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Building Soul
Force:
Changing to Stay
Stable in
Challenging
Times
I Am Not Your Dad
The Why
Overview
Some Tools to Creating
Space for Change
Ways Our Expectations and
Perceptions Lead Us Astray
The Prediction Machine and
How it Works
Two
Equations
from Brad
Stulberg
Happiness=
Reality –
Expectations.
Suffering=
Pain x
Resistance
Lens/Frame/Filter
for When Thinking’s
What You Do
Lawyer
Tools to
Filter and
Frame
Reality
• Your Uniqueness
• Seek and Present
Information
• Work on Your
Own/Compete
• Avoid Risk and Find
Certainty
• Think Criticially (With
Skepticism, Pessimism)
• Follow the Rules/Conform
• Play it Safe
Use of
the Tools
• Seek Compensation,
Clients, Advancement
• Get Access, Status,
Information, Affirmation
(from Clients, Decision-
makers, Higher-Ups)
• Avoid Blame in a Zero-Sum
Game
• Extrinsic and Linear
The
Tools
Narrow
the Lens
“Please remove the
‘e’ in ‘judgement’ in
one of your slides
(towards the end).”
Lawyers Tools and Defaults
Your Brain is Not For Thinking: It’s a Prediction Machine (So You Don’t
Waste Time Thinking)
What Does Your Brain Expect to Happen?
https://www.polar.com/blog/recovery-from-
exercise/
Your Brain Expects You
Won’t Eat Again (Scarcity)
The
Prediction
Machine
Works Well
When
Scarcity
Exists
Perhaps Less So When The
Target Just Moves
We Can’t Get Enough of
Those Expectations . . .
Cultural Expectations
Suggest to the person next to you that
you are not living your best life now,
and in fact things have gotten
precipitously worse since last you met.
And then notice the kind of responses
you get . . .
Our Expectations Make Us a Tool
Expectations
Ratchet up …
Acute Stress is Good
The Distress of Chronic
Expectations
Chronic Stress and the Mind/Body
(No Recovery)
What Do We Miss When
Distress Sticks?
Urgent Expectations
Shortcuts
and
Perception
of Reality
• Natural Selection and
Survival
• The Tribe
• The Fundamental
Attribution Error
My Perception, My Reality
Notice The Stories You Tell (Where Reality
and Expectations May Diverge)
Livin’ the Dream
Another Day in
Paradise
My Dad didn’t do
any housework
These Goldern
Millennials and
Everybody Gets a
Trophy
These Goldern
Baby Boomers Just
Trying to Retire
I Don’t Think
______ Woulda’
Done it This Way
I Don’t Do
Technology
What happened to
all the associates?
I Just Want to
Retire Before
Things Get Any
More Crazy.
“Don’t attribute to malice something that
can be simply explained by incompetence.”
Hanlon’s Razor
Don’t Fight
the Process:
Change is the
Process
“The term "resilience" means the ability to prepare
for and adapt to changing conditions and withstand
and recover rapidly from disruptions. Resilience
includes the ability to withstand and recover from
deliberate attacks, accidents, or naturally occurring
threats or incidents.”
“The terms "secure" and "security" refer to reducing
the risk to critical infrastructure by physical means or
defense cyber measures to intrusions, attacks, or the
effects of natural or manmade disasters.”
Presidential Policy Directive—Critical Infrastructure
Security and Resilience, February 12, 2013
“Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face
of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant
sources of stress — such as family and relationship
problems, serious health problems or workplace and
financial stressors. It means ‘bouncing back’ from
difficult experiences.” – American Psychological
Association
Widen the
Lens to
Allow Yes,
AND
Widening the Lens is Relatively Easy
Ways To Notice Your Short Cuts
Give Your Brain
What it Needs
Make
Observations
Rather than
Judgements
Seek Out
Counterfactuals
Change Predictions
as You Gather
Evidence
Develop Empathy Be Curious
Fear (“Need” for Safety) and
Curiosity (Willingness to Learn
and Change) Can’t Co-Exist
Let Go to Get a Clear View
of Reality
Tools to Respond and Recover
(Build Space and Energy to Adapt)
Breath
Exercise
Habits and Routines
(Process), but not Ruts
Allow for Rest and
Recovery
Cultivate Awe
Space for
Awe
Practice Gratitude -5 Minutes a Day
Practice
Gratitude
By Giving
Find the Circles
Dance with the Elephant
Embrace the Paradoxes . . .
Resources
• Brad Stulberg, Master of Change: How to Change When Everything is Changing –
Including You, https://www.amazon.com/Master-Change-Everything-Changing-
Including/dp/006325316X
• Jeena Cho, The Anxious Lawyer, https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Lawyer-Satisfying-
Mindfulness-Meditation/dp/1627226249
• Baba Shiv, How Do You Find Breakthrough Ideas?, Stanford Graduate School of
Business, http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/baba-shiv-how-do-you-find-breakthrough-
ideas
• The Resilient Lawyer http://theanxiouslawyer.com/rl-23-jack-pringle/
• Farnham Street https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/
• One You Feed With Michael Taft http://www.oneyoufeed.net/michael-taft/
• Tim Ferris with Brene Brown http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/08/28/brene-
brown-on-vulnerability-and-home-run-ted-talks/
• On Being With Ellen Langer http://www.onbeing.org/program/ellen-langer-science-of-
mindlessness-and-mindfulness/6332
• You Are Not So Smart http://youarenotsosmart.libsyn.com/062-naive-realism-lee-ross-
0
• “Living (Happily) Surrounded by Conflict: Surprise! How Lawyers are Leading the
Mindfulness Revolution,” Judi Cohen, http://warriorone.com/wp-
content/uploads/2015/03/Living-Happily-Surrounded-by-Conflict.pdf
• “What Resilient Lawyers Do Differently,” Paula Davis-Laack,
https://www.forbes.com/sites/pauladavislaack/2017/09/26/what-resilient-lawyers-do-
differently/#67617c313495
More
Resources
• The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, by Atul
Gawande http://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things-
Right/dp/0312430000
• Where Ancient Faiths Meet Modern Lives, Aspen Ideas to Go,
https://www.aspenideas.org/podcasts/where-ancient-faiths-meet-
modern-lives
• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D
http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol-
Dweck/dp/0345472322
• Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam
Grant http://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others-
Success/dp/0143124986
• The Algebra of Happiness: Notes on the Pursuit of Success, Love,
and Meaning, Scott Galloway, https://www.amazon.com/Algebra-
Happiness-Pursuit-Success-Meaning/dp/0593084195
• “Art of Letting Other People Have Your Way: Negotiating Secrets
with Chris Voss,” The Knowledge Project Podcast,
https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2018/01/chris-voss/
• “How Jon Hamm and Rob Dyrdek Stay Reslient”,
https://www.wsj.com/articles/jon-hamm-rob-dyrdek-resilient-
11632486870?fbclid=IwAR39zUpFinudaNvQh1pHo1lbLDK0FzoiQ8jOnz
K9K10zY0GxoNya6Uxo7f0
• “Here’s why a dose of intentional stress can supercharge your
team,” Britt Booth, Fast Company
https://www.fastcompany.com/90600010/heres-why-a-dose-of-
intentional-stress-can-supercharge-your-team

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2024-02-16 Building Soul Force- Changing to Stay Stable in Challenging Times.pdf

  • 1. Building Soul Force: Changing to Stay Stable in Challenging Times
  • 2.
  • 3. I Am Not Your Dad
  • 5.
  • 6. Overview Some Tools to Creating Space for Change Ways Our Expectations and Perceptions Lead Us Astray The Prediction Machine and How it Works
  • 9. Lawyer Tools to Filter and Frame Reality • Your Uniqueness • Seek and Present Information • Work on Your Own/Compete • Avoid Risk and Find Certainty • Think Criticially (With Skepticism, Pessimism) • Follow the Rules/Conform • Play it Safe
  • 10. Use of the Tools • Seek Compensation, Clients, Advancement • Get Access, Status, Information, Affirmation (from Clients, Decision- makers, Higher-Ups) • Avoid Blame in a Zero-Sum Game • Extrinsic and Linear
  • 11. The Tools Narrow the Lens “Please remove the ‘e’ in ‘judgement’ in one of your slides (towards the end).”
  • 12. Lawyers Tools and Defaults
  • 13. Your Brain is Not For Thinking: It’s a Prediction Machine (So You Don’t Waste Time Thinking)
  • 14. What Does Your Brain Expect to Happen? https://www.polar.com/blog/recovery-from- exercise/
  • 15. Your Brain Expects You Won’t Eat Again (Scarcity)
  • 17. Perhaps Less So When The Target Just Moves
  • 18. We Can’t Get Enough of Those Expectations . . .
  • 19. Cultural Expectations Suggest to the person next to you that you are not living your best life now, and in fact things have gotten precipitously worse since last you met. And then notice the kind of responses you get . . .
  • 23. The Distress of Chronic Expectations
  • 24. Chronic Stress and the Mind/Body (No Recovery)
  • 25. What Do We Miss When Distress Sticks?
  • 26.
  • 28. Shortcuts and Perception of Reality • Natural Selection and Survival • The Tribe • The Fundamental Attribution Error
  • 29.
  • 30. My Perception, My Reality
  • 31.
  • 32.
  • 33.
  • 34. Notice The Stories You Tell (Where Reality and Expectations May Diverge) Livin’ the Dream Another Day in Paradise My Dad didn’t do any housework These Goldern Millennials and Everybody Gets a Trophy These Goldern Baby Boomers Just Trying to Retire I Don’t Think ______ Woulda’ Done it This Way I Don’t Do Technology What happened to all the associates? I Just Want to Retire Before Things Get Any More Crazy.
  • 35. “Don’t attribute to malice something that can be simply explained by incompetence.” Hanlon’s Razor
  • 36. Don’t Fight the Process: Change is the Process “The term "resilience" means the ability to prepare for and adapt to changing conditions and withstand and recover rapidly from disruptions. Resilience includes the ability to withstand and recover from deliberate attacks, accidents, or naturally occurring threats or incidents.” “The terms "secure" and "security" refer to reducing the risk to critical infrastructure by physical means or defense cyber measures to intrusions, attacks, or the effects of natural or manmade disasters.” Presidential Policy Directive—Critical Infrastructure Security and Resilience, February 12, 2013 “Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means ‘bouncing back’ from difficult experiences.” – American Psychological Association
  • 38. Widening the Lens is Relatively Easy
  • 39. Ways To Notice Your Short Cuts Give Your Brain What it Needs Make Observations Rather than Judgements Seek Out Counterfactuals Change Predictions as You Gather Evidence Develop Empathy Be Curious
  • 40. Fear (“Need” for Safety) and Curiosity (Willingness to Learn and Change) Can’t Co-Exist
  • 41.
  • 42. Let Go to Get a Clear View of Reality
  • 43. Tools to Respond and Recover (Build Space and Energy to Adapt) Breath Exercise Habits and Routines (Process), but not Ruts Allow for Rest and Recovery Cultivate Awe
  • 45. Practice Gratitude -5 Minutes a Day
  • 48. Dance with the Elephant
  • 50. Resources • Brad Stulberg, Master of Change: How to Change When Everything is Changing – Including You, https://www.amazon.com/Master-Change-Everything-Changing- Including/dp/006325316X • Jeena Cho, The Anxious Lawyer, https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Lawyer-Satisfying- Mindfulness-Meditation/dp/1627226249 • Baba Shiv, How Do You Find Breakthrough Ideas?, Stanford Graduate School of Business, http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/baba-shiv-how-do-you-find-breakthrough- ideas • The Resilient Lawyer http://theanxiouslawyer.com/rl-23-jack-pringle/ • Farnham Street https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/ • One You Feed With Michael Taft http://www.oneyoufeed.net/michael-taft/ • Tim Ferris with Brene Brown http://fourhourworkweek.com/2015/08/28/brene- brown-on-vulnerability-and-home-run-ted-talks/ • On Being With Ellen Langer http://www.onbeing.org/program/ellen-langer-science-of- mindlessness-and-mindfulness/6332 • You Are Not So Smart http://youarenotsosmart.libsyn.com/062-naive-realism-lee-ross- 0 • “Living (Happily) Surrounded by Conflict: Surprise! How Lawyers are Leading the Mindfulness Revolution,” Judi Cohen, http://warriorone.com/wp- content/uploads/2015/03/Living-Happily-Surrounded-by-Conflict.pdf • “What Resilient Lawyers Do Differently,” Paula Davis-Laack, https://www.forbes.com/sites/pauladavislaack/2017/09/26/what-resilient-lawyers-do- differently/#67617c313495
  • 51. More Resources • The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, by Atul Gawande http://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things- Right/dp/0312430000 • Where Ancient Faiths Meet Modern Lives, Aspen Ideas to Go, https://www.aspenideas.org/podcasts/where-ancient-faiths-meet- modern-lives • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol- Dweck/dp/0345472322 • Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success, by Adam Grant http://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others- Success/dp/0143124986 • The Algebra of Happiness: Notes on the Pursuit of Success, Love, and Meaning, Scott Galloway, https://www.amazon.com/Algebra- Happiness-Pursuit-Success-Meaning/dp/0593084195 • “Art of Letting Other People Have Your Way: Negotiating Secrets with Chris Voss,” The Knowledge Project Podcast, https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2018/01/chris-voss/ • “How Jon Hamm and Rob Dyrdek Stay Reslient”, https://www.wsj.com/articles/jon-hamm-rob-dyrdek-resilient- 11632486870?fbclid=IwAR39zUpFinudaNvQh1pHo1lbLDK0FzoiQ8jOnz K9K10zY0GxoNya6Uxo7f0 • “Here’s why a dose of intentional stress can supercharge your team,” Britt Booth, Fast Company https://www.fastcompany.com/90600010/heres-why-a-dose-of- intentional-stress-can-supercharge-your-team