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Why NOT To Do a Startup Dave McClure 500startups.com Master of 500 Hats Startup Day - Seattle, Sept 2010 @DaveMcClure
#1: You’re a WANTrepreneur. You’re in this for all the Wrong reasons: Because it’s Cool. You want to make Money. You have Teh AwesomeTechnology Solution. “They Can Never Take Away My Freeeeedom!” The Right Reasons: You Live in Fear. You Can’t Get Laid. Something has been PISSING you off FOREVER. YOU ARE PASSIONATEABOUT [SOLVING] A [CUSTOMER] PROBLEM
#2: You are a FAT and LAZY SLOB You’ve worked at Microsoft for >5 yrs. You Drive a Nice Car & It’s Paid For. You Live in a Big House. You Don’t Worry About Paying Bills. You Want to Kiss The KidsGoodnight. You      Your Spouse > Your Startup.
#3: You Have a BUSINESS PLAN,But No Product and No Customers. See: “Startup Metrics for Pirates”
#4: Your Idea SUCKS(and even your Mom thinks so) You Don’t Have a Working Prototype. Or Worse: You Do, But No One is Using It. It Sucks a Lot More than the Competition See: “Lean Startup (Ries) & Customer Development (Blank)”
#5: You Have Teh Awesome SOLUTION…to a PROBLEM that does not exist.  See: “Your Solution  Is Not My Problem”
#6: You’re a LOSER, not a LEADER. You Procrastinate. You’re not Charismatic. You Get Beaten Up Your Vision is usually Wrong. You’re Scared of Change. When Other People Tell You You’re Wrong, You Believe Them. Watch: “Kick-Ass” or “Glee”
#7: Your Pitch Sucks & You Won’t Raise Money (or SuperAngelsCollude to Screw You Over) 50 slide deck Technical Jargon Demo FAIL Clueless Investors EVIL Investors See: “How To Pitch a VC”
#8: Your Team Sucks, and You Have No Idea How to Hire (or Fire). No Technical Founders / Coders No Design / UX / Usability Exp No Internet Mktg (Search, Social) No Enterprise Sales / Biz Dev
#9: Yr CoFounders& Employees =Whiners.  You WILL miss a payroll. Someone WILL eat last slice of pizza. There WILL be Politics. People WILL discover and compare salary & stock options.  Someone WILL sueyou: Sexual Harassment Wrongful Termination Unhappy Customer Jealous Competitor
#10: You Can’t Sell or Market Shit. You Don’t Know Marketing. You Think Marketing = PR. You Don’t Know what SEO stands for. You Think SEM = SEO. You Don’t Know or Use Social Platforms (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube). You’ve never built Facebook or iPhone App, or a Social Game. You’ve never sent an email campaign. You’ve never done affiliate marketing. See: “Startup-Marketing.com (Ellis)”
#11: You’d Rather Change the Channel Than Change The World Wouldn’t you rather be watching GLEE or MNF? Sure you would. Fuck. That. Noise.

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Why Not to Do a Startup Dave McClure

  • 1. Why NOT To Do a Startup Dave McClure 500startups.com Master of 500 Hats Startup Day - Seattle, Sept 2010 @DaveMcClure
  • 2. #1: You’re a WANTrepreneur. You’re in this for all the Wrong reasons: Because it’s Cool. You want to make Money. You have Teh AwesomeTechnology Solution. “They Can Never Take Away My Freeeeedom!” The Right Reasons: You Live in Fear. You Can’t Get Laid. Something has been PISSING you off FOREVER. YOU ARE PASSIONATEABOUT [SOLVING] A [CUSTOMER] PROBLEM
  • 3. #2: You are a FAT and LAZY SLOB You’ve worked at Microsoft for >5 yrs. You Drive a Nice Car & It’s Paid For. You Live in a Big House. You Don’t Worry About Paying Bills. You Want to Kiss The KidsGoodnight. You Your Spouse > Your Startup.
  • 4. #3: You Have a BUSINESS PLAN,But No Product and No Customers. See: “Startup Metrics for Pirates”
  • 5. #4: Your Idea SUCKS(and even your Mom thinks so) You Don’t Have a Working Prototype. Or Worse: You Do, But No One is Using It. It Sucks a Lot More than the Competition See: “Lean Startup (Ries) & Customer Development (Blank)”
  • 6. #5: You Have Teh Awesome SOLUTION…to a PROBLEM that does not exist. See: “Your Solution Is Not My Problem”
  • 7. #6: You’re a LOSER, not a LEADER. You Procrastinate. You’re not Charismatic. You Get Beaten Up Your Vision is usually Wrong. You’re Scared of Change. When Other People Tell You You’re Wrong, You Believe Them. Watch: “Kick-Ass” or “Glee”
  • 8. #7: Your Pitch Sucks & You Won’t Raise Money (or SuperAngelsCollude to Screw You Over) 50 slide deck Technical Jargon Demo FAIL Clueless Investors EVIL Investors See: “How To Pitch a VC”
  • 9. #8: Your Team Sucks, and You Have No Idea How to Hire (or Fire). No Technical Founders / Coders No Design / UX / Usability Exp No Internet Mktg (Search, Social) No Enterprise Sales / Biz Dev
  • 10. #9: Yr CoFounders& Employees =Whiners. You WILL miss a payroll. Someone WILL eat last slice of pizza. There WILL be Politics. People WILL discover and compare salary & stock options. Someone WILL sueyou: Sexual Harassment Wrongful Termination Unhappy Customer Jealous Competitor
  • 11. #10: You Can’t Sell or Market Shit. You Don’t Know Marketing. You Think Marketing = PR. You Don’t Know what SEO stands for. You Think SEM = SEO. You Don’t Know or Use Social Platforms (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube). You’ve never built Facebook or iPhone App, or a Social Game. You’ve never sent an email campaign. You’ve never done affiliate marketing. See: “Startup-Marketing.com (Ellis)”
  • 12. #11: You’d Rather Change the Channel Than Change The World Wouldn’t you rather be watching GLEE or MNF? Sure you would. Fuck. That. Noise.