Successfully reported this slideshow.
We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime.

Owning Your Experience - Conversation Guide

The handout for my talk Owning Your Experience.

  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

Owning Your Experience - Conversation Guide

  1. 1. OWNING YOUR EXPERIENCE – THE CONVERSATIONAL GUIDE Art Doler - @arthurdoler EXPERIENTIAL LANGUAGE Experiential language:  Focuses on what’s happeningto an individual  Describes and delineates  Based on personal truth of the individual  Emotional  Can encourage self-directed action and self-responsibility DEALING WITH CRITICAL MOMENTS  Get the facts.ASK. o Don’t assumesomeone is safe. o Don’t assumesomeone is not safe.  If you have a clear,unambiguous statement of intent to causeharmto self or others, CALL FOR HELP. RULE 0 The end goal is notto solve or fix anything. SCRIPTS ASKING SCRIPT “I could really usesome support. Can you please[helpful action here]?” OR “I don’t know if you knew this, but I deal with (or am havingproblems with) [a specific kind of experience]. You’ve been helpful to me in the past;would itbe okay in the future if ask you to [actionablething] when [event happens]?” OFFERING SCRIPT “I noticed that [behavioral observation here]. Can we talk about it?” THEN “Do you think you could use[action here]? Can I help providethat?”
  2. 2. EXPLANATION SCRIPT “When [event happens],I [sometimes, often, always] feel like[insertfeelings here].To [deal,cope] with that, I [insert behavior here].” CHECK-IN SCRIPT “Hey, how areyou doing?”
  3. 3. INTERACTION TYPES TYPE IA – JORDAN ASKS TAYLOR FOR FUTURE SUPPORT Example: Ideally, Jordan:  Is clear and directin both what they’re asking Taylor to do, and when they’re askingTaylor to do it Ideally, Taylor:  Doesn’t problem-solve  Doesn’t promiseanythingthey’re uncomfortable doing
  4. 4. TYPE IIB- JORDAN IS IN CRISIS AND ASKS TAYLOR FOR SUPPORT Example: Ideally, Jordan:  Will ask for whatever they need right now, as specifically as possible  Will explain thatthey need to leave if they feel like they need to exit the situation Ideally, Taylor:  Remains calm  Doesn’t take Jordan’s leavingas an insult
  5. 5. TYPE IIA - JORDAN OFFERS FUTURE SUPPORT TO TAYLOR Example: Ideally, Jordan:  Accepts a “No” answer gracefully (and doesn’t take itpersonally)  Keeps their judgements and opinion out of it Ideally, Taylor:  Will only talk abouttheir mental state if they want to  Will provideclear guidancefor what Jordan can do
  6. 6. TYPE IIB- TAYLOR IS IN CRISIS AND JORDAN OFFERS SUPPORT Example: Ideally, Jordan:  Will keep their judgements and opinion out of it  Will followthe safety guidelines,unless they’ve prearranged a support responsewith Taylor Ideally, Taylor:  Will behonest about what they need, even if it’s nothing  Won’t assumethey’re being a waste of Jordan’s time
  7. 7. TYPE III -TAYLOR EXPLAINING TO JORDAN WHAT THEY FEEL Example: Ideally, Jordan:  Will listen respectfully  Won’t problem-solve Ideally, Taylor:  Will avoid blamingor ranting  Won’t apologizefor their feelings
  8. 8. TYPE IV - TAYLOR CHECKING IN WITH JORDAN Example: Ideally, Jordan:  Will answer as with much depth as they feel comfortable – includingnotat all Ideally, Taylor:  Will legitimately careabouthow Jordan is doing  Will consider settingup a check-in scheduleor recurringappointment with Jordan
  9. 9. TYPE V - JORDAN AND TAYLOR TALKING LIKE NORMAL HUMANS Example: Talk with people likethey area fellowbeing who has varied attributes and interests!