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#NOECM: DAVE SACKETT’S GROUND RULES

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DAVE SACKETT’S GROUND RULES FOR VISITING LECTURESHIPS

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#NOECM: DAVE SACKETT’S GROUND RULES

  1. 1. DAVE SACKETT’S GROUND RULES FOR VISITING LECTURESHIPS/PROFESSORSHIPS Preamble: I’m really flattered by, and appreciative of, your kind invitation to me to come and visit your conference/ meeting/ institution. And I’ve tentatively accepted your invitation because I think that my reluctance to leave my forest home, coupled with the exasperations of contemporary travel (perhaps exacerbated by border crossings), will be outweighed by the wonderful people I’ll meet (again and anew) and the interesting and important new things that I’ll learn from you. At the same time, because I have no secretary, no professional assistant, no accountant, and – after surviving close to 1,000 lectureships and over 100 visiting professorships – no remnant of either sympathy or patience with bureaucracies of any description – I would far rather stay home than fall into the hands of your administrators, whether they be of the educational, administrative, or financial varieties. Accordingly, if you can’t abide my curmudgeonly insistence on the following ground rules, we will both breathe a sigh of relief from the withdrawal of your invitation. Ground Rules: 1. In addition to the primary purpose for my visit, I’m happy to provide one or more of the additional sessions described in the attached “stuff that Dave Sackett can do…” 2. The total number of minutes I spend filling out all forms of any sort for your bureaucrats must be shorter than the length of my main address (prior to the question period). 3. I don’t ‘do’ tax forms, especially those imposed upon ‘foreign visitors’ (Alien Certificates, Form 8233s, etc). If you’re not skilled/devious enough to work around these, please reconsider your invitation. 4. As I have never seen any speaker’s “head & shoulders” photo that didn’t make its subject look like a total dork, I shall not send you mine. 5. I will not provide any biosketch, manuscript, précis, summary, ‘educational objectives,’ slide set, or other material that is not requested by you in your first, formal letter of invitation. 6. I value comfortable travel (Business or First Class) and accommodation far above honoraria, happily sacrifice the latter for the former, and may require an advance payment for travel, including transport between my forest home and the nearest airport. 6.1. Similarly, I request that you handle my hotel bill directly. 7. I enjoy informal dinners as opportunities for conversation (especially with the young), and (‘tho my hearing is normal) refuse to compete with loud background music or other noise. My tastes are distinctly proletarian and run to simple Italian. Fine wines are wasted on me.

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