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Selfless love 4 17-2010


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Selfless love talk delivered by Bill and Dawn Bowan at the Young Couples Fellowship at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wisconsin. April 17, 2010.

Published in: Spiritual

Selfless love 4 17-2010

  1. 1. Love Like Christ April 17, 2010
  2. 2. I Corinthians 13: 1-8 <ul><li>1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. </li></ul>
  3. 3. I Corinthians 13: 1-8 <ul><li>4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. </li></ul>
  4. 4. Last Week’s Focus: Unconditional Love <ul><li>Unconditional Love is Active </li></ul><ul><li>Unconditional Love is Sacrificial </li></ul><ul><li>Unconditional Love is Kind </li></ul><ul><li>Unconditional Love is Persevering </li></ul>
  5. 5. Selfless Love <ul><li>Does our culture encourage selfless love? </li></ul><ul><li>How can we model Christ’s example of selfless love? </li></ul><ul><li>Why is it important to be selfless? </li></ul><ul><li>What does selfless love look like in marriage? </li></ul>
  6. 7. First question – How selfless are we? <ul><li>Generation X through Millennials </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Short sighted </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Short attention spans </li></ul></ul><ul><li>How did we get this way </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Helicopter parenting </li></ul></ul><ul><li>What does it mean for our marriage? </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Are we committed to ourselves or our marriage? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Do “two become one”? </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>How can we live our faith in our marriage? </li></ul></ul>
  7. 8. Marriage Statistics <ul><li>Marriage, like most things takes time! </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Most couples need 9-14 years to develop a “oneness” in marriage </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Average marriages only last 8 years </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Unfortunately Christians follow this trend </li></ul></ul>
  8. 10. Matthew 20 : 26-28 <ul><li>26 …whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. </li></ul>
  9. 11. John 13 : 4-5 <ul><li>4 So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. </li></ul>
  10. 13. Philippians 2 : 3-4 <ul><li>3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. </li></ul>
  11. 14. Daily Focus on Selflessness <ul><li>“ Each day we must die to our own desires and rise as a servant. Each day we are called to identify with the suffering Christ on the cross, and then be empowered by the resurrected Christ. We die to our expectations, our demands, and our fears. We rise to compromise, service and courage.” </li></ul><ul><li>- Gary Thomas’ Sacred Marriage </li></ul>
  12. 15. What should drive our selfless living? <ul><li>“ The first purpose in marriage – beyond happiness, sexual expression, the bearing of children, companionship, mutual care and provision, or anything else – is to please God. The challenge, of course, is that it is utterly selfless living; rather than asking, “What will make me happy?” we are told we must ask, “What will make God happy?” </li></ul><ul><li>- Gary Thomas’ Sacred Marriage </li></ul>
  13. 16. Romantic Sunset on the Lake?
  14. 17. Family Trip 2009
  15. 18. What do we need to remember about selfless love? <ul><li>We need to be God-dependent and not self-dependent or spouse-dependent. </li></ul><ul><li>There are times to be a servant and times to be served. </li></ul><ul><li>Our sacrifice might go unnoticed at times. </li></ul>
  16. 20. Romans 12 : 9-13 <ul><li>9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. </li></ul>
  17. 21. Ephesians 5 : 25-33 <ul><li>25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkles or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. </li></ul>
  18. 22. Ephesians 5 : 25-33 <ul><li>29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect the husband. </li></ul>
  19. 23. One + One = One! <ul><li>We are to be joined together as one in marriage and Christ and the Church are joined together </li></ul><ul><li>When we are joined together in marriage we cease to be separate individuals </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Often this reality does not manifest itself immediately </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Oneness cannot happen without </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Selflessness </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>A personal relationship with Christ </li></ul></ul></ul>
  20. 24. Celebrating Our 6 th Anniversary
  21. 26. How can you demonstrate selfless love in your marriage? <ul><li>Understand the value in the small stuff. </li></ul><ul><li>Challenge yourself to respond as Christ would. </li></ul><ul><li>Make spiritual growth an individual priority and a priority as a couple. </li></ul><ul><li>Think long term when responding to your spouse. </li></ul>
  22. 27. Small Group Discussion <ul><li>Jesus was the most powerful person to ever walk this earth, and he chose to serve. How does this example speak to the way a Christian husband and wife should treat each other? </li></ul><ul><li>Name an example of a time when your spouse demonstrated selflessness. </li></ul><ul><li>What practical ways have you and your spouse focused on spiritual growth in your marriage? </li></ul><ul><li>Name an example of a married couple you know who exhibits selflessness and who are God-focused. </li></ul>