<ul><li>Floods  (or water in general)? </li></ul><ul><li>Being cold? </li></ul><ul><li>Boring commutes? </li></ul><ul><li>...
If you answered yes to any of those questions….. <ul><li>Why not move to Iraq? </li></ul><ul><li>Iraq has recently been vo...
Everybody’s doing it This could be you!
It’s Warm Here If you think 128.3 degrees is great, Just wait until July and August. It will be even more awesome!
Signs are easy to follow This makes people feel comfortable, because they know exactly what to do. You just don’t duck. Yo...
Iraq has very liberal pet policies You can bring your donkey anywhere.
You can herd your sheep anywhere Where’s the F@#*ing grass?
No leash, no vaccines, nooooo problem Americans can’t let their sheep, donkeys, and dogs run wild in their city streets. G...
Yes. Fresh, Disinfected, Non Potable Water  IS  available
Fine Dining Everywhere Bring your hand sanitizer and some Imodium AD
Our sidewalk cafes may remind you of Paris…..
Mais non monsieur, this is a different kind of paradise. There’s just nothing like eating a meal in fresh air
Just like mom used to make.
You don’t have to buy stickers to make it look like your vehicle is riddled with bullet holes. Spend that money somewhere ...
Think how much a sticker to make your truck look like this would cost! You’re saving money just sitting there.
You can find tires anywhere Concrete too.
The best ones are stacked on the roof, so make sure you ask to see those first.
There. There And there!
If you like smoking, but don’t like getting hit by shrapnel, you’re in luck Smoking permitted. Mortars are not.
The fairgrounds are only 40 years old Seriously, this Ferris Wheel is completely safe. Don’t be a pussy.
No pesky “Adopt The Highway” programs…
That’s what fences are for Nature’s way of collecting garbage.
You won’t have to worry about streetlights keeping you up at night Not going to bother you.
Who needs trained electricians? Seriously, what harm could come out of haphazardly positioned electrical wires?
Road signs and lanes are just suggestions Aaaw…F@#*  it!
Tired of sitting? Just get out of your car wherever and whenever you feel like it.
Well, maybe not here.
Carpooling is encouraged… … air conditioning is not  (remember, it’s not even 130 degrees yet).
If you don’t like your car, chances are an IED will take care of that problem for you After Much better Before
Yard Sales every weekend! Buy two rounds, get a third one free.
Our soccer fields are in pristine condition Nothing slows down an errant soccer ball like a pile of crap.
Can anyone say World Cup 2014?
Book your trip to our world class health spa now No diving please
Some packages include golf too Be one of the first to play on our championship course
Our healthcare system is second to none Heart attack? Ulcers? Asthma? Cancer? No worries, we have a backboard.
Where else can you find a vending machine full of explosives?
Picnics are more fun here Try to find a table like this at Yellow Stone.
So is sleeping under the stars Again, try to find a campground like this at Yosemite.
Gated Communities like none you have seen before The concrete walls say “exclusive”.
Hurry while lots are still available! Classy
There are plenty of listings that have recently been reduced in price Seller  very  motivated.
Furnished houses are available
Rooftop access available to most penthouse residents The snipers won’t even disturb your nap schedule on most days.
Botanical gardens? Nope. This could be your new backyard Actual live vine. Just needs 27 gallons of water a day to survive...
We take neighborhood watch very seriously Huge towers equipped with .50 caliber machine guns tell would-be criminals to mo...
You can’t beat the views * * Standing near windows may result in bodily harm or death.
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Move Here

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Move Here

  1. 1. <ul><li>Floods (or water in general)? </li></ul><ul><li>Being cold? </li></ul><ul><li>Boring commutes? </li></ul><ul><li>Market fluctuations? </li></ul><ul><li>Grass? </li></ul>Are you tired of any of the following….
  2. 2. If you answered yes to any of those questions….. <ul><li>Why not move to Iraq? </li></ul><ul><li>Iraq has recently been voted as one the top 987,000 places in which to raise a family. * </li></ul><ul><li>* Statement from the Iraqi Ministry of Tourism has not been validated by any accredited agency in the universe. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Everybody’s doing it This could be you!
  4. 4. It’s Warm Here If you think 128.3 degrees is great, Just wait until July and August. It will be even more awesome!
  5. 5. Signs are easy to follow This makes people feel comfortable, because they know exactly what to do. You just don’t duck. You cover too.
  6. 6. Iraq has very liberal pet policies You can bring your donkey anywhere.
  7. 7. You can herd your sheep anywhere Where’s the F@#*ing grass?
  8. 8. No leash, no vaccines, nooooo problem Americans can’t let their sheep, donkeys, and dogs run wild in their city streets. Gosh. We’re lucky we live in Baghdad!
  9. 9. Yes. Fresh, Disinfected, Non Potable Water IS available
  10. 10. Fine Dining Everywhere Bring your hand sanitizer and some Imodium AD
  11. 11. Our sidewalk cafes may remind you of Paris…..
  12. 12. Mais non monsieur, this is a different kind of paradise. There’s just nothing like eating a meal in fresh air
  13. 13. Just like mom used to make.
  14. 14. You don’t have to buy stickers to make it look like your vehicle is riddled with bullet holes. Spend that money somewhere else!
  15. 15. Think how much a sticker to make your truck look like this would cost! You’re saving money just sitting there.
  16. 16. You can find tires anywhere Concrete too.
  17. 17. The best ones are stacked on the roof, so make sure you ask to see those first.
  18. 18. There. There And there!
  19. 19. If you like smoking, but don’t like getting hit by shrapnel, you’re in luck Smoking permitted. Mortars are not.
  20. 20. The fairgrounds are only 40 years old Seriously, this Ferris Wheel is completely safe. Don’t be a pussy.
  21. 21. No pesky “Adopt The Highway” programs…
  22. 22. That’s what fences are for Nature’s way of collecting garbage.
  23. 23. You won’t have to worry about streetlights keeping you up at night Not going to bother you.
  24. 24. Who needs trained electricians? Seriously, what harm could come out of haphazardly positioned electrical wires?
  25. 25. Road signs and lanes are just suggestions Aaaw…F@#* it!
  26. 26. Tired of sitting? Just get out of your car wherever and whenever you feel like it.
  27. 27. Well, maybe not here.
  28. 28. Carpooling is encouraged… … air conditioning is not (remember, it’s not even 130 degrees yet).
  29. 29. If you don’t like your car, chances are an IED will take care of that problem for you After Much better Before
  30. 30. Yard Sales every weekend! Buy two rounds, get a third one free.
  31. 31. Our soccer fields are in pristine condition Nothing slows down an errant soccer ball like a pile of crap.
  32. 32. Can anyone say World Cup 2014?
  33. 33. Book your trip to our world class health spa now No diving please
  34. 34. Some packages include golf too Be one of the first to play on our championship course
  35. 35. Our healthcare system is second to none Heart attack? Ulcers? Asthma? Cancer? No worries, we have a backboard.
  36. 36. Where else can you find a vending machine full of explosives?
  37. 37. Picnics are more fun here Try to find a table like this at Yellow Stone.
  38. 38. So is sleeping under the stars Again, try to find a campground like this at Yosemite.
  39. 39. Gated Communities like none you have seen before The concrete walls say “exclusive”.
  40. 40. Hurry while lots are still available! Classy
  41. 41. There are plenty of listings that have recently been reduced in price Seller very motivated.
  42. 42. Furnished houses are available
  43. 43. Rooftop access available to most penthouse residents The snipers won’t even disturb your nap schedule on most days.
  44. 44. Botanical gardens? Nope. This could be your new backyard Actual live vine. Just needs 27 gallons of water a day to survive in the summer.
  45. 45. We take neighborhood watch very seriously Huge towers equipped with .50 caliber machine guns tell would-be criminals to move on to the next neighborhood.
  46. 46. You can’t beat the views * * Standing near windows may result in bodily harm or death.

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