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Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. (The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018)

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Mindfulness is well-known for reducing stress but how does it fit with agile and lean thinking in a fast-paced high-tech world? It does very well as it supports developing authentic human beings who know when to lead and when to follow even in complex environments. It helps to grow responsible, resilient and courageous individuals who contribute to a 'whole' by delivering value in a sustainable manner. In this session we will first look into language, identity and awareness and how these rather basic 'human things' are relevant for modern leaders like e.g. software architects. I will guide you with the help of a validated psychological model how to identify and strengthen your leadership abilities. Together we make connections to where you are right now and which techniques you can take right away to integrate mindfulness directly in your (professional) life to actually take the next step towards your best possible selv(es).

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Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. (The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018)

  1. 1. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 1 Multiple Selves?! Growing leaders applied. Cosima Laube The Architecture Gathering, Munich, 2018 #TAG2018 Why are YOU here?
  2. 2. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 2 cosima@laube:~$ whoami Why am I here?
  3. 3. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 3 Computer Work it is! Well, that escalated happened quickly...
  4. 4. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 4 „no people work“ ?? „the easier choice“ ?? Product Development is People Work
  5. 5. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 5
  6. 6. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 6 … back to university! What colleagues thought I do...
  7. 7. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 7 …during the day … what I actually did (mostly)
  8. 8. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 8 Bridge Builder & Travel Guide
  9. 9. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 9 Leadership starts with YOURSELF
  10. 10. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 10 Leadership “[…] the first person I need to lead is me. The first person that I should try to change is me.” [John C. Maxwell]
  11. 11. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 11 Leadership starts with YOUR SELF Why are YOU here?
  12. 12. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 12 Quick Outline Some science… „Multiple Selves“ Model Even more science… How does the model work in detail?
  13. 13. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 13 How to grow (with) others? Where to start YOUR journey… How to grow yourself? „Multiple Selves“ Model [Atkins & Styles, 2015]
  14. 14. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 14 process story perspec tive 1. Self as story story
  15. 15. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 15 Self as story Verbal description of yourself („Conceptual Self“)  memories, experiences, plans, ...  abstraction of your past („Remembering Self“)  quite stable  public or private Pro: • predictability • coherence Con: - too past-oriented - often too rigid - limiting yourself Self as story
  16. 16. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 16 2. Self as process process Self as process Description of experiencing yourself… („Experiencing Self“)  in the present moment  in a particular context
  17. 17. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 17 Self as process Description of experiencing yourself… („Experiencing Self“)  in the present moment  in a particular context Pro:  socially useful ( predictability)  basis of self-regulation 3. Self as perspective perspec tive
  18. 18. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 18 Self as perspective  can not be observed („Transcendental Self“)  content-free  only accessible through metaphors pro- cess story pers pecti ve
  19. 19. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 19 process story perspec tive process story perspec tive
  20. 20. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 20 Psychological Flexibility ++
  21. 21. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 21
  22. 22. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 22 Seeing the „whole“ picture More options per situation YOU being the driver
  23. 23. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 23 Honoring your values and goals Psychological Flexibility  Flexible, authentic, responsive Self [Atkins & Parker, 2012]
  24. 24. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 24 Psych. Flexibility Leadership skills increases Leadership Motivation Self-Management Self-Awareness
  25. 25. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 25 How does it work ? Multiple Selves Identity [Atkins & Styles, 2015]
  26. 26. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 26 Identity = behaviour + mental relations [Atkins & Styles, 2015] Identity = behaviour + mental relations = { 3 senses of self, social experiences, human ability to refer to past / future } [Atkins & Styles, 2015]
  27. 27. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 27 Psych. Flexibility Leadership skills Identity increases „[how] a person talks about [their] self is the act of creating an identity“ [Atkins & Styles, 2015] Identity
  28. 28. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 28 Main driver for Identity: Language [Relational Frame Theory: Hayes et al. (2001)] „[how] a person talks about [their] self is the act of creating an identity“ „… [identity] is NOT a reflection of some underlying true self.“ [Atkins & Styles, 2015] Identity
  29. 29. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 29 Psych. Flexibility Leadership skills Identity Language creates increases Where to start ?
  30. 30. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 30 Talking & learning about the 3 Selves is a (self-)coaching intervention [Berger & Atkins, 2009] Psych. Flexibility Leadership skills Identity Language creates increases
  31. 31. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 31 Self-talk proce ss story pers pecti ve
  32. 32. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 32 I‘m the most important one here…. „I am the king of <FooBar42>…“ „I‘m the hero!“
  33. 33. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 33 Which examples of self-talk come to your mind? Where did it make a difference how you talked to yourself?
  34. 34. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 34 Best possible Selves (take-home exercise) [King, 2001; Blickhan, 2015]
  35. 35. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 35 pro- cess pers pecti ve story Mindfulness
  36. 36. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 36 Mindfulness Psych. Flexibility Leadership skills Identity Language creates increases facilitates Leadership Motivation Self-Management Self-Awareness Mindfulness
  37. 37. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 37 Mindfulness = focussed attention + witnessing awareness „A self-regulated attentional stance oriented towards present-moment experience that is characterized by curiosity, openness, and acceptance.“ [Dahl, Lutz, Davidson (2015)]
  38. 38. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 38 pro- cess pers pecti ve story Mind- ful- ness What kind of practise is that ‚mindful practise‘?
  39. 39. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 39 Three breaths pro- cess pers pecti ve story Mind- ful- ness
  40. 40. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 40 pro- cess pers pecti ve story Mind- ful- ness pro- cess pers pecti ve story Mind- ful- ness
  41. 41. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 41 process story pers pecti ve Mind- ful- ness process story pers pecti ve Mind- ful- ness
  42. 42. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 42 process story pers- pective Mind- ful- ness process story pers- pective
  43. 43. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 43 process story pers- pective Day Parenting (take-home) [Bonifer & Shternshus, 2015] [Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog]
  44. 44. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 44 How to grow with others? One minute to arrive (individually or as group check-in)
  45. 45. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 45 Noticing (a.k.a. „Name it to tame it.“) Leadership Empathy Motivation Self-Management Self-Awareness Mindfulness
  46. 46. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 46 Shift to connection (variation of 3 breaths)
  47. 47. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 47 Three breaths Shift to connection Noticing Minute to arrive / Check-in Day Parenting Best possible selves Leadership starts with your SELF
  48. 48. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 48 That‘s all I have… http://cosima-laube.de Do one thing at a time (take-home daily exercise) [Hartley, 2017]
  49. 49. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 49 Adding details [Hartley, 2017] Sources on the „Multiple Selves“ model Atkins, P. W. B., & Styles, R. (2015). Mindfulness, identity and work: mindfulness training creates a more flexible sense of self. In J. Reb & P. W. B. Atkins (Eds.), Mindfulness in Organizations: Foundations, research, and applications (pp. 133–162). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290490487_Mindfulness_identity_and_work_Mi ndfulness_training_creates_a_more_flexible_sense_of_self Atkins, P. W. B., & Parker, S. K. (2012). Understanding Individual Compassion in Organizations: The Role of Appraisals and Psychological Flexibility. Academy of Management Review, 37(4), 524–546. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2010.0490 Hayes, S. C., Barnes-Holmes, D., & Roche, B. (2001). Relational Frame Theory: A Post- Skinnerian Account of Human Language and Cognition. New York: Plenum Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2407(02)80063-5 Berger, J. G. and Atkins, P. W. B. (2009). Mapping complexity of mind: using the subject- object interview in coaching. Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice, 2 (1), 23-36. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233282213_Mapping_complexity_of_mind_Usin g_the_subject-object_interview_in_coaching
  50. 50. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 50 Sources on Mindfulness, Work and Leadership Good, D. J., Lyddy, C. J., Glomb, T. M., Bono, J. E., Brown, K. W., Duffy, M. K., Lazar, S. W. (2016). Contemplating Mindfulness at Work: An Integrative Review. Journal of Management, 42(1), 114–142. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206315617003 Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., Astin, J. A., & Freedman, B. (2006). Mechanisms of mindfulness. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 62(3), 373–386. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20237 Dahl, C. J., Lutz, A., & Davidson, R. J. (2015). Reconstructing and deconstructing the self: cognitive mechanisms in meditation practice. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 19(9), 515–523. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2015.07.001 van Dierendonck, D. (2011). Servant Leadership: A Review and Synthesis. Journal of Management, 37(4), 1228–1261. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310380462 Systematic iterature review on Mindfulness and Leadership (Bachelor thesis, Cosima Laube 2017) – available on demand Sources Books, exercises & more (1) Listening and Clean Language • Hartley, Tamsin(2017): The Listening Space – A New Path to Personal Discovery Positive Psychology • Blickhan, D. (2015). Positive Psychologie: ein Handbuch für die Praxis. Paderborn: Junfermann Verlag. Best Possible Selves Exercise • King, L. A. (2001). The health benefits of writing about life goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27(7), 798–807. doi: 10.1177/0146167201 277003, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247895325_The_Health_Benefits_of_Writing _about_Life_Goals • See pages 152/153 in Blickhan (2015) for a short description in German Karate Kid: Wax on, Wax off • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ynryUjGFt8 FITNESS TRAINING.
  51. 51. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 51 Sources Books, exercises & more (2) Improvisation / gamification of mindfulness for business organisations: • Bonifer, Mike & Shternshus, Jessie (2015): CTRL-Shift Day Parenting Exercise: • Cosima Laube L.I.S.T.E.N. Blog: http://blog.cosima-laube.de/blog/20180419_ctrl- shift_dayParenting The Hanselminutes Tech Podcast with April Wensel on Compassionate Coding • https://hanselminutes.com/641/compassionate-coding-with-april-wensel • 4 days (best) in a row • 20 minutes per day • 1 life domain per day (health, work, partner/family, friends, treating yourself, …) Best Possible Self – in a nutshell 1
  52. 52. The Architecture Gathering Munich 2018 10th October 2018 Created by Cosima Laube (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0) 52 • first minutes: step mentally into your future best possible self in that life domain • ~15 minutes: be your best possible self • Write continuously • How are you? • What do you do? • What is important to you? • Don‘t stop writing! • Don‘t judge. • Be surprised! Best Possible Self – in a nutshell 2 Picture sources & credits slide 7, 9: https://twitter.com/TheRealSheldonC slide 14, 16, 26, 42-46: Cosima Laube slide 62/66: photos from illustrations taken from the German version of the book „Quiet the self“ by Matthew Johnstone (therefore not included in public versions of these slides!) all others: http://unsplash.com

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