between the ideas in your sentences or between your paragraphs. For example, below are some of the categories that transitions fit into: • Transitions to signal sequence • Transitions to signal time • Transitions to signal comparison • Transitions to signal contrast • Transitions to signal examples • Transitions to signal concession • Transitions to signal summary, repetition, or conclusion
  • 7. Transitions taken from The St. Martin’s Handbook (2003, pp. 126-127) as cited in Weaver’s Grammar to Enrich and Enhance Writing • Transitions to signal sequence: again, also, and, and then, besides, finally, first… second… third, furthermore, last, moreover, next, still, to • Transitions to signal time: after a few days, after a while, afterword, as long as, as soon as, at last, at that time, before, earlier, immediately, in the meantime, in the past, lately, later, meanwhile, now, presently, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, then, thereafter, until, when
  • 8. Transitions • Transitions to signal comparison: again, also, in the same way, likewise, once more, similarly • Transitions to signal contrast: although, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, nonetheless, on the contrary, on the one hand… on the other hand, regardless, still, though, yet • Transitions to signal examples: after all, even, for example, for instance, indeed, in fact, of course, specifically, such as, the following example, to illustrate
  • 9. Transitions • Transitions to signal cause-and-effect: accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence, so, then, therefore, thus, to this end • Transitions to signal place: above, and Jason two, below, beyond, closer to, elsewhere, far, far there on, here, near, nearby, opposite to, there, to the left, to the right
  • 10. Transitions • Transitions to signal concession: although it is true that, granted that, I admit that, it may appear that, naturally, of course • Transitions to signal summary, repetition, or conclusion: as a result, as has been noted, as I have said, as mentioned earlier, as we have seen, in any event, in conclusion, in other words, in short, on the whole, therefore, to summarize
  • 11. Revision When you have written a rough draft, it is important to always go back and re-read what you have written. Many people find that reading their work out loud helps them hear the areas in their writing that need additional attention. Use the revision checklist to revise, re-write and edit your writing for mechanical problems, grammar issues, content and organization issues
  • 12. Introduction Content Revisions American Idol Auditions 1st Draft When you are auditioning for American Idol there are 4 steps that you have to go through in order to become a contestant. For some their dreams will come true while for others their dreams shatter way before they get the dream ticket to make it on to the final rounds of auditioning.
  • 13. Introduction Revised For aspiring singers, The American Idol Experience at Hollywood Studies is a wonderful opportunity to get a feel for performing before a live audience and earning a ticket to the regional audition for the actual American Idol program. When you are auditioning for American Idol there are 4 steps that you have to go through in order to become a contestant. For some their dreams will come true while for others their dreams will be shattered way before they get the dream ticket to make it on to the final rounds of auditioning. When you are auditioning for American Idol there are four4 steps that you have to go through in order to become a contestantearn a “dream ticket”. Revision Comments: – Add an interesting topic sentence that grabs your reader’s attention and introduces them to the subject of your essay. – Move the THESIS to the end of the paragraph. – Edit the remaining sentences for word choice, spelling, mechanics, etc.
  • 14. Body Paragraph One 1st Draft Before you even go through the auditioning process you have to be 14 years old before you can go any further. Afterwards, you can sign up online or once you get to the audition that morning. You will sing your song in front of a Disney cast director if they like what they hear you move on to the next round.
  • 15. Body Paragraph One Revised Singers must make it through an initial audition, which also includes meeting certain criteria, before they can move on to the next round. Early in the process, candidates younger than 14 are eliminated. If you meet the age criteria, you can sign up online or when you arrive at Hollywood Studies. After you sign up, you will select a song and begin practicing for your audition. Before you even go through the auditioning process you have to be 14 years old before you can go any further. Afterwards, you can sign up online or once you get to the audition that morning. After a while you will sing your song in front of a Disney cast director if they like what they hear you move on to the next round. Revision comments: • Revise the topic sentence to make it clear and focused. • Add a transition to signal time • Another transition to help your paragraph move along smoothly from point to point . • Adding a transition at the end of your paragraph signals a final progression. • Revise any other words or sentences to improve the overall content.
  • 16. Body Paragraph Two Rough Draft In round 2, you with a producer you will be asked to select a song from a list that will include varies types of music. Once the song is chosen you will sing along with a pre-recorded track. If you impress the producer you move on to the next step.
  • 17. Body Paragraph Two Revised In round two , you will once again pick out a song to perform, only this time you will work with a producer. You will be asked to select a song from a list that includes various types of music. Then a producer will work with you to select the best song choice for your type of voice. Once the song is chosen you will sing along with a pre- recorded track , and hopefully you will impress the producer so that you can move on to the next step. Revision Comments: • Spell out numbers under 10. • Revise sentences that are awkward or could be worded better. • Correct any spelling or usage issues. • Add specific details to enhance the overall meaning of the paragraph. • Sometimes you will find opportunities to use a coordinating conjunction to combine two sentences.
  • 18. Body Paragraph Three Rough Draft Then comes the preliminary show, this takes place in a theater which seats 1,000 people and a stage that looks like the American Idol stage. The preliminary shows are shot each day in front of a live audience. You sing your song in front of the audience and they vote on their favorite singers and that allows them to move on to the final show.
  • 19. Body Paragraph Three Revised Finally, the preliminary show takes place Then comes the preliminary show, this takes place in a theater which seats 1,000 people and has a stage that looks like the American Idol stage. The preliminary shows are done each day in front of a live audience. The audience is made up of other guests at Hollywood Studies. This nerve wracking experience causes a lot of contestants to panic and back out, but if you are brave enough you will sing your song in front of the audience and they will vote on their favorite singers . Once the votes are tallied, the contestants find out who will move on to the final show. Revision Comments: • Add a transition word between paragraphs. You can also re-arrange the words in a sentence to improve the overall flow. • Make sure that you are not missing any modifiers. • Adding additional supporting detail sentences is an important part of the revision process • Adding a transition signals the reader that we are reaching another sequence in the events.
  • 20. Body Paragraph Four Rough Draft The last day of the show features all the winners of the preliminary show. They perform and the audience once again votes for their favorite singer only this time one winner is chosen for that day and whoever wins gets a dream ticket which allow them to pass the line at one of the regional auditions for the television show.
  • 21. Body Paragraph Four Revised If you are chosen by the voters, you will get to perform at the finale, which is the last show of the day. The last day of the show features all of the winners of This show features each of the winners from the preliminary shows. They perform and the audience once again votes for their favorite singer . Waiting for the results is scary, but also very exciting. Contestants start to dream about fame and fortune. Unfortunately, only one winner will be selected. The contestant chosen from the finale receives a “dream ticket,” winner is chosen for that day and whoever wins gets a dream ticket which allows them to skip pass the line at one of the regional auditions for the television show. This will bring them one step closer to achieving their dream of becoming the “next American Idol!” Revision Comments: • Re-word the topic sentence so that it connects this paragraph to the previous paragraph. This helps the essay flow from one paragraph to the next. • When revising look for areas in your paragraph where you can add additional supporting details. • Sometimes changing one word can make your meaning more clear. • If you use 3 or more words from another source, always put it in quotations. Also, using familiar phrasing can enhance your writing.
  • 22. Conclusion Rough Draft The process of becoming a contestant for American Idol seems simple enough but you have to keep in mind that just because you made it through one round you have 3 others to go. It never hurts to pursue your dream.
  • 23. Conclusion Revised On the whole, the process of becoming a contestant for American Idol seems simple enough , but you have to keep in mind that just because you made it through one round you have still have three others to go. It never hurts to pursue your dreams because even though it may be embarrassing and scary in the process, they just might come true! Revision Comments: • Add a transition that signals a conclusion. • Don’t forget to add a comma before FANBOYS (coordinating conjunction) that combines two independent clauses. • Spell out numbers under 10. • Add additional details to enhance your content and make your statements stronger.