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Managing Difficult Situations and People
                  BY
         Omole Adetoun (ACIPM)
Learning Objectives
At the end of the sessions, participants
  should be able to:
• describe the different situations that
  are termed “difficult”;
• identify people that could be
  regarded as difficult; and
• state ways of managing difficult
  situations and people.
Introduction
• Life is in cycles and phases.
• We all desire peaceful and joyful moments, but
  some unexpected events come up that leave us
  shaken and disturbed.
• Sometimes, some people we have to interact with
  makes life seemingly unbearable.
• Understanding these occurrences and learning to
  manage them appropriately is necessary.
• Our ability to manage difficult situations and
  people reflect positively in our lives and equip us
  to support others in similar situations.
Content
•   Learning Objectives
•   Introduction
•   Content
•   Characteristics and examples of difficult
    situations
•   Characteristics of difficult people
•   Wrong approaches and reactions to
    handling issues
•   Handling difficult situations
•   Handling difficult people
•   Conclusion
Characteristics of Difficult Situations
    Physical changes e.g. break out in sweat,
    tears, increased use of the toilet, very high
    or very low blood pressures
•   Disrupt planned schedules e.g. timetable or
    budget
•   Bring about confusion in deciding on the
    way forward or the best alternative
•   Increases high blood pressure (HBP)
•   Leads to emotional breakdown with feelings
    of rejection or depression or even loneliness
Examples of difficult situations
• Hearing a devastating news

• Physically Related – Terminal illness, extreme changes in health or
  unexpected change of environment

• Emotionally Related – Bereavement, Separation or Divorce,
  Loneliness, Unwanted pregnancy, Loss of pregnancy

• Financially Related – Loss of means of income, or savings or
  investment, fire incidences

• Mentally Related – Failure, Complete or partial loss of memory

• Addictions or habits one is trying to overcome
“Difficult” People
• You have negative feelings whenever you anticipate
  meeting them or even communicating with them; or
  whenever you have thoughts about them

• They leave you with negative feelings about yourself or
  situations

• They make you say or do what you don’t feel good
  about, or things you tend to always regret

• You are never on the same “page” and always seem to
  have conflicting opinions and preferences

• They are known to cause more chaos and confusion
  than order and peace
Managing difficult situations the right
               way . . .
• Be clear on the ones within your control and the ones out of your
  control
• Identify the cyclical ones, note it down in a diary or reminder to
  prepare psychologically for it, or put measures in place e.g.
  leaving early for an appointment as against rushing
• Have a support group; this could be family, group of friends,
  religious group or even one friend
• Try to develop a backup or alternative especially for financially
  related
• Express yourself without infecting harm on self or others….more
  for emotional ones where one is hurting and feels the need to cry
• Ask for help/collaboration
• Seek professional
Difficult situations and people. . .
builds your resilience – you become stronger, “I
 never knew I had such capacity to withstand this
 problem...”
challenges you i.e. puts you on your toes
empowers you to help/support others based on
 your experience
 shows you your “true” friends and relatives
Managing difficult
situations/people the
wrong way
   Pretence - denial

   Running away – avoidance

    Reacting rather than
responding

    Keeping quiet when you
ought to challenge the people or
situation. Be assertive and don’t
concede

     Inability to seek appropriate
and timely counsel

      Failure to disclose the actual
facts ( as the case may).


      Becoming physical
Manage difficult situations and
            people by....
• Having a positive image of yourself
• Understanding the different personality types
• Avoiding pre-judgments
• Identifying the positive traits of these people
  and leveraging on them
• Discovering their expectations or issues and
  working around it, especially if seasonal e.g.
  your boss, supervisor, parents/spouse etc
Class Activity



 Discuss some practical ways of
 managing difficult situations and
 people that has worked for you
Conclusion
 As long as we are in this world, one is likely to be faced with
  situations and people that are termed “difficult”.

 Taking the wrong approaches whenever these occur leave one
  even worse than desirable.

 Identify these difficult situations and people early enough and
  develop the ability and maturity to manage them.

 With the experiences gained in this regard, one is also able to
  provide support to others who may be passing through such
  difficult situations.
Reading lists
For further study:
• Heller, R. (1998). Communicate Clearly. Dorling
  Kindersley Limited, London.
• Templar, R. (2003). The Rules of Work. Pearson
  Education Limited. Edinburgh Gate.
• Ziglar, Z. (2006). Better Than Good. Thomas
  Nelson. Nashville, Tenn.
• Maxwell, J.C. ( 2007). Talent Is Never Enough.
  Thomas Nelson Inc.
The End



Thank you for your attention, Bye for now.

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Managing Difficult Situations and People

  • 1. Managing Difficult Situations and People BY Omole Adetoun (ACIPM)
  • 2. Learning Objectives At the end of the sessions, participants should be able to: • describe the different situations that are termed “difficult”; • identify people that could be regarded as difficult; and • state ways of managing difficult situations and people.
  • 3. Introduction • Life is in cycles and phases. • We all desire peaceful and joyful moments, but some unexpected events come up that leave us shaken and disturbed. • Sometimes, some people we have to interact with makes life seemingly unbearable. • Understanding these occurrences and learning to manage them appropriately is necessary. • Our ability to manage difficult situations and people reflect positively in our lives and equip us to support others in similar situations.
  • 4. Content • Learning Objectives • Introduction • Content • Characteristics and examples of difficult situations • Characteristics of difficult people • Wrong approaches and reactions to handling issues • Handling difficult situations • Handling difficult people • Conclusion
  • 5. Characteristics of Difficult Situations Physical changes e.g. break out in sweat, tears, increased use of the toilet, very high or very low blood pressures • Disrupt planned schedules e.g. timetable or budget • Bring about confusion in deciding on the way forward or the best alternative • Increases high blood pressure (HBP) • Leads to emotional breakdown with feelings of rejection or depression or even loneliness
  • 6. Examples of difficult situations • Hearing a devastating news • Physically Related – Terminal illness, extreme changes in health or unexpected change of environment • Emotionally Related – Bereavement, Separation or Divorce, Loneliness, Unwanted pregnancy, Loss of pregnancy • Financially Related – Loss of means of income, or savings or investment, fire incidences • Mentally Related – Failure, Complete or partial loss of memory • Addictions or habits one is trying to overcome
  • 7. “Difficult” People • You have negative feelings whenever you anticipate meeting them or even communicating with them; or whenever you have thoughts about them • They leave you with negative feelings about yourself or situations • They make you say or do what you don’t feel good about, or things you tend to always regret • You are never on the same “page” and always seem to have conflicting opinions and preferences • They are known to cause more chaos and confusion than order and peace
  • 8. Managing difficult situations the right way . . . • Be clear on the ones within your control and the ones out of your control • Identify the cyclical ones, note it down in a diary or reminder to prepare psychologically for it, or put measures in place e.g. leaving early for an appointment as against rushing • Have a support group; this could be family, group of friends, religious group or even one friend • Try to develop a backup or alternative especially for financially related • Express yourself without infecting harm on self or others….more for emotional ones where one is hurting and feels the need to cry • Ask for help/collaboration • Seek professional
  • 9. Difficult situations and people. . . builds your resilience – you become stronger, “I never knew I had such capacity to withstand this problem...” challenges you i.e. puts you on your toes empowers you to help/support others based on your experience  shows you your “true” friends and relatives
  • 10. Managing difficult situations/people the wrong way  Pretence - denial  Running away – avoidance  Reacting rather than responding  Keeping quiet when you ought to challenge the people or situation. Be assertive and don’t concede  Inability to seek appropriate and timely counsel  Failure to disclose the actual facts ( as the case may).  Becoming physical
  • 11. Manage difficult situations and people by.... • Having a positive image of yourself • Understanding the different personality types • Avoiding pre-judgments • Identifying the positive traits of these people and leveraging on them • Discovering their expectations or issues and working around it, especially if seasonal e.g. your boss, supervisor, parents/spouse etc
  • 12. Class Activity Discuss some practical ways of managing difficult situations and people that has worked for you
  • 13. Conclusion  As long as we are in this world, one is likely to be faced with situations and people that are termed “difficult”.  Taking the wrong approaches whenever these occur leave one even worse than desirable.  Identify these difficult situations and people early enough and develop the ability and maturity to manage them.  With the experiences gained in this regard, one is also able to provide support to others who may be passing through such difficult situations.
  • 14. Reading lists For further study: • Heller, R. (1998). Communicate Clearly. Dorling Kindersley Limited, London. • Templar, R. (2003). The Rules of Work. Pearson Education Limited. Edinburgh Gate. • Ziglar, Z. (2006). Better Than Good. Thomas Nelson. Nashville, Tenn. • Maxwell, J.C. ( 2007). Talent Is Never Enough. Thomas Nelson Inc.
  • 15. The End Thank you for your attention, Bye for now.