SlideShare a Scribd company logo
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Multiple Selves?!
Growing leaders applied.
Cosima Laube // #AgileTD 2019
( my pronouns: she/her)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Why are YOU here?
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Why I am here...
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Bridge Builder & Travel Guide
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Growing Leaders?
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Leader-ship
is an activity
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
“Growing leaders”
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Leadership
is a journey
that starts with your self
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Multiple Selves?
Self!
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
mental illness
cognitive dissonance
wearing multiple hats/roles
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
concepts
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
awareness
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
context
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
concept contextawareness
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Resilient, flexible Self
self as
concept
self as
context
self as awareness
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Resilient, flexible Self
stories
(old & current)
past-oriented
“data”
from body
and mind
present-moment
looking at the data
and the stories
like “sitting on a bench”
self as
concept
self as
context
self as awareness
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Mindfulness
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Cover-image of the movie
“Karate kid”
showcasing that Mindfulness needs practise
like Karate needs practise -
regular practise of seemingly easy, unrelated
“things”.
(image removed in public version because of
copyright)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Three breaths
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Leadership
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Leadership
is a journey
that starts with your self
and involves others
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
One minute / moment to arrive
(individually
or as group check-in)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Shift to connection
(variation of 3 breaths)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Done?...yet?
Are we...
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
#1 - Stress
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Beliefs // Assumptions // Judgements
Comparison with others
“I deserve that <promotion>”
“I cannot do this”
“I AM inadequate”
Ruminating at night or day
∞
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Just “make it go away”?
We cannot solve our problems
with the same thinking
(that) we used
when we created them.
[A. Einstein]
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Comic-style image from the book “Quiet the Mind” by Matthew Johnstone
(https://matthewjohnstone.com.au/product/quiet-the-mind/)
Image shows a human lying in bed on a pillow.
Their brain is standing outside their skull happily “talking”
to the seemingly unhappy human who is trying to get some sleep
(image removed in public version because of copyright)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Just “make it go away”?
Work on a bigger “mental torch”
self as awarenessself as
concept
self as
context
self as awareness
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Check your
Self-Talk
unhelpful (old) stories?
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
#2 - Decisions
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
when to lead
and
when to follow
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
when to do sth.
and
when NOT TO DO sth.
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
I better should… // I must…
I do not want, but…
Procrastination // Avoidance
“Better avoid this!”
“I hate... but I have to do ... anyway.”
am I (really) doing “the right things”?
∞
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
F.E.A.R.
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Fusion with thoughts
Evaluation of experience
Avoidance of experience
Reason-giving of behaviour
Our own mental box of F.E.A.R....
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Fusion with thoughts
Evaluation of experience
Avoidance of experience
Reason-giving of behaviour
What if you can shrink that box...?
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
ED
A
Fusion with thoughts
Evaluation of experience
Avoidance of experience
Reason-giving of behaviour
… shrink F.E.A.R. and D.A.R.E. more!
R
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
DARE “line-up”
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Reconnecting
with your values
Engaging
(committed action)
Defusing
your thoughts
Accepting
life
ED
A R
DARE “line-up”
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
present moment awareness
(mindfulness)
self-as-context
(→ resilient self)
DARE
“Support”
ED
A R
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Experiment
with volume!
“Schlager music”
Cover Images of your favourite music
(for me personally that is Beatles & Queen)
(images removed for public version
because of copyright)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Psychological
Flexibility
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
a scientific concept
for growing
YOUR
“space for more
options”
[Cosima Laube]
“Flexible,
authentic,
responsive
Self”
[Atkins & Parker, 2012]
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Some science on Psychological Flexibility
Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training creates a more
flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in Organizations: Foundations,
research, and applications (pp. 133–162).
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mindfulness_tr
aining_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self
Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in Organizations: The Role
of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of Management Review, 37(4), 524–546.
https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490
Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post-Skinnerian Account
of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Recommendable tools, books & media
★ Stephen C. Hayes TEDxTalk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppg
★ ACT ADVISOR Tool
https://stevenchayes.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/The-ACT-Advisor.
pdf
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Best possible Selves
(take-home exercise)
[King, 2001; Blickhan, 2015]
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Day Parenting
(take-home)
[Bonifer & Shternshus, 2015]
[Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog]
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
bring more D.A.R.E.ing light
to your life…
one step at a time
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Why I am here...
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Bridge Builder & Travel Guide
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
More than
that!
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
experience // knowledge // training
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
bring more D.A.R.E.ing light
to your life…(and to the world)
one step at a time
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Cosima Laube
Developer, Coach, Trainer
& more than that
Contact -- booking -- slides:
https://cosima-laube.de
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
★ 4 days (best) in a row
★ 20 minutes per day
★ 1 life domain per day
(health, work, partner/family, friends,
treating yourself, …)
Best Possible Self – in a nutshell (1)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
★ first minutes: step mentally into your future best possible self in that life
domain
★ ~15 minutes: be your best possible self
○ Write continuously to those questions:
How are you? // What do you do? // What is important to you?
○ Don‘t stop writing! Don‘t judge.
○ Be surprised!
Best Possible Self – in a nutshell (2)
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Sources
on „Multiple Selves“ / Psychological Flexibility (1)
Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training creates a
more flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in Organizations:
Foundations, research, and applications (pp. 133–162).
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mindfuln
ess_training_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self
Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in Organizations: The
Role of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of Management Review, 37(4),
524–546. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490
Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post-Skinnerian
Account of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Sources
on „Multiple Selves“ / Psychological Flexibility (2)
Berger, J. G. and Atkins, P. W. B. (2009). Mapping complexity of mind: using the subject-object
interview in coaching. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 2 (1),
23-36.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233282213_Mapping_complexity_of_mind_Using_the_
subject-object_interview_in_coaching
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Sources
on Mindfulness, Work and Leadership
Good, D. J., Lyddy, C. J., Glomb, T. M., Bono, J. E., Brown, K. W., Duffy, M. K., Lazar, S. W. (2016).
Contemplating Mindfulness at Work: An Integrative Review. Journal of Management, 42(1),
114–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206315617003
Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., Astin, J. A., & Freedman, B. (2006). Mechanisms of mindfulness.
Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(3), 373–386. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20237
Dahl, C. J., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Reconstructing and deconstructing the self:
cognitive mechanisms in meditation practice. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9), 515–523.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.07.001
van Dierendonck, D. (2011). Servant Leadership: A Review and Synthesis. Journal of
Management, 37(4), 1228–1261. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310380462
Systematic iterature review on Mindfulness and Leadership (Bachelor thesis, Cosima Laube
2017) – available on demand
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Sources
Books, exercises & more (1)
Listening and Clean Language
• Hartley, Tamsin (2017): The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery
Positive Psychology
• Blickhan, D. (2015). Positive Psychologie: ein Handbuch für die Praxis. Paderborn: Junfermann
Verlag.
Best Possible Selves Exercise
• King, L. A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798–807. doi: 10.1177/0146167201 277003,
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247895325_The_Health_Benefits_of_Writing_about
_Life_Goals
• See pages 152/153 in Blickhan (2015) for a short description in German
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Sources
Books, exercises & more (2)
Karate Kid: Wax on, Wax off
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ynryUjGFt8
Improvisation / gamification of mindfulness for business organisations:
• Bonifer, Mike & Shternshus, Jessie (2015): CTRL-Shift
Day Parenting Exercise:
• http://notebook.cosima-laube.de/blog/20180419_ctrl-shift_dayParenting/
The Hanselminutes Tech Podcast with April Wensel on Compassionate Coding
• https://hanselminutes.com/641/compassionate-coding-with-april-wensel
Listening, MIndfulness & Leading:
• Bungay Stanier, Michael (2016): The Coaching Habit – Say less, Ask more & Change the way
you lead forever
Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
Image Sources
• mostly from unsplash.com
• book covers photographed from my own hardcopies
•

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Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. [NEW Version]

  • 1. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. Cosima Laube // #AgileTD 2019 ( my pronouns: she/her)
  • 2. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Why are YOU here?
  • 3. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Why I am here...
  • 4. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Bridge Builder & Travel Guide
  • 5. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Growing Leaders?
  • 6. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Leader-ship is an activity
  • 7. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c “Growing leaders”
  • 8. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Leadership is a journey that starts with your self
  • 9. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Multiple Selves? Self!
  • 10. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c mental illness cognitive dissonance wearing multiple hats/roles
  • 11. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c concepts
  • 12. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c awareness
  • 13. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c context
  • 14. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c concept contextawareness
  • 15. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Resilient, flexible Self self as concept self as context self as awareness
  • 16. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Resilient, flexible Self stories (old & current) past-oriented “data” from body and mind present-moment looking at the data and the stories like “sitting on a bench” self as concept self as context self as awareness
  • 17. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Mindfulness
  • 18. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Cover-image of the movie “Karate kid” showcasing that Mindfulness needs practise like Karate needs practise - regular practise of seemingly easy, unrelated “things”. (image removed in public version because of copyright)
  • 19. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Three breaths
  • 20. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Leadership
  • 21. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Leadership is a journey that starts with your self and involves others
  • 22. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c One minute / moment to arrive (individually or as group check-in)
  • 23. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Shift to connection (variation of 3 breaths)
  • 24. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Done?...yet? Are we...
  • 25. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c #1 - Stress
  • 26. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c
  • 27. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Beliefs // Assumptions // Judgements Comparison with others “I deserve that <promotion>” “I cannot do this” “I AM inadequate” Ruminating at night or day ∞
  • 28. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Just “make it go away”? We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking (that) we used when we created them. [A. Einstein]
  • 29. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Comic-style image from the book “Quiet the Mind” by Matthew Johnstone (https://matthewjohnstone.com.au/product/quiet-the-mind/) Image shows a human lying in bed on a pillow. Their brain is standing outside their skull happily “talking” to the seemingly unhappy human who is trying to get some sleep (image removed in public version because of copyright)
  • 30. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Just “make it go away”? Work on a bigger “mental torch” self as awarenessself as concept self as context self as awareness
  • 31. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Check your Self-Talk unhelpful (old) stories?
  • 32. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c #2 - Decisions
  • 33. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c when to lead and when to follow
  • 34. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c when to do sth. and when NOT TO DO sth.
  • 35. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c I better should… // I must… I do not want, but… Procrastination // Avoidance “Better avoid this!” “I hate... but I have to do ... anyway.” am I (really) doing “the right things”? ∞
  • 36. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c F.E.A.R.
  • 37. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Fusion with thoughts Evaluation of experience Avoidance of experience Reason-giving of behaviour Our own mental box of F.E.A.R....
  • 38. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Fusion with thoughts Evaluation of experience Avoidance of experience Reason-giving of behaviour What if you can shrink that box...?
  • 39. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c ED A Fusion with thoughts Evaluation of experience Avoidance of experience Reason-giving of behaviour … shrink F.E.A.R. and D.A.R.E. more! R
  • 40. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c DARE “line-up”
  • 41. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Reconnecting with your values Engaging (committed action) Defusing your thoughts Accepting life ED A R DARE “line-up”
  • 42. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c present moment awareness (mindfulness) self-as-context (→ resilient self) DARE “Support” ED A R
  • 43. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Experiment with volume! “Schlager music” Cover Images of your favourite music (for me personally that is Beatles & Queen) (images removed for public version because of copyright)
  • 44. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Psychological Flexibility
  • 45. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c a scientific concept for growing YOUR “space for more options” [Cosima Laube] “Flexible, authentic, responsive Self” [Atkins & Parker, 2012]
  • 46. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Some science on Psychological Flexibility Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training creates a more flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in Organizations: Foundations, research, and applications (pp. 133–162). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mindfulness_tr aining_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in Organizations: The Role of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of Management Review, 37(4), 524–546. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490 Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post-Skinnerian Account of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5
  • 47. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Recommendable tools, books & media ★ Stephen C. Hayes TEDxTalk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppg ★ ACT ADVISOR Tool https://stevenchayes.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/The-ACT-Advisor. pdf
  • 48. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Best possible Selves (take-home exercise) [King, 2001; Blickhan, 2015]
  • 49. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Day Parenting (take-home) [Bonifer & Shternshus, 2015] [Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog]
  • 50. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c bring more D.A.R.E.ing light to your life… one step at a time
  • 51. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Why I am here...
  • 52. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Bridge Builder & Travel Guide
  • 53. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c More than that!
  • 54. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c experience // knowledge // training
  • 55. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c bring more D.A.R.E.ing light to your life…(and to the world) one step at a time
  • 56. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Cosima Laube Developer, Coach, Trainer & more than that Contact -- booking -- slides: https://cosima-laube.de
  • 57. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c ★ 4 days (best) in a row ★ 20 minutes per day ★ 1 life domain per day (health, work, partner/family, friends, treating yourself, …) Best Possible Self – in a nutshell (1)
  • 58. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c ★ first minutes: step mentally into your future best possible self in that life domain ★ ~15 minutes: be your best possible self ○ Write continuously to those questions: How are you? // What do you do? // What is important to you? ○ Don‘t stop writing! Don‘t judge. ○ Be surprised! Best Possible Self – in a nutshell (2)
  • 59. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Sources on „Multiple Selves“ / Psychological Flexibility (1) Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training creates a more flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in Organizations: Foundations, research, and applications (pp. 133–162). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mindfuln ess_training_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in Organizations: The Role of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of Management Review, 37(4), 524–546. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490 Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post-Skinnerian Account of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5
  • 60. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Sources on „Multiple Selves“ / Psychological Flexibility (2) Berger, J. G. and Atkins, P. W. B. (2009). Mapping complexity of mind: using the subject-object interview in coaching. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 2 (1), 23-36. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233282213_Mapping_complexity_of_mind_Using_the_ subject-object_interview_in_coaching
  • 61. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Sources on Mindfulness, Work and Leadership Good, D. J., Lyddy, C. J., Glomb, T. M., Bono, J. E., Brown, K. W., Duffy, M. K., Lazar, S. W. (2016). Contemplating Mindfulness at Work: An Integrative Review. Journal of Management, 42(1), 114–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206315617003 Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., Astin, J. A., & Freedman, B. (2006). Mechanisms of mindfulness. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(3), 373–386. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20237 Dahl, C. J., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Reconstructing and deconstructing the self: cognitive mechanisms in meditation practice. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9), 515–523. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.07.001 van Dierendonck, D. (2011). Servant Leadership: A Review and Synthesis. Journal of Management, 37(4), 1228–1261. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310380462 Systematic iterature review on Mindfulness and Leadership (Bachelor thesis, Cosima Laube 2017) – available on demand
  • 62. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Sources Books, exercises & more (1) Listening and Clean Language • Hartley, Tamsin (2017): The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery Positive Psychology • Blickhan, D. (2015). Positive Psychologie: ein Handbuch für die Praxis. Paderborn: Junfermann Verlag. Best Possible Selves Exercise • King, L. A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798–807. doi: 10.1177/0146167201 277003, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247895325_The_Health_Benefits_of_Writing_about _Life_Goals • See pages 152/153 in Blickhan (2015) for a short description in German
  • 63. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Sources Books, exercises & more (2) Karate Kid: Wax on, Wax off • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ynryUjGFt8 Improvisation / gamification of mindfulness for business organisations: • Bonifer, Mike & Shternshus, Jessie (2015): CTRL-Shift Day Parenting Exercise: • http://notebook.cosima-laube.de/blog/20180419_ctrl-shift_dayParenting/ The Hanselminutes Tech Podcast with April Wensel on Compassionate Coding • https://hanselminutes.com/641/compassionate-coding-with-april-wensel Listening, MIndfulness & Leading: • Bungay Stanier, Michael (2016): The Coaching Habit – Say less, Ask more & Change the way you lead forever
  • 64. Cosima Laube // @gazebo_c Image Sources • mostly from unsplash.com • book covers photographed from my own hardcopies •